Name: Joe Rogan Experience #1794 - Monty Franklin
Uploaded: 2022-03-22T00:00:00.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1794 - Monty Franklin' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-03-22. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1794 - Monty Franklin' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-03-22. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #1794 - Monty Franklin

Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out.
The Joe Rogan Experience.
Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day.
That's what the British would say, a proper cigar lighter.
Was that your British accent?
Yeah, it was terrible.
Can't tell if I'm from New Zealand, Britain, Scotland.
No, it was a shit.
How many people that don't know you're from Australia think you're British?
I never get it.
I always get Australian.
Really?
I've never been called anything else.
Maybe New Zealand or British once.
But that's amazing because you lived in Florida for a year.
That basically is another country.
They don't know what the fuck's going on in the rest of the world.
I love it.
People that stay in Florida.
Florida, it's like 1985 and they just said, no, we're just going to stay here.
Everything's fluorescent and the buildings haven't been updated since.
Everything's strange.
What part of Florida are you living in?
We're in Orlando for a year.
Oh, okay.
So that's Disneyland.
That's a weird place anyway.
Disney World.
That's a weird place anyway because it's all Disney-fied.
Yeah, that's like half the people work for Disney in Orlando just walking
around and stuff.
It's a strange place.
I enjoyed the time that we were there, but I'm glad that we're leaving.
Sorry, Orlando.
It's a fun place to stay during the pandemic, I'm sure.
Yeah.
I mean, everything was open.
Because they act like it's not real.
Well, no.
Nothing happened there.
There was no pandemic.
Everyone just lived their lives and carried on and went to boat regattas and
made out with each other in the streets.
Yeah, I was talking to Stanhope and Stanhope, by the way, never got COVID,
which is amazing.
Amazing.
I mean, if anybody's got a compromise.
He probably got COVID 20 years ago and he's had it that whole time or something.
It's a joke he has.
He says he's been experiencing COVID-like symptoms for the past 30 years.
But he was traveling to like Wyoming and Montana and he goes, and they were
like, you know, we never had any restrictions.
There's places that just never locked anything down.
I wonder if there's, I mean, was, no, I was going to say Hawaii, but Hawaii was
pretty locked down, wasn't it?
They're still locked down.
I was just there.
Really?
I was there last week and they made me put a mask on in the gym.
I'm like, well, cut the shit.
I'm in the restaurant.
I don't have to wear a mask.
I'm in the gym.
I do.
Like, where's the logic?
Tell me what.
Because I'm breathing harder?
COVID doesn't go into the restaurant.
You have to get tested to even get into the fucking state.
Like, you have to have a test.
You do a PCR test to get into the state.
So they know you don't have COVID.
And then you get there.
No one has COVID there.
Everybody in the resort will stay at the Four Seasons.
Everybody has been tested.
It's very nice.
Very nice place.
Nice gym, too.
But it's fucking, it's preposterous.
And not only that, you're wearing this surgical mask.
These fucking stupid paper masks don't do a goddamn thing anyway.
No.
Like, when I talked to Michael Osterholm, the infectious disease expert, he was
explaining
why these N95 masks work.
He's like, that's what you want.
If you really think you're in contact with something and you want to, like,
prevent any kind of infection,
he goes, you should have an N95 mask.
What is he saying about something about the magnetic, something about it?
Yeah, there's an electrostatic charger.
Right.
And somehow or another, it literally, like, stops the particles in the mask
itself.
I'm like, oh.
And that's the only one that does it.
That makes sense.
Yes.
Wearing your underpants on your face doesn't work.
It doesn't work.
It doesn't work.
It's a face diaper.
It's fucking so stupid.
And not only that, a lot of people were wearing, but this fucking guy at the
gym, where they
said it was okay with him, he had a face shield.
So this guy has a thing.
A clear thing?
Yeah.
A clear thing.
He goes down like this, and there's a big gap.
There's this big gap underneath.
You can go in there and pick your nose.
It doesn't make any, it's like, we're in clown world.
This is crazy.
So he's okay, but I have to put on this surgical thing.
Maybe he has other issues.
Maybe people spit in his face a lot.
He's like, I can't do this anymore.
I need a face shield.
He just walks around insulting everybody.
I guess I need some protection from this.
He was on the fucking, the stair machine.
I'm like, come on, bro.
That is crazy.
That's like a cat that hides under a table, but you can still see his tail.
I'm like, what the hell if I can see you, bro?
My cats do that.
They're terrible hiding.
They like run under the couch and half of their ass and their tails out, and I
go, it
was a good try that I can fully see you.
They're like, if I can't see you, you can't see me.
It's like closing your eyes as a kid.
You can't see me.
But I was getting shitty the other day because I was on the plane, and the mask
was, because
I've been traveling a lot, I was getting a pimple on my nose from wearing a
mask
on it, and I just didn't want to pimple on my nose, because who does?
And so I was just letting it hang down there, and just everyone was coming up,
up off your
nose, please, sir.
And I just wanted to go, what a pimple.
Can you just please let me?
As if, as if that makes any sense.
I mean, that is one of the more preposterous things that people have just
accepted during
this pandemic, that these, and when, follow the science, follow the science.
Well, please follow the science on that, because unless everybody has an N95
mask, and it's
fucking properly fitted, tight to your face, this is nonsense.
Do you remember, do you remember seeing the guy at the very start of pandemic
surfing out
in Malibu with a face mask on?
No, but I do remember the guy who was paddle boarding who got arrested.
Oh, do you remember those boats chasing him and shit?
