Name: Joe Rogan Experience #1802 - Protect Our Parks 3
Uploaded: 2022-04-07T00:00:00.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1802 - Protect Our Parks 3' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-04-07. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1802 - Protect Our Parks 3' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-04-07. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #1802 - Protect Our Parks 3

Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out.
The Joe Rogan Experience.
Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day.
Yeah, they're back.
We're rolling, officially.
What?
Protect our parks.
It's here.
Holy hell.
Because we have one less.
It's time to protect our parks.
So from the time of Protect Our Parks, we officially have lost one park.
We have lost one park.
So we're not protecting shit.
We've done zero saving of parks.
Everyone says you have a big reach is wrong.
Because you protected O for one park.
Not only did it, it became the opposite of a park.
They built a fucking jail on it.
They're going to.
Did they really?
The jail?
Yeah.
I just saw signs like, hey, we have to tear down the rest of it too.
But they're not jailing anybody.
The thing about New York is they're letting everybody out.
They let some guy out for murder.
He just shot somebody and they let him out with no bail.
And everybody's like, what the fuck is going on?
Who did he kill?
I don't know.
They arrested him for murder.
It was like this outrage article.
He'll beat up an Asian lady soon.
That seems to be the pattern.
They get out of jail and just beat up Asian ladies.
I feel horrible for these women.
Quit hanging out outside of prisons.
Yeah.
That's a wild take, right?
People that think that all Asians are responsible for COVID.
So you just go up to Asians and punch them.
They're not.
When it gets down to the lowest level reaction to a crisis.
I see a lot of people today that are really pissed at Russian people.
Boycotting Russians.
There's some restaurant here.
They're not sending money back for the cause.
Russia House.
Cut the Russia off their name.
What?
And now it just says house.
Remember when we made French fries and our Freedom Fries?
And we're like, we're doing something.
We're fucking idiots.
What a dumb fucking place we left.
How about the dummies that pour their vodka down the toilet?
Okay, stupid.
You already bought that.
Drink it.
They have your money.
How about have a free vodka party?
Give it to a refugee.
There you go.
I was in Salt Lake when it started.
And they had like a law.
They were like, we're banning Russian vodka.
The club owner was like, what the fuck?
It's not state run.
This is all my money.
It's so dumb.
Exactly.
What are you talking about?
I already bought it.
Yeah.
What about Russian dressing?
Not only that.
It's just fucking people.
Imagine if you're like some hardcore lefty communist.
And you sell something.
And then they say, oh, America.
America's bombed fucking Yemen.
We can't sell American products anymore.
So your American products now are useless.
Yeah.
That doesn't make any sense.
You'd be like, what?
I'm Toms of Maine.
I give money to homeless.
Exactly.
I'm Ben and Jerry.
I'm a communist.
What the fuck are you talking about?
I'm a Jew with no sense of taste.
That communist flavor is pretty good, though.
Ben and Jerry's.
It's just vanilla.
Something's there.
What is a communist thing?
There was something there, but that wasn't it.
Let's punch that up.
What's a communist?
You can't report on the flavors right now.
They're all working together.
See, I don't know anything about communism.
So I couldn't write the joke.
It would have to be a joke where you buy ice cream for everybody.
Talk to Yoko Smirnoff so he can come up with something for you.
In communist Russia, ice cream, eat you.
That's right.
What are you doing?
How come my little sign isn't on?
It's shortened out.
It was off and not on earlier.
I'll try to fix it.
Oh, because it's shorted a little bit.
Yeah, yeah.
I was pressing buttons, but it was changing the color of the UFO.
I'm a child.
You love aliens.
You love your gadgets.
Gadgets.
I'm obsessed.
Not illegal.
I'm obsessed with aliens.
I like them too.
All right.
Well, I was obsessed with alien aliens from other planets.
Yeah.
What's going on with them?
I think if Russia starts launching nukes, I think they'll probably show up.
Yeah.
Hey, aliens.
That's a wrap.
