Name: Joe Rogan Experience #1808 - Dan Soder
Uploaded: 2022-04-23T00:00:00.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1808 - Dan Soder' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-04-23. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1808 - Dan Soder' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-04-23. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #1808 - Dan Soder

Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out.
The Joe Rogan Experience.
Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day.
All good, Dan Soder, all good, we're up and running.
What's happening, brother? How are you?
What's up, Joe Rogan?
Very nice to meet you, officially.
Very nice to officially meet you.
I've enjoyed your comedy online.
Thanks, man.
It's nice to see you in person.
Friend of a friend, of multiple friends.
You're in the tight group of excellent people.
Yeah, thanks.
You respect it.
Yeah, I got a lot of funny friends that are also fucking weirdos.
Yeah, well, I don't know a funny one that's not a weirdo.
Yeah, show me someone that's funny and they're not going to be, you know.
They can be quiet, but they're weird.
Everyone who tells jokes for a living is fucking weird.
Psychos and phonies.
I said that to Santino.
We're all either psychos or phonies.
Is there any phonies that are good, though?
They get found out.
Yeah, there's only psychos.
No, the phonies, they can trick you for a little.
Because you've got to have a little sweetness in it.
And then they whip it into, you know what it is?
It's an awes.
The phonies are awes.
They have the big, booming voice and everyone's like, oh, and then it's just a
guy behind a curtain.
And you're like, fuck.
Well, the scary for the phonies must be when they get caught stealing jokes.
Because then they have to write all their own jokes afterwards and they don't
really know how to do that.
That's hard.
It's the hardest.
To do writing jokes.
It's the hardest.
Coming up with premises, fleshing them out, trying to figure out the right way
to do them.
Seeing people with better jokes.
There's nothing more of a dick pusher in than seeing someone with a great bit.
And you're like, oh, fuck, that's so good.
Especially on a subject that maybe you were thinking about talking about.
And then this guy has this fucking perfect bit about it.
You're like, oh, my God, I missed it.
I was just in Nashville and I saw Chris Porter do this bit about people that
are worried about being chipped.
I'm not going to give away the bit.
But I watched it and I watched the angles and he got off stage and I was like,
I was mad at you by like the third tag.
By the third tag, I was like, who the fuck is this guy riding a damn near
perfect where like the thought, it's not where you thought it was going to go,
but it makes the most sense.
You're like, fuck, dude.
God damn it.
Now you got to go back to your hotel room and hate your act.
I got to hate my act for a week.
There was a fucking company in Europe that was chipping their employees and for
normal shit, like getting into a door and like buying something in the commissary.
But that European attitude, they're like, oh, it's fine.
I just chip in as the door opens.
If the door opens, it's no problem.
I go get my little espresso and I come outside.
I'm chipped.
Yeah, don't.
It's always that European attitude that makes me feel like, are we as Americans
overly paranoid or are we right?
That's why like when that Klaus Schwab guy talks.
Yeah.
I don't even know who that is.
You could have made that name up.
You don't know who that guy is?
That sounds like a made up name.
Oh my God.
He's the head of the World Economic Forum and he dresses like a bad guy in a
comic book.
Hell yeah.
And I'm not kidding.
If you have that, I'm telling you, if you're that kind of power, do that.
Why not?
Do that.
Yeah.
Honestly, I think you should lean into like, you should start advertising
yourself as like
a Bond villain.
Think about it, dude.
You got the compound in Texas.
You know karate.
You're already a Bond villain, dude.
And then you just, then you can just sit in a chair and be like, Jamie, pull it
up.
The world must pay me.
Do it, dude.
Yeah.
I wish that was a real thing, but this guy is a real thing.
Dude, I can't wait to see this guy.
Check this guy out.
Now, let me show you what he looks like though.
Can you say his name again?
But let me, Klaus Schwab.
Now, but let me show you what he looks like with his crazy outfit on.
Damn, dude, he's a basset hound.
Oh, there's a lot of pictures, but Klaus Schwab superhero outfit.
Put that on.
Just type that in Google.
Klaus Schwab.
Because he looks like a fucking superhero.
Like a bad guy.
Like a super villain.
Don't you?
Oh, dude, there it is.
Is that a bolo?
Oh, no.
Look, what is this?
What is that?
Space Federation.
You will never have your freedom.
Yeah.
Leave and control your chips.
He looks like he makes pod people.
Imagine walking out of the house with that on going, oh, yeah.
Honey, do you have my weird insulated vest?
What is that?
Where's my bro?
Is that a brooch?
Is that like the Patagonia type material?
I bet.
Look at the fucking thing.
Look at the whole thing.
Oh, my God.
That makes me think he's worn a mask at an orgy.
Oh, for sure.
If you're wearing that in public, you're putting on deer antlers and a robe and
fucking someone.
You're going to Bohemian Globes.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You're going.
Yeah, you're one of those guys.
You're in a marble room fucking a lady that worked at Twin Peaks.
Bro, what is that outfit?
Jamie, get that photograph, and we're going to make a large metal print of it
for the studio.
Hell yeah.
I think we need that.
Klaus.
Klaus Schwab.
I am Klaus Schwab.
But when you hear him talk about the young global leaders of the world economic
form, you're like, oh, my God, you're a movie guy.
You're a character.
You're a living villain.
You're a living villain.
And lean into it.
Well, he's a guy that's like-
He should have a henchman.
Supposedly, if you follow the conspiracy theories, he's like orchestrating the
Great Reset.
He even wrote a book about the Great Reset.
And then there's like conspiracy theories.
What does the Great Reset mean?
You know, they're talking about like some sort of a financial reset.
It scares the shit out of me.
Nah, live comic book life.
