Name: Joe Rogan Experience #1681 - Brian Simpson
Uploaded: 2021-07-12T00:00:00.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1681 - Brian Simpson' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-07-12. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1681 - Brian Simpson' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-07-12. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #1681 - Brian Simpson

Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out.
The Joe Rogan Experience.
Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day.
Hello, Brian Simpson.
What's going on, man?
Good to see you, my friend.
Hell yeah.
What's happening?
I'm chilling, man.
I'm just living my best life.
That's the thing that a lot of people say, and they don't really mean it.
But I believe you.
I mean that shit.
I believe you.
Yeah.
Last night was fun, right?
Hell yeah.
Those shows at Vulcan are lit.
That was a good-ass crowd, man.
They're real good.
Always good crowds there.
It's a good spot, too, because everybody's on top of you.
You're just in the mix of everything.
Once they shortened that stage, remember how they had the double stage and they
knocked it down?
Yeah, yeah.
Well, I like every—I find it as I'm going around more and more.
It's almost like Zaney's in Nashville.
Any club that has a little people up above you, I love that shit.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, any time they're just stuffed in on top of you.
Like, one of the best clubs I ever worked at was the Comedy Connection in
Boston.
Not the one in Fania Hall, but the old one, the original one.
It was—I mean, it maybe sat 150 people, but they were stuffed into this room
with, like, a low ceiling.
And it was magic, man.
You would kill, and it was so contagious.
The laughter was so contagious.
Yeah.
Because everybody was just smushed on top of each other.
Where'd you start?
I started comedy in San Diego.
Really?
Yeah.
At La Jolla?
Where'd you go?
No, no.
I started—I started on a club called The Mad House.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
I heard of that place.
Diaz used to do that place.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It was, like, started by comics or a comic, and it was just one of those places
where I got lucky right away.
They started giving me a lot of stage time.
I started—because I started right when they opened.
Were you from San Diego?
Nah, but I got stationed there a long time ago, and I went back there to go to
school, and that's where I just chose to start.
What branch of the military are you in?
Marine Corps.
And so you—did you always know you wanted to be a comic?
Like, where did it come from?
Nah.
I just—I kept being told to do that.
Like, I—I tell the story all the time, but I was the—I was the only black
person in my platoon for a couple of years.
And before I got there, some racial shit went down, and they, like, you know,
somebody—an officer got removed, and they took black people all out of the
unit.
And I was the first black person back in the unit.
And I didn't know none of this.
And then—and then I got the damn—you know, I could feel everyone, like,
walking on eggshells around me.
And one day, my warrant officer asked me, like, hey, how you doing?
You know?
He's like, is everybody treating you?
And I was like, well, sir, everybody's fucking acting weird.
Like, you know, I can hear—I can hear conversations hush up when I come in a
room.
I can—you can feel people, like, editing themselves and shit.
Uh-huh.
And then he told me what happened.
And, uh—and I realized, like, this can't work.
So I told everybody, hey, just say whatever you want to say.
Don't worry about if you offend me, because if you do, I'm just going to try to
hurt your feelings, too.
You know, like, I'm going to say what I want, and you say what you want, and I'm
going to win most of those.
You know?
And then I—so then I sort of had, like, a little more leeway than everybody
else to speak my mind.
Right.
And so every now and then I would say some shit that I knew everybody was
thinking but nobody could say but me, and people would laugh.
And that's when I started realizing, like, oh, I can make—I can do this.
Like, just me complaining is funny.
So you had no thoughts, like, one day I want to be a stand-up comedian.
It was sort of introduced into your head by that?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like, I started getting laughs all the time.
Like, all the time.
And those friends were the ones that started being like, you should do fucking
comedy.
You know?
And that's when I started wanting to do it.
And what year did you get on stage first?
2011.
How much did you think about it before you did it?
How long?
Did you, like, write it out?
Did you practice?
I think I wrote my first joke in, like, 2005.
Oh, wow.
And I waited six years to get on stage.
Wow.
So it was brewing in your head.
Oh, yeah.
It was brewing and brewing and brewing.
But, you know, because you have that thing where you're afraid to go after
something like that.
Because at the time I was in school, and it's like, am I really going to give
up my safe plan for a pipe dream?
And it's like, yeah, I think so.
Dude, this whiskey is good.
What is this shit?
Yeah, this shit's smooth.
It's called, is this the stuff that...
I think it's more scotch.
Yes.
But is this...
Who brought us this?
I'm trying to remember.
It was only a couple weeks ago, too.
Was it Eliza?
It might have been Eliza.
It may have been with that other...
I don't remember, though.
Maybe.
It's called Lafro...
A-I-C?
Lafroig?
I used to say that.
Lafraig?
Lafraig?
Lafraig?
Irish single malt scotch whiskey, age 10 years.
It's real shit, though.
It's got...
It's peaty, right?
It's probably...
It tastes like...
It's got that...
Lafroig.
There you go.
Lafroig.
Lafroig.
It's got that peaty taste.
Is that the right word?
It doesn't taste like any whiskey I've ever tasted.
It's good.
But it's good.
I like it a lot.
It's legit.
There's a lot of good whiskey out there.
That's one of the things about this podcast.
They found out that I like whiskey, so I got sent a whole shitload of whiskey.
Have you tried them all?
I've tried basically all of them, yeah.
Buffalo Trace is a sponsor.
They're the shit.
That's my favorite in that it's the oldest company that I've ever even heard of.
They're from 1773.
Really?
Yeah, they started making whiskey before there was a country.
The United States wasn't even fully formed yet.
Damn, how come they're not more popular?
Buffalo Trace?
