Name: Joe Rogan Experience #1834 - Ari Shaffir, Shane Gillis & Mark Normand
Uploaded: 2022-06-21T00:00:00.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1834 - Ari Shaffir, Shane Gillis & Mark Normand' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-06-21. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1834 - Ari Shaffir, Shane Gillis & Mark Normand' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-06-21. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #1834 - Ari Shaffir, Shane Gillis & Mark Normand

Joe Rogan podcast, check it out.
The Joe Rogan experience.
Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day.
I might have to take a shit in the middle of this podcast.
Yo, it's great.
Nice to take a break.
We won't trash you while you're gone.
I might take a shit.
Are we ready?
Oh, that wasn't on?
That should have been the opening.
That was the opening, man.
That was gold.
Was that, were you recording when I said that?
Yeah, but I don't know what camera was on.
That's fine.
I'm just telling you, if I leave in the middle of the podcast, I'm like, oops,
be right back, boys.
I shard my pants in the pool yesterday.
I just want to let everybody know that I, did you?
Yeah.
He sharded in the pool?
No, right next to it.
He had a burglar.
It was like, and I just sat there.
Oh, no.
Where was this?
Hotel?
Yeah.
It sounded like an old car.
Oh, no, that's not a good place to shard.
Actually, it was great.
That's a respectable establishment.
You get back in the pool.
I did not get back in the pool.
He let it wash itself out.
He gave it a quick wipe.
It's a giant bidet.
He gave it a quick wipe.
I had that tight underwear.
It kept it all in.
The sheath underwear.
It kept it all in.
Is this number three or four?
Protect our parks.
Four.
Four.
Four.
Gentlemen, come on.
We're fucking rolling here.
We're rolling here, boys.
Woo!
Hey, mazel tov, dickless.
Here's the problems.
Because they're coming.
Oh, that's strong.
All right, I'm keeping track.
You guys always give me shit about not drinking enough.
You don't get fucked up at all.
This is one cup of Buffalo Trace.
You've been partying with the Chrysler.
Yeah.
Has that, both of you have been partying with the Chrysler?
No, he hasn't yet.
He's about to go.
I've done it in the past, but I'm going next week on the fully loaded.
I can't wait.
It seems like you're losing hair here.
It's the reverse hit.
Don't worry about it, dude.
It's the reverse hit.
That's how not racist I am.
He hiles like this.
He goes down.
What is going on with this?
Did you do that on purpose?
Don't worry about this.
You're going to do it on purpose.
It's very Asian.
It's like an old Asian guy.
It's reparations.
Fu Manchu.
He should be sitting on a box peeling something.
It's like John Wayne when he played Genghis Khan.
Oh, that was great.
That's the closest they get to Asians, so like, eh.
I'll tell you what.
I'm on a roll all the way to Beijing.
Have you ever seen John Wayne play Genghis Khan?
They didn't even try.
No.
They didn't even pretend.
He's just a white dude.
He's like, I'm Genghis Khan.
Put some eye makeup on him a little.
There's a couple of Andy Rooney, was it?
He did the Breakfast at Tiffany's.
Oh, hello, all that shit.
Oh, did he?
Yeah, it was bad.
They didn't use Asians, so they just had Whitey do the voice.
What about the guy who played the detective, that old school detective?
There was a white guy who played a Chinese detective.
Do you remember that one, Jamie?
What that was called?
Oh, my God.
Mickey Rooney.
It was a very famous...
Wow.
There he is.
Oh, Mickey Rooney, not Andy.
Wow.
Look at that.
Mr. Yunyioshi.
That was the best picture.
Charlie Chan.
Do you guys remember Charlie Chan?
Yeah, I remember.
Charlie Chan was like in the 1950s, I think it was.
There was a guy who played like the smartest detective, and it was a white guy
who played...
There it is.
Completely white guy who they fucked with his eyes and made him look Chinese.
Whoa.
That's fucked up.
Yeah, they used to do that.
