Name: Joe & Tom on Bert's Surprising Athleticism
Uploaded: 2022-07-14T17:18:50.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe & Tom on Bert's Surprising Athleticism' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-07-14. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe & Tom on Bert's Surprising Athleticism' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-07-14. Transcript available.

The Joe Rogan experience. I really enjoyed when we did that. I mean it was a
whole different. Yeah, but like not even the challenge aspect
I mean that was cool, too
But getting into something that I didn't really do before and I I do miss it. I
do like I like the feeling of
Completing one of those classes. Yeah, we we got to get Bert on the sober
October train this year
We can't miss this one. He needs to get sober. I'm down because I want to see I
Mean he's so much more of a drunk than he's ever been before
Right wouldn't you agree he's out of control he's out of control what happens
is he you know
It's not unlike I think any buddy that maybe tours is that his wheels fall off
on tour
I mean, you know it right that happens to a lot of people you get home you get
grounded
He but he tours a lot. Yeah, what happens is you know the party guys on the
road?
It's gonna be a fucking party. Yeah, he put a post on the Instagram. He could
be texted me to telling me about it
He's like I'm gonna lose weight. I'm gonna do this
And then he goes but I'm back on the road in two weeks of my bitch. Yeah, you
ain't doing shit
You're gonna have getting jacked this month. He's gonna have one hard workout.
He's gonna be really tired and it's like I deserve a drink
There's a video of him that he put up on his Instagram and it's I think it's
from him on the podcast on this podcast
Talking about how much he loves drinking. I'm never gonna quit drinking. Oh, he's
I love it
I love it. I love when someone's he gives a couple of speech. He has a couple
of those
I know what it was from is from some let's collect the Sunday podcast. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah
Yeah, that's that's it. Yeah, where he does this really yeah, he's done on this
one, too
But on that one it yeah, he does it almost feels like a coach right right right
yeah halftime
Yeah, we're gonna win this fucking chance evangelizing. Yeah. Yeah
He does this thing sometimes where he's totally serious where we'll be together.
I'm like, how you doing like we just first sat down
How you doing? He's like good good haven't drank in a while feel good
God, you know, I go was the last time you drank he'll go
Tuesday, I'm like, that's not that long ago. That's two days ago. Yeah, this is
I'm drinking. Yeah
I will never quit drinking
I will always make sure that I can keep my body healthy enough so that I can
always drink
I love seeing a sunrise with a cocktail seeing a sunset with a cocktail having
friends walk into your house with a bottle of wine
Getting on a plane. Can I get you something double jack on the rocks lots of
rocks. I love
The moment someone says hey, we should get a drink and you and you're not
supposed to that feeling
It's like a first kiss you don't get that first kiss with kisses when you're
married
You get to have those first drinks at a brunch someone goes should we do mimosas
and then the waiter goes actually we have bottomless mimosas and you're like
This is gonna be the best day ever
Dude, you just hype me the fuck up
Yeah, yeah, it's pretty inspirational. I should speak at a meeting
He's crazy, but it's also yeah, he's built different
He really is actually really fucking hell of an athlete if he wasn't a drunk.
That's the total a hundred percent truth
like when you played him tennis fucking
Unbelievable. Yes, it wasn't even and here's the thing. He didn't really
prepare for that
And he also showed up hungover and with beers on him
Like in a in his hoodie pouch and I was like
Are you okay?
He's looking pretty hungover. Oh
What it was too because he actually has he played he was a really good baseball
player, right? He has really good hand-eye coordination
And that his serve was I'm not joking is phenomenal really his serve was
phenomenal for somebody that's also not actively playing
And he could do things like you do kick serves and like he could put spin on it
and he was serving impressive
Impressive for any like buddy who plays tennis, but especially for someone who's
not even playing all the time. Yeah
Let me see this is like give me some bottom you see if he's
Maybe but this is like him still figuring it out, right? That's that's a light.
That's not an example
Did we just start this match off with an eight?
He gets
So much and this is my fucking gay serve. Hold on
Okay, this is really bad
I can't play tennis at all so this was impressed
When when you see him actually
Served next it's
Dude there's kids around
This is so I'm sure over effect to watch but
So bad I mean this is like watching two blind people fuck yeah
When he when he got after it, I guess that though it didn't have it there
But yeah, so anyway, I had I had a tennis coach there
Like a really good player
And after the match
He's like dude. I he goes. I'm sorry because he'd coached me
I go what he goes he has a legit d1 college serve
And I go what he goes. Yeah, that is fucking
Really impressive. I had no idea wow you would have that but he does have he
has athletic gifts for sure he does if he wasn't a fat fuck
If he wasn't a fat fuck you'd be a hell of an athlete the only actually you
know that the thing that would completely change that guy is
It's obvious, but it's his it's his caloric intake right like he yes
Yeah, he's at a surplus every day, right?
It's surplus food a surplus drink if he was like I if you told him you have to
Cut this out right your life's gonna you're gonna die
He would fucking look unbelievable like the weight loss challenge when you guys
the first sober October we did was just a weight loss
But even that he did it the Burt way right which is like a cram two weeks out
He's like I'm gonna starve myself like that's how he did it. He didn't do it
like you know and did he even starve himself?
I think he just dehydrated it. Yeah, he dehydrated himself. He probably skipped
a bunch of meals
He has a skinny formula, which is what yeah, he goes. Well, you want you want
to be skinny?
Like yeah, because what you do is you drink you take a xanax what yeah
He's like you sleep all and then you wake up skinny because you haven't eaten
in like 15 hours. I'm like yeah
You could just be awake and not eat
You know what a bizarre way of handling it. Yeah, it's just his mind man. Oh,
God such a kid
Thank God. He's a comic, right? Mm-hmm imagine if that poor fuck was like some
salesman somewhere. Yeah, just be hating life waiting to get drunk
Oh, I could see him totally working at like with a tackle shop, you know, it's
like somewhere like you need bait
you need some
Get some worms here for you and he would just be
Tipping one back on the job and yeah, it's fine. He works at a bait shop, you
know, maybe maybe they'd fire him who knows
You put the worms where the fucking lures are supposed to be
Yeah, it's just like there's certain people that you can't imagine them being
anything other than comics. Yeah, for sure
He is he is our John Daly. Oh, yeah, for sure. That's definitely who he is.
Yeah, that's our John Daly
But it's but what I worry is that it's like so attached to his persona, right?
He has that thing
It's not uncommon where he goes. I don't want to disappoint people. They're
here to see the machine. They want to have a drink
They want to party with me and he's not he doesn't want to let them down, you
know
Well, he'll let them down when he dies
Yeah, that's gonna be a letdown that would suck the thing is like you can't
Live long like that. Yeah, I know nobody lives long like that. No you you live
but I
Know you're you're in a weird race with obviously. He has great genetics. He
does he does
So for drinking his genetics are fantastic. Yeah, they really are cuz he doesn't
even when he's really drunk
He's pretty fucking coherent. There's times where I didn't know and then all of
a sudden it's revealed. He's like I've had
85 drinks. Yeah
He's like I drank like these two bottles of whiskey and 45 beers. I'm like what?
And then I'll be like, oh, yeah, he's like check this out and he takes clothes
off
I'm like, okay like now, but I didn't know a moment ago when we were talking
Thank you.