Name: Iliza Turned Her "Fake Yale Graduate" Story Into a Movie
Uploaded: 2021-06-24T18:53:49.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Iliza Turned Her "Fake Yale Graduate" Story Into a Movie' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-06-24. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Iliza Turned Her "Fake Yale Graduate" Story Into a Movie' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-06-24. Transcript available.

- The Joe Rogan Experience.
- So you made a movie about the story
that you told on the podcast about a guy
who pretended that he was from Yale,
and then you found out later in your relationship
that he was not, and he was completely full of shit.
- Yeah, I told that story on your podcast
a couple years ago, and I was trying to think
if that was the first time I'd ever been on your podcast
in this iteration, like as the huge
Joe Rogan Experience podcast.
I couldn't remember if I'd been on it before,
prior to that.
- I think you had.
- I think so too, but I think, I was like,
that would be the perfect bookend to this story,
'cause the first time I told it in its totality was here,
and then here I am and I've made this movie.
- It's such a crazy story.
The fact that the guy, that that really was what he was doing,
he was just completely lying about his background
and who he was, but it worked for a little while.
- Well, you know, so I remember when I told the story,
and of course the feedback's all like,
dumb bitch, what's wrong?
Why is there a woman talking about anything?
And so I was just like, okay, I gotta be careful in the way
that I parse out this narrative.
And my answer is, you know, there's red flags
that we're taught to think about.
You know, you're walking down the street in New York City,
and someone gives you a look, you got red flags, right?
You're at a, you're doing a business deal, there's red flags.
In a relationship, you know, because of music and TV,
we're all thought to think about cheating, right?
And lying in that way.
I meet you randomly, and in the first five minutes, I'm like,
where'd you go to school? What do you do?
I wouldn't, I don't wanna be the kind of person
that has a radar up, because these weren't lies like,
I'm the king of Spain, I have a fleet of yachts
at my disposal.
It was like, I went to Yale, just like my cousin did,
and I do hedge funds.
Like, okay.
- So normal.
- And that's how these kind of people get by,
and so these weren't things.
- You met this guy on a plane, right?
- An airplane, an airplane.
As if there's a different, just a grassy plane.
Specifically an airplane.
Not a hydroplane.
- So you were heading to a gig, he was sitting next to you?
- I was coming over Thanksgiving.
- Oh.
- I was just, my family, some of them were on the East Coast,
and I, my big thing as a con, like I always,
my whole career, I spend the money on the travel.
Like, that's a great investment.
Like, buy that first class ticket.
I mean, you travel so much.
I'm like, that's where the money goes.
And you're usually sitting next to someone
who looks like your dad in first class.
It's seldom that I, and this was,
I was probably 29 at the time, 28, 29.
Seldom you're sitting next to someone around your age,
you know, and here's a guy.
And so we just start talking,
'cause we're around the same age.
And we just got along, super, he was funny,
he was dorky, but smart, like just a cool guy.
And I, he had a girlfriend,
and I had a boy picking me up at the airport,
and I think we exchanged like Twitter handles.
Like, this wasn't like a salacious,
like, give me your details.
And I was like, if you and your girlfriend
ever wanna come to a show, you know,
you're a comic, you get it, like comedy store.
I get paid the same way either way,
so come on down to the store.
But we became friends.
And what made it easy was,
when you're a comic, you keep such odd hours.
Like, how many times have you eaten dinner
at like one in the morning and you're like,
I do all for protein, I have to eat late at night.
- I usually don't eat at night.
- All right, cool, I intermittent fast too.
- That's what I do.
- On it.
- I like how you do my voice.
- On it.
I think it's just my generic beefy guy.
That could be you.
- That could be me, bro.
- What you don't understand is that it's just a structure
within a democracy, which is a man-made construct.
- Whoa.
- Is that good?
- It's not bad.
- It's not bad.
- It's not bad.
- I'd have to...
- It's bro talk.
That's like bro politics.
- It's bro time.
- Bro intelligent talk.
- Yeah.
- So what did this guy actually do?
What was his actual job?
- He worked at a hedge fund.
And I mean, who checks that?
Would a person who works at a hedge fund
know the difference between a club headliner
and a theater headliner?
Like there's like, okay, that sounds really boring.
