Name: Joe Rogan Experience #1860 - Tim Dillon
Uploaded: 2022-08-19T00:00:00.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1860 - Tim Dillon' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-08-19. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1860 - Tim Dillon' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-08-19. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #1860 - Tim Dillon

Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out.
The Joe Rogan Experience.
Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day.
Oh, hi, Tim Dillon.
Joe Rogan, thank you for having me.
My pleasure.
Thank you for having me, sir.
I appreciate it.
My pleasure.
That was fun, going over to the club.
It was amazing.
It's going to be great.
It's going to be great.
I'm excited about it.
I'm excited, and Louie was there.
I'm glad we got him to look at it, too.
He has some great notes.
He's been, what would you say, 30-something?
I mean, you guys have been around the same time.
Yeah, he was a little bit before me, but he's got to be 35 years in now.
So he's been to every configuration of a comedy venue.
Yeah.
And so have you, probably.
So hearing you guys talk about this place and that place,
you now have all the benefit of all that knowledge to make your spot amazing.
And we're doing it from scratch.
Right.
So we could just adjust, change, do things.
Yeah.
He had really good notes today.
You have the money, you have the time, you have everything that would make it
perfect.
It's exciting.
What about Cap City's going to open, too?
They're open already.
Calen just did it.
Will you, like, do you think you would, like, threaten them?
No.
Or should we, like, would you, like, do a bomb threat or something?
No.
No, I'll work there.
Well, there should be, like, some kind of war.
No.
Nah.
No?
Who gives a fuck?
All right.
Well, I just thought it would be good.
If you're the United States, do you invade Cambodia in 2022?
Why would you do that?
Well, maybe.
They're not a threat.
That's a good point.
They're not a threat.
Okay.
So I like it.
We're in a war already.
It's no war.
We're kind of in a little.
It's a little war.
It's a minor war.
It's the opposite of a war.
It's a cold war.
It's a unity.
It's unity.
We're bringing everybody together.
Okay.
I like that.
Texas doesn't want to fight New Mexico.
We're all in the same country.
There's a lot of states Texas does want to fight.
Texas might want to fight California.
Texas and California should fight.
First, they want to fight Mexico.
California grows their own food.
They have that benefit.
Texas has the guns.
They grow almonds.
They've got some good produce.
They waste all the water on almonds.
It's a lot of almonds, but almond milk is good.
It's not.
You don't like it?
It's gross.
It's only good with sugar.
You ever have almond milk with no sugar in it?
I get the one that's like sweet.
I get like cookie dough flavored almond milk.
Oh, yeah.
No.
I don't do unsweetened almond milk.
I do like chemical sweetener.
Of course.
Yeah.
Duncan Trussell was like, dude, I switched to almond milk.
It's amazing.
I go, look at it right now and tell me how many grams of sugar per serving.
Oh, it's crazy.
He's like, holy shit, it's 19.
Yeah.
You know what I've been having some rarely, but in the Hamptons, they have like
non-homogenized
like real cow's milk.
Oh, it's great.
It's really good.
It's better for you.
Yeah.
Raw milk is better for you.
It tastes better.
It just doesn't last long, but it's not supposed to last long.
No.
It's supposed to come in a glass bottle.
Yeah.
And you're supposed to use it and then get rid of it.
Yeah.
You're supposed to have it for a couple of days and that's it.
Yeah.
That's all it's supposed to last.
They have really good, they have farm stands out there on that part of Long
Island with fresh
vegetables and then the milk and everything like that.
Oh, that's nice.
Yeah.
It feels like when billionaires get involved, you have good options.
Yeah.
You know?
So.
Yeah.
How much time are you spending out in the Hamptons?
Not a ton.
I mean, we're on the road.
We're back and forth everywhere.
But I like to go out there and just chill and swim in the pool and invite the
New York guys
out.
New York comics.
How long is that drive?
About an hour and 35 to two hours depending.
Wow.
Yeah.
So I'll have them out for a day and then everybody will go do spots at night.
No kidding.
So I'm doing a thing Labor Day.
I'll have some people out there and stuff.
Is there any comedy out there in the Hamptons?
No.
They don't want any comedy there or any tourism.
They've actually, there's very few hotels and the hotels are three or 4,000 a
night and
they're not anything great.
But what they want is to keep people out.
There's one road in and one road out.
They've done a great job of keeping regular human beings out with their fat,
disgusting
families.
They've kept them out and they've done a great job.
All the while tweeting about no human is illegal.
Right.
Love is love.
You know, we must embrace everybody.
Sure.
But what they've really done where they live and this is what rich people are
very good
at.
They're very good.
They like to live in places that are inhospitable to other people.
You know, like they put houses on cliffs in Malibu.
Yep.
Nowhere near anybody.
And out in the Hamptons, they go to the far flung end of Long Island.
They like to be away from other people.
Do you go out there?
Do you like go to parties?
Do you hang out with those people?
I went to like one.
No, I don't really get invited to parties.
I'm waiting.
I would invite you.
I would invite me too.
But I've not been invited.
I've not been invited.
I was invited to one or two parties in Austin.
I went, I like said something about them and then I was never invited again.
I brought you to the Elon party.
Yes, that was very nice.
That was fun.
I went to some tech guy's party and, you know, I made like a joke or two about
it on the podcast.
And then the invitations dried up.
You know, they're all wearing eyes wide shut masks.
Ben went back to his party and the guy gave Ben like a dirty look.
Really?
Yeah, because I told Ben, I'm like, don't go.
