Name: Joe Rogan Experience #1672 - Iliza
Uploaded: 2021-06-24T00:00:00.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1672 - Iliza' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-06-24. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1672 - Iliza' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-06-24. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #1672 - Iliza

Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out.
The Joe Rogan Experience.
Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day.
Hello, Eliza.
Hi, Joe Rogan.
Good to see you, as always.
Thanks so much for having me.
I hear you're a big movie star now.
Who told you that?
Vanity Fair or someone.
They misspelled my name in the article.
No.
How did they fuck up Eliza?
Did they fuck up the last name?
It's the last name.
Yeah, well, that's why you went with just Eliza, too, right?
You're in that rare group of humans that could go with one name.
People are like, who do you think you are?
I'm like, someone with a complex German phonetic last name.
Yeah, Schlesinger.
It's a rough one.
Schlesinger, yeah, it's rough.
It's hard.
It's hard.
See, I fucked it up, and I know you forever.
I'm so used to it, though.
And what's weird is people always say it wrong, and then when they spell it,
yes, there should
be a C in it, but there isn't.
But they'll go to spell it, and they always add a C. I'm like, weird that, like,
you don't
understand anything else, but you have a firm grasp on German phonetics.
Like, everybody knows there should be a C, no matter how smart or stupid they
are.
Really?
Yeah.
And there should be.
We changed it at Ellis Island.
Oh, really?
Why did they change it?
My great-great-grandpa was like, we'll make it less Jewish.
I'm like, I don't think that did it.
Oh, boy.
It just made it really hard.
Oh, boy.
Make it less Jewish.
Yeah.
That's hilarious.
It's what it is.
But we try to drop it just for...
But there's, like, you, Roseanne, Sebastian.
Yeah.
Oprah.
But again...
There's only a few people that can go by one name.
Maniscalco's hard.
Yeah, it's a rough one.
Winfrey isn't.
That's a flex.
Barr isn't.
That's a flex.
Schlesinger...
This is for everyone's mental health.
Yeah.
I should have done it earlier.
But I don't know if Roseanne did it, or if people just call her Roseanne.
I think it's that.
Yeah.
Because there's no other Roseanne.
Yeah.
So...
Roseanne Arquette.
Roseanne-a, though.
Right.
Right.
And they don't do the same thing.
I don't think people confuse them.
No.
And who's that character Gilda Radner used to play?
Roseanne-a-rosanne-danna.
That's such a deep cut.
Like, I feel like most people don't know that.
Yeah.
They're so young.
Well, I'm old.
I knew it.
I remember those things.
Yeah.
But it's also, like, it's comedy history.
It is.
Yeah.
She was comedy.
Gilda, that's another one.
Right.
But everybody called her Gilda Radner, right?
They did.
They did.
Yeah.
We did.
But then there's, like, a thing, like, where comics would call Eddie Murphy
Eddie.
But that was almost like a flex of intimacy.
Yes.
You know?
People do that for Chappelle.
But I think he goes by Chappelle.
Yeah.
But, like, yeah, I was at Chappelle's, like, his camp.
And I'm like, you don't know him like that.
Like, you bought a ticket.
Summer camp.
I don't do the last name thing.
It's a very, like, familiar.
People do it.
It's a very, like, jocular.
Like, we go by last names.
And I, because mine's so long, no one's ever called me by that.
If I meet you, I'm calling you by your first name.
Okay.
And it's just.
I get it.
I just do.
Yeah.
Or Joey Diaz calls you your full name.
Does he?
He'll fuck up the last name.
No.
Liza Schlesen.
Schlesen den.
I call him Joey Diaz.
Yeah.
Some people go by both.
He calls everybody by your full name.
If he wants to say something important to me, he goes, Joe Rogan.
Listen to me, Joe Rogan.
Joe Rogan.
I'm just calling to see how you're doing.
Yeah.
He does that, too, right?
He does that.
Yeah.
All the time.
He's such a Menchie thing to do.
It's very East Coast.
Yeah.
He's a sweetheart.
He really is.
People don't understand Joey because of some of the things that he said.
If you see it out of context, you think like, oh, what an awful person.
He's one of the nicest guys of all time.
You could think that about anyone out of context.
For sure.
No, he's a sweet man.
For sure.
Who ate a lot of mushrooms at our last interview.
And I was like, do I have to do?
I don't want to.
I've never seen someone consume so many different types of drugs.
Like it was candy.
On a podcast.
Just like eating gummies.
I'm like, you know, this isn't real candy.
Like this is going to do something.
Horking them down.
And I was like, this is an hour podcast.
Yeah.
I don't know if it's the best for the quality of the podcast, but for the
actual freak show
aspect of the experience, it's off the charts.
I drank one.
I had like half a drink.
I played Hollywood Game Night once and I was like a little weird on camera and
I was like,
we're never doing it again.
What's Hollywood Game Night?
It's like that show.
It's Jane Lynch.
It's like on, I think it's ABC.
It's like celebrities come and they play games for charity and they have liquor
there because
they're hoping you'll get drunk and like do something.
And I had one and I was like, my eyes start.
Like you don't want that captured on camera.
Yeah.
Actually being drunk unless it's for like world star.
Yeah.
There's not like how many people have shows where you have to drink on their
show?
It's pretty rare.
I don't think you ever have to, but I think it's always executives always have
this thing.
They're like, let's set it up.
Like, it's just a hang.
It's an interview, but there's a bar.
This is different.
This is very relaxed.
It's your own thing.
But they always want to make it like you happen upon this conversation in
someone's living room
with cameras.
Yeah.
That doesn't work.