And whatever.
I get that that's with numbers and money.
- But he went to a college.
- You went to a college.
Just not that one.
- Just lied about Yale.
- Right.
That's what I found out later.
- Work at a hedge fund.
- Yeah, but I think it was like super low level.
Like he made it like, oh, I'm starting my own business.
And you know, you're 29 years old.
You're sitting in a first class seat
and you're dressed like a dork.
And you're talking about, why wouldn't I believe you?
I have plenty of friends who are successful at things other than standup and
most, you know, so...
- My point was that if he just was himself and he just said, I'm working at a
hedge fund and was the same guy, just as funny, you'd probably like him.
- That is, you completely keyed in on it.
The whole takeaway from the movie is all the things that he didn't lie about
were the things that I actually valued the most.
He was, you cannot fake intelligence.
You cannot fake sense of humor.
- Right.
- You cannot fake wit.
- Right.
And he had those.
- He had those things.
He was unattractive, which is probably a big source of his insecurity and
whatever else society put on him.
But that was the sad part was, I wasn't that impressed by going to a good
school and having a job I've never heard of.
- Right.
- Hey, you just said, like, I went to this regular school and I do this.
I still would have said, come to the comedy store.
I still would have had drinks.
So that's a, it's not a shame because I really am into my husband and the way
that that worked out.
But that's the weird, the sad part is that we put, rather than just be good at
something, someone just like lied and built a whole world around it.
- Have you kept in touch with that guy?
- Oh yeah.
We hang out all the time.
- No.
Oh my God.
- No, but I mean.
- So gross.
- No, I mean, he's never reached out and said, Hey, I heard that story.
- No.
- Nothing.
- I, uh, no.
- How long did you date him for?
- Only three months.
We were friends for a full year, which is why it kind, it, you don't question
your friends as much.
- Right.
- And here's someone that always showed up.
The dudes in my group, like all the comics that you know that I'm friends, like
they've all met him.
Like we go out drinking and my schedule is so weird.
So I'd be like, I need to get dinner at like 11.
He'd be down for it.
I was like, great.
This has got a malleable schedule.
And we were friends for that year.
I have best friends in LA and I've been to their apartment twice.
- Right.
- In 15 years.
So you're not, um, checking on things because I just take it.
- It's normal.
- At face value where you live and stuff like that.
And to be honest, the, the closer we became his friends, the more he liked, he
was like, look,
I really like you.
And we would always, you know, you're in your twenties.
So you're going out drinking.
I never wanted to go to his house.
Like he would meet me at my condo and we would go, or my friends would come
over because I was like,
there's no reason if you know that, if I know you like me and I don't like you,
there's no reason for me to go to your house.
Like you want to keep on neutral territory.
- Yeah.
- I'm not afraid of my physical safety, but in terms of messaging, I think that's
a little like,
I don't like you, but I'll get drunk and hang out in your room.
We're not doing that.
I got a house.
- Smart.
- There's a bar.
- Right.
- Right.
- And I was very honest the whole time.
I'm like, I'm just not there yet.
And I do go on dates.
- I like how you said yet though.
It's like, ooh, so you're saying there's a chance.
- That was, I think I was just thinking about the movie.
- Dumb and dumber?
- So you're saying there's a chance, which is how guys think.
- Yeah.
- But I was very honest.
- Very honest.
- In being like, look, I-
- But there was a chance because you wound up getting together with them.
- Yeah, but I didn't see it that way.
That's like-
- Ah, but you get it?
- I mean, you're talking about an eventuality that no one could foresee.
- Except him.
- Because I was dating other people.
- Right.
- Right, consistency was key.
- But that's why dudes will hang out in that friend zone.
- I hear that and I would always say,
I'm not into you.
In fact, I'm going on a date tonight.
But by the way, if you can't handle that and you don't want to be my friend,
that's okay.
I would give him these out.
- Right.
- And the truth is, I wasn't into him.
We were very close as friends.
And then one day he told me his mom had cancer.
- Oh, I remember this part.
- Right.
So as a human and as a woman, you know, like there's a vulnerability that he
cried.
Probably thinking about, he's probably crying about what a good liar he is, but
like-
- His mom didn't really have cancer.
- No.
