Name: JRE MMA Show #119 with Michael Bisping
Uploaded: 2022-03-04T00:00:00.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'JRE MMA Show #119 with Michael Bisping' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-03-04. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'JRE MMA Show #119 with Michael Bisping' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-03-04. Transcript available.

JRE MMA Show #119 with Michael Bisping

Joe Rogan podcast check it out the Joe Rogan experience train by day Joe Rogan
podcast by
night all day good to see you brother good to see you working together for the
first time this
weekend I know I just told you yeah I'm very excited I'm very excited about
that it's a
fucking great card yeah no it really is sick card dubious circumstances how I
got the call
so very very unfortunate Daniel's mom passed away and yeah very very very
unfortunate you know and
this is this is such a crazy week is the came Velasquez story just came out and
we were having
that conversation and you know fuck man that's a heavy one that's the heaviest
his four-year-old
daughter was allegedly molested by this guy and you could only imagine the rage
the fucking rage that
must have been going through that man's mind I mean I I get it apparently it
was a hundred times I don't
know how they know that but that's what's circulating and as you say one time
when you hear that that this
potential has been going on for God knows how long yeah and he's got a little
daughter man she's four
she's a tiny little cute little adorable girl and that's it's just and what
does that do to her head to
that happen a hundred times how do you you can't erase those memories it's so
sick see yeah I mean
it's beyond sick it's that guy deserves everything what Kane did well Kane
actually got his father didn't
it yeah unfortunately himself yeah sadly I mean I'm my only wish is that he did
it with his hands my only
wish is that he just ran that car off the road pulled that guy out of the
fucking car and beat him to death
fuck you and even that would have been too good for him yes yes you know it
would have been yeah I mean
that is that is a sickness there's like there's certain sicknesses that people
have that human beings
have sicknesses of the mind but that one the molesting like a fucking baby that's
a four-year-old's
like a baby molesting children is that's sickest of all of those sicknesses and
he's never gonna get
better no I just don't think they do no a reformed pedophile is there such a
thing I don't believe so
they say the recidivism rate is way high it's really high what is the see
Google that what's the
recidivism rate for child molesters what does that mean Joe sorry big words on
me I use them wrong all the
time but what is it recidivism recidivism yeah that's a new one I've never
heard okay I don't
have them a bad vocabulary but that's pretty good I like that it's uh it just
means you're you go back
to continues you go back to offending yeah I think it's just a legal term that
they use for for criminals
yeah it's got to be very high it's very I think it's very high I think it's
like in the 90% or
something like that did anything another answer it's uh but again it's how do
how would you know that
rate anyway because it's not exactly because they catch them well catch them
again sometimes yeah that
right sometimes you know what I'm saying yeah that's that's what I'm talking
about you know they're not
exactly forward with that information it's just a sickness that's been going on
for for since the
beginning of time what is it you got got a couple of different things this
might be the best answer
there in the top of that oh it's to say sex offenders though so sex offenders
could be rape it could be
anything I know a guy who got charged with a sex offense crime because he was
taking a leak
outside oh really yeah he's taking a piss outside like string over and indecent
exposure exactly and
so he had to be registered as a sex offender no way yeah yeah oh my god I mean
who hasn't had a piss
outside and it was like an Indian or some shit like that and the cops are just
cunts I remember when I
first moved there I was on a we went to a nightclub back in the days when I
would go to a nightclub
and I got out of the car and I was dying for a piss you know when you've had a
few drinks yeah and
I'm in a car park so I just take a little leak against the wall and my buddies
at Mike what are
you doing you can't do that here you're not in Manchester I'm like well we don't
piss everywhere
in Manchester either you know what do you think we are fucking dogs do you know
what I mean but I
need a piss and I've had a few beers shut up it reminds me of a nightmare I had
recently I had a
nightmare recently that I had a pee so bad that I pissed in a restaurant on the
floor and I was hoping
nobody noticed it's the craziest dream like I'm just remembering it now and
yeah like like I feel
like I got caught in the dream and I had to like pinch it off real quick but I
was like trying to
piss on the floor in a restaurant somewhere yeah what is that like decipher
that you will decide for
this one I have a lot of night terrors which is like extreme dreams I am
assuming and I just wake up in
night screaming and doing crazy stuff a couple of years ago last time my wife's
brother and his entire
family came they were all staying at my house it's Christmas morning and I had
one of my episodes I
don't know why I jumped out of bed Christmas morning that's 5:30 a.m. and I
always sleep naked so I'm
completely naked I jumped out of bed and my wife because I was still asleep so
I didn't know I did
it I ran out the the bedroom ran down the stairs right obviously thought
someone was trying to kill
me in my dream fell down the stairs got up run out the house came to on the
next door neighbor's wall
completely naked oh my god all my my feet and everything up because I was
climbing off the walls
oh my god my wife's brother's family were like this guy's a fucking maniac what
is he doing I came to
I was sitting on the wall I'm like wow that was a crazy one oh I have a good
friend of mine her
brother they were on vacation and their brother has night terrors and he ran
