Name: The Alarming Amount of Smash & Grabs, NYC Crime
Uploaded: 2022-09-27T17:20:35.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Alarming Amount of Smash & Grabs, NYC Crime' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-09-27. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Alarming Amount of Smash & Grabs, NYC Crime' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-09-27. Transcript available.

- The Joe Rogan Experience.
- Let's split the difference.
I can't sell out Madison Square Garden,
but I think I could sell out to Dwayne Reed next to it.
So let's go there.
Maybe we'll stop a smash and grab.
That'll be great.
We can kill two birds with one stone.
- I saw a smash and grab today on YouTube.
It was wild.
They just went into this store
and started ripping cell phones off the walls.
- It's definitely not Ocean's Eleven.
These kids, they're freestyling it.
- It's so crazy, and they're all wearing masks,
which you're allowed to wear now.
- Uh huh.
- So it's like, how are you going to catch them?
You like made wearing masks okay.
So everyone's wearing a mask
and they're just running in there and stealing shit.
- This stuff is like, honestly,
it's like, I never thought this was going to be
on the other side of this,
but the thing that's really getting me now,
and I think you probably will agree,
is that like, you know, I don't know.
I hate to be hacky and do kind of a joke,
but it's like, I didn't know as Americans,
we have the right to like go to a fast food place.
And if there's something wrong,
we can hop the counter and beat a man to death.
Like, I didn't know that.
Whatever happened to just eating what you get
or walking away?
Like for somehow this is like some kind of honor killing.
You have to confront this man, this poor kid.
This poor kid making seven bucks an hour.
You have to confront him and like, you know, whatever.
It's ridiculous.
I never thought I would live to see that.
It really blows me away.
- There's nothing like a late night fast food barn brawl.
- Well, this is not like a punch up, like, hey, what's up?
What did you say to me at the rodeo?
You know, hey, this is like full tilt, like.
- But those barn burner brawls where people like,
everybody's piling on top of everybody and smashing,
like a bar room brawl.
- Like an okay corral.
- An okay corral fight at a, you know,
a 2:00 a.m. waffle house or something, you know?
- The IHOP.
Everyone's favorite throw down joint.
- There's something about getting drunk people late at night
in those fucking places.
- And the poor people that work there, honestly,
it's like, it's like, they should be getting combat pay.
- How often do you see a brawl at a fucking waffle house
if you work there?
Like every other day.
- And the people who do work there are like shell-shocked.
They got that thousand yard stare.
It's like, what are you having?
You know, they're like looking, like checking the corners.
How about, how about the, just the fact that like,
there's no late night food anymore.
Everything closes early.
People are afraid to stay open.
- What is this one?
- The guy who had the ax.
He pulled an ax out of his back.
- Yeah, that was in New York.
That's one of ours.
- Why?
- This guy took all these punches.
- Why is he getting beat up?
- I don't know what happened.
It's like the same normal thing, you know,
like a fight at McDonald's at night.
- Then he pulls out the ax.
- Oh yeah?
- Yes.
- I'm from New York.
- The ax man.
- He starts fucking everybody up.
- This guy, and here he is.
- That's him?
- They talked to him afterwards.
- Right on the street.
Right on the street.
- Look at his ears.
You got the holes, giant holes in his ears.
- This guy is ready to go, man.
- He had an ax with him.
- Yeah.
You can get him at Home Depot, that's what he said.
- He might be in trouble.
- Might be.
- It seems like not good.
But he did show a little bit of restraint
letting those dudes punch him.
- Yeah, no, it was the whole thing of like,
that's all you got, he kept saying.
That's all you got.
- The video went viral 'cause of that, but.
- Fuck, man.
- That's just another day in New York.
- Did you see the Wawa in Philadelphia?
- Oh yeah.
- You see that video?
It's hilarious.
This lady goes, are you gonna make sandwiches
or are you just gonna keep recording them?
She wants her sandwich made.
- Can you believe it?
- Yeah.
- She's behind the counter, and she's so nonplussed
by this chaos behind her.
She's like, are you guys gonna make sandwiches
or are you just gonna keep recording them?
I want a fucking sandwich.
I don't care about this.
- That's amazing 'cause like,
when you're not from Philly, you love a Wawa.
You're like, man, this is so much better than 7-Eleven.
This is so much better than everything.
And then for them to desecrate it like that,
oh, terrible.
- It's the craziest like, group activity
in a store that I've ever seen.
'Cause they all just decided to go nuts.
And it's not a small amount of people.
It's a lot of fucking people.
And they're just grabbing shit off the shelves
and throwing shit on the ground.
This girl, she just wants a sandwich.