- Yeah, that's what's fucked up.
I remember this.
- And I met her-
- I forgot that part of it.
- I met her.
We had just so like, you know, my heart opened up and you can't, as a woman,
you can become,
this is my big thing.
You can become attracted to a man who are physically not attracted to because
of personality.
Men, it doesn't work.
Joe, you've never been like, that girl is a warthog, but it turns out she's
really funny.
So I do want to put my mouth on hers.
Like you've never in your life been like, but she got a great personality.
- But girls do.
- It's just, we're cerebral, you know, and men are very visual.
And so it was all the kindness, how smart, how funny, all this stuff.
Mom got cancer.
I'm like, oh my God, I need to be there for this person who's been nothing but
kind to me as a human.
And my heart opened up, whatever.
And I met her.
It was around the holidays.
And so we, yeah, because we met in November and this was, I remember I was
going like Christmas craft
shopping and we met at like a craft store and she was there.
And I'd never, you know, she has cancer.
And he said, she's very sick.
So I didn't want to be indelicate.
I didn't want to be like, how's your cancer, Susan?
You know?
So I remember asking her like, how are you feeling?
And of course this woman's like feeling fine.
Why?
Have you heard otherwise?
- Oh God.
- And we only talked for like a half hour, you know?
And I remember at the time thinking like, oh, this is a guy that I really like.
And I, if she's going to die, I want her to know that her, her son is with
someone who's kind.
I remember thinking that.
- Wow.
- Because.
- That's so heavy.
- It's so heavy.
And I didn't find out that she didn't have the cancer until after I realized
all the lies and
I'd broken off.
- Oh my God.
- I ran into some mutual friends and I was like, I just, you know, he's a
fucking loser.
- He must be literally insane.
That's an insane person.
- He's an insane person, but also the story is so insane.
And you so have to tread lightly as a woman because people find fault no matter
what you do.
Like, I remember someone saying like, well, you're a gold digger.
And I was like, how's that now?
Like I've made a bunch of my own money since I was like 25.
- You can't pay attention to that.
- No, but it opened my eyes up to the perception just of when you tell a story
that's so honest,
the feedback that you get and you're like, okay, let me control this narrative.
So that's why in the movie, she's not some struggle.
I put her as like a mostly successful to show like, this doesn't like she
needed anything.
- Right.
- And a lot of articles are like, she was so strong.
It's like, no, no, she just didn't wake up and die.
- I wonder what other lies that guy, because that's not a guy who's done that
for the first time.
Like if someone's lying about their mom having cancer.
- Oh my God.
- It's such a crazy lie.
- Such bad karma.
- But what a, what bad energy to go through life like that.
It's like the momentum of all those lies must be like inescapable.
Like how does one stop and become an honest person when you're lying about that
many things
and intimate things like your mother, the person who gave life to you.
You're lying and saying that she has cancer so that a girl will like you more.
- Yeah.
- It's really insane.
- Super beta.
- And it's, well, it's, it's a pattern.
That's a strange pattern because like what makes people lie, you know?
- Uh, feeling insufficient, you know, feeling that you, and this is for better
or for worse,
we hold men to a certain standard in our society.
I'm not excusing this behavior.
I'm just saying, you know, men who don't want to be sensitive or don't want to
cry or are afraid
to show vulnerability because we have this like macho archetype.
Most women don't actually expect that and they want you to be yourself and open
up and, but we do,
just as we put things on women, we do put things on men and we don't have
conversations about that.
The difference is men don't realize like, all you got to do is go out.
I talk about this on stage and like, just be good at something.
And there will be a girl who will like ride or die with you in your Toyota
passenger seat.
Like that's my baby.
He's the best mustache grower.
Like be, all these comics that we're talking about, they all fuck.
Funny guys, fuck.
So you can just be funny.
You don't have to be attractive.
You could just be kind.
You could just be good at like magic, the gathering.
There's a girl that's cool with it.
But some people just think if I posture and I lie, I'll get the kind of girl I
deserve.
- Don't you think it's also that kind of like financial world?
Like the financial world is very much about.
- Filled with sociopaths.
- There's a lot of that.
- Sure.
- But it's all about like, what kind of car do you drive?
What kind of watch do you have?
Where's your, where's your house?