The other thing about those things is like whenever they do try to set up those
fake intimate
things, there's always a bunch of people moving around in the background and
you got to go,
Hey, you got to sit still.
Like you can't just have a conversation.
Like they do, they do these things that like, I did a Bill Simmons podcast and
I did it when
it was on HBO and I was like, why do you have so many people working for you?
Right.
Like it's supposed to be just you and me.
It's like, I don't know how to fire them.
There was, I mean, there was dozens of people.
I think you can request like an Oprah interview.
You can request no one else be there.
Really?
You could also request that they just all stay in the truck for production.
Well, you're just not going to have that feeling like you're hanging.
If there's a bunch of people walking around in the background, you see a bunch
of production
assistants.
I would feel like as a comic, it would like not bother you or like fuel you.
People walking around?
No, because they're not paying attention to you.
They're doing other stuff.
It's not like they're an audience watching, like all sitting down watching.
That would be fine.
It's distracting.
They're moving around.
Yeah.
It's like they try to recreate intimacy on a set, but then they have 20 people
working
on the production side.
Yeah.
It's just fucking weird.
Those shows are weird.
Like they have so many people working there.
It's like, how are there enough jobs for you folks?
I feel that way about like some YouTube shows where I'm just like, why does it
require this
much?
Yeah.
Why there's so many production assistants?
Exactly.
I think people just kind of want to be there and they're like, you can pay me
in gummy bears.
I think what it is, is like people want to try to imitate a television show.
And if you were on an actual television show, like a CBS show or something like
that, there'd
be a gang of people on the set.
They think it equals value.
Yeah.
Right.
I know comics or that have shows and they hire interns.
So they have people that work for them for nothing.
Yeah.
And they get like school credit.
I did that.
Did you do that?
It's kind of a scam experience, you know, and that's obviously like a privilege
thing.
Like, oh, I'll just be able to feed myself otherwise and I'll just get this
experience.
How did you do it?
What'd you do?
It was a part of, I went to Emerson and their LA program was you move here, you
stay at the
Oakwoods and you intern, you take classes at the LA campus for Emerson, but
then you intern,
you know, if you apply to an internship, like you would a job, you know?
And so you're there like four days a week doing like grunt work, mostly just
sitting at a desk.
At least that's what I did.
Um, but it's the idea that you're kind of dipping your toes, seeing what you
might like,
what you might be good at.
So it wasn't really.
Yeah.
Did it like make you think like, okay, I definitely don't want to work on a set.
Uh, I wasn't on a set.
I was in, it was the United Artists office and it made me think I definitely do
not want
to log all of these indie submission movies that were like shot on a Nokia
phone.
Just logging details of stuff.
You're like, no one's ever going to, I would do it for my boss.
Like I'd write all the info in case they ever revisited it, but it was just
going in a trash
hole.
And when you, were you doing standup at the time?
Uh, that's a great question.
Yes.
When was your first day on stage?
In LA?
Ever.
It's a real, my first, first, first standup?
First, first.
First standup.
Yeah.
First standup was.
Why is this?
Because I did improv.
Trying to avoid the question?
No, I just, I just want to make sure I answer it precisely.
Yes.
The first day, you're right.
Your first day on stage doing standup.
It's totally wholly unrelatable, but my second to last semester of college, I
did a semester
at sea.
So you go on this boat with like 600 kids from all over the country and you
travel, you get
to go all these countries and you take classes on the boat.
Oh, wow.
And we would do like, you know, at night they'd have, you know, dinner and you'd
have
like coffee houses, like on Thursdays.
And you could sing a song, you could do a poem, a lot of beat poetry.
Oh, boy.
A lot of emotional poetry.
Oh, Christ.
And I had written, as one does, a one-man show in college.
So I took a couple of those jokes and I decided I would talk about my
observations about the
guys and the girls on the ship.
Because it was my first real time around like frat guys and sorority girls
because I went
to like a small liberal arts school.
And I was just fascinated by the way they were all interacting.
We were all interacting and observations about the ship and food and whatever,
common experiences.
So I got up and I read like a monologue I'd written about what we were going
through.
And it became a thing I did every week.
And then I took that when I got to LA and somebody said, do you want like five
minutes at room
five, which is a bar that doesn't exist above a restaurant that doesn't exist
anymore.
And I just started doing stand-up there.
Wow.
Yeah.
So what year was this?
That was probably like, I graduated college like 2005.
Because I had been doing, I did comedy for three years before it like all took
off.
So when did I meet you?
Like become friends meet or like, I always knew who you were.
We became friends pretty quick.
Yeah.
So it's such a nebulous.
Like you think back, you're like, what's 10 years ago?
I know it's, it's, it's, it's going by very quickly.
Like I've been here a year already.
Yeah.
Which is crazy.
That is crazy.
Yeah.
I remember visiting you.
Yeah.
Um, it's cause I, right.
I did a drive in here.
Um, I don't know.
I became a regular at the store probably like 2007.
That was right when I left.
That's right.
Cause you weren't there the whole time.
Yeah.
So when did I do your podcast?
You had a podcast at the laugh factory.
I did.
Yeah.
I was on your first episode.
Yeah.
You were so kind cause you had a podcast, right?
You must have.
I might've been 2009 if that's the case.
Cause that's when I started way later.
Something like that.
Yeah.
It had to be after 2009.
I couldn't believe you said yes.
And I was like, this is it.
It's all going to be smooth sailing from here.
I got Joe Rogan and you were cool.
And I think you came on like my next podcast, like the next iteration when I
moved companies.
So you're a giver.
Yeah.
Well, you, uh, you and I have always had a fun relationship.
Yeah.
I've al