It's time.
Yeah.
You guys fucked this up.
We've been observing for too long.
We've got to step in.
They saw it the first time and they were like, well, the Japanese had it coming.
They saw the first one go off and they were like, nice.
They're closest to us.
So let it happen.
That's when there was the big uptick in UFO sightings.
That's when it all started.
What?
It was after Hiroshima and Nagasaki.
Yeah.
What do you mean?
That's when all the UFO sightings started to happen.
That's Roswell, New Mexico.
That's the ones over DC.
All the big UFO sightings happened after the nuclear bombs.
What's the connection?
The thought in the conspiracy, the crazy people, like who knows what they're
really seeing,
right?
They could be all full of shit or crazy.
But the thought is that the aliens are coming to observe because they realize
we now have nuclear
weapons.
So they've decided to make a trip.
To Earth to see what these fucking crazy monkeys with nuclear weapons or
territorial, what
they're up to.
What they like having sightings at like missile silos and shit.
Not just sightings, but they shut down nuclear facilities, like nuclear weapons
facilities.
They shut them down.
They shut their computers off.
Because they're going to come out of wild shit.
I think they're basically letting you know, like, watch what we can do.
We'll just shut off all your power.
The aliens, man.
Yeah, hover over your facility, shut everything down.
But who knows if it's true?
Unless you're there.
Oh, it's true.
Unless you're there.
I mean, there's some things that I've seen, some videos that I've seen that are
fucking
wild.
Like the fighter pilot videos, or they're watching this thing move at an insane
rate of speed.
I saw that.
But other than that.
That was Tony's career.
Who knows?
It's taking off.
It's a compliment.
It's doing well.
The cattle mutilations, they never solved it.
It's complimenting Tony's career.
Cut it out.
What?
I knew you were going to come on here and be a nasty son of a bitch with your
fucking
bad suit.
You look like the diddler.
I can't believe that suit wasn't the diddler.
You look like a Jewish pedophile.
Hey kids, you want to buy some candy?
You mean a Jew?
You mean pedophile?
I can't believe that suit just fits you perfectly.
And you found it at a thrift store.
Thrift store in New Orleans.
It's perfect for you.
Oh yeah.
It's like the exact size and you're in odd shape.
You had to get that tailored.
Come on.
Zip.
I go to a tailor, not this one.
I wore it on stage in New Orleans.
I tried it off and I'm like, oh yeah, I got to do something.
Wait, what show?
A couple of years ago.
Oh, okay.
Oh, this is old.
It's like two years old.
Oh, I thought you just got it.
Right before COVID.
I had to bring something to the Comedy Story anniversary.
He actually hung on to that suit.
Oh yeah.
It cost me 60 bucks.
I'm not made of money.
That's even past what Stanhope would wear.
That's beyond.
Yeah.
Stanhope would have different pants.
He'd have pants that didn't match.
It's like a rich, quick suit.
Remember that guy, Matthew Letzko?
With the riddles?
With the riddles.
Oh, that's right.
Matthew Letzko.
What's he doing now?
Why has he not been on this podcast?
Oh yeah.
Get him on.
When are you going to stop working for the state?
He's probably rich as hell.
Get this guy on.
Probably.
I think my time for the state is almost up.
I have a couple more years I have to put in.
Him and that Asian guy on the boat.
Remember that Asian guy?
Like, you want to be rich like me?
With all the women around.
Yeah, I've got pussy for days.
Fuck, I don't remember that.
What was his name?
Oh, there he is.
Oh, there's Ari.
It's been two years with better hair.
Matthew Letzko.
Letzko.
Yeah.
Where's he today?
Free money.
There's free money out there.
You can get free money.
It's Grant's.
This guy was big.
It's Grant's.
I wrote the book on it.
Do you think he's poor now?
Oh, yeah.
No way.
I think he's got a house.
He's on fentanyl.
He's probably dead.
How long ago was this?
Yeah, let's find out.
