Name: Joe Rogan Experience #1755 - Tony Woods
Uploaded: 2021-12-29T00:00:00.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1755 - Tony Woods' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-12-29. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1755 - Tony Woods' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-12-29. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #1755 - Tony Woods

Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out.
The Joe Rogan Experience.
Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day.
You gonna try to do the hat and the earphones?
How you gonna work this?
Because it's bad now.
See, it's Christmas.
I can't go get a haircut.
Like all of this, I got the shadow, the...
All you need is a mirror when you're doing your hair.
I cut my own hair.
So you go somewhere and get your head shaved?
I go somewhere, yeah.
It's just, I don't know, I guess it's just the walking in.
Hey, what's up, Tom?
How you been, man?
Where your next show at?
Hey, I'm coming out to see you.
Yeah, it's that.
It's a social thing.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm anti-social in that way.
I just rather shave my own head.
So you walk in, so you really know Joe Rogan?
Hey, what?
You do all of that.
Well, that is the good thing about barbershops.
The male beauty salon.
Dudes get to hang out and be dudes.
Yeah.
Just...
When did you start shaving your head?
It was a slow progression because I would say, yo, just even it out with where
it's fading away in the little sunroof back there.
Right.
And then after a while, my man said, yo.
It's over.
It's over, man.
You just rock a ball here and make it be like Damon Wayans.
Yeah.
I don't want to be like Damon Wayans.
That's it.
You want to be like Tony Woods.
Yeah.
And then he cut it all off, like, I guess.
Well, it's just part of being old, my friend.
We have to...
How old do you know?
58.
I'm 54.
Jiminy Crickets.
Yeah.
It happens.
Creeps up on you.
And I remember the last show that we did.
Where?
Where was it?
It was in the Bronx.
It was at a college.
Right?
And whenever somebody's ripping, I just...
Because I don't want to watch and it get in my head, you know.
Right.
And some comedians think, oh, you didn't see my set.
I don't want to watch your set, though.
And you up there, you like...
You were doing something about girls who sound like a cockatoo.
Oh, you know, it was girls with crazy big hair.
And you was like...
And they were screaming.
I'm like, I got to go outside.
I don't know what he talking about, but I got to go outside.
The Bronx, huh?
A college in the Bronx.
Yeah, it was...
Man, I don't even remember that.
If somebody asked me, did you ever do a college in the Bronx?
I'd be like, nah.
Yeah, it was right on the one and the nine.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's me, you...
I can't remember, but I just remember you like...
And you're going back and forth like...
And they were screaming.
I'm like, okay, I don't know what that joke is, but...
I got to get out of here.
I got to get out of here.
I got to get out of there if someone's bombing too.
I can't watch that.
Yeah, yeah, that is...
Yeah.
That fucks with my head because then I think nothing's funny.
But I guess because I done got...
Been in the game, I can...
I can bomb gracefully.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah.
Like my engines go out.
Right.
He can glide in home.
Yeah, we can glide in and that'll mess up the next guy because the next guy
come and go,
what'd you do to the room, man?
I peed on the floor, shorty.
Yeah, shorty.
There's some bombings though where it's the crowd.
Like the crowd is just whatever it is.
There's no energy in the room.
But there's some bombings, it's the comedian.
Yeah.
And when it's the comedian, I got to get out of there.
If it's the crowd, I'm like, I want to go up there and wake them up.
Yeah.
But if it's the comedian, there's something in my head that's like nothing is
funny.
Like I can't watch someone as terrible.
Because some guys, they, like, you know, like, I call it like a technician.
Like this is the formula, this is how you do it.
Right.
Right?
And like, dude, obviously that's not working tonight.
Right?
Yeah, do a little crowd work, do this, do that.
Mix it up.
Yeah, mix it up, man.
Because they're not, they're not known.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And so.
Well, don't you think that's the beauty of doing a bunch of different places?
Yes.
