Name: Valentine Thomas on Spearing a 400lb Marlin
Uploaded: 2022-01-26T18:01:07.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Valentine Thomas on Spearing a 400lb Marlin' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-01-26. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Valentine Thomas on Spearing a 400lb Marlin' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-01-26. Transcript available.

- The Joe Rogan Experience.
- What's the biggest fish you've ever speared?
- Uh, a marlin, it was about 400 pounds.
- Holy shit.
Was it attached to a rope?
- Yeah, it was like--
- So you're holding onto him?
- Like an elastic, the spear's attached to a bungee,
which is attached to a buoy.
So the buoy, when a fish takes off, the buoy takes off.
- So you knew you were going for marlin at the time?
- No, not at all.
- Wow. - I was going for tuna, actually.
- 400 pounds.
- It was, I was very scared that he would spear me back,
which, you know, would have been kind of fair enough.
- Sorta.
- Yeah.
- Damn, is that possible?
Would he attack you?
That's him?
Holy shit.
- I was just guessing.
I don't know that that's it, officially.
- Yeah, that's it, yeah. - Is that it?
- You would know.
- Holy fuck. - That's a black marlin.
- That thing is huge.
What did that taste like?
I've never had marlin.
- It's really good.
- Yeah? - It's kind of similar to swordfish.
- Yeah?
- It's awesome meat.
- Wow, look at the size of that fucker.
- Because most of the time, they don't eat them.
Why is that?
- They can have high level of mercury,
so you just don't eat the whole thing, I guess.
- Oh, okay.
- But it's amazing tasting.
- Really?
- I gave away a big part of it in Mexico when I was,
and I took back home about 50 pounds with me.
- Do you smoke it?
Like, how do you cook it?
- I only kept just not too much.
I probably kept like 10 pounds of it, not even.
- So you brought 50 pounds home,
so you just give away the other 40?
- Yeah, I actually put on my Instagram
that I was giving away marlin at the grocery store,
corner of that street and that street,
and I just gave away all of it.
- And people just showed up?
- Yeah. - Really?
- I like meeting people.
- Wow, that's really nice.
That's very cool of you.
- Wow.
- It was fun.
Nobody killed me yet, so let's see.
- Jesus, don't put that out there.
So when you shot this marlin,
how long before you could actually get it in the boat?
Like, how much time does it take
after you shoot a marlin?
- It took me about two hours,
so the fish basically just like took off,
and it was, as soon as I shot it,
so basically I jumped, I was underwater,
and I saw this marlin coming from the deep,
and of course, when I tried going towards it,
it was swimming away,
so I kind of just turn around,
and looking from the corner of my eye,
and he just turned away,
'cause I was like, what's that thing?
He's not even looking at me.
And he turned around,
and he gave me like a complete, like,
broadside shot. - Broadside shot.
How far away?
- Pretty close.
Probably from me, Jamie,
so I said that's-- - Really?
- I don't know, what's that?
- 15 feet? - 15 feet?
- Whatever you guys are using.
- Yeah.
- Like about four meters. - What are we using?
In America, Land of the Free,
Home of the Brave,
it's called feet, not meters.
Four meters.
Four meters, what the fuck's up?
- And so I was like, okay,
my gun was pretty small,
so I thought I can either shoot it in the gills,
but then I would risk to just not go all the way through it,
and you really want the spear to go all the way through it.
So I shot it mid-body, and the spear went through it,
and I went back to the surface, grab onto the buoy.
One buoy is not a lot for fish that's that big.
- And you just hung onto the buoy, and went for a ride?
- And then I bear hugged the buoy, and I was yelling at the boat,
bring me to the buoy to have a big fish on!
- Wow.
- And the boat comes super quickly.
And basically, it was another guy in the water,
so I have to take the other people out of the water,
and making sure everything is clear.
Meanwhile, I'm hanging onto the buoy.
The boat comes in, throws me in another buoy,
I'm clipping, the fish is like swimming,
like it's my snorkel, it's like zzzz,
with the wind and the water.
That thing is going.
And then I had the second buoy in.
I'm like, okay, this is more pressure.
So now the fish is dragging an elastic rope
that's like, you know, creating pressure,
two buries, and me.
- Wow.
- So I'm kind of waiting for it to slow down,
and to tire it up.
When I feel there's no pressure anymore,
so there's like a clip, and then the bungee cord,
I like, I put it up, I put it up,
and then when the fish come close enough,
so I had the second, smaller gun
to give it like a last shot, basically,
and the first seven to eight times,
the fish, as soon as they were seeing me,
was going back down.
And I'm like, oh, for fuck's sakes.
I'm like, Jesus Christ.
And they're like, keep pulling the fish up.
I'm like, I'm not feeling good.
Like, I'm feeling so bad.
I puked after it as that,
but you have so much adrenaline,
and you're like using all your energy.
And the last time, he was just like,
he had no energy left,
and I managed to give it a second shot.
Then I brained it, and then--
- Oh, and the brain?
- So I went back to the surface.
- Where do you shoot to get the brain?
- So most of the time,
it's basically like right behind the eye.
So kind of behind the top of the head and the eye,
that's kind of where the fish brain is.
So I bled it.
- When you brained,
would it just stiffen up?
- They just stop.
They kind of like either like shake it a little bit,
and just stop moving.
Then you just bleed it,
and put it back on the boat.
- Wow.
- I didn't talk the entire way.
- Really?
- Yeah.
- So I was holding my metal pen,
and people were talking to me.
I was like, "Shh."
I was like, "I can't right now."
I don't even know what just happened.
- That's so big.
400 pounds is so big to shoot with a spear gun.
So we get back to the dock,
and there's like a bunch of Mexicans gathering,
and they're like, "Oh nice, who got that?"
And I pointed at the girl in the background,
and I'm like, "Me."
- That's hilarious.
Do you like that?
That you are like this thin girl
that's killing these giants?
Look at the size of that thing.
My God.
That is huge.
- That was a nice fish.
- It's so wide.
Wow, that is cool.
Is that the spear that's laying on top of it there?
- Yeah, that's the spear, yeah.
- Wow.
That's massive.
- It was so great.
I was so in shock that I could barely speak.
- How long is it?
- How long is the fish?
- Yeah.
Don't give me meters either.
- Good question.
- It looks like it's like nine or 10 feet long.
Is that right?
- It's pretty long.
Yeah, it's probably like a good--
- Nine feet?
- Something like that, yeah.
- Wow, that's awesome.
- Were you thinking at any point in time like,
"Oh my God, I bit off more than I could chew?"
- Yeah, definitely.
After I showed it, I was like, "Oh shit."
- What have I done?
- This is when the fun's come down.
- I'm gonna get dragged to the bottom of the ocean
hanging out of this buoy.
- I was like, "This may be my last day,
but it will be a fun one."
- What is it?
Have you shot anything big other than that?
Like is that by far the biggest thing you've ever shot?
- Yeah, that's by far the biggest one I ever shot.