Name: Joe Rogan Experience #1821 - Bert Kreischer & Tony Hinchcliffe
Uploaded: 2022-05-19T00:00:00.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1821 - Bert Kreischer & Tony Hinchcliffe' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-05-19. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1821 - Bert Kreischer & Tony Hinchcliffe' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-05-19. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #1821 - Bert Kreischer & Tony Hinchcliffe

Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out.
The Joe Rogan Experience.
Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day.
So explain, so bogey, what's the best, what's a pro level golfer?
Scratch. Scratch is if you're paring.
So Santino's like pro level?
No, so pro's different, so he's not playing from the tips.
Oh, by the way, cheers, gentlemen.
Cheers. Cheers.
Cheers, gentlemen, I miss you guys.
So we should talk about how this podcast came about.
Not me and Bert.
Bert and I got stem cells today at Waste Well, shout out to Brigham.
And then we got something to eat, got some barbecue, and we were driving,
and I see this yellow Corvette, and I go,
is that the great and powerful Tony Hinchcliffe?
It's me at a red light.
And I go, what are you doing?
He's like, nothing, chilling.
I go, come do a podcast with us.
And so we're here.
I saw the car, and I was like, goddammit, that's a Carly-Anne wanted.
It's a fucking badass car.
They're dope.
You guys are cool with cars, man.
I wish I had better taste in cars.
Move here.
You will.
It happens naturally.
What's wrong with your taste in cars?
I am an old man.
I liked a sedan, a big-bodied sedan.
Sedans are nice.
With a nice, cool, dark interior.
Ooh.
Yeah, like a chocolate interior.
You know what you should get?
I will.
A new Cadillac.
So the car I wanted that I really liked was when they came back out with the
Continental.
Oh.
They came back out with the Continental.
I said, that's my car.
I went and drove it, and it didn't feel solid to me.
Well, get a Mercedes.
I got a Mercedes.
Do you?
Yeah, I got the whatever the one is.
You got the S-Class?
Yeah, I think.
I don't know.
I'm not a...
You don't even know what you have.
I don't even know what I have.
I know it's the big one.
You know, the big one.
The big one.
But like I said, one time I told someone it was AMG, because the wheels say AMG.
Right.
And then they were like, and I fucked up, and it turned into a drunk fight.
Like, bitch, you didn't get an AMG.
And I was like, yeah, I think I did.
I don't know what it says AMG.
I don't know what the fuck I have.
Right.
So I just got it.
Tom's guy got it for me.
So you just don't have any interest in cars.
You wish you had an interest in cars?
I do, because I look at, like, it looks fun.
Like, it looks fun.
Like, when getting in your car today, I was like, that would be fun to have
this.
Yeah, it would be.
You should get into cars.
Is it getting in the way you're drinking?
Like, what's the...
Well, number one, I don't drive much, because I do drink.
Right.
So I never have driven to the store.
So as I heard someone talking about the parking rules at the store, I was like,
who drives to
the store?
And I literally said that.
I was like, I get an Uber to the store.
Right.
I have some cocktails.
Right.
And I Uber home.
I'm really a stickler about drinking and driving.
Good for you.
That's smart.
I don't drink and drive at all.
That's smart.
Well, yeah.
And so, like I said, I wouldn't mind a Sprinter.
Sprinter van.
Yeah, and have a driver.
I'd like a driver more.
We talked about, Jamie and I talked about, yes, Jamie and I talked about taking
one of
those Sprinter vans and turning it into a mobile podcast studio.
Steve-O has that.
Does he?
Yeah, Steve-O has it.
Steve-O's podcast is pretty fucking awesome.
Yeah?
He does good fucking interviews.
There's a thing.
Smart guy.
Yeah.
He's a smart guy and he has this thing where he kind of, I don't know if it's
his past life
of not seeing consequence, but he doesn't have a problem asking a very
uncomfortable question.