They used to do that.
Where you at on the trans?
You know, you can't play a trans person now unless you're trans, which seems
weird.
You should get a fucking pass if you suck a dick.
That's all you got to do?
But a lot of trans women still have sex with women.
That's true.
And they keep their dicks.
They're lesbos.
Which I recommend you keep your dick.
Yes.
You know, I've been paying attention to the operations.
I went down a rabbit hole because I had a guest who had a friend who had an
operation, and it was a disaster.
They transitioned, and then she started explaining to me all the issues that
happened with it,
including, like, growing hair inside, because they tucked inside, and then you
grow hair inside.
Oh, boy.
Probably feels good.
I mean, I don't think so.
And then what?
Oh, stubble.
Yeah, and then she turned me on to this video of this person talking about all
the infections that they get
because they've had the operation, the transition operation.
So they recommend, like, she was recommending, like, keep, you know, you could
still be a woman.
Just keep your cock.
Have you watched trans chick with dick porn?
Because it's pretty great.
Have I not watched it?
It's pretty good, because you get the dick and two women.
Yeah, but then you're kind of whacking off to somebody with a dick.
Yeah, that's an issue.
Aren't you always?
Uh-huh.
Aren't you watching a guy fucking a girl?
No, I'm not really.
Unless you're watching Scissor.
It's the least gay of porn, because you've got a girl.
Exactly.
No, no.
Same amount of dicks.
Fucking a girl.
Same amount of dicks, added tits.
Yeah, it's double girls.
Double tits.
Yeah, it's double girls.
Not judging, but then you're whacking off to a guy with a dick's tits.
I'm okay with that.
That's fine.
But you're not.
Don't look at those.
You look at the other tits.
Yeah, but then what's the point of enjoying that?
Look at the other tits.
It nullifies the argument of, oh, two tits.
But wait, what if it's a fat guy fucking a chick?
There's also double tits.
It is annoying when they focus on the dude too much in a porn.
That's how John Burnett died.
Right.
And you're like, get off that.
Go to the chick.
Like, why are you showing his face when he comes?
Like, ew.
Oh, that's a buzzkill.
Yeah, they kind of got rid of that.
They kind of got rid of that.
I don't know.
That's so true.
What is that?
Who made that choice in the director's cut?
Maybe the guy wants his time.
Maybe he's like a sitcom star.
Like, I'm not getting enough screen time.
Yeah.
It must be them.
They're a production company.
Oh, that's probably it.
I have the best cum face.
Everyone should know.
Because, like, those are the people that made all the money.
It's like the people that produced it.
I used to have a guy in my neighborhood.
He lived right down the street from me during the golden days when they sold
DVDs.
This guy was balling out of control.
He had a fat Mercedes, lived in a beautiful house.
And he was making all this money.
But then, no, no, no.
He was making his own.
He was a producer.
Oh.
But then digital came along.
The internet came along.
And took the fucking legs out of that company.
Oh, yeah.
That business went kaput.
I mean, the government bailed out all kinds of companies.
There was never a peep about bailing out the porn industry.
Yeah.
Interesting.
Good.
But everybody's pretending.
Porn is a weird thing.
People pretend they don't watch it.
Yeah.
But it's literally billions of people watching it.
The biggest company.
Billions.
The biggest industry.
They show the views now.
My mom doesn't watch it.
It's like 8 million, 9 million.
Every video.
Yeah.
A 65 percenter gets 8 million.
And you can share porn.
Yeah.
Look at the views on a YouTube video versus a YouPorn video.
Pull them up.
They must be off the charts different.
Like, unless you're watching a Justin Bieber video, which gets giant numbers or,
you know.
Hundreds of millions.
Yeah.
Something like that.
But just for an average video, what are the odds?
I mean, what's the difference?
The difference must be gigantic.
Yeah.
There's no, like, 10,000 view.
Right.
Exactly.
Yeah.
Yeah.
There's a lot of, like, 2,000 view videos.