It was unreal.
In the middle of the fucking ocean, by himself, and they arrested him.
Helicopter come, and then the two boats came.
God damn it.
We lost our fucking mind.
It shows you how goofy people really are if, if something goes sideways.
Yeah.
Most people are not prepared.
We can't, we can't trust people in masses.
Not just not in masses, but even the government, the people that are in charge
of policing.
The fact that the police didn't say, hey, hey, hey, we're not, the Coast Guard
didn't
say this, we're not going to go out and arrest a fucking paddle board of guys.
This is nonsense.
This is like deep enough into the pandemic that there was already data on
outdoor passing
of the virus.
And outdoor transmission was almost non-existent.
Yeah.
This is not where it's happening.
It's happening in closed, tight spaces.
Yeah.
Where people are breathing on each other.
And that's the early days of the pandemic where you had to be around each other
for a
long time to catch it.
Yeah.
This new shit, this Omicron, you could like be passing by someone and they
sneeze and you
got it.
But it's over now.
No one's talking about the next variants and stuff.
It's like COVID got canceled.
It had a couple of good seasons and then the antagonist wasn't powerful enough.
So they've gone on to another show.
Well, luckily this new variant is very mild.
Omicron.
Although so many people are saying like people are still getting hospitalized,
but maybe, but
those people likely are severely compromised because I had it and it was,
obviously I had
the original COVID, but that wasn't that bad for me either.
But the new COVID is a fucking breeze.
I don't know which one I had.
You probably had the Delta.
Because if you had an October, is this when you had it?
I think so.
Yeah.
You probably had Delta.
I had Delta and then I also had Omicron and Omicron was, but again, I had
antibodies from
Delta.
Omicron was, I couldn't believe it was COVID.
I mean, I had, I had like sniffles.
Right.
And I was like, really?
And then the next day I was negative.
I tested negative the next day.
I was like, this is crazy.
Did you do all the same shit or you just kind of let it?
Same shit.
Yeah.
Vitamin ID, IV drips, monoclonal antibodies, everything.
Yeah.
That's the ticket I think is the monoclonal antibodies.
I went to try and get them, but it was, it was like 1200 bucks or something.
And I just went.
Well, they're supposed to be free.
They're free in a lot of places.
They were free in Texas.
They were free in Florida.
I don't know how the health system works here and I don't know what I've got.
I'm not a citizen.
I don't know what I'm allowed to do.
Are you illegal?
Are you, are you married yet?
Did you get married yet?
Uh, I am.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So you're legal now.
You're, you married an American.
Good job, by the way.
Thank you.
You chose wisely.
I had a, um, I had a green card before that.
So, cause I came here on what was an 01 working visa.
And then, uh, after three years or something like that, you can get the green
card.
Is it hard for a comic to get a working visa in America?
Yes.
It's hard for anyone to get a working visa.
But I think as a comic, like, there's not that many of us.
It's not that you have to, uh, it says on the form, you have to prove that you're
an, uh, alien of exceptional ability.
And you can do a job here that no one else can do here.
So you have to prove, this is what it says.
I had to prove to the government here that me not being here was an injustice
to the, uh,
entertainment industry.
Like, I, they were, you know, doing.
Well, if you want someone to tell comedy about being from Australia and moving
to America,
there's you and Jim Jeffries.
That's it.
That's it.
It's just us.
Who the fuck else is out there?
There's a few, but not that are touring around as much as like Jim and I are.
And, and, you know, there's a couple in LA and probably New York that I don't.
I don't know anybody else, but you guys.
There's a couple in LA that are, that are, that are good, but you know, they're
just.
I believe it.
Yeah.
I mean, as far as like people that I'm aware of.
Yeah.
It is.
I know you and I know Jim.
Jim and I are the only ones who are touring around the country.
So they should probably shut the fuck up and give you a green card.
Well, they did, but it just, it took a lot of time and money.
How long did it take?
It just took money.
Yeah.
That's what it is.
It's a business.
Yeah.
It's a whole industry.
It was like, it was like 20 grand all up.
Whoa.
Yeah.
Nutty.
Really?
Yeah.
For the O1 and the, and the green card combined, I spent about $20,000 to, to
live here in the
land of the free.
Is it for lawyers?
Like, what is the 20 grand?
Yeah.
I'm including everything.
It's lawyers.
It's a, I had to fly back to Australia to go to the consulate there to get the
thing and stuff.
So I'm including all of that, all the bullshittery.
You had to fly back home, get some paperwork.
They can fax that.
Some people go to Canada or Mexico and just get out of the country and do it
there and stuff.
But it was just easier for me to go back home.
Do people still fax?
There's three people that still fax and they just fax each other.
They go, hey, you still got the fax machine?
And he goes, yep, got it.
I remember, I think I had an app on my phone that faxed like during the early
day.
It might've been on a Blackberry.
No, I might be making this up now.
I think maybe it was an Android phone.
Is there our fax apps?
Is that correct, Jamie?
Am I making this up?
I think you're right.
Like docu-send type things or something.
Docu-send is like, oh, that's different than docu-sign.
Docu-sign makes me laugh.
Every time I have to docu-sign something, because I just click on this little
thing.
Yeah.
And it just says my name and it's not my real signature, but it's like a fake
version of my signature.
It's one day I've generated.
But like, I'm doing this for like giant deals.
Like big, important things worth a shit ton of money.
And I'm just like, click, there's my fake signature.
Click, there's my fake signature.
Is this your signature, sir?
What is that?
Like, when are