Name: Joe Rogan Experience #1796 - Ali Siddiq
Uploaded: 2022-03-24T00:00:00.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1796 - Ali Siddiq' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-03-24. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1796 - Ali Siddiq' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-03-24. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #1796 - Ali Siddiq

Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out.
The Joe Rogan Experience.
Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day.
What's happening?
What's happening?
How are you? Good to see you.
Man, good to be seen, man.
Glad you're here.
You were telling me about the gauntlet you've been running with masks.
Oh, man.
I don't know if people know,
but it's harder for people that's in the business right now
than regular civilians if you're doing any type of work.
You mean show business?
Show business, yes, because they want a mask on you.
As soon as you finish delivering your lines,
they want you to put that mask back on.
Before you go to makeup, they want you to...
Man, it's insane.
Is it standard, though? Is that like every production?
That's every production.
Really?
They are masked up.
But it doesn't have to be a good mask.
No, it doesn't have to be a good mask.
So it's just a gesture?
You could use your sleeve, just cover your face.
Just as long as it's over your face.
Can you have a bandana like a bandit?
Yeah, like you could just pull up.
You don't need your shirt.
Just put your shirt over your face.
Oh, it's so stupid.
They need you to have the mask.
And I understand people catching...
I don't know if people believe as much as they did.
Like, I'm willing to cross the line a lot now.
Since I'm...
Once I knew how COVID was, it's like I had COVID in the beginning.
Like full-fledged.
You had it longer than anybody I've ever known.
I've never known anybody who tested positive as long as you did.
It was like 30, how many days?
32 straight days.
That's crazy.
When I heard negative, I was like, I was so elated.
Like, what?
Negative.
And I think once I've had it, and I had the full blast.
Like the shotgun to the face when it was new.
They didn't even have a vaccination.
Didn't nobody know what to do.
No medicine.
No tricks.
You couldn't even listen to people who didn't even know what they were talking
about.
They didn't even know what to say.
Like, man, I don't know what to do.
Like, I can make up something, but I can't even really...
I don't know.
The bleach.
When he said the bleach, it was like, eh, possible.
Right.
And I was in that room long enough to be like, yo, if this lady leave this
cleaning supply bucket by me, I'm going for the bleach.
I'm taking it.
You never know.
You never know.
She can work.
Now, any variant I hear about now, I feel like it's weak.
Like, okay, come on.
Come on.
Come on, new COVID.
They are weak now.
I got the new one.
The new one was nothing.
It was nothing.
I couldn't believe it was COVID.
I came in here, I had a snuffly nose, and I was saying to the nurse, just
joking around, maybe I got it.
Maybe I got it.
She's like, you're not going to fucking believe this.
You're positive.
I'm like, what?
I go, this is COVID?
This is the new COVID?
It's so weak.
The new COVID?
The new COVID is like the new NBA.
It's like the new NFL.
It's like so soft.
It's like, okay, LeBron, hey, I'm not going to say he's not going to end up
being the greatest player, but it's still going to be that if you didn't play
against the bad boys or the Knicks, I'm still doubting your toughness.
I'm still going to doubt it because basketball is soft now.
You can travel.
I watch most people.
You can travel?
Oh, my.
Have you watched basketball lately?
Not lately.
Yeah.
Oh, watch basketball.
What's going on?
Everybody takes, because, you know, standard basketball.
Right.
How it was invented.
It's like, once you catch the ball, you have two steps and you're supposed to
be in the air.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Let's give, just for showmanship alone, we'll give you, we'll give you at least
six.
Come on.
Oh, man.
Really?
The Joker, yesterday he got a bounce pass.
It was like step, step, step, and then jump.
Like, that's travel, sir.
But it was an open dunk.
Give it to him.
LeBron travels all the time.
Really?
Everybody who you think is great, if the referees, that's why I don't even, if
somebody complains
to a referee, I'd be like, really?
He's let you get away with like 19 bank robbers and he calls you for one.
And then all of a sudden you like, man, are you insane?
But if it was old refs, remember the old, the old white guy that everybody used
to get
mad at, but he was, but he was a real ref.
Hey, that's a foul.
You can't, you can't do that, sir.
That's foul.
Can't, hey.
So you took 24 steps.
What you want from me?
But now it's like, oh, flagrant.
You out here cursing, sir.
No, no, no, no, no.
But you are.
I let you travel.
I let you push that man down.
I let you DDT a man.
I let you DDT a actual human being.
And I never called anything.
Sir, you hanging on the rim.
You went in the stands, ate popcorn, came back.
I never called anything.
This is a flagrant.
I don't follow basketball, but why, why, how come rims stopped breaking?
How come the backboard stopped breaking?
Because remember Daryl Dawkins?
Oh, that was, he.
To jump up and smash those things.
The game was over.
It was glass.
They're not glass anymore?
No, it's plexiglass.
And then they had these, you know, remember when Shaq, Shaq pulled a whole,
like, Daryl Dawkins broke the glass.
And, you know, he's a big man coming up.
But Shaq, he brought down the whole entire rim, like the shock system, like he
came down.
And then they reinforced all that.
They got better.
They like, no.
Have you seen Shaq lately?
I haven't seen Shaq in person in probably about five or six years, in person.
The last time I saw him in person was probably eight months ago.
But I saw him on the internet yesterday, and he looks fucking great.
He's got a six-pack.
Shaq's lost a shitload of weight.
Shaq's got a six-pack?
He's got a six-pack.
How old is Shaq?
50.
Oh, yeah, I got to do it now.
I got to do it.
I'm 48.
I know I done trimmed all the way down.
Six-pack got to be next.