You know, what, how much money are you making?
How much did you make last year?
What's your, what's your end goal?
- So those archetypes, like that patina of a person, right?
Like you have to be the, what's his name?
An American psycho.
- Yeah, Bateman.
- Patrick Bateman.
Having to be that.
And the whole movie is about that expectation.
Uh, the business card, things like that.
I mean, I didn't include, he told me he was in Skull and Bones.
- Oh Christ.
- And I remember thinking like, I don't know, that's a pretty, that's a pretty
big secret.
People, and he invited me.
He's like, I'm going to London for like a reunion, like an event.
Do you want to come?
And I was like, sort of, but I do need my own room.
Like, I'm not going to share a room with you.
And then of course he ended up not going.
- Of course.
- But there are things where they're so out of my room.
Like I am not in Skull and Bones and it seems so foreign.
So you fit the bill.
I guess you could be.
- I think, wouldn't you think he'd be more successful if he was in Skull and Bones?
Isn't that one of those things where you're connected to all those?
- Well, how do you gauge how successful someone is?
By their car?
Because he drove a really nice car.
- Did he?
And I never saw his house and he dressed well and he spoke like.
- Oh, okay.
So you thought he was very successful.
- I just, he presented as a kid that I went to school with.
- But he obviously was kind of doing well if he did work for a hedge fund,
right?
- Anyone can, they will let almost anyone sign a lease to a car.
- Nice car.
What kind of car was it?
- It was like an Audi.
I couldn't tell you what kind.
- Was it a nice car?
- It's a nice, yeah.
So.
- Doing pretty good?
- I guess so.
But I also like wasn't so impressed.
Like I had my own condo.
- You don't give a fuck anyway.
If a guy had a Porsche and he lived in a mansion.
- My husband drives a Mazda and I drive a Honda Civic hybrid that I won on last
comic standing.
- You still have that fucking car?
- That's how we flex.
- You still have that fucking car?
- I love it.
- Wow.
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Iliza Turned Her "Fake Yale Graduate" Story Into a Movie

- The Joe Rogan Experience.
- So you made a movie about the story
that you told on the podcast about a guy
who pretended that he was from Yale,
and then you found out later in your relationship
that he was not, and he was completely full of shit.
- Yeah, I told that story on your podcast
a couple years ago, and I was trying to think
if that was the first time I'd ever been on your podcast
in this iteration, like as the huge
Joe Rogan Experience podcast.
I couldn't remember if I'd been on it before,
prior to that.
- I think you had.
- I think so too, but I think, I was like,
that would be the perfect bookend to this story,
'cause the first time I told it in its totality was here,
and then here I am and I've made this movie.
- It's such a crazy story.
The fact that the guy, that that really was what he was doing,
he was just completely lying about his background
and who he was, but it worked for a little while.
- Well, you know, so I remember when I told the story,
and of course the feedback's all like,
dumb bitch, what's wrong?
Why is there a woman talking about anything?
And so I was just like, okay, I gotta be careful in the way
that I parse out this narrative.
And my answer is, you know, there's red flags
that we're taught to think about.
You know, you're walking down the street in New York City,
and someone gives you a look, you got red flags, right?
You're at a, you're doing a business deal, there's red flags.
In a relationship, you know, because of music and TV,
we're all thought to think about cheating, right?
And lying in that way.
I meet you randomly, and in the first five minutes, I'm like,
where'd you go to school? What do you do?
I wouldn't, I don't wanna be the kind of person
that has a radar up, because these weren't lies like,
I'm the king of Spain, I have a fleet of yachts
at my disposal.
It was like, I went to Yale, just like my cousin did,
and I do hedge funds.
Like, okay.
- So normal.
- And that's how these kind of people get by,
and so these weren't things.
- You met this guy on a plane, right?
- An airplane, an airplane.
As if there's a different, just a grassy plane.
Specifically an airplane.
Not a hydroplane.
- So you were heading to a gig, he was sitting next to you?
- I was coming over Thanksgiving.
- Oh.
- I was just, my family, some of them were on the East Coast,
and I, my big thing as a con, like I always,
my whole career, I spend the money on the travel.
Like, that's a great investment.
Like, buy that first class ticket.
I mean, you travel so much.