And he doesn't have a problem telling a good story that may be too much.
He was telling a story about him and Pontius sharing a chick one time.
Steve-O with Joey Diaz.
He's got Joey Diaz in there.
Yeah, he's great, man.
And he's like, one of the best two Bears guests, Bears we've ever had is Steve-O.
Really?
Yeah, I showed him my dick.
That made it a good show.
It was fucking, Steve-O's like fucking crazy like that.
Like he's fun.
Yeah.
He's just a fun dude.
I'm amazed at how healthy he is considering all the shit that he's done.
I mean, that guy has beaten his body up in a way that very few people have.
And still he's okay.
He seems fine.
He's walking around.
That's crazy.
Yeah.
He's brilliant.
I watched his special that he made and he mixed in actual like his own written
jackass style
stunts into his thing, into his standup.
And like there's like parts where it goes back and forth.
And he does some of the funniest jackass style stunts I've ever seen.
He does this one where he's bicycling around like an actual pro bicyclist.
But instead of wearing the tight black shorts, he just painted.
He just painted his entire like penis and balls and up to his knees blatantly
black.
And he's talking to people naked.
He's naked.
He's naked.
And he keeps crashing his bike right around people.
And people are like, oh my God.
And they want to like catch him and stuff.
And then they see it.
It's so funny.
He brought me over to his house.
When he was doing that, he was like, hey man, would you come over to my house
to help
me with my special?
And I was like, I don't understand what the fuck he's talking about.
So I go over and he's got his special, but his special, he's also got these
great clips.
He's got a clip.
He tells a story on stage about swallowing an ounce of marijuana in Europe and
it getting
stuck in his throat.
And then him having to go into the, I'm not going to tell his own story.
It's his special, but he's got some fucking crazy stories.
And I'm sitting there watching it going like, really thinking, I mean, I should
have done
this.
Why didn't I do this for Travel Channel?
I have great stories of Travel Channel and show the footage, tell the story.
It's like, really good.
He's a solid dude, man.
I'm glad he got sober.
He's one of the guys who go, I'm glad he got sober.
Yeah, me too.
And then I look at people that got sober and I get bummed out.
Like Brad Pitt.
I'm like, I wish you still partied.
Didn't he get sober though because of his relationship?
Like, wasn't that probably one of the reasons why he was drunk?
Like, she was mad at him.
Yeah, I guess.
I don't know.
I don't know him.
Tommy knows him.
They're buddies.
There was like a thing where, like, something happened on a plane.
Or private jet, they had to stop to emergency stop because he was...
He was too drunk?
Yeah, I think his...
I'm not going to speak for Brad Pitt.
I'm trying to get out of the business of talking shit about people.
Really?
Dude, I've done it a lot.
It's boozing.
Yeah, I know.
Once you start boozing, the lips start flapping and the words start flowing
freely.
Like last night at the Vulcan.
Yeah, that green room was a hot tea.
Hot tea was served.
I love a good gossip session.
I do too.
It's important.
But there's so much gossip flowing around these days.
It's intense.
It's almost like too overwhelming.
Yeah.
Like you look at some of the gossip going around and you're like, I'm going to
need like half
a day to sit and watch like four podcasts to figure out what's going on.
I just can't.
I'm so balls deep into this Amber Heard, Johnny Depp podcast.
It's not a podcast.
You know, the trial.
I can't stop.
Yeah, my dad.
I can't stop.
My dad too.
I was watching today.
Today, her attorney said, I'm doing my best.
And she took a deep breath.
Her attorney, her attorney is in the middle of the whole thing.
She's like, I'm doing my best.
In the middle of like questioning.
Oh my God.
She's just giving up.
She's like, this is fucking done.
Like, I've got a crazy person as a client.
Yeah.
I don't know anything.
I know that she said that he beat her up and he said that she beat him up,
right?
Well, he has recordings of her admitting she beat him up.
There's no recordings ever of him saying that he beat her up.
