Name: Joe Rogan Experience #1712 - Bert Kreischer Part 2
Uploaded: 2021-09-29T00:00:00.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1712 - Bert Kreischer Part 2' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-09-29. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1712 - Bert Kreischer Part 2' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-09-29. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #1712 - Bert Kreischer Part 2

I don't remember the bit either, but there's a few bits that you go as a comic.
I was just talking with Joe Coy about this, where you get inspired by the
comics, where
you go, God damn, man, I'm not working hard enough.
I'm not doing enough.
That's why it's good to see people that are really good, right?
Because you get that juice.
Just like that fuel that you get from Goggins, you get that fuel from watching
Chappelle or watching
Bill Burr.
Or watching you guys all touring and doing these big shows.
It's interesting.
It's exciting.
But we have to resist the idea of being jealous because it's so common in our
world.
Or just subtly cunty or taking shots at kings.
You know, Tom and I talk about this on Two Bears, One K that's coming up.
But like, you know, Chris Rock got so big for a while that I think people
stopped paying the
respect he deserved.
100%.
And I, and when he got COVID, I realized how, just how important Chris Rock was
to me.
Like, I'd like, just, you know, because I think Norm had just passed and I was
the biggest Norm
fan in the world.
And then Chris Rock got sick and I, and I, I did like a deep dive on my own
head of like,
just how fucking great that guy is.
Well, if you go back to like, Bigger and Blacker, or you go back to-
Bring the pain.
Bring the pain.
Bring the pain.
Bring the pain.
Those are two of the best specials of all time.
Like, if you want to look at your top 10 comedians of all time, in my opinion,
you have to have
Chris Rock in there.
Without a doubt.
Without a doubt.
There's no questions about it.
You know who's the dark horse?
Hold on.
Give me a second.
Now, I have a lot of dark horses, but I don't know-
Martin Lawrence.
Martin Lawrence in the 1990s.
So-
People forgot.
You must be crazy.
Dude.
Are you so crazy, rather?
You so crazy?
And he had like a couple other specials that were on that same level.
He had like two or three specials that were like lightning bolts.
And it's hard because you got to compare them for the time.
Like, comedy's, comedy's a weird thing, man.
Like, even like comedy movies from the 80s or 90s that you thought were the
shit, some of
them just don't hold up for whatever reason.
And stand-up comedy, a lot of it just seems different because the culture's so
different.
Because the world's so- like, everything's evolving and changing so fast.
It's hard.
But there's a few guys from the 1990s that would just obliterate.
Like, you forgot how good comics can be.
And I remember, I saw Martin Lawrence at the Comedy Store many times.
Like, seven, ten times when he was in his prime.
Somewhere around then, I remember, he would come by and just sell out the main
room.
And you would just sit there and watch him murder.
I mean murder.
I wish I'd seen that.
Falling out of chairs.
I mean, screaming in agony because they're laughing so hard.
And it was, you know, this was 1994.
Martin Lawrence was the king, dude.
I'm telling you.
The thing that Chris Rock brought, and once again, I'm-
But hold on, let me tell you something before we go any further.
Yeah.
One of the things that happened to Chris Rock was he had to follow Martin
Lawrence.
At the store?
No, no.
They did a show together.
And Chris Rock talked about it.
He talked about how it forced him to tighten up his act because he had to
follow Martin Lawrence.
And he realized, no disrespect intended, white people, he realized that he said
that he'd been playing in too many white rooms.
And he realized, like, he had gotten, like, a little bit lazy or maybe a little
slower than he should be.
Whatever.
He had developed a style that maybe wasn't-
He saw Martin crush, and then he had a hard time after him.
Yeah.
And then after that, you get some of the greatest Chris Rock performances of
all time.
After that, you get Bring the Pain.
After that, you get Bigger and Blacker.
After that, you get some of the greatest bits ever.
So he, he saw, like, we all, like, every time you've bombed, how many times,
here it goes right here.
He goes, one night in Chicago, as usual, I was the headliner, and on this night,
my opening act was an up-and-coming comic named Martin Lawrence.
Now, normally, I never used to watch the opening acts, but I was in my dressing
room and I heard a roar.
I got up to see what was going on.
I thought it was a fight or something, so I got up and went to the side of the
stage.
When I got there, I realized it wasn't a fight.
It was people laughing so hard that the building was shaking.
People were crying, standing, stomping their feet, screaming laughter.
I was terrified.
It was like watching somebody fucking your wife with a bigger dick.
That's how good Martin Lawrence was.
I followed Martin Lawrence almost every time I worked on a night with Martin
Lawrence.
Mitzi always made me follow Martin Lawrence.
I never bombed harder in my life.
With three-quarters of the audience is walking out as you're going on stage.
I mean, three-quarters.
That's how good Martin Lawrence was in the 1990s.
I'm telling you, dude.
I'm telling you.
I would watch him and I was like, this guy is, like, he's hitting some crazy RPMs.
You know if you have, like, a sports car?
Like, 8,000 RPMs is crazy.
Some of them go to nine.
Some of them go to nine.
You're like, how long can you go at that RPM?
Like, Martin Lawrence was on this wild RPM where he was crushing so hard.
But then he had a bunch of issues.
And then he had a show, Martin, and then he had a bunch of issues.
You know, he had, like, a breakdown, right?
Remember that?
I do.
But I think a lot of that comes...
Is there a stroke or something?
No, no, no, no.
I mean, maybe.
I don't know about that.
I think he had a stroke in a sweatsuit or something.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
I think he had, like, some sort of a manic attack.
And he got arrested from wearing, like, a sweatsuit.