I'm like, that's where the money goes.
And you're usually sitting next to someone
who looks like your dad in first class.
It's seldom that I, and this was,
I was probably 29 at the time, 28, 29.
Seldom you're sitting next to someone around your age,
you know, and here's a guy.
And so we just start talking,
'cause we're around the same age.
And we just got along, super, he was funny,
he was dorky, but smart, like just a cool guy.
And I, he had a girlfriend,
and I had a boy picking me up at the airport,
and I think we exchanged like Twitter handles.
Like, this wasn't like a salacious,
like, give me your details.
And I was like, if you and your girlfriend
ever wanna come to a show, you know,
you're a comic, you get it, like comedy store.
I get paid the same way either way,
so come on down to the store.
But we became friends.
And what made it easy was,
when you're a comic, you keep such odd hours.
Like, how many times have you eaten dinner
at like one in the morning and you're like,
I do all for protein, I have to eat late at night.
- I usually don't eat at night.
- All right, cool, I intermittent fast too.
- That's what I do.
- On it.
- I like how you do my voice.
- On it.
I think it's just my generic beefy guy.
That could be you.
- That could be me, bro.
- What you don't understand is that it's just a structure
within a democracy, which is a man-made construct.
- Whoa.
- Is that good?
- It's not bad.
- It's not bad.
- It's not bad.
- I'd have to...
- It's bro talk.
That's like bro politics.
- It's bro time.
- Bro intelligent talk.
- Yeah.
- So what did this guy actually do?
What was his actual job?
- He worked at a hedge fund.
And I mean, who checks that?
Would a person who works at a hedge fund
know the difference between a club headliner
and a theater headliner?
Like there's like, okay, that sounds really boring.
And whatever.
I get that that's with numbers and money.
- But he went to a college.
- You went to a college.
Just not that one.
- Just lied about Yale.
- Right.
That's what I found out later.
- Work at a hedge fund.
- Yeah, but I think it was like super low level.
Like he made it like, oh, I'm starting my own business.
And you know, you're 29 years old.
You're sitting in a first class seat
and you're dressed like a dork.
And you're talking about, why wouldn't I believe you?
I have plenty of friends who are successful at things other than standup and
most, you know, so...
- My point was that if he just was himself and he just said, I'm working at a
hedge fund and was the same guy, just as funny, you'd probably like him.
- That is, you completely keyed in on it.
The whole takeaway from the movie is all the things that he didn't lie about
were the things that I actually valued the most.
He was, you cannot fake intelligence.
You cannot fake sense of humor.
- Right.
- You cannot fake wit.
- Right.
And he had those.
- He had those things.
He was unattractive, which is probably a big source of his insecurity and
whatever else society put on him.
But that was the sad part was, I wasn't that impressed by going to a good
school and having a job I've never heard of.
- Right.
- Hey, you just said, like, I went to this regular school and I do this.
I still would have said, come to the comedy store.
I still would have had drinks.
So that's a, it's not a shame because I really am into my husband and the way
that that worked out.
But that's the weird, the sad part is that we put, rather than just be good at
something, someone just like lied and built a whole world around it.
- Have you kept in touch with that guy?
- Oh yeah.
We hang out all the time.
- No.
Oh my God.
- No, but I mean.
- So gross.
- No, I mean, he's never reached out and said, Hey, I heard that story.
- No.
- Nothing.
- I, uh, no.
- How long did you date him for?
- Only three months.
We were friends for a full year, which is why it kind, it, you don't question
your friends as much.
- Right.
- And here's someone that always showed up.
The dudes in my group, like all the comics that you know that I'm friends, like
they've all met him.
Like we go out drinking and my schedule is so weird.
So I'd be like, I need to get dinner at like 11.
He'd be down for it.
I was like, great.
This has got a malleable schedule.
And we were friends for that year.
I have best friends in LA and I've been to their apartment twice.
- Right.
- In 15 years.
So you're not, um, checking on things because I just take it.
- It's normal.
- At face value where you live and stuff like that.
And to be honest, the, the closer we became his friends, the more he liked, he
was like, look,
I really like you.
And we would always, you know, you're in your twenties.
So you're going out drinking.
I never wanted to go to his house.
