Name: This Is Stanhope's First Time Leaving Bisbee in 1 Year
Uploaded: 2021-03-25T18:28:17.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'This Is Stanhope's First Time Leaving Bisbee in 1 Year' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-03-25. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'This Is Stanhope's First Time Leaving Bisbee in 1 Year' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-03-25. Transcript available.

the Joe Rogan experience I am fucking nervous why for real yeah why uh it's a
no it's a good thing I haven't left my fucking house in a year you've been
totally locked up well I mean I go to the grocery store how'd you how did you
avoid getting it you didn't get it at all right no the cooties no because
everyone I know is a shut-in too and I fucking loved it as it is like I left a
day after my year anniversary I packed a week before coming here so all you've
done is go to the food store yep Wow I went up to Phoenix for New Year's to see
it's a long story to see a dog that I almost kept but I gave away anyway so
yes basically no I have not left fucking Bisbee Arizona in a year and I didn't
think it affected me until I left it's like if you stayed in bed for a year
going I don't need to walk I know how to walk and then after a year you like
fuck
my legs what feels the weirdest would just figuring out how to pack for the
road I
I packed everything I drove and I left Sunday to be here Wednesday it's a 13-hour
drive I could have done
it in one shot but I was so excited I'm gonna leave on Sunday and just take the
back roads and like I practiced talking on the phone before I came here an hour
and a
half before I'm just calling people like I don't talk to anyone on the phone
the only time I use the
phone is to figure out where to meet you to talk I don't like socialize on the
phone you and I talk
maybe twice a year tops and when I see it's you I go do I have an hour okay I'll
make an hour because we
don't but otherwise so I was like I haven't talked to people other than do you
have a room available for
three days right and a half days so I was calling you know bingo and Brian Hennigan
going just talk to me like you don't I I packed it what I thought was a carload
of shit I forgot
vodka which is my go-to drink and a shirt I only had the t-shirt that I was
wearing that after three
days started to stink and I went fuck I didn't pack another shirt did you go
shirt shopping then
yeah I went to the thrift store oh thrift store yeah of course yes you notice I'm
fucking I did like I
brought two different suits like goofy suits right I'm like I've been wearing
pajamas for a year I
think I would be even more awkward if I was wearing a suit especially with
stupid hair when did the
goofy suits become a thing with you like what year 1989 it started in telemarketing
because my mother
would send me goofy suits like that because they had just gone out of style
like in that earlier that
decade so they're you know fucking it's like buying acid wash jeans now yeah
they're a fucking
nickel a pair at the thrift store so Jamie has a few pairs acid wash sweatpants
oh yes that's right
sweatpants yeah but that's your signature shit now the goofy suit yeah and I go
I don't think I'm ready
to put on a goofy suit I don't know if it it would clash with the goofy hair
because people will show
my shows in goofy suits but they'll have like plaid on plaid and you go no that
doesn't work like I
I accessorize perfectly in a goofy suit but I go I have the goofy hair now is
that like polka dots on
plaid I don't know right have you gone too far yeah I want to be comfortable
here so I'm wearing pajamas
like pajamas like I have for the last year why don't you just wear pajamas that's
what I'm wearing
well pajama pants are those pajama pants yeah okay there you go and this is uh
this was my old travel
shirt I wore this anytime I traveled but yeah I want to be comfortable I don't
want to fuck you've stayed
within your means very well look you've never had to worry about finances like
you've you dialed that in
early yeah uh you never fell into the trap a lot of people do well they like
buy a bigger house or buy
a bigger yeah or this or that my shit's paid for mm-hmm after a year of not
working I go oh I always
bragged about how much fucking I don't need to work and then I go all right now
I'm starting to worry
you should I buy this dumb plastic shit from Amazon or not when you think you're
gonna start working
are you gonna get the vaccine I got my first shot which one the Pfizer or the
Moderna I got my first
shot about two weeks ago two weeks ago tomorrow why is it funny because I just
realized I still have
the fucking band-aid when I took a bath I'm such a fucking slothful pig when it
comes to bathing
and it's still there I didn't wash that hard that it came off even last night
they're resilient those
band-aids they'll they'll stick around for a while well I'm gonna get my follow-up
shot two weeks from
now they'll just put the same lady and I wanted to see the same dirty bandage
and make her pick it off
I know that's rude but I think it's funny catch new episodes of the Joe Rogan
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