Name: Joe Rogan Experience #1838 - Brian Simpson
Uploaded: 2022-06-30T00:00:00.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1838 - Brian Simpson' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-06-30. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1838 - Brian Simpson' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-06-30. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #1838 - Brian Simpson

I appreciate that you're committed to this fucking Android thing I have a lot
of friends
that uh they send me the green text and every now and then one will show up
blue they give up
and they jump on the iPhone train I'm like interesting I can't do it man no why
what is it
about it I hmm because it's one of those things where I'm so into my tech and
shit yeah and if you if I go
iPhone then I got to go Apple everything why because that because that's the
that's the whole
advantage of going Apple is that it all just works together so well because
they're on their own little
ecosystem you know what's the advantage of not going Apple customization okay
but you you're not are you
using the phone with other stuff does it integrate with other stuff the way an
iPhone does because I
have I have a Samsung phone Samsung tablet Samsung watch you know and if I go
iPhone then I got to get an
Apple watch I got to get an iPad you know what's better um have you fucked with
Apple stuff oh yeah
yeah yeah yeah I used to I've had iPhones yeah but I just oh so you went
Android after you went iPhone I
went I went Android iPhone Android iPhone Android oh see back and forth huh
yeah I went back and forth but at the end of the day it was just like
I stuck with it because Android is more you know on top of like some of the
latest like Apple won't do anything unless they can do it
in a way where you where it goes oh that's Apple you know what I mean like like
the fucking headphones
right like that they would they would not come out with headphones until they
could do something where
you like when you see it you know that it's not something else right you know
it's an Apple device
right same thing with Apple watch that's why it's shaped weird it's because
yeah they want you to
look at it and go that's enough that's enough that is true because the Samsung
one some dude had one
the other day on it looked like a regular watch go that's a dope watch what is
it he's like it's
galaxy watch and I thought it was a regular watch and he goes no you can change
the screen and he's
like fucking with it but it was round yeah yeah right but it just looks like a
watch that Apple
don't want that you know yeah but it but it I love I do love the way all Apple
shit works
together but it's like they call it a walled garden yes everything's beautiful
and
garden but you try to do some shit outside like here like because an Apple does
all these little
they do all these little shitty tactics to facilitate that right so so the
whole green
bubble blue bubble thing that originally came out like you remember back when
you had to pay for
texts no yeah they used to charge for text messages how much did they charge I
don't know it was like
you know five cent a message or they would give you a bundle or some would come
with your plan
and Apple created iMessage and the and green was supposed to represent a text
that you paid for
and blue was supposed to be one that was free because it was in the Apple
network and then right after
they invented it it that kind of went away there was no all the text messages
are free but they
noticed that there was a little bit of that there was a little snobbery there
and like so they purposely
they could fix it they could easily integrate iMessages so that it doesn't come
up different
but they won't because it it it increases that fear of missing out that makes
people want to go
I'm just gonna get an iPhone I'm tired of being left out of the group chats
perfect example if you send
me a video it'll come up blurry yeah right and that's that's an Apple thing it
is yes but if you send a
Samsung guy video will come out perfect oh yeah if I if I send you a video it'll
come up perfect
but if you send me one it'll come up blurry really yeah because they want me to
feel left out and it or
praise the person here's another example you know how when you text somebody
you you uh they can react
to it so it'll be like a smiley face or whatever right so up until recently if
if I sent you a text and
you and you hearted it right it would it would say to me Joe hearted and then
it would give me my whole
text in quotes oh and what does it do now well now Android's work has done like
a little workaround so
if that if you get a text like that it'll just put a heart underneath it okay
so I'm gonna send you
one right now yeah you'll get a little heart all right here we go oh my my shit's
off oh okay I
forgot it yeah but but so they do they Apple does that on purpose because they
want you to put the
pressure on your friends to buy an iPhone it's kind of smart it is it's genius
I'm not mad at them for
they have no incentive to work together with everybody else but isn't it also
that it's encrypted like
iMessages are encrypted whereas like text messages are not um yes that's true
but that's that again but
that's something that they they won't allow the encryption to be shared you
know because because
here's the thing that's only a thing in the u.s. everywhere else in the world
people use whatsapp
and right right all this other stuff only whatsapp's giant overseas oh it's
huge it's huge and and and
iphone is not just only well not just only here but there's only one or two
countries where it's the
number one phone really yeah that's interesting I wonder why whatsapp and all
those other things I
think it's because you could use them over Wi-Fi and so you could chat without
using your minutes
right right you use them over Wi-Fi it's encrypted it's all the things that
come with iMessage it's
its own platform do you remember when um roaming would cost you a fucking shitload
of money yeah like
if you used your phone in Connecticut you'd be doomed I remember when you had
minutes yeah you had talk
minutes yeah and it's like a lot of these kids don't get it man that's pretty
