Name: Joe Rogan Experience #1761 - Jim Gaffigan
Uploaded: 2022-01-11T00:00:00.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1761 - Jim Gaffigan' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-01-11. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1761 - Jim Gaffigan' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-01-11. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #1761 - Jim Gaffigan

Joe Rogan podcast, check it out.
The Joe Rogan experience.
Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day.
Hello, Joe.
Hello.
Good to see you again, my friend.
I am thrilled to be here.
And now we know that you had COVID.
I had COVID.
And you shook it off like it was nothing.
I shook it off.
I mean, I didn't need those monoclonal.
I mean, you're a weak person, Joe.
And compared to you.
If you were like me, you wouldn't need that stuff.
I wouldn't need anything.
I was out there.
You didn't even know you had it.
I had it.
I was out there spreading it.
Unaware that I was spreading it.
I feel so bad.
I was wearing a mask.
Most people, I don't think that works.
Most people did that.
Most people were out there spreading it.
I mean, what do they say?
The people that don't show any symptoms, the asymptomatic folks, they were in
the high 40%.
Wow.
That's a lot of people.
It's crazy.
Yeah.
But this is not like even PCR tests, right?
Because one of the things that as of December 31st, I believe it's the CDC put
this regulation in place.
They stopped using the standard PCR test for COVID because there's too many
false positives.
People with influenza, other coronaviruses, common colds were testing positive
for COVID-19.
Now, do you feel a certain responsibility?
I have so many questions.
I know it's the Joe Rogan experience, but this is going to be me interviewing
you.
Is like, do you feel a certain responsibility to, because just even chatting
before, the breadth of knowledge that you have on this, I mean, and it's
shifting constantly, right?
So, like, for me, Omicron was kind of like a Dateline episode.
They're like, here's what we know, but now we'll go to a commercial break.
And, like, they just kept, we still don't know, but, like, you seem to know,
and you obviously interview a lot of brilliant people like me that will give
you some of this information.
But, like, look, when I met you, you were, this was before news radio, and you
had stand-up where you were, like, imitating tigers fucking.
How do you go from that to, like, you know, like, particularly on COVID because
the information's changing.
How can you stay updated?
I don't know.
It's a strange path.
Yeah.
Right?
It's a very, it's, well, it's not a path that I took on purpose.
Right.
That's what's weird about it.
Well, you've always had a curious mind.
Yes.
I've always been curious.
All comedians.
Yeah.
I think so.
Yeah.
For the most part.
But with, not just with COVID, with pretty much every discussion that I have
with people that's about something that's fascinating to me.
I just have a very unusual memory.
Yeah.
And I also, I have this, I have this unique opportunity, opportunity to pick
people's brains.
Yeah.
And have these conversations with people where I can ask them these questions.
Right.
And it's invaluable.
Here's my other main question that I've been dying to know.
How do you, because in the entertainment industry or creative people, we all
know that, you know, there's the drive, there's, but the downfall is ego.
How have you navigated this empire where you now own three-fourths of Texas?
And how have you managed to not succumb to, like, some Shakespearean story of
where hubris, do you know what I'm saying?
Like, how have you not self-destructed where you're like, you know what, I go
on my meth bender.
You know what I mean?
Like, you don't do any of that.
No, I exercise really hard.
That's, that's the big, I'm not, like, it sounds like bullshit, but that's
really what it is.
That grounds you, though?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Because the, the training that I do, the martial arts stuff and kettlebell
stuff and the strength and conditioning work, it's so hard that everything else
is easy.
And so that's where I struggle, I struggle in those areas so that I don't, like,
have this existential angst in the rest of life.
Well, all right, so we strip away, we take, what if I stole your kettlebells?
What if I, what if you, what would Joe Rogan be like without the exercise and
the Instagram close-up of a sweaty face?
I worked out today, I didn't want to, but I did it.
What would you be like without that outlet?
You'd be filled with anxiety.
I'm not good if I just take a couple days off.
If I take a couple days off, I get weird.
You'd be fatter than me, you think?
For sure.
You'd be.
You're superior.
I, you know, like, I, I got COVID.
I didn't even notice it.
You didn't even notice it.
But I, I didn't get the original COVID.
I got the Omicron.
The new version.
Yeah.
I got, you know.
It's like Gallagher 2 of COVID.
Right.
I got, like, it's like a crypto version of, I didn't get, like, I got, like,
one of the crypto, you know, like, when you're on your Coinbase account, you're
like, who's buying this shit?
You got new Coke.
Yeah.
I got new Coke.
I got new Coke.
I got new Coke.
That didn't last, did it?
And is some of it, is it yoga?
Do you meditate?
Yeah.
It's all those things.
Yeah.
I do a lot of my meditating while I'm in the sauna.
Yeah.
I used to listen to books on tape in the sauna.
Yeah.
But I realized it's actually beneficial to my head to just have nothing and
just go in there and sit and think.
Yeah.
And so for 20 minutes every day, I'm just sitting and thinking in this fucking
oven.
And when you go to bed in your chamber, right, in your tank, do you sleep in an
oxygen tank?
You don't.
No.
No.
I do use one sometimes.
You do?
I use a hyperbaric chamber sometimes.
Is that what LeBron does, right?
Oh, yeah, yeah.
A lot of athletes do.
It's really good.
And so, but when you go to bed, you're not like me falling asleep with the TV
on.
There's no TV in your bedroom.
No.
I don't want it.
Well, there is one, but I don't use it.
You don't.
I've never even turned it on.
What is your guilty pleasure?
Food.
You put mustard on your elk meat.
What is your...
I like to eat a lot of food.
You do love.
Like those cheat meals, when I see like The Rock's cheat meal, it's like...
So he is not eating any...
Like he's not doing bread or sugar and then he's...