Did you ever get a porn and it just went up?
You're like, 250 views.
And as soon as you're done with it, 4 million.
Right.
But how do they make money?
It's all free.
I don't know.
And there's millions and millions of videos.
Well, no, no, no.
I think porn websites probably make money by selling your data.
Oh.
I think when you.
Maybe.
That's not good.
Premium subscriptions and selling your data.
Data is a thing that nobody saw coming, but it's one of the biggest commodities
in the world.
Huge.
Because they figured out a way.
Like, have you ever, like, seen, like, when you use a browser, like, Brave
browser or something like that,
and it shows you how many people are trying to track you that it blocks?
I've never even heard of that.
That's terrifying.
Oh, my God.
It's crazy.
It's wild.
I do private browsers only now.
It's a good move.
Brave is my favorite.
Because every time you go to my kayak and try to, like, you're like, oh, you
look at prices.
And then you go back a minute later, it's like, it's up.
Because they know you just searched, so, like, you want this trip.
Right.
And you're like, come on.
Also, they curate your searches.
That's one of the, we found that out during the pandemic.
Like, I was looking, there's a doctor that, he died right after taking the jab.
And I went and I was trying to look up the story, like, what his deal was, did
he have a previous heart condition, like, what happened?
I could not find it on Google.
I researched the guy's name on DuckDuckGo, instantly found it.
Wow.
Whoa, what does that mean?
They're hiding it.
They're hiding the data.
Whoa.
They curate the search results.
That's 100% true.
They curate search results.
And at least when they say the first one's like, ad, ad, ad, you're like, all
right, at least you're saying the ad thing, so I know what you're doing.
But then it's like, what they'll allow to be seen first.
And they do it with Lyft and Uber.
You go to Lyft and you're like, oh, that's too much.
Let me check Uber.
And they know where you're going already.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Scary.
Yeah.
Damn.
I didn't know they were doing all that.
Oh, they're all in cahoots.
It's convenient in some ways.
It's convenient in some ways.
Like, the ads represent the things that you're interested in.
Sure.
So it's like, oh, I need those shoes.
Oh, perfect.
But in another way, it's like, how the fuck do you know I need those shoes?
You know what I mean?
But it's also like, it doesn't allow you to be exposed to other kinds of shoes.
Right.
So like, you can't broaden your horizons ever.
But it's more effective for the advertiser.
Yeah.
You know, like, if you're selling, say, like, workout equipment and there's a
guy who's constantly
looking up CrossFit classes, that's the guy you want to sell to because he's
the guy that's
interested in that shit.
So it's very effective for the people that are advertising.
But it's, the problem is, it's like, they're selling your data and they're
making fucking
untold billions of dollars and they're also influencing elections, influencing
policy.
They're doing all this stuff with the money that they get from your data.
It's a very sneaky thing because nobody ever saw it coming.
We all thought, you know, you go Google something.
Oh, it's just a free way to find out what the answer to my question is.
But you didn't realize.
Because it used to be that way.
Yeah, you didn't realize that you are actually the commodity.
You're the thing that's valuable.
Yeah, apparently Johnny Depp put a lot of dough into social media and that
helped everybody
realize that Heard was a coos.
Wow.
I don't think that's what happened.
Oh, oh, that's what I heard.
I donated.
Do you feel bad for her at all?
Well, she lied.
She definitely lied.
Yeah, I feel bad for anybody who gets in that.
It's like, they're both losers out of it.
How did she get drawn into that?
Does she have to go to court?
No, I mean, did she have to do that?
She had to.
Oh, okay.
He sued her.
He sued her for defamation.
She said he hit her.
She wrote an article, which turned out she didn't write the article.
The ACLU wrote the article.
What?
Yeah.
The ACLU ghost wrote the article in exchange for her donating money that she
never gave them.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That was good.
She pledged it.
Pledged.
Pledged.
Pledged is not a promise.
It's a cleaner.
Did you see that woman interviewing h