Like he would meet me at my condo and we would go, or my friends would come
over because I was like,
there's no reason if you know that, if I know you like me and I don't like you,
there's no reason for me to go to your house.
Like you want to keep on neutral territory.
- Yeah.
- I'm not afraid of my physical safety, but in terms of messaging, I think that's
a little like,
I don't like you, but I'll get drunk and hang out in your room.
We're not doing that.
I got a house.
- Smart.
- There's a bar.
- Right.
- Right.
- And I was very honest the whole time.
I'm like, I'm just not there yet.
And I do go on dates.
- I like how you said yet though.
It's like, ooh, so you're saying there's a chance.
- That was, I think I was just thinking about the movie.
- Dumb and dumber?
- So you're saying there's a chance, which is how guys think.
- Yeah.
- But I was very honest.
- Very honest.
- In being like, look, I-
- But there was a chance because you wound up getting together with them.
- Yeah, but I didn't see it that way.
That's like-
- Ah, but you get it?
- I mean, you're talking about an eventuality that no one could foresee.
- Except him.
- Because I was dating other people.
- Right.
- Right, consistency was key.
- But that's why dudes will hang out in that friend zone.
- I hear that and I would always say,
I'm not into you.
In fact, I'm going on a date tonight.
But by the way, if you can't handle that and you don't want to be my friend,
that's okay.
I would give him these out.
- Right.
- And the truth is, I wasn't into him.
We were very close as friends.
And then one day he told me his mom had cancer.
- Oh, I remember this part.
- Right.
So as a human and as a woman, you know, like there's a vulnerability that he
cried.
Probably thinking about, he's probably crying about what a good liar he is, but
like-
- His mom didn't really have cancer.
- No.
- Yeah, that's what's fucked up.
I remember this.
- And I met her-
- I forgot that part of it.
- I met her.
We had just so like, you know, my heart opened up and you can't, as a woman,
you can become,
this is my big thing.
You can become attracted to a man who are physically not attracted to because
of personality.
Men, it doesn't work.
Joe, you've never been like, that girl is a warthog, but it turns out she's
really funny.
So I do want to put my mouth on hers.
Like you've never in your life been like, but she got a great personality.
- But girls do.
- It's just, we're cerebral, you know, and men are very visual.
And so it was all the kindness, how smart, how funny, all this stuff.
Mom got cancer.
I'm like, oh my God, I need to be there for this person who's been nothing but
kind to me as a human.
And my heart opened up, whatever.
And I met her.
It was around the holidays.
And so we, yeah, because we met in November and this was, I remember I was
going like Christmas craft
shopping and we met at like a craft store and she was there.
And I'd never, you know, she has cancer.
And he said, she's very sick.
So I didn't want to be indelicate.
I didn't want to be like, how's your cancer, Susan?
You know?
So I remember asking her like, how are you feeling?
And of course this woman's like feeling fine.
Why?
Have you heard otherwise?
- Oh God.
- And we only talked for like a half hour, you know?
And I remember at the time thinking like, oh, this is a guy that I really like.
And I, if she's going to die, I want her to know that her, her son is with
someone who's kind.
I remember thinking that.
- Wow.
- Because.
- That's so heavy.
- It's so heavy.
And I didn't find out that she didn't have the cancer until after I realized
all the lies and
I'd broken off.
- Oh my God.
- I ran into some mutual friends and I was like, I just, you know, he's a
fucking loser.
- He must be literally insane.
That's an insane person.
- He's an insane person, but also the story is so insane.
And you so have to tread lightly as a woman because people find fault no matter
what you do.
Like, I remember someone saying like, well, you're a gold digger.
And I was like, how's that now?
Like I've made a bunch of my own money since I was like 25.
- You can't pay attention to that.
- No, but it opened my eyes up to the perception just of when you tell a story
that's so honest,
the feedback that you get and you're like, okay, let me control this narrative.
So that's why in the movie, she's not some struggle.
I put her as like a mostly successful to show like, this doesn't like she
needed anything.
- Right.
- And a lot of articles are like, she was so strong.
It's like, no, no, she just didn't wake up and die.
- I wonder what other lies that guy, because that's not a guy who's done that
for the first time.
Like if someone's lying about their mom having cancer.
- Oh my G