When this infomercial came on, it was, like, exciting.
I thought about doing it.
Where is he?
Where is he, Ari?
Where do you mean?
Find him.
He's 78 years old.
He's on YouTube now.
All right, let's click on his YouTube channel.
All right, too.
Instagram.
Oh, my gosh.
Wow.
He's got an Instagram post.
Wow.
4,000 followers.
He looks rough.
Oh, he's gone trans.
Mortgage payments.
But look at this.
It also includes utility payments, homeowner insurance payments, property taxes.
What do you think?
Jewish over under.
Internet.
I think 98%.
You tell me.
So, he doesn't have any followers.
He looks like the Queen of Mean.
He's like a gay David Lynch.
Who's the Queen of Mean?
I don't remember her name anymore.
Lampanelli?
Lampanelli.
Lampanelli.
He looks a lot like Thin Lampanelli.
That's right.
She calls herself the cleaners.
Didn't she retire?
Yeah.
Lampanelli retired from the video that went around of her having a meltdown.
It was very strange.
Oh, that was bad.
What was it?
Yeah.
Somebody's heckling her, and she got real serious.
She snapped on stage.
Events center.
Not even an event center.
Like a town hall or something.
Whatever it was, she was angry.
Like, you know, where a comic crosses that line.
You're like, yeee.
I don't need this.
I don't need that shit.
The Michael Richards effect.
There's something about that line.
Like when Will Smith slapped Chris Rock, Chris Rock talked to Will Smith, and
then he went
back to the script.
Yeah.
When he went back to the script, it was like, oh, this is wild, because you're
watching one
of the best comics in the world bomb.
Because that's bomb.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He has to bomb.
With that one joke, he bombed, because he's in an impossible situation.
There's no way anyone's just going to transition to the fact that you're doing
a documentary.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You know, awards.
Right.
It's like, we all just saw that.
It's like if a waitress drops a tray of drinks, and you're like, and then later
at the supermarket,
I went.
Exactly.
It's like, what's wrong with you?
The thing about him, though, like, getting slapped, and literally no one does
anything.
No one does anything.
The whole room is like.
No security.
It's like a funny bone.
Staring at you.
It's terrifying.
I mean, they've had to seep in, too, though.
It's like, hey, you know how you're in Hollywood?
You're not.
That guy's in Hollywood.
Yeah, true.
You're a visitor.
You're a comic.
Yeah, we don't support you as much as we support them.
Well, they don't even support him.
They just were lost sheep without a shepherd.
Like, oh, what is happening here?
I mean, I wouldn't have done anything.
I would have been sitting there like, yo.
Holy shit.
That was crazy.
Well, how about the fact that they gave him a standing ovation later when he
went up to
talk, and he actually accepted an award after assault, and he gets a standing ovation.
And no one's even going, like, kind of sitting down, going, like, what?
No one in the crowd is going, I don't know.
No, they clap.
They're fucking sheep.
He just hopped on board.
I think if it wasn't black on black, it would have been different.
I think that makes it.
More fun.
Oh, yeah.
If it was, like, a white guy slapped Chris Rock?
Oh, my God.
No, no, no.
If they're both white.
What if Chris Pratt went up and slapped Chris Rock?
Wow.
Could you imagine?
What if it was Danny DeVito?
Could you imagine?
Yeah.
No, it would have to be someone big like Will Smith.
Will Smith's a big guy.
Oh, yeah.
If Chris Pratt did it, he's done.
Oh, my God.
No, he's definitely not getting an award later.
You've got to claim drugs.
You've got to say pills.
That's the only chance.
Turn trans.
Turn trans.
Oh, that's not bad.
You've got to go non-binary.
Yeah.
Pick up swimming.
I still think it would have been different if, first of all, Will Smith's in
the front
row and there's no stage.
He could walk.
If he had to shimmy out of, like, the fifth row, I think it would have been a
different
dynamic.
If he was like, Will Smith, come on down.
Yeah.
Then all the way down.