Make it weird as fuck.
I would say if you're going to do that, give the conspiracy people what they
want.
Just a little bit.
Don't actually do the bad shit.
But like have a photo of you with like a goat sacrifice.
Dude, I would pay.
If I was Klaus Schwab, I would pay a lot of money.
A lot?
To have a lot of money and then dress a person up as an alien and somehow leak
a photo of us shaking hands and then just drop it on Google and then watch
everyone be like, what the fuck is this?
Yeah, you'd want to drop it through like some German website.
Yeah.
Yeah, like or a defunct paper.
Yeah.
And you're like, oh, this is weird.
I found this old picture of Klaus Schwab in a gray.
That's the problem.
It's like as much as we complain about like the New York Times, the Washington
Post, imagine if all of your news just came from websites.
Look at it the other way.
Look at it the other way.
If it was all, it's all a thing that someone could build in a day.
Yeah.
Like the New York Times, you can hate them what they are, but that is an
institution.
Yes.
You know, they have offices.
Yes.
They have a payroll.
They have a history.
Yes.
You can just have a website drop a picture of Klaus Schwab in a thong with a
gray and it's going to be like, where did this come from?
But then the internet, the internet does what the internet does best and they
take something and run with it.
Oh, yeah.
And so then it would just be on.
Yeah.
There's going to be conspiracy theories about why Mike Tyson lit that dude up
on that plane.
You know what I mean?
That's real simple.
That dude was a douchebag.
Can you see the other video?
He was annoying one of the baddest motherfuckers that's ever walked the face of
the earth.
Talk about kicking a beehive.
What the fuck are you doing, dude?
That's so dumb.
That's not even kicking a beehive.
It's like smashing, it's head-butting a beehive.
It's like trying to put your dick in a sleeping bear's mouth.
Like he just walked up and was like, I'm going to lower my wiener right into
the bear's mouth.
Mike Tyson, also there's a video that came out of the angle of him talking to
someone and he's like talking shit in a way where you're like, this guy's
hammered and doesn't know what's coming.
Because I bet in his head he's like, he won't punch me.
He can't punch me.
I bet he's a guy that thinks Mike Tyson's hands are registered lethal weapons.
He strikes me as that guy.
By the way, I saw the guy's shape and I was like, that guy would kick the shit
out of me.
That was a thing that people would always say, right?
He had to register his hands as deadly weapons.
I think I said it.
I've spread that around.
I've been putting out that propaganda.
Be like, you know they have to register their hands as lethal weapons.
I'm that.
That's my level of dumb.
Where you tell me that and I'm like, I knew that was true.
I wonder if it's a state thing or a federal thing.
You start worrying.
You're like, is that a county or a federal thing?
That's one of them old school karate dojo things.
That's what that is.
I loved it.
I mean, you were doing karate in the 80s.
You were actually doing karate.
But what's funny about the 80s is people just put on outfits.
You've seen that a couple times in your life.
Like kung fu outfits, yeah.
You've seen that a couple times in your life.
Because you know what I always think about was UFC when dudes would just rock
affliction shirts.
Oh, yeah, man.
And I lived in like-
Silver foil writing.
Yeah.
I lived in Tucson in the early 2000s.
And you'd just see big dudes in affliction shirts.
And here's the thing.
I'm not going to test that theory.
There was the style.
Yeah.
And they would like super gelled up hair.
And they're just mean mugging everyone.
I was rocking liquor t-shirts and shitty dungarees.
I was like, dude, I ain't got to see if this guy knows how to fight or not.
I don't give a fuck.
Those are the early days.
That's when things were wild.
Affliction had their own promotion.
Yeah, I remember that.
They got Fedor, didn't they?
Mm-hmm.
I remember that.
I worked at K-Rock in New York when Stern left.
They like turned it to Free FM.
And then they brought it back K-Rock with Opie and Anthony.
And I was doing like overnights.
And I bought-
I somehow got that Affliction fight on the TV in the old O&A studio.
And that felt like-
I was like, dude, this is better than working.
I'm getting paid to watch this Fedor.
I mean, it was a quick fight, but-
Yeah.
He fought over there a couple times, right?
He fought Tim Sylvia.
Yeah.
I think he fought Andre Olofsky over there, too.
Yeah.
He was fun.
Was that Affliction?
Were they both Affliction?
I don't know.
I know the Sylvia fight was Affliction.
They spent a lot of fucking money, man.
They went crazy.
They tried to go crazy.
I knew one of the owners.
Shout out to Mr. Atencio.
He's a cool motherfucker.
They're cool people.
I also just had the realization that I'm talking to Joe Rogan about this.
Like, we were just having a conversation.
I'm like, I'm talking to a guy that actually knows these people.
It's like a bar talk where you're like-
Yeah, but I do that, too.
I know.
That's what-
Yeah.
The Sylvia one was-
Yeah, that's it.
Tim Sylvia was a quick one.
And so they had two events.
2008.
Shout out 2008 for me drinking beers in the K-Rock studio.
They might have had more than two events.
Yeah.
But they definitely had those two.
Did they have more than two events?
Does it say?
How many events did Affliction MMA have?
I think it was just those two.
And that fucked them with-
They were high level.
I mean, that must have fucked them with the UFC.
Just being like, hey, we're going to do our own fight promotion.
And you're like, what's up?
You know, the UFC's like, good luck.
That's what Dana-
Good luck.
I mean, Dana's super competitive, obviously, but they were never worried about
it.
They were trying to get Fedor for a long time, so it was kind of a bummer.
He was one of those guys, you want to talk about, like, villainous, that they
built up online,
and they were like, you got these guys fucking, this Russian-
Did you ever watch them fight?
Oh, yeah.
It was g