Name: Ted Nugent Defends Helicopter Pig Hunting
Uploaded: 2021-11-30T18:05:37.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ted Nugent Defends Helicopter Pig Hunting' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-11-30. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ted Nugent Defends Helicopter Pig Hunting' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-11-30. Transcript available.

- The Joe Rogan Experience.
- I have played on this podcast multiple times,
you shooting pigs out of a helicopter.
- They're so beautiful.
It's talking about samurai.
- But it's a crazy thing that people that don't understand
will look at that and go, this is horrible, this is awful.
It's like, you don't understand invasive species.
You don't understand the fact
that this actually has to be done.
And if you're a person that likes to eat vegetables,
guess what, they're gonna eat them all.
They're gonna destroy them all.
Like they need to do something about these animals
and there's no way you could stop them from breeding.
There's millions of pigs in Texas alone.
- Tens of millions.
If I may, put the definitive comment on that.
- Yeah, please do.
- If you have a problem with killing pigs from a helicopter,
you're an idiot and let me help fix you.
'Cause we're all idiots at some point in life
'cause we don't know nothing, there's ignorance
and I've been ignorant, I'm currently ignorant
on how to weld, I need to learn that.
But I admit my ignorance so that I don't fuck up a weld.
I get a guy who's not ignorant about welding.
So let me fix the ignorant out there
and see if I can't weld some intelligence
into their otherwise craving mind for information.
When we kill pigs from a helicopter,
it benefits the environment
because they destroy the environment.
They erode everything and it causes devastation
to waterways and riverine habitat and just every habitat.
So we're saving the environment.
So shut up.
We're saving agriculture because they destroy tens of millions
of dollars of agriculture every year.
So we're saving agriculture.
- I think that's just in Texas.
- Yeah, just Texas, not to mention California
and Mississippi. - Yeah, all over the country.
- So when we kill pigs from a helicopter,
we have created an industry that I legalized
before I called then Governor Perry
and then Attorney General Greg Abbott.
- That was your idea, the helicopter thing?
- Yeah, it was against the law.
You couldn't pay a helicopter pilot to shoot pigs.
Only government agents were allowed to do it in Texas.
I know that sounds like a New York law,
but it was in Texas.
And when my buddy Johnson said,
"Well, you can't pay me for gas."
I go, "Well, it's gotta be expensive.
The helicopter, cross-collateralization,
I can't pay you."
And the game warden go,
"I hope you're not paying him to do that."
And I go, "Well, who are you?
How could you possibly think you have the authority
to determine whether I pay for the gas in a helicopter
as I go up and shoot pigs?
Where do you..."
- Well, that's the law.
- So the law was you couldn't pay for it?
- You couldn't pay for it.
- Well, is it like a prostitution thing?
Don't ask why, why isn't Hillary in prison?
I mean, why isn't she in prison?
- That's my point.
The why question is eternal.
Anyhow, so I called Governor Perry and I said,
"Rick, you gotta be kidding me,
because everybody knows that wild hogs in Texas
are an absolute scourge of a liability.
You're craving systems by which we can reduce the population,
and then you make the most effective solution illegal."
He goes, "Well, I had no idea."
I'm like, "Well, the guitar player will help.
Now, I need to call Greg Abbott."
So on the hunt was Chris Kobach,
who happens to be a constitutional attorney,
really a wise one, a really super one,
right up there with Cruz.
And so he Googled the laws,
and he rewrote them at the camp,
at the helicopter camp.
We're slamming hogs from the helicopter.
We're saving farmers money.
We're saving the environment.
We're saving wildlife because hogs kill everything they can
finally run into, whether it's eggs or fawns.
And they're delicious.
And pigs are delicious.
That's why we created Hogs for a Cause charity,
where we pick up the dead hogs,
we process this organic pork,
and we feed soup kitchens and homeless shelters.
So don't you see, it's win-win, win-win, win-win.
Everything is good.
There's nothing bad about it.
Well, it's not sport.
Well, then you share with me your last helicopter hog hunt
where you hit the pigs every time
from a moving helicopter and an erratically running hog.
Shut the fuck up.
Anyhow, so after we called Abbott and Perry and Chris Kolbach,
these guys are attorneys, and I don't hold it against them,
they rewrote it.
Two weeks later, it was legal.
And here's the next win.
We created an enormous new industry
that is generating tens of millions of dollars
for travel, hotels, groceries, ammo, sporting goods,
taxidermists, ice, beer, guides, outfitters,
helicopter owners.
So it's win-win-win-win.
So I'll go back to my opening statement.
If you're against this completely, conclusively,
definitively win situation for everything,
you're an idiot.
Now take the information I just shared with you
and try to eliminate your idiocy.