Name: Joe Rogan Experience #1703 - Tom Segura
Uploaded: 2021-09-07T00:00:00.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1703 - Tom Segura' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-09-07. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1703 - Tom Segura' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-09-07. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #1703 - Tom Segura

Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out.
The Joe Rogan Experience.
Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day.
My man.
Hey man.
What's up, brother?
Well, well, well.
Well, well, well.
If it isn't old, horseworm Rogan.
I'm glad you're well, man.
Bro, do I have to sue CNN?
I don't know.
I don't know, do you?
They're making shit up.
They keep saying I'm taking horse dewormer.
I literally got it from a doctor.
It's an American company.
They won the Nobel Prize in 2015 for use in human beings.
And CNN is saying I'm taking horse dewormer.
Yeah.
They must know that that's a lie.
There's a lot of people saying it.
Right, but a lot of people can say it.
Okay.
Like the internet says it, who cares?
Sure.
But CNN is saying it.
Jim Acosta.
I meant like USA Today, a few other places.
Yeah, and they're talking about ivermectin, right?
Yeah.
Because I don't know.
I just saw so much news about you.
I mean, I would talk to you and check on you and see if you're all right.
And you're like, you threw the kitchen sink at it, you said, which was stuff
that, you know,
you took IV drips and was it mono what?
Monoclonal antibodies.
And what is monoclonal antibodies?
It's the shit they gave Trump.
Okay.
Yeah.
And then what, so who said, or did you already want ivermectin?
Well, I had this guy on, Dr. Pierre Corey, and he is, what is the organization?
He's from frontline COVID critical care workers.
He's well-established doctors, treated thousands of people with COVID, and they've,
early on
the pandemic, they found some good efficacy with ivermectin, frontline 19
critical care alliance.
Okay.
Yeah.
So I had him on and, you know, he had talked to me about, it's not, he's not
the only doctor
that told me to take it.
Multiple doctors told me to take it.
It's, it's supposed to have, what is the exact thing it's supposed to do?
There's, there's something that I highlighted.
And this is obviously, I'm not a doctor.
It says, Ivermectin was found to be a blocker of viral replicas, R-E-P-L-I-C-A-S-A
protease
and, I don't know what this word is, human T-M-P-R-S-S-2, I don't know.
But what they didn't highlight is that I got better.
Yeah.
You got better quickly.
They tried to make it seem as if, like, I'm doing some wacky shit that's
completely ineffective.
Right.
CNN was saying that I'm a distributor of misinformation.
Also, that was the other thing that happened.
The, um, in Tokyo, in Japan, which is apparently, uh, they're very conservative
about the medication
that they, they use and the medications that they, uh, endorse.
But the Tokyo Medical Association chairman held a live press conference
recommending Ivermectin
to all doctors for all COVID patients.
So what's going on with the, like the, you know, it's kind of hard to figure
out what's the truth
in, in a lot of things.
But with, with regard to this, people go, it's insane to take Ivermectin.
Like you see it everywhere.
Everyone's like, this is wild.
Don't take this shit.
And then you have the head of the fucking Tokyo, whatever, medical commission
saying, take Ivermectin.
Yeah, I don't know what's going on, man.
You know, there's a lot of speculation.
One of the speculations involves the, um, emergency use authorization for the
vaccines.
That in order for there to be an emergency use authorization, there has to be
no treatment
for a disease.
Right.
So because there is this treatment in, in Ivermectin and there's other
treatments too.
Right.
Um, because of this, there's a lot of pushback against potential treatments and
pretending
that they don't really work or that they're conspiracy theories.
This is the, this is the grand conspiracy, right?
The grand conspiracy is the pharmaceutical companies are all in cahoots to try
to make
anybody who takes this stuff look crazy.
But what's crazy is look how bitter I got.
Yeah.
I got bitter pretty quick, bitch.
Let's go to like your, your whole experience.
Yeah.
So you get back from a trip, right?
And is it that night?
Do you arrive home and know, or like on your way home, you're like, I don't
feel so great.
Um, well, Saturday, here's what happened.
Friday night, we went out and got hammered.
Went out and played pool till 3.30 in the morning, had a bunch of drinks.
Had a bunch of drinks at the show.
At the show, I think I had two drinks and then I had like four afterwards.
So we're pretty lit.
And it was 3.30 in the morning, exhausted, plane travel, you know, flew that
day from,
um, I guess so Fort Lauderdale was the first show.
Then that was Tampa.
And then last show was Orlando.
Um, that night I just, I was worn out Friday night, you know, cause 3.30 in the
morning and
I was like, oh, I got a crash.
And then I woke up in the morning and I was definitely hungover, but I was also
just feeling
a little out of it.
Just a little, just a little, just not good.
It's a hard to describe.
If I had COVID, it was just like beginning stages, but I thought it was a hangover.
Right.
Which kind of confuses the way, how you can read it.
So drank a lot of water, um, ate, took a bunch of vitamins, went to sleep, got
up for
the show, felt good.
Um, no drinks that night.
Um, and then that night we flew back.
And so just feeling worn out, you know, pretty normal, but worn out.
And then when I got home, I was like, man, something just feels off.
So I told my wife, you know, you should probably, um, keep away from me.
Let me isolate.
Luckily we have a big house isolated.
And in the middle of the night I was sweating, you know, or gets fevers.
And I just, I wasn't feeling good.
And you knew it then?
I woke up in the morning.
I knew it when the morning, by the time the morning, I was like,
something's going on.
Let's see what it is.
It was 90, whatever percent sure it was COVID.
So morning I got tested, turned out positive.
And then just-
And this is Sunday?
Mm-hmm.
Sunday.
So Sunday, Sunday you're, you find out you're positive.
