Name: Joe Analyzes Sumo Wrestling
Uploaded: 2022-09-02T01:32:41.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Analyzes Sumo Wrestling' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-09-02. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Analyzes Sumo Wrestling' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-09-02. Transcript available.

The Joe Rogan Experience
Started with some sumo squats
Not a big deal. Oh wow. Why didn't sumo ever make it to America?
Because we don't we'd be we're fat. We like to wrestle. Yeah, but we're more
lazy. Yeah, but sumo's cool.
Now it was interesting. It's interesting. I think we could dominate. An
American guy won and they were all pissed about it.
He became like the champion. I think it was a Hawaiian guy. That makes sense.
Mmm, big people. Giant big dude, big Polynesian fella.
You've seen the guy with the ukulele. Yeah, one of them fellas. Yeah, he's fat.
Big giant big bones big fucking frame
Yeah, you gotta be a big fuck they eat so much you watch those sumo wrestlers
eat. It's crazy. Oh, really? Oh my god
Because they that's the whole thing got a mass. I think they get laid like they're
heroes. Yeah, it's a in Japan
It's a gigantic tradition. I mean just the the the rich history of it's a big
deal over there
Yeah, that's gotta be fun though
Because like over here you're trying to cut weight. It's always all about
cutting weight over there
You're probably trying to just keep gaining it. Also you're wearing like this
rope diaper
I don't like the diaper
I love the diaper
Hang on to someone's underwear and throw them around by it. Yeah, very strange
sport. It is a weird sport. Yeah, it's all wedgie
right I
Wonder if they've ever had matches between like really elite high-level wrestlers
that are big giant guys and a sumo guys
Like I wonder who wins those if they do sumo
I bet I love those sumo guys must dominate that they know they know how to like
it's just linebacker shit, right?
Yeah, it's kind of like really good agile like 300 pound wrestler might be able
to they do have some of those
They do have those matches because there are some
Sumo guys are like smaller. They look more like wrestlers. They're not big fat
guys and they go up against the Yokozunos
Yeah, what is that what is Yokozunos? I don't know that's a great name. Yeah,
and you're such a champion, right?
Let's see like what is a that's like the man who's the best or who's the best
like sumo wrestler today alive
Yeah, we go. Who's like the fucking John Jones of sumo wrestling. There's got
to be somebody John Jones the best
It's hard to argue
Mouse Mighty Mouse just won. I just saw the championship won the rematch and
really got his title back. Yeah
Mighty Mouse is the fucking man. He's good. He also put it on the line more
than John Jones
Well, I wouldn't say that what I would say John Jones put it on the line with
everybody that was against him in his division and John
He likes the line less fights. It's like who does John Jones cleaned out his
fucking division
You can't say any of fans or what's about it, but Mighty Mouse was less
recognized because he was small
Oh, these are the best guys right now. These guys are those shit is thin in
America. Oh, don't even have to help the guy up
No, he's like fuck you, bro. Oh, they're bleeding. You never see the bleeding.
Oh, wow. What happened? Smash heads
Yeah. Oh, yeah, right. He went nose to forehead right there. Oh, see this is
awesome. Slap the face. We should do this here
Oh, this is crazy. Oh, you're done dude. You know you're done. Oh, he caught
you slipping boom
Wow
You land on the ground. There's not even a cushion there. Yeah, why not make it
all even?
They're supposed to throw you down like that's part of the thing. It's like the
indignity of falling. I love it. I love the diaper
It's so traditional. Oh, he slapped him. This is awesome. How hard can you slap?
I don't know. Ask Nate. No, but this is what I'm saying
Like otherwise, yeah, look at that because otherwise. Oh, he threw it on to the
lady in the front
He threw it on to the lady. She shouldn't be there. She shouldn't be there. Get
out of there with your phone.
She was looking at her phone
Her shoulder is probably fucked. Show that again. Show it again. That lady, her
shoulder must be fucked. Watch this. Boom. That's a man
That's a man. That's a man. That's a man. Watch. Look, he's got a vault spot.
Yeah, you don't want to be broke. Watch what happens to his shoulder. No more
mayonnaise jars. You'll never open up a mayonnaise jar without harm.
Badass. Yeah, these guys are huge. Giant guys. They're not just big fat guys.
They're like
They're beefy. They're strong as fuck. They're tanks. Who scores seven trees
and two bushes? So these are the best guys, huh?
These are the best guys? They're not as big as I remember them as a kid. Like
this one guy.
No, there's big guys. There are big guys. The best sumo of all time. Oh, that
was slick. That fat guy is slick. That's pretty slick. That's what we call a
swim technique.
I bet they're slippery too, those Asian hairless queefs. Look at that. He's
like a seal. They probably have some very specific rules.
They just let them go? Like you're probably not allowed to grease your body. Oh,
sure. Oh, shoulder right to the face. Oh, man. He knew he was dealing with a chump.
We've got to adopt this. Although you can just see this as an eagle. He's
dealing with a chump. Yeah, this is just offensive.
Ari, that guy is like the number two in the world. He's clowning him. Two guys
tailgating. He was clowning him.
Well, he was definitely beating him with strategy. Now, what do they make a
year?
How's it a clown? Because there's got to be some diabetes and stuff going.
It can't be good for you, right? No. To be that big?
It can't be great for you. I heard they eat once a day.
What? Crazy once a day to get their metabolism down.
10,000 calories. Look at this guy.
10,000 calories. This guy fucking rules.
He's got nip rings. What are we talking about?
That dude looks like he could take a punch.
I wanted that outfit from the Red Jack. Look at his forehead.
He's got his sweet ass.
Oh, he KO'd that dude.
Shit, that was incredible.
Show that again. Show that again.
Oh, he elbowed him in the face.
Oh, I didn't know you could do that.
Yo, he KO'd him.
Do that again. One more time.
We've got to show it in slow-mo.
I'm telling you, sumo.
Is that legal?
Sumo's underrated.
It has to.
Oh, that forearm shot to the jaw.
KO'd.
I love the referee, too. Full guard.
Oh my god, that dude is KO'd.
100%. I didn't know this happened.
Wow.
I'm telling you, sumo.
Is he going to try again?
This is cooler than I remember.
Bring it here.
Here's slow-mo.
Oh!
That should be illegal.
Why not? It should be legal.
Why? That's awesome.
I thought it was just pushing out.
Yeah, I thought it was just pushing out.
Elbows and shit.
But it's your forearm.
Maybe it's okay to push with your forearm.
He caught him with it.
That is 100% a strike.
That's like some Muay Thai shit.
Wow, what a fat fuck.
That's some Leon Edwards shit right there.
What a fat fuck.
So fat.
I love it.
That's elbows.
Look at these guys.
I like how they're backstage dingy.
That's a special skill to hit people with your elbows.
That guy moved.
Ooh, a nice flip there.