There's no evidence that he beat her up.
There's no images of her battered and bruised like she said.
She said he punched her in the head and then the next day there's photos of her
and there's
nothing wrong with her.
And he always wears rings.
And that's one of the things they confronted her on.
They said, Johnny always has rings on all of his fingers.
Where are the marks on your face?
She's insane.
The best part, though, was her lying about donating the money to the ACLU and
the Children's
Hospital.
She said, yes, I pledged the money.
And they go, no, you said you donated the money.
I did pledge the money.
No, you said you donated the money.
That's not true.
That's incorrect.
I did.
I pledged the money.
And she keeps saying that I pledged the money.
Like, she's a literal insane person.
Like, she's nodding.
See if you can find that clip and play it because it's so bonkers.
So let me get this straight.
She is the whole reason this is happening, correct?
He is suing her for defamation because she wrote a whole article saying that he
beat her
and she kept coming out and saying she's a victim of domestic abuse.
It's 100% a smear campaign.
And so, theoretically, she could have just said, hey, it's not working out.
Can I have $100 million?
I'll go my own way.
I don't think she got $100.
She got $7.
Oh, yeah.
He wouldn't have given her $100.
Or whatever.
Why don't we give her $100?
I don't know the laws.
They weren't married for that long, man.
She got $7 million, which is incredible.
I'm not sure if this is it.
I just wanted to make sure before we play it, sort of.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
All right.
You just play it right there.
Give me some volume.
You're a liar, making it impossible for me to move on.
Look at her face expressions.
By doing so.
Yeah.
So that I wanted the truth.
I wanted him to clear my name and to leave me alone.
I've been saying that since 2016.
So why did you donate $3.5 to Children's Hospital and $3.5 to ACLU?
Well, I pledged the first half, or $3.5 to...
No, this is the wrong one, because this is her attorney.
You want to get his attorney, which is a woman.
Her name's Claire.
And she was cross-examining her and crushing her.
It was hilarious.
It's hilarious to watch, because she's saying, stop.
That's not what I said.
That's not what I asked.
I asked, did you, in fact, not donate the money?
She says, that's not true.
I pledged the money.
That's correct.
She kept saying, I pledged the money.
And she's saying, that's like...
And then she made this analogy.
She said, when you buy a house, you don't pay for it.
All at once, you get a mortgage.
And it's like, you're not buying a house.
You're donating the amount of money.
She goes, well, I couldn't, because Johnny sued me.
And then they said, but Johnny didn't sue you until 18 months after you got
that money.
It's so wild.
She's so crazy.
Yeah.
Is this the right...
Yes.
Yeah, yeah.
Back it up a little.
Back it up a little.
That's correct.
No, back it up.
Back it up.
That's correct.
You stated you would be donating...
Full power to you.
So in October of 2018, you had received your entire $7 million divorce
settlement.
You agree with me.
That is correct.
Okay.
That's good.
Right here.
And you hadn't yet been sued by Mr. Dapp.
So in this October 2018 interview, you said that you had, quote, donated, end
quote, your entire
divorce settlement to charity, right?
That's correct.
And in fact, your exact words were, quote, $7 million in total was donated to,
I split it
between the ACLU and the Children's Hospital of Los Angeles, end quote, right?
That's correct.
I made that statement as soon as I got a divorce and we reached the settlement.
That's when I pledged it, right then.
Pledged it.
And you say this because you, quote, wanted nothing, end quote.
That is correct.
But you hadn't donated your entire $7 million settlement to charity at that
point, had you?
That's incorrect.
Here it goes.
Sitting here today, Ms. Hurd, you still haven't donated the $7 million divorce
settlement to
charity.
Isn't that right?
Incorrect.
I pledged the entirety of this settlement, $7 million to charity.
And I intend to fulfill those obligations.
Ms. Hurd, Ms. Hurd, Ms. Hurd.
That's not my question.
Plea