Like doing the road a little bit in Pennsylvania.
You do a gig in Florida.
You do a little of this, do a little of that.
And the more you do that.
I love that.
Like, back in the day when we were in New York, I used to go, I used to say, I'm
going to the Caribbean.
So I'd go out to Brooklyn, you know, do most of the Caribbean crowds.
And then you do the downtown, like, remember the place we used to do, I think
Ludlow or something?
It was like alternative comedy.
Where was that?
It was, it was, it was someplace we, like, like Todd Berry used to just rip in
there.
You know, like, they wanted it real subtle and real soft and I would go, whoa,
whoa, whoa, easy with the laughs.
It's alternative comedy.
Isn't that funny?
There's places, they got mad if you tried hard.
If you just smash it.
They didn't like it.
Stop with the cockatoo, baby.
Cut it out.
That's a thing.
That's a thing.
Like, they wanted you to slow down.
It's almost like they didn't want a race, they wanted a fast walk.
We're just fast walking, Tony.
Don't be jogging.
And when we did that thing in the Bronx, it was like mainly like Latino Puerto
Rican crowd.
And they wanted loud.
Right, right, right.
And you was kicking it.
You was kicking it.
You was parading back and forth.
That's when you look like Tony Danza from Taxi.
You was killing it.
Back in the day, but I have a full head of hair and everything.
Yeah, you was like, look at him.
Tony Danza, there's a reference.
That's funny.
The one from Taxi, not the one from Who's the Boss.
Oh, the different one.
When I first saw you, that's who you reminded me of.
That's funny.
But now, dawg, you're like the young, what's his name?
What's the dude's name?
He's the old, the biggest best guy at it.
Larry King.
Oh.
He's dead.
He's not just old.
Larry King's dead.
My bad.
I think COVID got him.
I don't know.
Is that what happened to him?
Did COVID get him?
Well, he was, life was getting him.
I mean, last time I saw Larry, he was like a skeleton.
He was hunched over.
His posture was terrible.
It was like, he was, you know, wasn't in the best of health.
Very nice guy.
And I'm going to tell you something, man.
For years, like randomly, people go, yo, they were talking about you on the Joe
Rogan show.
And I'm like, what's that?
I'm just kind of not in the loop.
Right.
So, I started my own podcast.
It's called the Lonely Ass Bike Club.
Well, I just ride my bike.
I put my phone on there.
I go on FaceTime.
I mean, Facebook Live.
And I just talk.
Why are you riding your bike?
Why I ride my bike?
I just talk about stuff.
That's a cool idea.
You see my face.
And whatever's on my mind just pops up.
I like that.
And I've been doing that for about two or three years.
But I also have a podcast.
We had a group.
And it was called First Episode Again with Tony Woods.
So, I was like, if things ain't going right, don't worry.
It's the first episode.
We got this.
And I had a woman, Maya.
I had a guy who's a lawyer.
Another guy who's like, his name is Chavis.
So, he's like, as if we were on a bus.
He's this guy in the back.
And like, you're talking about something interesting.
And then he'll scream out,
Oh, that's because of Global Woman, motherfucker.
Like that.
And you go, you know he may be right.
You know what I'm saying?
He just has a, yeah.
So, him and, and we were doing, it was going good.
And I think the main guy got tired.
Yeah, just got tired of doing it?
Yeah, because it became a job.
Like, oh, remember we got to meet at this time.
Like, ah.
Yeah, but that's the thing that fucks comics up more than anything.
Is the consistency.
Yeah.
Consistency of, you know, doing shows and just showing up.
No one ever complains at the Lonely Ass Bike Club Chronicles podcast.
Because it's just you.
It's just me.
Nobody ever said, you late again.
Nobody ever says that.
Nobody ever says, slow down, you're riding too fast.
Well, that does, when you have a group of people, like a couple people together
and they start doing a podcast, there's always one person who wants to do it
more than the other person.
