Name: Empires, Conquerors, and Martin Luther
Uploaded: 2022-01-11T18:04:53.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Empires, Conquerors, and Martin Luther' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-01-11. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Empires, Conquerors, and Martin Luther' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-01-11. Transcript available.

The Joe Rogan experience.
It's kind of stunning being spoken.
When you see how little England is.
Yeah.
You know, I mean, it makes sense what you're talking about with pirates.
That, like, they had to be the most horrific monsters to try to control the
empire.
Well, it's also insane.
By the way, so I did this special in Spain, and I love history.
So do you know what year they finally unified Spain, where they got rid of the
Moors, and they finally, the Castilians kind of pieced together what we
consider modern-day Spain.
Do you know what year they did that?
No.
1492.
Oh.
The year that Columbus.
So they literally finally kicked the Moors out.
By the way, were really, they were really not nice.
The Moors were evil people.
Well, no, no.
They were not nice to the Moors or the Jews.
Like, they got, that was-
The Moors, though, they were conquerors themselves, too.
They were conquerors.
But, like, they-
Everybody was back then, right?
But, like, the, I mean, I performed in Morocco.
It's, like, amazing to think that, like, you know, we think of the colonizers
as these Europeans.
But the Arabs were colonizers, too.
They colonized Morocco.
So, like, there's the Berbers in- I'm sure I'm pronouncing that wrong.
That- So the Moroccans that were in Spain were part of, you know, when Muhammad
and all these guys rose up, the great Arab power was they took over and they
got all the way into Spain and stuff like that.
But it's insane to think that- I mean, this was a joke that I had when I went
to Spain.
Like, Spain took all the gold, all the gold from Central and South America, all
of it.
So, like, there wasn't really that much gold in North America.
There was gold in Central and South America.
And Spain took it all and they spent it.
And so one of my jokes, when I was in Spain, I'm like, where's the gold?
Where is it?
You guys- Like, they literally- Like, one of the things they did is they built
a navy and they got their ass kicked by the British.
You know, so it's- It's really fascinating to see what- How quick these empires
come and how quick they disappear.
Yeah, and that's the strange thing about where we are today is that we want to
think that the United States is going to be around forever and that, you know,
the power and influence we enjoy over the rest of the world will continue this
way.
And there's no way we would ever live under the thumb of a ruthless dictator
like they did, you know, back in the day in this part of the world or that part
of the world.
Like, that's been the standard way that human beings have governed forever.
Yeah, the Romans were like, we're good.
No one's going to take over.
Yeah, come on.
We got it.
Yeah.
The Greeks the same way.
I mean, they started with democracy.
Yeah.
Right?
And it all fucking fell apart.
I mean, the Romans were like so confident.
They're like, you know, Constantine's like, you know what?
I don't even want to do Rome anymore.
Let's go over to what's present day Istanbul.
Like, he switched the capital of Rome.
That's insane.
It's kind of like if a president was like, you know what?
I think our capital should now be in, let's now put it in Vancouver.
Yeah.
Like, in a different country.
Right.
It's wild.
The Roman Empire, it was named after a city, Rome, and he moved it to, you know,
essentially Asia.
It's like insane.
Why did he go there?
I think that was modern, maybe?
Really?
I don't know.
Oh, interesting.
I don't know.
Dan Carlin would know.
Yeah.
He'd be the guy to ask.
How does that guy know so much?
He's just consuming books.
Yeah.
Well, he works so hard on his show.
To call his show a podcast and to call this a podcast is really kind of
hilarious because
this is like, we did zero preparation.
I haven't seen you in two years.
Yeah.
We'd talk like through text messages only, and then also we're sitting there
talking.
We have no idea what we're going to talk about, and we've been talking for
hours.
Dan Carlin, when he does a two-hour podcast, he will research that for months,
months and
months.
Like, well, he'll do a thing like The Wrath of the Khan, which is a spectacular
five-piece
series on Genghis Khan.
When he did that, it took like six months to prepare.
Wow.
Yeah.
And then he puts them out, and you can get them for a dollar.
They cost a dollar each.
And it is like literally some of the most spectacular historical entertainment
you'll ever get in
your life.
It's educational.
There's an enthusiasm to how he does it, too.
He's amazing.
And he's so humble, too.
He always says he's not a historian.
Like, bitch, you're a fucking historian.
Yeah, he always says that, too.
Yeah, stop saying that.
Have you met him?
I haven't met him.
He's a great guy, too.
He's been on the podcast a couple times.
And so what is ... So the length of his podcasts are astronomical, too.
Yes.
Yeah.
They're like, four hours, part one of Caesar Conquers the World.
And you're like, what?
I know.
He's like, let me quote from this book that I read.
I'm like, dude, I haven't ... Like, reading this dense information, he goes,
Sophocles
wrote this thing.
And you're like, how do you know that?
Yeah.
And he covers so many different topics.
He had a great piece on Martin Luther and the invention of Lutherism and the
time in history
where making a version of the Bible that was phonetically readable, that people
could understand,
like a phonetic interpretation of the Bible where you could say the word ...
That didn't
exist.
Like, they all read the Bible in Latin.
And if you don't understand Latin, you were ...
Most people didn't read.
Right.
You were at the whim of the priests.
And Martin Luther came along and said, actually, what God said, like, you
should probably interpret
it yourself and not leave it to these people.
And like, they came real close to killing him a few times for that.
It is amazing how consistently the messages and the teachings of Jesus are like
...
Like, humans can't grasp it.
Like, they're like way off.
Like, oh, we're supposed to take care of the poor.
We're supposed to help the needy.
We're supposed to do all this.
And people are like, does that mean I should get another car?
Like, we don't ...
We don't even come close.
I'm going to get a Jesus tattoo.
Do you know what I mean?
Like, we don't ... And I'm talking about people that, you know, embrace the
Christian faith.
Yes.
Like, get it wrong.
I'm not talking about people like, I don't believe in that stuff.
Right.
People who proclaim to be Christian.
Again, humans are pretty dumb.