Name: Alligator Attacks in Florida
Uploaded: 2022-09-27T17:20:18.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Alligator Attacks in Florida' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-09-27. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Alligator Attacks in Florida' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-09-27. Transcript available.

- The Joe Rogan Experience.
- That's Carol Baskin.
- She's on it?
Joe Exotic should be on if she's on it.
Where's your husband?
Where's your husband, lady?
- Yeah, I gotta learn to make some money online
or something like that.
- Imagine that, did she really, if, let's just say if,
we're not alleging anything,
but if she really did feed her husband to a tiger
and you can get her to wish you a happy birthday,
that is fucking hilarious.
- That's how I wanna go too, is food.
I think that's a great way to go out.
It is kind of weird that we kind of cheat
on the food pyramid thing,
'cause we embalm ourselves so we don't rot,
so nothing can eat us.
It's a dirty trick.
- Like the alligator pit would be kind of fun,
don't you think?
- When your body's done, just have a little celebration,
throw you in a pit full of alligators?
- 'Cause they have zero respect.
You know, the way they roll, you know how they kill,
you know, how they kill, they roll.
Oh, that would be just see myself twerking around like that.
- Jamie, did I show you the video of the crocodile
that's swimming with a body in its mouth,
a human body in its mouth?
Did I send that to you?
This one's rough.
Someone sent this to me on Instagram.
It's a crocodile and it's swimming up to this boat
and it sounds like they're from Australia or South Africa,
it's hard to tell.
But they're, 'cause I'm not good at accents,
but they're trying to figure out what it is
and then they realize it's a human.
- Oh, no.
- Oh, dude, it's rough.
It's rough, I'm gonna try to find it.
- Okay, this is the kind of stuff.
- Could be it, could be it.
- Yeah, that's a crocodile, right?
- Oh, there it is on there.
No, that's not.
- No, that's not it.
- Yeah, I think they're just showing croc videos.
- They're not gonna show the video?
- I don't think so.
Let's see.
- This guy's fighting him off with his--
- I have, I guarantee you I have it in here.
If you just give me one second, I'll find it.
- Extremely graphic footage.
You hear this?
- Is this it?
No, that's another one.
- Oh, no.
- That's another one with the body.
- Yeah, this is from a month ago.
- I've seen that one, too.
Bro, seriously.
- Oh, Jesus.
- Wow.
- Yeah, yeah, that's it.
That's the one.
- Wow.
- So look at that.
Bro, that is fucking rough.
- He de-pantsed him, too.
- That is fucking rough.
- By the arm.
- That is rough, and it looks like the crocodile
wants everybody to see it.
That's what's most fucked up.
It looks like it's swimming over,
like it wants everyone to see that it killed a person.
- Now, how much is that crocodile's cameo?
- Is it?
- Bro.
- I just want you to look at that,
how crazy that is.
- That is pretty--
- That we accept the fact that monsters live near us,
that we're cool with that.
Like, why are we cool with that?
What the fuck is wrong with us?
- I think it puts us kind of in our place a little bit.
You know what I'm saying?
- Yeah, is that necessary?
I get it.
- I don't know.
- I don't think we should keep those things around.
Everybody thinks we should keep them around.
Like, I think shoot them in the fucking head,
and turn them into shoes.
You're out of your fucking mind.
Those things eat people.
Like, we're just so far removed from nature
that we think that, and I'm not advocating.
Honestly, I'm joking around.
I'm not advocating for the elimination of all crocodiles.
- Right.
- But the fact that people are like really comfortable
being around them, it just blows my mind.
Just like, Florida's having more and more alligator attacks
every year.
Like, every, is that true?
I might have made that up.
But I think there's been a number this year in Florida.
- Well, that's one of my favorite shows
where the guys get to go out and cull the herd.
You know? - Oh, yeah.
- That's really cool, the way they do that, man.
I love it.
And they're doing it now with the pythons,
'cause that's another invasive species.
- That show swamp people, right?
What is this? - I love it.
- Alligator attacks do happen in Florida,
but not at an alarming rate.
One is an alarming rate.
If one person gets killed by a werewolf.
If one a year gets killed by a werewolf,
that's fucking alarming.
- That's not what that guy thought.
- There's only an average of six a year, I feel like.
- But I think this year, there was a few.
I think a few people died this year.
How many people died from alligator attacks in 2022?
Just Google that real quick.
I'm gonna guess.
I think it's six.
I think six people have died from alligator attacks.
No, that's nothing.
What about drunk driving?
What about Oxycontin?
What about, yeah, yeah, yeah, that too, that too.
But fucking also alligators.
- Four so far.
- Four.
How many, how many have just fucking disappeared?
How many homeless folks just vanished?
One of my favorite stories was a guy stole a car
and the cops are chasing him
and he jumps out of the car on a bridge
and jumps in the water and lands right on an alligator
and gets killed right in front of the cops.
- Oh, wow.
That's great. - He just landed, boom,
right where the alligator was.
He just snaps him up, like, right away.
- Wow.
You've been-- - Fuck.