We're on this list by mistake.
He doesn't want us coming back.
He just didn't edit the list.
Don't show up.
Ben's like, I don't know.
I think we're invited.
I'm like, we're not.
And he showed up and the guy gave him a really dirty look.
Really?
Yeah, because he didn't want him there.
Really?
He gave him a dirty look.
That's right.
Because Ben is responsible.
You know, Ben writes my whole show.
He writes all the ad libs.
Everything that I say that seems like it's off the top of my head is written by
Ben Avery
at Ben Avery is good on Twitter, I think.
And so anybody that's upset at anything, I say I'm an actor and Ben is really
the problem.
So that's why the guy hated him.
But yeah, I don't get invited to real parties out there.
But out there is just about, you have the beach and you have like green farms
and trees
and you just chill.
Just chill.
Do you ever see Howard Stern?
No, no.
Does he go out of his house?
He has a like massive, he doesn't go out of his home.
He's got a massive estate where he just chills.
Most people there, I go out and we drive around and stuff and see stuff.
But a lot of those people don't leave their home.
So for the entire summer, they pretty much, maybe they go to one or two
restaurants.
They stay in their home and then they have like a private beach that is like
behind their house.
Yeah, you have Seinfeld out there, Stern, Alec Baldwin, my friend, who's there
to relax.
And by the way, congrats to Alec Baldwin.
That just got ruled an accident.
It did?
It did.
When?
Recently.
I thought they said that he had to have pulled the trigger.
He did.
Accidentally.
But he lied and he said he didn't pull the trigger.
People get nervous.
Taron Butler from Taron Tactical.
Yeah.
What does it say here?
Medical investigator rules Baldwin set shooting an accident.
Well, of course, he's not trying to kill that lady in front of everybody.
I don't understand why they're saying it, but that doesn't mean he wasn't
negligible.
Just because it was an accident.
What did the guy from Taron Tactical say?
It's impossible for that gun to shoot.
He showed me the gun.
I had a video of it.
I was like, I don't want to start trouble and release this.
But in the video, he has the gun.
Not the actual gun, but the same model gun.
And he's showing how the action on this works.
And he's like, it's not possible for the hammer to go forward and just
accidentally fire.
And he like cocks it back and shows how it works.
He's like, you have to engage the trigger.
And he's like showing everybody in this video how it works.
He probably had a gun.
Alec probably had the gun in his hand.
And it's just kind of fun to pull the trigger.
Right?
And if you have a gun, you go like, I wonder what this would feel like.
I wonder what this would feel like.
Isn't it fucking wild that Hollywood in general is very anti-gun?
Yes.
But they promote guns more than any other media on the planet.
Right.
All their best movies, whether it's The Gray Man or whether you're watching The
Terminal List or Mission Impossible.
It's all guns save the day.
Guns kill aliens.
Guns kill werewolves.
Guns kill everyone.
Everyone bad gets killed by guns.
That's right.
But guns are bad and you shouldn't have guns.
It's crazy.
Well, these are also the same people that live in these 20,000 square foot
homes and fly private chats, but talk endlessly about climate change.
The same people.
So it's like to really, and I get it, I get it because if they start paying you
the kind of money they make to play pretend, they start paying you that kind of
money to play dress up.
80 million a year, 40 million a year, you start to go crazy and you develop
this cognitive dissonance where you see yourself as something completely
different than what other people see and your behavior as something that's
completely different.
So they don't view that as hypocrisy.
They view it as like, yeah, guns are bad, but we can make them good.
You see how crazy that sounds?
So crazy.
But that's literally the way they think.
Guns are not good, but in our hands, they're great because we can craft a
narrative that makes them justified to have.
And that woman that lives in her house who protected herself against an intruder,
nah, that's not mission impossible.
So that's how crazy they are.
And it doesn't seem odd if you think about what they do.
They make fake things.
That's right.
So of course they're fake.
Everything they do is pretend.
And they're all fake people.
You know, we've talked about this before on this show.
I mean, actors and actresses for the most part have never met themselves.
They don't know who they are.
If they did, they'd probably not be that good at their job.
Which is, like, every dumb role that I get that I auditioned for, I've booked
none, by the way.
Because I'm still just me trying to be a thing.
But I can't, I'm not good at, that good at being, I'm not horrible, but I'm not.
You're not crazy enough to pretend to be someone else to be convincing.
Yeah, if you put me in a thing, it's like, oh, Tim Dillon is the thing.
Even if I pretend to be Meghan McCain, people go, that's Tim Dillon.
Like, it's not, none of my imitations are the person.
Rachel Levine.
Rachel Levine, whoever it is.
Some people want, that's Rachel.
But it's one of those things where the actors I know that I'm friends with are
usually, like, good looking.
But, like, they're not distinct looking.
And they can fit easily into any of these characters.
And they don't really know who they are.
So, if somebody tells them, like, six-year-olds should get gender reassignment
surgery, they go, okay.
And if they go, no one should have a gun, they go, okay.
Like, there's no, they don't have opinions.
Well, it's also that system is set up so that you're always trying to get
chosen for things.
That's right.
So, you're always saying the things that you think people want to hear.
And you're always espousing the correct political philosophies and positions on
things.
Because your whole gig is trying to get people to choose you for something.
That's right.
So, you can't do anything controversial or you can't escape those lines.
Yeah, and we need actors.
Here's the thing.
You need movies.
You need actors.
And you need them to be dumb.
You need them to be good looking and dumb.
And you 