They're pretty popular.
But they're like, you know, like super hardcore about their aging.
Like, that's aged eight years.
And then this shit is 10 years.
This Lafroig.
How do you say it?
Lafroig.
Lafroig.
Lafroig.
Lafroig.
Lafroig.
Like a frog with a Y.
Lafroig.
Still Austin's another company that sent us a batch of shit.
It's really good.
Really good stuff.
Yeah, I feel like every time I see you is a different kind of whiskey.
Yeah, I decided I like alcohol that I know it's alcohol.
Like, I don't mind a nice fruity drink.
I don't mind a pina colada.
But I like when you drink whiskey, you know what the fuck you're getting into.
You know?
You drink it, you're like, yikes.
Yeah, you're like, you're drinking a tree.
That tastes like a tree.
So it tastes, it's got a kick, you know?
It's like, I like things with a really spicy hot sauce.
I like stuff with kicks, you know?
Yeah, I'm a fan.
I mean, I'm not a fan.
I don't want the shit to be spicy for no reason.
Oh, okay.
Where it's, like, you know, I got friends, we used to play this shit called, or
they used
to play this shit called, like, Hot Wing Roulette.
Oh, like that show Hot Ones?
Something like that, except we would, like, go to Hooters or something and get,
like,
get, like, 25 or 20 regular wings, and then get five of, like, the crazy,
shitty ones that
you got to sign away before, and then mix them all together.
Oh, so you don't know.
Right, and so, and then I get to pick which wing you have to eat.
So I go, eat that one.
And so it's just to see who's going to get the fucking, the shitty one.
The death one.
Yeah.
There used to be a place near Boston Comedy in New York City, back when Boston
Comedy
was in the village, there was a place, a wing place.
I'm trying to remember the place.
I'm trying to remember the name of it, but I do remember that they had wings
that were
labeled suicide.
They were so strong.
They were so hot.
Like, you had all these different levels that you could choose, and one of them
was suicide,
and I used to get those suicide wings every time I worked there.
No, that's crazy.
They were ridiculous.
They were so hot.
It hurts.
Yeah.
And then it burns your asshole later.
No, that doesn't happen with me.
I don't get the asshole burn, but I do get the tongue numbing, where your
tongue is like,
oh, oh.
But I like it.
I like real spicy.
Dude, am I?
Yeah, the shooting star.
Oh, man, you got to warn motherfuckers about that.
Bro, I thought, I was like, what was in that edible?
Was that shrooms?
I thought I was watching, okay.
Yeah, it's like a Rolls-Royce has one of those in their ceiling.
No, that's cool.
Some Rolls-Royces, right?
Which one is it?
The Phantom?
Maybe all of them.
I don't know.
How do you feel about the Olympics banning Sha'Carri Richardson?
100% horseshit.
First of all, I think the Olympics are disgusting because that lady should be
getting paid millions
of dollars.
All of them should be getting paid millions of dollars.
All the winners of the gold medals, all those people that are generating insane
amounts of
wealth for the Olympics, they should get a giant piece of that.
They're responsible for the reason why people are watching the Olympics.
No one is watching the Olympics because it's the Olympics.
They're watching the Olympics because you see the best athletes on the world,
right?
You see the best athletes who have gone through all these competitions and
reached this insane
pinnacle of their skill development, right?
And they're getting nothing.
They're getting zero.
And the whole world's watching.
And they're selling crazy advertisement.
And that money's being generated and the networks are making it and the IOC is
making it and
all these other people are making it.
And the athletes, the whole reason people are tuning in, they get nothing.
It's insane.
It's a disgusting, corrupt system.
It's gross.
And then a lot of times the cities that they move into, like once they're gone,
they fall
the fuck apart.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Well, it's a lot of times, you know, these countries, they build up this whole
thing for
the Olympics and they're incentivized and there's a lot of money that flows
into the
city and then once they pull out of that.
I mean, the people that live in that country are like, hey, why didn't you
spend that shit
on infrastructure?
Why didn't you spend that shit to fix the bridges and the streets and to, you
know, to fucking
fix these communities?
But there's no money in that.
I don't give a fuck about you.
These dirty fucks.
But I think it's infuriating that this lady who is apparently like, she's a
shoe-in for
the gold medal in the hundred meters.
She's supposed to be spectacular.
And they're not going to let her run that.
But they're going to let her run the relay.
Like, fuck you.
Oh, they're going to let her run?
Yeah.
They're going to let her.
Yeah.
Because if she doesn't run the relay, America probably doesn't win.
I mean, I don't know.
I don't know jack shit about track and field.
I think she's kept off.
What?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What do you mean?
Exclusion from the relay team.
Yeah, I saw that last night.
Oh, this is new?
Mm-hmm.
She's not on the team.
But for weed, though.
For weed.
It's so dumb.
It's so dumb.
For weed.
It's so dumb.
Look, if they caught her doing steroids or EPO, okay.
I get it.
Okay.
But man, there was a lot of people accusing her of steroids.
There was like a lot of people accusing her of a conspiracy.
So the reason why she smoked weed was so that she could get caught for weed and
not get
caught for steroids.
Like, I was reading this.
I'm like, people can't just look at things for what they are.
Everyone has to look at things with this conspiracy theory lens.
Yeah.
I mean, that's just idiots.
Yeah.
Like, people that peddle in conspiracies and rumors, it's a substitute for
doing the work
to become actually intelligent.
You just say the opposite of what everyone's saying.
It is.
However, track and field apparently has been one of the dirtiest sports.
Like, they have been cheating from the jump.
Oh, yeah.
Apparently, like, most countries 