out of the hotel room
and ran through you know they have those glass railings in hotels on the second
floor ran through the
glass and fell to the second floor and now he's paralyzed mmm I was in Cancun
last year same thing
because we were up real high and every night I locked the doors to keep
yourself from doing yeah
because I was I said to my wife I said what if I run out there in the middle of
the fucking night
and we're 20 floors up you know what I mean how often have you I mean how long
has this been going
on ever since I was I first one I had I went to Switzerland with the Boy Scouts
when I was like
nine or ten years old yeah that was the first one yeah yeah do you remember the
dreams no no I a lot
of the time I have no idea they've even happened my wife tells me the next day
she's like oh you and
she's so used to it by now imagine living with you imagine her she's living
with a former UFC
middleweight champion of the world so you're a fucking savage already and she's
got to make sure that you
don't wake up in the middle of the night and think you're in a fight for your
life yes yes I remember
one night I remember this one the ceiling fan I thought the ceiling fan was
gonna come down and
chop us up she's fast asleep and I grab her and I throw her against the wall
you know she's only a
little thing and she and then she she's on the floor she's like what the fuck
are you doing oh I'm sorry
babe I thought the fan was gonna chop us up it's so great I wish I was exaggerating
that's so crazy
no exaggeration to this story right and you remember it when you're waking up
like after you threw it at
the ground is that when you wake it ever so slightly very vaguely yeah wow that's
so crazy mm-hmm that's so
crazy yeah that wake the dream walking thing is strange mm-hmm it is people do
it they just don't
walk right up to you and just start talking you're like hey man are you awake
and you realize like oh
he's not even awake yeah like they say don't wait to bed yeah yeah go back to
bed yeah they say don't
wake them but why not wake wake me up fucking naked on top of the neighbor's
fence but make me up here's
the question what would wake you if being naked running down the stairs
climbing a fence that
doesn't wake you up what's gonna wake you up a bucket of cold water if you see
me running down
the street totally naked but I gotta get a bucket I gotta chase you slap me the
cold water do something
speaking of which I can't believe that you can run on these artificial knees
now that is amazing
yeah yeah I mean do that thing where you showed me you tap it do it so like
with the microphone can
hear it listen to his knee this is the artificial knee there's both that one
doesn't do it as well
wow but yeah yeah I mean so you had them replaced yeah fully so what did they
do did they cut the top of
the knee off and put like a new thing and screw it in like they do it a few
different ways like
resurfacing and sometimes they they have to the joints just like I have a
friend is his joint was
disformed because uh he had gone without cartilage for so long bone on bone
that the bone started like
getting spurs and yeah yeah they had to cut his open yeah essentially so they
they could cut the leg open
obviously remove the entire knee shave down the femur shave down the tibia and
the fibula put in a whole
new knee attach the tendons staple you up and off your pop wow and then uh the
recovery is awful yeah
awful I mean my legs swelled up to about this size um and then that was my left
knee which gave me
problems ever since I trained with George St Pierre in uh 2005 I tore my pcl so
it was just one thing after the
other you know wear and tear but my right knee had never bothered me once never
any issue whatsoever until
I had the left knee replaced and then as soon as that healed started having
pain in my right knee
really yeah and then they said yeah you need that one replaced as well I'm like
I've never felt any pain
they went well that's crazy because that needs shot as well so yeah had them
both done uh best thing I
ever did you know I mean it's weird it's weird it's a weird sensation even now
if I go on my knees
it's not pain but it's just a very strange I mean they're still numb you know
yeah so there's no
feeling there so doing jiu-jitsu you know so you're training again uh no well I
was gonna say doing
jiu-jitsu is an issue you know so I don't do it very often you know because I
imagine if someone gets
you in a heel hook oh yeah yeah did you would you feel it oh for sure yeah you'd
feel it in the tendons
I would say so I think so I don't know nobody's done that like did they replace
your acl do you have
an acl at all or is it just the artificial don't know that's a good question I
never asked I never
asked that's hilarious yeah it's like hey I'm not concerned with it to do it
yeah Joey Diaz had one
of his replaced and he said he started doing jiu-jitsu too but he said
sometimes someone will move him
funny and it'll pop out a socket oh no no there's nothing like that but it pops
back in place right
but I mean he might have like lax tendons or yeah I'm just guessing yeah so I
said to the doctor I
said is it fine to run and he said yeah well I screwed them in extra tight so
you're good to run
I'm like wouldn't you screw them in extra tight anyway I'm like oh this guy
likes to run we'll
just give that a couple more turns I'm like what are we fixing a door here you
screwed them in tight
what do you mean so anyway yeah I would imagine that would be something you do
every time
get it as tight as possible yeah so yeah my mom's trying to avoid one right now
she's had some real pain in one of her knees and I sent her down to Panama to
stem cell clinic and
that helped a lot that killed all the pain like she she went down there and six
months later she was real
like concerned because it was like six months and there was no improvement she's
like I don't think
it worked on me and then after six months the pain went away and then it's like
slowly got better
so I've sent her down there a second time and uh I'd like to like keep her
going I'll try to avoid
the because the thing about it when you're older too she's like 75 you know
when you