No, no, it was, like, a wetsuit.
He fell into a coma.
He fell into a coma.
He had a stroke.
He had a stroke.
He had a stroke.
Heat exhaustion.
From heat exhaustion.
For preparing for Big Mama's house.
So he was losing weight?
Is that what he was doing with the wetsuit on?
He had to go on a ventilator.
Jesus Christ.
But didn't they think that he had some episode?
Am I making that up?
Well, his body temperature went up to 107 degrees, so something that could have...
No, I mean, like, a mental episode.
Oh, I mean, that made him think that that was a good idea to do, maybe, I think.
I don't want to judge him.
Yeah, I don't know.
Maybe we ought to edit this.
Shit!
Too much editing.
See, my thing with Martin Lawrence is...
Is that Martin Lawrence seemed like someone that was a God gift to him, right?
Like, the guy was just meant to entertain.
He was super-duper talented, but he also worked really hard, man.
But the thing with a guy like Martin Lawrence or Jay-Z, it doesn't seem like
they work hard.
Or Richard Pryor, or Eddie Griffin.
It seems like it just is what they do, you know?
Well, it's that, too.
You know, there's a lot of those just-what-they-do guys that never get to that
level.
Like, what separates a guy like that, you know, from a guy who's just a funny
dude that we
all know, that we hang around with at the store?
There's always a guy who's just, like, really good.
And they go on stage and they're really good, but they never figure out how to,
like, get
to a place like those guys.
Like, what's the difference?
Well, the difference for me, I mean, I know for a fact my difference is when I
saw Chris
Rockne talk about how he trained for a special, I was like, oh, yeah, that's-
Oh, he would bring in comics and pay them to watch his set and give them notes.
Like, he was working in collaboration with other people where he was, like, he
had, like,
a group of peers and he would throw his ideas at them and say, you know, like,
what do you
think about-
DePaulo, maybe?
It's brilliant.
DePaulo, Rich Voss, Richard Jenney was a big one.
There was a thing that happened.
Oh, it says, Lawrence ran into traffic in Los Angeles, screaming and acting
like a madman.
That's what I remember.
Loaded firearm?
Okay, according to-
Yes, that's right.
Big Mama's House actor also had a loaded firearm in his possession.
Lawrence was removed from the scene by law enforcement and hospitalized.
Martin was yelling, fight, you know, don't give up, fight the power, or
something like
that.
A witness told KCOW he was shouting some obscenities or something.
Maybe he's just doing his act.
Maybe he's working on a bit.
Yeah.
Anyway.
I'm a Martin Lawrence fan, up and down.
Listen, dude, I'm telling you, I am too, but I just think it's hard to be that
good.
I think there's something about being that good as a guitarist or something to
be about
good as a tennis player or a bike ride or whatever the fuck you are.
I was just talking to a friend of mine about Tour de France and about Lance
Armstrong.
Like, how crazy you have to be to be that good.
Like, to be that good against other people who are just like you.
Like, you have to be so goddamn driven that you're better than all these other
insanely driven
motherfuckers.
Like, you're dealing with, like, insane RPMs, man.
Fucking insane.
Insane.
Insane.
But that's the case with anybody who's really good at anything.
And I think with a guy like Martin Lawrence, I'm telling you, dude, he was so
good in the
90s.
Like, how long can you keep that up?
How long can you be that good?
Yeah, I don't know if, and I don't know if there was a track record for that.
I don't think anyone looked at, like, the longevity.
Well, Pryor was the only guy that had, like, a real longevity that was a wild
man.
You know, Pryor was a guy who lit himself on fire.
Jesus.
Pryor was a guy who, you know, had heart attacks and did bits about it and did
crazy amounts
of cocaine and, you know, free-based.
I mean, Pryor had, but he still was around for quite a long time, man.
So, wait, here's my question, then.
So, like, I know my heroes.
My heroes are always the flawed dudes, like Pryor, Belushi, Farley, John Daly.
Like, the guys that are just, the golfer, by the way.
But, like, the guys are always flawed.
Knowing, I know one of the things you do is really important to you is being
disciplined.
Who are your heroes?
It's like a weird word, right?
Because it's like, who do, it's, I prefer to say, like, who do I admire?
You know, and I admire people all, I think it's, it's one of those things, like,
if you
want to try your best to be a balanced person, you got to investigate all the
different aspects
of your interests and your personality.
So, like, you got to, I try to, I have, like, I have a lot of heroes, if you
wanted to look
at it as, like, people that I really admire, that I think are, that elevate me
when I listen
to them or pay attention to them or elevate other people or provide a much-needed
service
to the world or are an unusual voice.
There's a lot of people that I know that are these insanely unique voices, Sam
Harris is
one of those, Brett Weinstein is one of those, Eric Weinstein is one of those,
there's a lot
of them, I can keep going forever, but they're unique people that bring a
perspective that
I go, oh, wow, like, now I can see things in a light that I didn't see before.
But I feel like, as a person, it's important to encounter all sorts of
different perspectives,
like, the pacifist perspective as well as the warrior's perspective.
I want to talk to a person who doesn't even want to eat meat, they don't want
to eat plants,
they want to eat just fruit because they know that doesn't kill the plant.
Like, there's people that literally live off fruit.
I want to talk to them as much as I want to talk to the people that only eat
meat.
But the people that only eat meat seem like more interesting.
It's an interesting, yeah, fucking...
They have more energy.
They can get through the day.
They're dying.
I don't know if you should only eat fruit, but my point is, like, I want to
talk to as
many fucking humans as possible that give me more insight, not just to them,
but also
to me.
I think the more weird