Because I can't let Shaq have a six-pack ever in his life and me not have one
right now.
You should see it.
See, find the pictures of Shaq lately.
Like, he changed his diet.
Stopped eating bullshit.
Works out every day.
Shrimp.
He's like, trimmed his body down.
He looks good.
I hurt my hand, so it had stopped.
You see how that knuckle's like, this knuckle's way up.
Look at him.
Look at that.
It's as if you could see it.
Yeah, it's coming.
I mean, it's not-
But look how big he looked, though.
He's so big.
Shaq looked diesel.
I ain't even-
Oh, I got to go in.
I think there's pictures of him that look better than that.
Well, I'm just-
I know.
I got to go in now.
Like, I thought I was going in, but I'm about to definitely go in.
Yeah, there you go.
Looks pretty fucking good there on the right.
That may be photoshopped.
That looks a little fake.
That one looks a little fake.
That's why I was trying to be careful where I was looking.
His face not matching his body.
The ones that I saw was him working out.
It was-
Oh, it was that image down there.
You see the image of him doing the chin-up in the lower left-hand corner?
Right there.
See that?
Lower left-hand corner.
Drop right below that.
Below that.
To the right.
To the right.
The one of him doing it right there.
Right there.
Click on that.
That's what it was from the New York Post.
So, it had all these images of him looking.
So, he quit eating sandwiches and quit eating bullshit.
And so, they had all these images of him working out.
He lost a shitload of work.
He put no nice.
He hot.
Got to work as sponsors.
Oh, yeah.
Dude, I was watching you work out.
You can box.
I got a little something.
You can box.
I was watching you throw your hands.
I was like, he knows what he's doing.
Got a good trainer.
How long have you been doing it?
From, I don't count little.
Because that's what old men go back.
You know, when I was younger.
Right.
So, we're going to say a year.
Just back in the gym.
Trimming down.
Getting back in it.
And start.
Because I wanted to fight Cat Williams so bad.
Really?
Yeah, man.
I just really wanted to just.
Why do you want to fight Cat Williams?
Because he did some shit.
And then when he said that he was a person that started celebrity boxing.
And I said, cool.
Since you started celebrity boxing, nobody's ever seen you fight.
So, since you started, why don't you fight somebody who wants to fight you?
Like, he said.
He called out Kevin.
I think Kevin will win too.
But why don't you fight somebody who want to actually fight you?
And that's the difference.
Like, I would fight anybody who actually wanted to fight me.
No problem.
Let's fight.
Especially if I want to fight you too.
But Cat.
I got a problem with Cat.
I just do.
What's your problem?
Some shit that he did, man.
Like, I don't like people not being a man.
When you got something to say to me, just say it to me.
Right.
Don't do no shit like telling people I can't come in the arena.
And I just performed.
And you holding me out the arena?
What?
And they paid me outside?
What?
And then you never talked to me about it.
But the problem I have with that is when somebody, when we was in Shreveport
and somebody was about to fuck you up, I intervened.
I didn't let you sit out there like that.
I intervened.
How did this all get started?
Like, what was?
So, what happened, I'm performing with Cat in Houston at the NRG arena.
We do two shows, two different days.
And then I'm, the second day, I go outside to see one of my friends named Ghetto.
He outside.
I'm talking to him.
So, I get ready to come back in the arena.
The people, the security at the arena, they all locked arms.
And I'm walking in.
They're like, Ali, we can't let you back in the arena.
I'm like, what?
I'm in my hometown.
Like, y'all know me.
Like, there's people who know me.
They're like, can't let you back in the arena.
But my stuff's still in the green room.
Like, first of all, I don't know what's happening.
Like, what happened?
Let's go to that point.
Like, why can't I come back in the place that I just walked off?
Like, what's going on?
So, Carl, this guy who works for Cat, comes in and he's talking over the people.
Like, he's talking over their shoulders.
Like, can't say he don't want you back in the arena.
And now I'm like, who the fuck is Cat to tell me I can't come in the arena?
That you just work then?
Yeah.
Like, but the thing is, I don't know what the fuck is going on.
Right.
And you can come and say, hey, man, I got this type of problem, X, Y, and Z.
Man, if you don't mind.
I ain't got no problem with that.
But you don't, you can't direct somebody in my city to put me out.
Like, man, do you know who the fuck I am?
Like, for real?
Like, for, like, this, like, all the rest of that other shit out the way.
Like, do you know who the fuck I am?
Like, for real, for real.
Like, in these streets.
Like, that's the fucking problem with me.
Like, and then you.
But I don't understand.
Like, what?
There was no dispute?
No.
You have no idea why?
It's like me walking out of this room right now to get some water and come back
in.
And he said, Joe, say he don't want you back in the studio.
So no explanation.
But Kat's known to be crazy.
Still to this day, I have no explanation for this shit.
He's a funny motherfucker.
He is funny as shit.
But he's known to be crazy.
And it's part of why he's funny.
I mean, he's just out of his fucking mind.
It's like this.
You can be known to be something that you're not.
Not crazy.
You don't think he's crazy?
But when you do shit that you think that you don't have to answer for.
Like, it'll be a space that we'll eventually be in.
Like, this is the danger in the shit.
Because it's like this.
Because I know better than to leave something fucked up in the streets.
I know better than that.
That's like a street rule.
You don't ever leave something unsettled in the streets.
Because you never know what that person, how that person feels about that shit.
Benny Blanco from the Bronx.
That's the, people always got to remember, in Kalito's way, you fucked up Benny
Blanco.
And you threw Benny Blanco down them steps and all the rest of that.
Cool.
And you remember me?
Benny Blanco from the Bronx.
And blew his brains out.
I don't