Name: How Michael Bisping Fought With One Eye
Uploaded: 2022-03-04T18:16:08.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'How Michael Bisping Fought With One Eye' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-03-04. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'How Michael Bisping Fought With One Eye' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-03-04. Transcript available.

the Joe Rogan experience that always pissed me off why no I don't mean Nick
Newell fighting with one hand pissed me off but how can you fight with one hand
but you can't fight with one eye they told you you can't fight now you can't
you can't fight with one eye but yeah how like I always wanted to ask you this
when was your vision first compromise was it after the it was after the Vitor
fight right it was the Vitor fight that did it and I slowly started getting our
symptoms I was doing this a lot in restaurants you know restaurants are
dark some of them I was like I was doing this you know my friends will be like
oh
he's doing that thing again with his hands I'm like can you see your hand if
you
do that so but the people are just listening you have your hand next to your
face yeah moving your fingers around and you kind of see it yeah exactly and
then
by the end it was like right in front of me there and I couldn't see and it was
at
that point I called the doctor but um I fought Alan Belcher after the Vitor
Belfort fight and then as I say as this was getting worse and worse and worse
called the doctor and said yeah you got a detached wetner they fixed that it
redetached I got glaucoma it was just just bad luck one thing after the other
anything that could go wrong with an eye went wrong yeah how did you get to the
point where you're fighting GSP like how how did you pass this test with great
difficulty lying cheating bullshit codes I fucking lied to so many doctors I
went
to England I was doing some worth of BT sport at the time Dana was trying to
help
me out because looks like look like I wasn't gonna be fighting you know so I
went over there doing some work for BT sport and you know I was talking about
fighting again and said well we want to take you to a doctor of our choice so I
said alright cool whatever and I'm shit in my pants you know and I had to do
this
test where you look into this thing and there's all these lights you know and
you
push a button when you see the light pop up and I just fucking get I passed it
I
just fucking guessed it you just guessed it I guessed it and I passed right and
then there was another one they took me to see another doctor and I went in and
this doctor was an old Indian guy lovely sweet man and there was a guy in there
like an old war veteran could hardly walk like about 100 or something years old
very eccentric old gentleman and this doctor says I'm just gonna walk this man
to the car go into my office make yourself at home I'm like fucking get in
because I walked in and the eye test was there it was an old school one it wasn't
a
digital one it was like a triangle you know mm-hmm three sides to it and all
you've got to pass is you've got to have 2200 vision to pass which is still
clinically blind but on an eye test it's the big one at the top and then the
two
underneath this are still pretty big so I'm okay DBE spinning around CDE so I
remembered all three and the doctor doesn't know that I'm trying to cheat the
test he thinks I'm fucking trying to check on my vision like a normal person
you know what I mean so he covers up my bad eye first and he says what can you
see he did go through it all very good and then he doesn't move it round and he
says okay what can you see there and that's where these couple of shitty acting
lessons I had paid off on that DCE gets a little blurry after that doc if I'm
honest
couldn't see a fucking thing and he's like okay you've passed he said he said
listen um
you've passed to fight he said but I wouldn't fight he said because if anything
happens to
you're a good eye you're gonna go blind and I'm like oh yeah yeah yeah you're
right doc yeah oh well I'll give it some thought
I'll maybe I'll talk to my family yeah oh god what a situation right yeah and I
walked I was like
fucking come on because it meant I was back right but of course then every time
you fight you still
got to get checked by a doctor again every time at the weigh-ins you know so
that was always very very
worrisome so how'd you pass those they just didn't check very good I mean I I
had uh I had a code with
Perillo you see he always came in with me and I said right because all they've
got to do because now
this is a prosthetic lens as you know right and I did I only got this in 2018
um so without the
prosthetic lens in it looks awful do you know what I mean it looks worse now
than what it did back then
over time it's deteriorated and got worse and worse but I thought all they've
got to do is look at that
eye and say all right how many fingers can you see you know so I said to Perillo
I said if it holds up
one finger you go if it holds up two yawn whatever it holds up three we just
came up with these shitty
codes you know what I mean but we never had to use it once because I remember
once the doctor when you
can see how that eye right I said yeah yeah of course again I said I've got all
the paperwork
okay cool wow that was it that was it that was it that was all right sweet cool
yeah very few
people would have still fought at one eye that's usually the price where most
people are not willing
to pay anymore yeah well I just moved to America bought the stupid big house
that I didn't need
I had a lawsuit going on with my former management which was completely fabricated
the legal fees were just incredible um I just I couldn't quit I had no choice I
had to still
fight you know now life's great but back then I was still very much financially
struggling
uh and yeah all I had well I had to fight this court case this legal this
lawsuit and that was costing
a fortune and it's all I knew at that time that's one of the craziest stories
ever that you won the
middleweight title with one eye yeah and you won it by lying to the doctors
yeah I was terrified I was
terrified the fucking every time I fought I mean I don't want to say too much
didn't it fuck with your
depth perception though because that's one of the things that they say all the
time like I'll go and grab
that bottle for example now I'm fine because my brain's touched it so my I know
where it's at I can judge it but but the first time I miss I miss all the time
I'm always
misreading how far something is away do you know what I mean right um because
yeah the depth perception
and everything's in 2d and then sometimes it can it can fuck with me a little
bit sometimes I start
getting a little I can get a little blurry and like I don't know I get a little
dizzy because it's like
sometimes it's only sometimes all of a sudden I'm like whoa I can't fucking
figure anything what about
driving like everything's fine but everything's on the right side yeah yeah to
turn to see if someone's next
to you all the time yeah if I'm turning changing lane I always have to give it
one of those right
and turn really far yeah um and I'm always hitting people in the face like like
and it's always an
old lady oh no the amount of times because I'm very animated right I talk with
my hands like for example
I'm at a crosswalk in New York City and I'm in the middle of telling a story
and I'm oh my god I am so
sorry oh no I've gone like that into someone's face and it's always a little
old lady for some reason
always you know and they look at me like I'm the biggest dickhead on the planet
I'm so sorry I am so
sorry oh that's horrible yeah yeah but um is there any hope for your eye no
nothing there's nothing they
can do in terms of uh repair well if you look at that wow it has gotten worse
yeah there's just nothing
there so wow um when I got this done which changed my life in many ways to be
honest um I was just
sick of looking like that you know you don't see anything out of it no light
nothing if if I cover
up my good eye and the lights go on and off the shade of blackness changes so
it'll go yeah just ever
so slightly I can tell when the lights gone on and off that's that's it and
there's no replacement
lenses or anything that they can do I saw oh I heard recently that they're they're
putting in like
robotic eyes or something like that hmm yeah but I haven't looked into it yet
because you know two
fake knees and a fake eye yeah yeah imagine if it's better oh no I know could
you imagine because I'm
I'm fucking back let's go I'm back one more for the road
two fake knees stepping into the octagon yeah yeah that would be wild fake
knees and a fake eye
I think they have a an electronic eye that they've created that offers superior
vision and I think
I don't think it I think it's just in the testing phases now but see if you can
find that yeah
Jamie it's I'm pretty sure that it is superior to uh normal eyesight and the
way that it interacts
with the brain I don't understand I don't know how it like interacts with the
optic nerves and
the signals that it sends yeah no I'm sure it is better you know with the
technology that they have
one day yeah no absolutely that's why I retired though because the doctor said
you know and they
always said you know if something goes wrong with your good eye you'll go blind
yeah
Thank you.