Name: Phony TV Psychics
Uploaded: 2021-06-17T18:24:18.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Phony TV Psychics' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-06-17. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Phony TV Psychics' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-06-17. Transcript available.

The Joe Rogan Experience
I'd say you're honest and I mean this I think you're one of the most open-minded
people I've ever met
Thank you. You have very little like
Fuck off in you. I got a little fuck off, but my fuck off is for fuckery
You know when people just when it's like openly horse shit like come on
If someone's like, you know like fucking psychics or something like that. You
gotta meet my reader
Like get the fuck out of here. My reader. I've had people say that to me. My
psychic reader. Let her read your cards
I'm like no, no, no, I'm not gonna let her not gonna let her read my cards
That reminds me of Miss Cleo. Remember Miss Cleo in the 1990s
Didn't Dionne Warwick have a show like Psychic Friends Network? Wasn't there
something like that? Was it Dionne Warwick?
Was it right? Yeah, Dionne Warwick the amazing singer had the Psychic Friends
Network. That's so weird
He was a singer and he did that a woman Dionne Warwick
Do you know who Dionne? Do you know the way to San Jose? I know that song. Yes.
Yeah
Psychic Friends Network
What?
1992
That's Dionne Warwick
Oh my god
Yeah, look at that
Dionne Warwick would sit you down with a bunch of people that were lying
And they would pretend that they knew things and they would sit there. Oh,
there's Linda Georgian
Oh my god
Yeah, that guy is psychic and she's psychic and they're
Oh, these are people from
One Life to Live and Date
Another World
So there's soap opera stars that were like this psychic changed the way I do my
readings
Now when I play my character
The voice
The voice is ridiculous
Let me hear that. Give me some of that
Go back
Be the end of our relationship
I mean, it's just gonna ultimately destroy
No, no, no, go back
Go back
I need to hear what this fucking nonsense is
Hear what one of our psychics had to say about daytime TV's hottest couple
Is this gonna be the end of our relationship?
I mean, it's just gonna ultimately destroy our
I asked her
Who asked her that?
Yeah
Meet others
Imagine that's the commercial
She's like, you asked her that?
What the fuck is wrong with you?
Don't you know we're gonna be together forever?
You're such an asshole, Mark
Oh my god
How the fuck did you ask the psychic something you already know?
We're gonna be together forever, right?
God damn it
That, uh, first of all, 90s infomercials are glorious
How about Dionne Warwick's hair?
How about that?
That was something special, wasn't it?
You never heard Dionne Warwick sing?
No, the song that you just sang I've heard before
But I didn't know who the fuck sang
And I didn't know her name
It's a beautiful voice
It's always sad when someone's like genuinely talented
And you wind up, you see them wind up like doing something like that
And you're like, ugh
Yeah, no
You're just ripping people off
Just stealing
Yeah, that is bad
Because it really is
The Psychic Within
Oh my god
Oh boy, what is that, a game?
It's something, it's a psychic kit
You can buy on Amazon
Oh my god
Oh no
Do you remember?
It must be really old
No, Dionne
Someone still has it
It's only $21.95, Joe
I feel like we should order it
It contains a full color video featuring Linda Georgian
That's that lady
Go back to that so I can see what that said there
Full color video featuring Lisa Georgian, Linda Georgian
And the Master Psychics
Oh, look
They're taking in two I's
How about they spelled taking wrong?
I don't trust them
They're tacking
How about that?
How about
They're taking you
Step by step
But they're spelling taking with an extra I
Nobody even caught that
What if we go back to that in a week
And they'll go
Oh, they're talking shit about us
We need to change the wording
The Psychic Within
Do you remember crossing over with John Edward?
Oh, that guy was a real charlatan, right?
Oh, man
You know, I think he got fired when he tried to do it with like 9-11 victims
Oh
I don't know if I
Am I right about that, Jamie?
What a piece of shit
I think that's what happened
But I'm going off memory on that one
Oh, my God
Yeah
The audacity
Oh, I know
That's what happened
The network was like
You're doing what?
Oh, my God
The audacity
That guy's terrible, man
That sounds about correct
Wow
That was all memory, too
It makes sense, though
I mean, if you're a thief, you're a thief
I mean, that's all they are
They're just thieves
They're just doing it in a different way
They're stealing and lying in a different way
It's just instead of like breaking into someone's car
They're pretending
They have an earpiece in
And they're pretending
They can sense where, you know
Your childhood trauma comes from
You lost your father when you were 10
Oh, my God
He did
Some of these people
It was less than two months after it
Wow
Imagine that
Holy fucking shit
Imagine that
He was like
I know what we're going to do
We're going to capitalize on this
This is going to take our show to the next level
Fuck
They caught one of these guys
Remember?
I think the guy's name is Peter Popov
He used to have all these infomercials at night
Where he's like
Buy the holy water and it'll save you
Oh
And then they caught him
I think somebody did this thing
Where it was like a sting operation
They had
He had an earpiece in
And he was listening to people
And he was like telling them stuff
That they thought he couldn't know
But he heard it earlier
Is that him?
Look at that fuck
He looks evil
This fucker
Yeah
He definitely looks gross
Whoa
Wow
He looks demonic
He does, doesn't he?
Like a ghost
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