Name: Joe & Tony Debate Golf vs. MMA
Uploaded: 2022-05-05T19:11:38.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe & Tony Debate Golf vs. MMA' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-05-05. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe & Tony Debate Golf vs. MMA' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-05-05. Transcript available.

The Joe Rogan Experience. I forgot you guys are competitive. Let me tell you.
Oh, yeah. Jamie's been whacking that ball, son.
Jamie's got a spooky drive. But what Jamie knows is that it's not exactly a
test of strength.
I mean, he can hit the ball very hard and very far. Does it make you jealous?
No. It should. No, because we're not talking about- It makes me jealous.
And I don't even play golf. A big part of the game, Joe, is where you hit the
ball. Yeah, yeah, you can get that eventually.
Exactly. It's like if somebody kicked really hard, but they didn't kick you.
Yeah, but no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
The smile just went off. What he's saying is how I approach martial arts.
I learned how to kick hard first, and then I learned how to kick people.
Kick hard first, then you figure out where to kick them.
Well, you kick hard first and kick fast, and then it's about closing distance
and fainting.
Golf's a little bit different. No, no, it's less complicated.
Kicking someone's way more complicated than the ball that doesn't move. Shut
the fuck up.
Don't ever say that.
There's not a chance in hell that it's easier to hit a golf ball that it's not
easier to hit a golf ball than it is to kick somebody.
There's not a chance in fucking hell.
You know how smart golfers are and how dumb fighters are?
You know.
You don't know what you're talking about.
What I'm saying is it's super difficult to kick someone.
It's super easy to hit a golf ball.
Whether you hit a golf ball perfectly, that's a different story.
How do you mean it's easy to hit a golf ball?
Because it's right there.
It's not moving anywhere.
It's right there.
Well, neither is the bag that you're kicking.
We're talking about a person.
Kicking a person.
That's what we're talking about.
That's what you're saying.
Like, fighters are dumb.
Like, to be able to close the distance and land.
Fighters are dumb.
I'm just saying.
No, they're dumb compared to golfers.
He said dumb fighters.
Not all fighters are dumb.
You don't think that Stylebender is smarter than John Daly?
You're out of your fucking mind.
I mean.
You're out of your fucking mind.
They're both.
No, that's a tough one.
I bet he could survive a night partying better than Stylebender.
Well, of course, Stylebender is healthy.
I mean, that's not a diss to Stylebender.
I'm just saying, John Daly is all there.
He's got a lot of great stories.
Very funny guy.
Very present.
No brain.
Zero brain damage.
A lot of liver damage.
No hangovers.
Doesn't feel hangovers.
Ever?
Ever.
How's that possible?
That's what he said.
I was going to show you the video earlier.
I don't.
That's what he's got.
He's a professional.
Isn't it amazing?
He avoids sugar.
You can be a full-on alcoholic and excel at golf.
Doesn't that throw your fucking idea of intelligence and strategy and all that
away?
Like, you don't even have to have control of your body.
You can be an alcoholic.
Okay.
The greatest fighter of all time is John Jones.
I rest my case.
Yeah, but John Jones never showed up high.
You don't think...
You're so funny right now.
This is like our pro wrestling talks.
When you take a stand on something, you will say the craziest stuff.
John Jones has shown up and fought high.
When he fought Gomi, he was high.
They suspended him for a long time.
He tested positive through the roof of his marijuana levels.
When he fought Gomi, he was high.
He got Gomi in a gogoplata, which is a crazy move to pull off in MMA.
Super fucking rare.
If you watch how he sets it up, he gets hit by Gomi.
I think Gomi even fractured his cheek.
He goes into the guard.
Gomi was a fucking powerful puncher.
Because Gomi would throw punches the way a pitcher would throw a fastball
because he was a baseball player.
So Gomi had like that whip from throwing basketball, baseball rather.
Did I say basketball?
I said baseball, right?
Like he would throw a fastball.
And he would apply that whip to punching.
And he cracked Nick and had this big fucking cut on his cheek.
His cheek swole up.
And they went to the ground and Nick wrapped him up in a gogoplata.
And put his arm trapped in one leg, shin underneath the neck.
And then Gable grips behind the neck and pulls down on it.
It's death.
It's a crazy move to get somebody in in the first place.
Even crazier when you're high as fuck.
And he was fighting high.
Yeah.
Wasn't that sort of the same thing?
John Jones to Cormier.
I beat you after a weekend of cocaine.
The double champ.
Well, that was the week before.
He said a weekend of cocaine.
He didn't beat him after.
He didn't like do cocaine that week.
He did it the week before the fight.
And on top of that, he wasn't fighting on coke.
Nick Diaz was fighting high.
John parties a lot.
Yeah.
But if you look at John without a shirt off and you look at John Daly without a
shirt off,
you're not making any confusion.
I mean, yes.
If we're having a beauty pageant.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
If you want to decide, hey, one of these guys is an athlete, and one of these
guys plays a game drunk, which one do you think it is?
Yeah.
You got me there.
I mean, I don't think that he's not awesome at golf.
He's a fucking amazing golf player.
There's no doubt about it.
I've watched videos of John Daly playing.
He's incredible.
I think it's just amazing that a guy could be, like, known for being addicted
to essentially a drug and just on it all the time and plays on it.
Smokes cigarettes and drinks Coca-Cola.
Drinks Diet Coke, like 16 Diet Cokes a day.
Yeah.