And then that day you bet, you feel sick, right?
You're just in bed, relaxed.
Yeah, that day, headache, sick, weak.
Do you immediately, this is what I didn't, hadn't asked you yet.
Had you, did you have a plan in place in your head for like, if I get COVID, I
would do these?
So you, so when you find out you're positive, you start reaching out for these
treatments?
Yeah, I already had it in place.
You did?
Yeah, I was already ready to go.
So, and then you start taking them that day.
Yeah, I got it.
I got all the stuff that I needed, took it that day.
And then Monday I felt pretty fucking good.
And I was taking vitamin IV drips every day.
High dose of vitamin C, vitamin D, and NAD as well.
What is the NAD stuff?
Because I hear that-
It's a good question.
Okay.
The word.
Try to, try to say the word.
Pull it up so we can just read it.
Because it's, it's very complicated.
But what NAD does is essentially it lengthens your telomeres.
Nicotinamide adenine dinucleotide.
Yes, that's it.
So it's coenzyme central to metabolism found in all living cells.
NAD is called a dinucleotide because it consists of two nucleotides joined
through their phosphate groups.
One nucleotide contains an adenine nucleobase and the other nicotinamide.
Okay.
Anyway, I've taken that stuff in the past.
Yeah.
In IV drips.
It's super uncomfortable.
It makes your guts feel like they're getting smushed.
Like you have to do it real slow.
You do it over like two hours.
For the drip?
Yeah.
Or you get really high and you can fucking blaze through it.
I hold the world record at a, not the world record.
The record that they ever had a drip hydration for someone doing it.
Yeah.
I did it in 10 minutes.
You're supposed to do it in like two hours plus.
You did it in 10 minutes that day?
No, no, no.
Oh, another time.
This time I didn't fuck around.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Because I was doing it in 10 minutes just to see how fast I could do it.
My concern when I spoke to you was just, will you please fucking rest?
That's what I texted you.
I was like, no hill runs, no fucking kettlebells and don't wrestle any fucking
cattle today.
Just rest.
I did.
And you're like, I'm going to rest.
I'm going to rest.
I rested.
I know.
I did.
I rested.
I did.
I didn't do shit but watch TV.
I actually enjoyed the first couple days because I was like, this is a nice,
like a legit,
solid excuse where I don't have to do anything.
Yes.
Which never comes up.
Right.
That was like when the pandemic started back in March last year where it was
like, no, you
have to cancel your dates.
I was like, all right, it'll be like a nice week off.
Sure.
Two weeks to slow the spread.
Yeah.
Let's fucking chill out.
Yeah.
So, but, you know, after I did this and I hit it with the NAD and the high dose
vitamin
C, I think it was 10,000 milligrams of vitamin C in the IV drip, which is like
very, it's very
effective.
It goes right into your bloodstream, right?
Yeah.
After that and the monoclonal antibodies and all the other stuff, literally on
Monday I
felt pretty fucking good.
That's, yeah.
So that's pretty, pretty fast.
Pretty fast.
Yeah.
Mine, when I got COVID, I was in like the hospital recovering from surgery.
Right.
And I thought it was the opioid withdrawals, of which they told me, they're
like, you're
going to feel like shit when you get off of these.
Like the flu, right?
Yeah.
It's exactly, they said, you're going to get emotional and you're going to feel
terrible.
And I was like, okay.
And I got off of them like on a Saturday.
I stopped taking them after like two weeks.
And then on Monday, I think it was Monday or Tuesday, I had PT and OT back to
back.
And afterwards I was like, man, I feel terrible.
What is OT?
Occupational therapy.
What's the difference?
Above the waist is kind of the way they tell you, like PT's below the waist, OT's
above
the waist.
So they were treating my knee for PT and then the OT was like the arm and hand
stuff.
And I did them back to back, like in their hour each.
And I'm all fucked up.
So they're like, yeah, of course you're tired and shit.
Like take a nap.
I slept for like three hours and they're like, God damn.
And I, and here's the thing.
No, it occurred to nobody that I had COVID.
The next day I'm like, I have diarrhea, my, my shoulders, like my traps, neck.
So achy.
I was like, oh, and they're like, yeah, he's just fucking worn out from the
therapy and
getting off of the opiates and everything.
And, and then the next day, a little better, but still shitty.
And the third day I was like, I feel better, you know?
And the fourth day I was like, I feel fine.
So that was kind of like my window.
And it was the last, the fourth day where they were like, do you want to take a
COVID test?
I was like, for what?
They're like, oh, for when you felt like shit three days ago.
And I go, yeah, okay.
And so I took the COVID test and my favorite is that they're like, uh, do you
want same
day results?
And I go, yeah.
And they go, it's expensive.
And I go, this fucking hospital stays expensive.
What are you talking about?
Like, this is thousands of dollars a day.
You think I, I don't want to spend a hundred dollars more to find out today.
So I said, yeah, let's do same day.
And then they tested at the end of the day.
I go, where's my result?
And they're like, we don't know.
So the next day I'm going home and it's, it's, it's a Saturday and they're
taking me home.
And I was like, Hey, whatever happened to my fucking COVID test?
And now I feel like totally fine.
And they go, uh, I don't know.
I'm going to call the lady that took the test.
And I was like, what the fuck?
So crazy.
So I get home, I watch a movie with my kids and the email goes ding and I open
it and it
says positive.
That's how I found out.
Did you infect the kids?
I don't know.
Really?
Yeah.
We didn't test them.
Was they just never felt it?
They were just, they were just fine.
Didn't bring it up?
Never said anything.
Yeah.
My one kid, all she got was like a minor headache and the other one, it was a
little worse,
but she's one of those kids that like, when she gets sick, she wants you to
know I'm sick.
Oh, right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
