Name: Joe Spotted a Black Panther in Texas
Uploaded: 2021-06-15T18:03:52.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Spotted a Black Panther in Texas' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-06-15. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Spotted a Black Panther in Texas' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-06-15. Transcript available.

The Joe Rogan experience. Dude last night, okay last night on my security
camera
There was a big black cat like a 60 70 pound fucking something or another
Well, I don't know what it see the thing about Texas is is a real issue
There's more tigers in captivity in Texas than all of the wild of the world
really because it's like
Just people just have a fucking fence. I want a tiger and you could just have a
tiger. Yeah, because it's because of freedom
Right America. Yeah, like zebras like my wife saw a zebra once she's driving on
the road
Zebras just get out right like people have zebras and they just get out
sometimes. Well, whatever this thing was
It's like a black panther. No, you cannot. Are they short? No, they're horse-sized
They're it's a fucking horse a wild horse that cannot be tamed. No one has ever
been able to tame a zebra
It's like trying to ride a wolf like get the fuck out. I relate. Maybe my
spirit. Anyway, I'm in the middle of this
Sorry outside of my fucking house. There is a
Big black cat yeah, like a black pan. I'm like like as big as my dog
You know, my dog's like 80 pounds. This thing is like that size probably like a
little less than him
But it's a big fucking black cat and you see its eyes on the security camera
walking down and then my neighbor
Who walks his fucking dog at night? His dog is like on death's door, right?
It's like sweetheart of a dog, but and he's so he's got a headlamp on the dog.
No the neighbor
Story and you're fucking up my flow
This guy punchline is use me. This guy is dragging his fucking dog, right?
You know the dog walks slow and he's gonna kind of pull him along on the leash
the cat runs towards them
I'm thinking I'm gonna see a murder. Were you a little excited be honest? No,
no, because I had found out about it after the fact
I know he was okay, but it like it ran towards him and then decided last second
to dart off into the woods
But like it heard the footsteps
Turned the tail and it just goes running towards him like I thought he was a
fucking deer or something
But it was creep. It was a big black cat. Yeah
I'm like more concerned. How are these people able to walk their dog so close
to my king's home? I don't like this well
They live in the neighborhood
but it's a this fucking cat is
Wandering around in like a resident. That's crazy and it's because it's from
someone else's house
I don't know what it is when I looked at it. I just typed in
Black Panthers in Texas in the wild
Yeah, what comes up is from not that long ago. It says the
Wildlife officials say they don't exist in Texas and what you probably saw is a
black hog or otter. I'm like, no, no, no
That's not possible. I thought you were gonna say it was like a black panther
rally. I have a video. Yeah, it's a black cat
There's no doubt about it. No ifs, ands, or buts. I know what a hog looks like.
They look totally different
A hog is a big bodied thing with little tiny ass legs. I'm right here
Okay, and I'm still wearing my hat shirts. I don't give a shit. Black Panthers
do not exist in Lone Star State
That's not true. I don't like Lone Star. It's not so sad
It's not it could have been private I guess. Yeah, but that's my whole point
Yeah, I know back up. That's listen. That's what it looked like. No fucking
bullshit. That is 100% gorgeous eyes
That is a hot animal. That is a sexy animal. If I was a girl I'd want to get
fucked by that. My dad might be upset
But if I was a girl cat see those things black panthers what they are is
It's the spots, but the spots are all over their whole body. Oh really? Yeah
Yeah, so what that is is like a jaguar is their skin if you shaved it is their
skin dark. I don't believe so
I don't know though might be um
Show me
Like Google
Jag a black jaguar spots
Well, there's this thing jaguar undies the mystery of the Texas black panther
sighting solve
What is that a year before that? I don't know. I mean, I saw this to jaguar undies.
Those sound hot
they come in thongs one of my security guys said he saw one in the woods and
He was I think he said he was walking his dog too and he saw one in the woods a
black panther
He said it was just like that and he was the one who spotted this thing on the
camera
So they're fucking listen. I have a video of it. I believe 100% real
So those assholes from Texas wildlife need to shut the fuck up. I got a video
this thing
Well, they probably are saying there's none like just in the habitat, but they
don't know here's the here's why they don't know that
Jaguars in particular have been spotted in the wild in Arizona and they didn't
think they used to exist in Arizona
They thought they were extirpated bullet pull up Jaguars in Arizona. It's gonna
be the cars. There's a lot of retired people
I can't help it. They're new cars Jaguars. They still make them. What's the car?
Okay, when I make it when I make my big bucks coming up here, what's my car?
You're kind of I think you need a convertible look at you really I want to test
the first see these are jaguars in
In Arizona pretty beautiful gorgeous animal, but you know, I want to just wear
that jacket
Ha ha just get a fake one. Of course. I would never get a real one don't murder
the job
I would never so someone killed that one the lower left-hand corner
That was though that they killed it in Mexico and that was like a famous Jaguar
Do you know it was one of the two remaining Jaguars in the US it says two
remaining Jaguars in the US, but I'm pretty sure they killed it in go
No, no go back
Go back
well, that's really sad
left-hand corner and right but right below related images
See known Jaguar shown out right there. Yeah, click on that one because that
article
It explains how they know it roamed southern Arizona 2016, but they killed it
in Mexico
Interesting to wear a matching dress with the background does she have a
matching Jaguar dress?
No, I'm just I know she was wearing a blue
Oh with the background was blue. You're such a girl. I can't help it. I tried
not to be
I do
Yeah, doesn't say anyway, I'm a 90 90 percent sure they killed it in Mexico,
but they live in Mexico
They live in South cow ish. Yeah, does look at those slides
They live in the say killed by a mountain lion hunter
It's a rumor that it was oh you heard someone trapped or killed one in Mexico
Mmm, Sonora Mexico. Yeah, that's what I heard - um, but my point is
That in South America
They're plentiful, right? They live in the jungle like in the Amazon. They're
very dangerous like the jack people all the time
They're big. It's a big animal. What do they do to them?
They eat them. Oh, they kill them
They eat people. Yeah, yeah, do you know when people do ayahuasca and they do
it in the Amazon?
They have all these images of jaguars and there's jaguars and snakes are like a
big part of the the natural imagery
Yeah, I did mine in Chicago. I was just thinking deep dish pizzas and they
think they're taking on the spirit of the jungle
And this is like you like all the things you're afraid of in the jungle and all
the things that are in control in the wild and the
powerful forces of the jungle
I don't know
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