recent yeah it's not that
long I mean maybe no more than 15 years ago was it that long ago minutes yeah
well yeah night and
weekend minutes you know 7:00 p.m. over your ours are at nine ours are at seven
mmm well I
remember when I had because I used to have singular which is I think they're
part of T-Mobile now but
they singular used to be like if if I called another singular customer it didn't
use my minutes or if you
called somebody during certain hours it didn't use your minutes you know it was
like peak hours and off hours
yeah I remember that singular I remember too yeah and what's funny is it's the
same fucking network
first they told us oh well we have to charge for minutes otherwise we would
swamp the network and now
minutes are free and then they started charging for texts like it'll flood the
network we got to charge
for text and now text is free and they charge it for data and data they
actually need I don't know if
they need to charge what they charge you know whenever shit goes down and
everybody tries to use their phone you
can't use your phone ever that's what's weird like try using your phone at a
sporting event
like if you're at a like a Super Bowl or something like that yeah it's
impossible everybody's using
their phone well try calling somebody somewhere where just something happened
an earthquake or something
right yeah it's a wrap it won't work no and then that wild like if they have a
million customers like
save a self-selling just as an example just for a number they don't have to
have a million lines
available at all times no they should they should treat them like casinos like
you have to have x
amount of dollars for every person that's in the casino right in case they win
yeah because could they
accommodate everybody like there has to be 250 million phones in this country
minimum minimum yeah
probably more yeah probably as many as there are people right yeah but if
everybody wanted to call at
the same time what's the number that it can hold fuck i don't know is it local
is it like local breakers or
local i mean how does that work do you know how it works it's it's it's wild
because
there's different technologies on different networks right it's 4g and it's 5g
no no no i mean like cdma
versus i forget what the other one is but like verizon gsm right yeah gsm right
and so they so
and i want to say i think we're the only country the only western country that
where it's split that
way like you know like if you go to korea it's all one technology i think they
all use gsm yeah i
think um what correct me if i'm wrong about this too i think cdma it works
better deep inside of
buildings i'm not sure i'm not sure i think that was the the positive aspect
and that's only in this
country verizon and sprint right but we yeah well sprint just got bought but
just merged with t-mobile
oh yeah so it's getting smaller now and at the end of the day disney's gonna
own everything
disney's gonna own everything they're gonna own every thing man damn
i saw something uh direct tv is might be losing the sunday ticket for the nfl
which has been like the
biggest thing putting it together for like 30 years maybe since 1990 or
something they've had a deal
good one point five billion dollars a year why are they uh gonna lose it the
the rights end after
this season or next season and nfl is asking for three billion dollars a year
yep and you know who got
it disney there's only like three companies that can afford it disney netflix i
hope youtube i hope
google buys it and puts it on youtube because i miss because because direct tv
is trash and
the only reason anybody has it is because of the sunday ticket really nobody
owns or people that like
live in rural areas and they can only get satellite you know but but for them
but the vast majority of
their customers they're being forced to deal with direct tv so they can have
sunday ticket
because the nfl started doing started doing this like anti-fan a long time ago
when they made
um they they put out an exclusive bid for their video game so remember it wasn't
too long ago where there
was there was madden there was game day there was 2k there was you know anybody
could license and make
an nfl game and then one year nfl was like only one person gets it that's how
much it costs you know
and ea bought it and just started making a shitty game every well it wasn't
shitty every year but they
don't have any competition and then they did the same thing with the sunday
ticket they were like we'll
give exclusivity if you'll give us a billion dollars every year you know so
direct tv pays pays the
billion dollars every year and then charges their customers like 600 there's
certain things that
like anchor a network right like howard stern anchors serious yeah like if howard
stern left serious
they'd be yeah pretty much because how many people even have that now you know
what it's more people
than you think it's more people than i would think serious is sneaky famous
like garth brooke you know
that's perfect because you know what they do they bundle it they bundle it with
car purchases right
and so then you get used to hearing something and you go well you know what is
it
10 bucks a month right yeah right yeah if they can get you addicted that's a
good move that's a great
sneaky deal to have uh it integrated with cars yeah that's very smart and i
still get a check i get
checks from serious too sometimes oh yeah for like royalties yeah like um yeah
bits yeah so they they
so they might they paying it out well they were the first people to do podcasts
really like the real
first podcasts were opian anthony and howard stern because they were you know
obviously it came off of the
radio but they were the first people to do radio uncensored oh yeah radio uncensored
on serious
existed before there was the internet podcast yeah because remember back when
it was it was who was
the arrival it was serious and something else xm xm and then they merged yeah
yeah and it was it was good
it's still good and they can tell who's exactly how who's listening and how
many listens you're getting
yeah they have they know how many receivers are out there and how ma