Like he's just the amount of diarrhea he must have on those cheat days, right?
It's gotta be like, I don't...
I'm not cleaning that bowl.
Have you ever met him?
I have not.
He's enormous.
He's like...
He's a big guy.
He's like a superhero status.
Like when you're around him, like you can't believe that's a real person.
Yeah, but is he happy?
He's so big.
He's very happy.
He seems very happy.
He's like a bazillionaire.
He's very wealthy.
But my point is like his body can take in all that food.
Like there's plenty of room.
There's plenty of room.
When he's eating stacks of pancakes and giant cookies and ice cream and...
And that, you know, once he sells his liquor company, then he's gonna be like,
I never drank
any of it.
But what about...
Do you have your own liquor?
No.
No, I don't have my own liquor.
But you...
I drink though.
Yeah, but like you haven't been approached to have your own tequila or vodka?
I've been approached by some companies to do stuff.
I mean, I may in the future.
What I really like is whiskey though.
I'm a little whiskey person.
What about bourbon?
Bourbon.
You know, bourbon whiskey.
Bourbon is just a Kentucky form of it.
I like bourbon.
I think bourbon is actually an American version of it.
I like scotch too.
But what I like is old stuff.
That's the problem.
It's like if you want to make whiskey right, like Buffalo Trace, it's eight
years.
Wow.
It's got to sit in the barrel for eight years.
What's the most expensive whiskey that you've drank?
Like you're like, I can't believe I had a...
I drank some 21-year-old scotch.
It was pretty expensive.
It was really good though.
Oh yeah, I've had 21-year-old scotch.
That's amazing.
We have some 18-year-old here.
I get nervous.
Do you want a sip?
Do you want a little sip?
Sure, I'll have some.
Is it 21 years old?
I think it's...
What do we got here?
12 or 18 or something?
Hold on.
I'll find out.
What Joe does is he gets his guess a little bit buzzed, and then before you
know it...
Before you know it, you're talking shit.
Yeah.
This is Glenn...
These are not sponsors.
Glenn Livet.
This is 18 years old, and this is McAllen.
This is 18-year-old.
Wow.
I think McAllen for you, Gaffigan.
Yeah.
It seems like it goes with your heritage.
My heritage.
I don't know.
Do you drink?
I drink occasionally.
Occasionally?
Well, this is an occasion, my friend.
I mean, it's been 25 years since I did, but...
Cheers.
Cheers.
Good to see you, brother.
Like, that's smooth.
Now I gotta start over.
This is why I like this...
I know.
Now, one day sober.
No, but like...
So that's...
You work out in the morning.
Yes.
And you'll...
How many days a week will you drink alcohol?
It depends on how many podcasts I do and what kind of animals are in here.
Like, if comedians are in here, they like to drink.
Yeah.
You know?
I like to have one drink before a show, just to kind of like get loose.
How many more years do you think we have with Bert Kreischer?
I mean, I love Bert.
I love Bert.
But like, he is...
That's a good question.
He is kind of like...
He's a machine, but like, it's like...
He's a science project.
The machine has been running at full throttle for a while.
And there's sand in the gears.
No.
I mean, honestly, we love Bert.
I love him to death, but we...
Like, Tom is his best friend, and Tom and I have had conversations where we
express concern,
and I'm like, I don't know what to do.
I mean, you can't...
Like, you know, that's one of the reasons why we did Sober October.
We had this big competition.
It was to save Bert?
Yes.
No, really?
A hundred percent.
Oh, my gosh.
Yeah, it was to save Bert, because we thought he couldn't take a month off.
In fact, his doctor was nervous about him taking a month off.
Because he thought there might be a shock to the system?
Yeah.
Well, alcohol and benzodiazepine are the two drugs that are the most dangerous
to just quit
cold turkey.
Those are two drugs where people die from.
Now there's alcoholics listening to me that, well, Joe said, keep drinking.
Keep going.
Well, you're supposed to wean yourself off of it, and you're supposed to, like,
when people
detox from alcohol, they do it under medical supervision, because it's very
sketchy.
It can be really dangerous for your body.
Wow.
Your body, I believe that's what killed Amy Winehouse.
Really?
I'm pretty sure.
I'm pretty sure she went cold turkey off alcohol.
See if that's true.
Pretty sure, though, because she was a really bad alcoholic.
Brilliant.
I thought it was other stuff.
It was alcohol and other stuff.
I think it was the alcohol that killed her, if I remember correctly.
I might be wrong.
We'll find out shortly.
It feels like with generations.
Found dead inside her London apartment.
Multiple investigations have concluded that Winehouse died of alcohol poisoning.
Oh, wow.
So she drank too much.
With a coroner's report after her death revealing that Winehouse had a blood
alcohol content of
0.416, more than five times the legal limit to drive.
Yeah, but I bet she did that all the time.
Yeah.
No, like, my father, you know, and that generation, they could put it away.
My dad, they could put it away.
My dad, like, I thought this was normal.
My dad would get home from work, have a vodka, and then after dinner, he'd have
a scotch.
Like, I thought that was normal.
Yeah, I thought that was normal, too.
That generation was like, boom.
Yeah, they died quick.
They were, I mean, my first job in advertising, I was sent every Friday to a
liquor store to
buy bottles of booze for different VPs.
Oh, yeah.
Well, if you work in an office in a high-stress job, alcohol is almost, like,
mandatory for
those people, just to, like, unwind, throw a couple ice cubes, and that'd be
like, Jesus
fucking Christ, what are we doing?
Yeah.
Whoa.
At the end of the day, these guys just want to do something to take the fucking
edge off.
People put in their time.
They put in their time.
I mean, if you're a person who's in one of them high-stress jobs where you're
working
12 hours a day every f