Name: Bert's Appreciation for John Daly
Uploaded: 2021-09-29T17:49:09.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bert's Appreciation for John Daly' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-09-29. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bert's Appreciation for John Daly' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-09-29. Transcript available.

- The Joe Rogan experience.
- There was a thing about golfers that was like,
these guys obviously are very good at what they do,
but they don't look like regular athletes.
Like what if a regular athlete started playing golf?
- I think that was what Tiger did.
- Yeah.
- Tiger changed the game on so many levels.
He made golf an event.
I would watch golf with my dad on the phone,
and we'd watch Tiger play.
I gotta say this too though, is that Tiger was so powerful.
He had so much torque that that's why
he's having back problems now.
And so you wonder with a guy like Bryson,
by the way, Bryson just lost a bunch of weight.
He looks fucking amazing.
- This is a video of when Tiger--
- Is this Australia?
When they're attacking the police?
- This is what Tiger--
- They're blocking the streets.
- It looks the same almost, but when he was walking up 18,
the people were going so nuts that--
- What kind of security is this?
This is bullshit.
- They tried.
- What's that guy behind him with his arms out?
Bitch, put your arms down.
There's fucking 40,000 people and one guy that's famous.
- And they're all drunk.
- And they're all hammered.
- And you gotta remember, he was--
- Luckily they're golf people, right?
- Oh, golf people would be savages.
- That doesn't mean much.
- Yeah, golf people would be savages.
- Imagine if this was Domino's fans.
- 'Cause they're mostly just drunk guys.
- See, so--
- Rugby fans.
- John Daly came in first.
John Daly came in first.
He came in as an amateur in the US Open, correct?
- And came in and started hitting these monster drives,
like 350, 375, and everyone rallied,
and he had a mullet.
He was like Theo Vaughn, but fat and blonde.
- Right.
- God, man, he is a--
- With a cigarette in his mouth.
Look at this motherfucker.
- Cigarette in his mouth.
- Bad in the day.
- I mean, a real gangster in golf.
I mean, when you say--
- Is he from Florida?
'Cause if he's not, I'll be depressed.
- Oklahoma.
- Close enough.
- Yeah, if you say hero,
that's one of my heroes right there, right?
So John Daly comes in, starts hitting monster drives,
and everyone's on the tee box going,
"Grip it and rip it, John, grip it and rip it!"
- And now I know why you're into Patty.
Patty Pempleton, go to that picture you showed me.
- Yeah, you gave me a fucking good haircut!
- Right that one in the lower right.
That one down there, down there to the right-hand side.
To the right-hand side.
All the way over, all the way over.
Yeah, no, right there, right above that one.
- Oh, my bad.
- Sorry, back, yeah, with the goofy, that one!
- That's Patty Pempleton.
- That's Patty Pettie Pettie Pempleton.
- Look at that smiling Florida face.
He was denied his true birthright of Florida.
Dude, someone fucked up, you should've been born in Florida.
- Someone came, a sponsor came to him and said,
"$3 million, we wanna send you to rehab, though."
And he looked at me and said, "I'm good."
And took a sip.
Dude, can I tell you, Joe, when I say,
so TPC, 1997, he's in St. Augustine, right?
I think he went into rehab right after this,
if I'm not mistaken.
- Oh, I should've taken the money.
Fucked up, it's timing.
- No, no, no, TPC, 1997.
I'm about to come out in Rolling Stone
as the number one party album in the country,
and we were in St. Augustine, partying our balls off,
and John Daly's at a bar, and we just see him.
- You were there, you saw him at a bar?
- We were there, and we were like, "Hey, man."
- Daly's seen drinking on night before he withdrew.
You were there.
- I almost jumped in that fucking, on Hole 17, naked.
I almost jumped in, thank God I didn't.
- Wait a minute.
So you were there drinking with John Daly
the night before he withdraws from an event.
- The night he's at a bar in St. Augustine or Jacksonville.
I mean, we were pretty drunk also.
- Jack's Beach.
- Jack's Beach, but the tournament's in St. Augustine,
if I'm not mistaken.
And so we all went out to see that,
and John Daly's there, and my buddies hit me like,
"That's John Daly."
And all I remember out of that whole fucking night was,
he was, and I know that he withdrew the next day,
but he was so accessible, he was so nice.
He was not being an asshole.
He was having fun, he was having a good time,
and he's a professional athlete.
And I remember thinking, everyone,
and I was like, "That's the guy I wanna be."
Like, "That's the guy."
- It says right here, "He kept the crowd going," O'Neal said.
It was obvious he was there to have a good time.
By the time he left,
he definitely was feeling very little pain.
- This guy, man, this guy is,
he was like,
I would go to golf tournaments with my dad
to watch this guy play.
- Wow.
- 'Cause he would come in,
and he was a little touch and go.
Sometimes he'd be a little shaky, you know?
- 'Cause he'd hammered.
- Hammered the night before,
and sometimes he'd just fucking destroy.
And it was nothing more fun to watch him just--
- Do you think that influenced your future choices?
- One hundred percent.
I mean, a hundred.
- You know why this is funny?
Do you know the story about you and Tom
when you were playing tennis against each other?
- No.
Wait, why?
- Tom hired a coach.
- Oh.
- And Tom worked with his coach,
and he was practicing with his coach,
and the coach said,
"Listen, you got your fundamentals down.
You're doing great."
He goes,
"This guy's drinking all night."
He's like,
"Unless he's some sort of fucking John Daly type dude."
And Tom goes,
"No, no, no.
He's exactly a John Daly type dude."
He goes,
"Then the coach goes,
Oh, shit."
And then you just shut up.
It was a fucking,
somewhere out of nowhere,
see me get video of this.
The tennis match.
It's gotta be online.
Out of nowhere.
You got a legit division one serve.
Like, who the fuck saw this coming?
Bert Kreischer has a legit division one tennis serve,
and you just fucking smoked those balls past Tommy Bunz.
- Oh my God.
- He was in such agony.
- Oh, he was so bummed out.
- He was so sad.
- I remember his son showed up,
and they made him leave early
because he didn't want his son to see it.
- Did you at any point in time
think of yelling out to him,
"You should have stuck to the dance off."
- No.
- No?
- Dude, I remember watching him
not be able to return.
It was like awkward.
Like, it wasn't,
it wasn't even hitting the strings on his racket.
It would hit the handle and shoot up in the air.
- You have a sick serve.
It's crazy.
It's crazy.
Like, if you develop that thing,
like, some dudes are just really good
at shooting fucking three-pointers.
You know, there's like,
guys just have this touch,
and you watch them doing,
you're like, "What the fuck?
How are you doing that?"
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