One person who has a vision, the other person's like, man, I don't want to do
it today.
I think it was Maya.
Big shout out to Maya.
She had a big, uh, not Maya the girl, you know, but Maya who's on, right.
Because she would, she would have notes and, and then she would say, did you
watch it?
Did you watch it?
Uh, the one we did, uh, yesterday.
I'm like.
Oh, she wants to review them.
Yeah.
I'm like, I don't watch my own comedy.
Yeah.
Like, I don't watch my own podcasts.
I don't, I can't watch my, I can't, I, I, like, I'm like, when I hear my own
voice, I'm like, oh, is he drunk or something?
This guy's on drugs, man.
I just, I just, I don't even want to hear.
That's one thing that comedians have in common is that we all hate our own
voice.
Yeah.
We all hate watching ourselves.
And then people see me sometimes in the grocery store and I think they think
they're making me feel good.
They go, oh, man, you really talk like that.
Like you drunk or kind of stupid.
Thank you.
Thank you, motherfucker.
Yeah, we all listen to ourselves, though.
And like, when you listen to your own special, you're just like, because you
know all this shit.
You know what you're going to say.
So you heard it already.
So it's not surprising.
Yeah.
So it's just boring.
You're like, oh, this isn't good.
You really hate when you leave something out.
Yes.
You're like, I was supposed to say this.
But everybody's like, oh, it's good.
No, fuck that.
I was supposed to say that.
Right.
The worst is when you record something and then you keep doing the bit because
the special
hasn't come out yet.
And then you make up new taglines.
You're like, ah, I want to go back and redo the bit.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You got something coming out soon, right?
I think.
Don't you?
Don't you?
I do, yeah.
Don't you have a special coming out?
When is it?
I don't know yet.
You don't know?
We're still looking for a venue.
So, because I don't want to do it like in a blah, blah, a big grandiose place.
Do it at a comedy club?
I like doing it.
Yeah.
And I just did a comedy club in Wilmington, North Carolina.
It's called the Dead Crow.
Right?
Which, yeah, you don't even think that's a comedy club.
It's, I just, they redid it.
You ever been there before?
No, but I mean, like, the Laughing Skull's a great place and that's got a
fucked up name
too.
And I like the one in Denver.
Comedy Works?
Yeah, the one with the oxygen pumped in.
Really?
There's oxygen pumped in?
I feel like a casino when I'm in there.
Which place is that?
Is that Comedy Works?
It's the one downtown.
Yeah, that has oxygen pumped into it?
Have you ever had a bad set there?
It's a good place.
I think it's just got good vibes.
And everybody's having a ball.
That's true.
But they're all accustomed to that air.
I don't know, dog.
You think it's like a casino?
I don't know.
Because I feel like, double down.
Let's keep it moving, man.
Because, you know, when you're in a casino, how long you been there?
About 20 minutes.
Well, it's 4 a.m.
Whew, my bad.
Like that.
Because the oxygen, it just feels.
I don't know if that's true.
Do you think they really do pump oxygen into casinos?
Okay, don't, like, say that I said it.
No, but I've heard it.
I've heard it.
I've heard people say it.
But then it's true.
Let's find out.
Do they pump oxygen into casinos?
Oh, into casinos?
Yeah, for sure.
Do they definitely do, 100%?
Yes, yeah.
It doesn't seek out because there ain't no windows.
Well, I know they have air filtration because everybody's smoking, but you don't
see smoke
everywhere.
So there must be some movement of the air.
Well, what about comedy works?
I don't think they're pumping oxygen in there.
I just think it's a great room.
Here it goes.
I'm sure you've heard the myth that oxygen is pumped into casinos to give
people more energy
and keep them awake.
This is, in fact, the enduring Las Vegas myth of all time.
There's no doubt that the casinos keep the air chilly to give that same effect,
but there's
no mechanism actually pumping extra oxygen into the system.
Well, now we know.
And when I got the j