Name: Chris DiStefano's Story of Being Expelled From School on 9/11
Uploaded: 2022-05-24T17:20:13.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Chris DiStefano's Story of Being Expelled From School on 9/11' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-05-24. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Chris DiStefano's Story of Being Expelled From School on 9/11' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-05-24. Transcript available.

the Joe Rogan experience and then Wednesday all of school is closed so you
know I'm just thinking about shit what how what's gonna happen on Thursday if
school opens all schools closed and all New York City schools were closed and
then Thursday morning I got a decision to make because the principal had said I
was kicked out so I was like you know I'm just gonna walk I'm just gonna go to
school so I go back to school and I try to walk in like nothing happened I was
like maybe they forgot about that's a national tragedy and then brother Rob is
right there he goes to Stefano get the fuck out of here you're still
expelled I was like alright I mean the country's at war now I mean my mother
fell off the bus in Brooklyn you're still gonna expel me and he was like you're
expelled I was like how's Frank he was a jerk spelt I was like okay so I'm like
shit my mother's all upset of course she's still shaking from 9/11 he has many
people were I'm like I gotta call my dad and again my dad great guy my father
really great guy but you know a street guy like a Bronx real street guy so I
call
my father for a pay phone and I'm like dad you know I'm sorry like I let you
down
but I you know on Tuesday I was just worried about my mom and this kid started
laughing at me I was crying and I broke a chair over this kid Frank's head and
now
they threw me out they threw me out of school and he goes uh he goes did
anybody see
you do it I was like yeah I did in front of the whole class he was like okay he
was like um I'll be down there in about 30 minutes I was like you live on he
lives
in Staten Island you know traffic to Queens at 9:30 in the morning would take
like two hours to get there somehow he shows up in like 45 minutes where I'll
never forget wearing like a New York Yankees batting practice jacket like a
saw like a Dunkin Donuts coffee huge chain on just ready to go and he goes um
you do
everything I tell you to do I was like okay so we you need a meeting with a
principal you know of a school especially any school but we walk into the
principal's office to the secretary and the secretary is like can I help you my
dad's like yeah I got a meeting with the principal and she's like you're not on
the list sir he goes I'm going in and then he just opens his door and the
principal's on the phone and my dad goes can I speak to you can we speak to you
I'm
Chris's dad and the principal's like um you need a meeting sir and he goes and
your son's expelled and he goes uh okay and then he hangs up the principal's
phone
he just puts his fingers on the receiver and he goes you're not on the phone
anymore so we can have a conversation and I was like oh my god so so true so I'm
just sitting there like okay this is bad so my dad goes very calmly my dad goes
listen he goes my son allegedly hit somebody in the head with the chair and
brother's like it's not alleged we saw it he goes it's allegedly you don't have
cameras in here do you and he was like what he was like no but there's
witnesses and
the kids in the hospital he goes I'll take care of the kid in the hospital don't
worry about the kid in the hospital he goes you can't throw my son out of
school you just can't do it and then my brother Rob is like we have to throw
your son out of school he just hits put somebody in a coma and he goes no he
goes listen you're not going to throw him out of school it was a national
tragedy he
got emotional don't worry about it and he goes don't throw him out of school
and
brother said brother Rob says I'm throwing him out of school and there's
nothing you can do and then my dad rolls like a wad of hundreds at brother Rob
and
he goes don't throw him out of school and brother Rob goes you're gonna bribe a
man of God and my dad goes I lost God September 21st 1979 that's like a date
that's like burned in my head I'm like what the fuck what does that date mean
and
then look back he was in prison at that time so I'm like I don't know what
happened maybe there was a shower situation maybe something went down I
was like I'm not gonna ask my dad but I was like September 21st 1979 wow like
he
said that shit quick and with full eye contact no blinks I was like all right
dad you got you should go to therapy but whatever we're here now so so my dad
says
to brother Rob he goes listen he goes don't throw my son out of school okay
there
has to be another way let's talk like gentleman there has to be another way and
then he says to my father he goes sir are you stupid or something he's expelled
from
school and then my dad looks at me and he looks at brother Rob and he goes
Chris did
he did he just call me stupid and I was like you know it sounded like a dad but
you know
he's he's a man of God I'm sorry I was like no no habla no habla ingles and he
goes um
do me a favor Chris lock the door and I was like what he goes just lock the
door and so I got up and
locked the door I didn't know like what else to do I was like oh I was like I
felt like I'm fucking
gonna get hit here too like my I've never seen my dad like there's just angry
so I get up I locked
the door and he goes you really offended me with the words you've chose to call
him to call me because
it really hurt my feelings actually he goes so now you have two options he goes
the second option
really sucks for you I would choose the first he goes the first option just put
my son back in school
okay easy breezy no problems ass I'll sign whatever forms you want he goes back
to school he goes the
second option and again this one sucks for you he goes I'm gonna come over
there I'm gonna break both
your kneecaps and he goes you may think I heard that line in a movie he goes I'm
one of the guys they
write the movies about he goes I will this is funny he goes I will call 9-1-1
right now he goes
I will give them my address my social security number whatever he goes because
I'd rather go to
prison for the rest of my life and be back with my friends then you throw him
out and me have to
listen to his mother's fucking mouth for the rest of my life that he got
expelled from school he goes
so either way I'm in jail I'd rather be with my buddies so the choice is yours
and then white as a
ghost brother Rob is like okay well let's let's put him back in school and he
goes simple easy breezy he just
kept saying easy breezy my dad I was like stop saying easy breezy so he kept
saying easy breezy
and my dad and he goes uh he goes what we'll do is he gets detention before and
after school
and he's thrown off the basketball team does that work for you and brother Rob
was like that works
for me and I was like that doesn't fucking work for me I want to play ball I
don't want to go to
detention and my dad's like no you hit somebody it's not good he goes who I
didn't raise you to be
that way I was like you just threatened to fucking kill somebody in front of me
what are you talking
about and he goes I didn't raise you to be that way and then that's what I did
my senior year before
and after school every day um no basketball and my father and brother Rob
actually became like
friends at graduation they were shaking hands friends everything was all good
and it was one
of those things where like my dad he's not that way anymore but growing up like
my dad was just that
guy he was like right intention wrong move is the best way I could describe my
father and