- But at least she beat the line,
you know, while everybody's distracted.
- Oh my God, this is so crazy.
- Where's my-
- Philadelphia police said they found
approximately 100 juveniles inside the Wawa,
but made no arrest.
Why would you arrest somebody?
I mean, why make an arrest?
- It happened to me when I was at a 7-Eleven here.
Just one guy though, he, I was going to walk
to pay for like a Snickers bar or something.
And as I was going to walk up,
he just grabbed something and walked right out.
And the lady's like, it seemed like it happened
on a nightly case, like a nightly basis.
- Oh yeah, no, they can't stop them now.
- I'm sure people just steal things now
because in certain places, like in San Francisco,
if you don't steal 900 bucks worth of stuff,
they don't even do anything.
- They don't.
- So it has to be more than 900 bucks worth of stuff.
So people are going in there
and just stealing whatever the fuck they want,
as long as it's not 900 bucks worth, they just leave.
- In, in New York, like, like that happened so much
that like, you'll see it happen.
And then like, they'll try and be very like woke about it.
Like, you know, Hey, you know, people need things, whatever.
And then you'll see the same guy from the news
selling this stuff, like on the street,
like walking down, you need some tide.
You need some tide.
Cause they're trying to make some money.
But at the end of the day,
that store will go out of business.
Like they'll shut it down.
Like, I mean, they are a company.
They got to make money.
So five people lost their jobs.
You know, there's no, there's no neighborhood store now for people to get.
So the whole idea of like, you know,
no one's really getting hurt with this is not true.
It's really, it's really incredible to see how bad it is.
You know, it's a wild time, Dave.
It is wild times.
They really are wild.
And, uh, you know, I feel like I'm too old to boost, you know, like I don't
have it in me anymore.
When you, when you, uh, see how, were you around in New York in the nineties
when it was crazy in Times Square?
Yeah.
Is it like that to you or worse?
I think that, um, uh, maybe cause I'm older and I'm a homeowner now, you know,
like, you know,
I'm like, what is going on here?
With these kids.
Yeah.
These kids.
But I, I think that this is just a sense of entitlement of people allowed to do
whatever they want to do,
whenever they want to do it, like driving, like mopeds on the sidewalk, doing
all that kind of stuff.
You know, Hey, if I feel like, uh, you know, driving erratically, I'm going to
do it.
If I feel like walking down the street, holding like a piece of metal and
yelling at people, I'm going to do it.
Cause it's more of a hands off kind of scene in New York now, you know, like
just basically like we're not going to get involved until like actually
something happens.
So, you know, uh, uh, if, if you got like young kids or a business or something
like that, you really are in a bad place at the wrong time.
You know, like outdoor dining there and guys come up and just start screaming
at you, rip something off your table.
You know, that kind of thing.
I always tell the tourists that come to this, I go, watch out.
And I'll go like, you know, the way you're holding your bag, don't hold it like
that.
It's too easy.
You know, like put it this way.
They get a little like, like, Whoa, I didn't know it was like that.
And the subway is a whole different world down there.
You know, that's like, you know, basically it's wild.
Yeah.
The subway is wild.
It's wild to be contained.
Did you see the video of Henzo Gracie getting in a fight on the subway?
That was cool.
He said he fucked his knee up.
I ran into him.
Oh, he did?
Yeah.
I ran into him like, I guess a week and a half or so later.
Talk about a great situation for what he does.
Yeah.
Like, that's it.
Exactly.
You know?
And what a terrible move by that guy.
He was telling him to speak English.
He's like, my friend, you know.
He did the right thing though, right?
Yeah.
He was like trying to deescalate.
He didn't even hurt him.
He just threw him to the ground and controlled him and put him in a stranglehold
and let him go.
Right.
And told him to apologize.
Well, I don't know if you know.
He was right there.
Like, out of all the people to fuck with, you fucked with Henzo Gracie.
That's such a huge mistake.
He just controlled him.
The dude's trying to punch him and Henzo's on top of him.
He's like, no, son.
You're not going anywhere.
Head and arm control.
Half guard.
Puts a smush down on him.
And he's strangling him right now.
Wow.
That's great.
It's just a terrible, terrible mistake.
They didn't roll onto the tracks.
Out of all the people in the world.
Oh, my God.
Thank God.
Yeah, that would have been so scary.
That would have been really tough.
Pushing people on the track shit.
Hearing about that kind of stuff.
Like, yeah.
Yeah, that's New York, man.
That's just the way it is.
There's a lot of towns like that now.
Just like where it's like, oh, I guess that's the way it is.
Have you been to Portland lately or no?
Portland's wild.
Yeah.
Portland is so weird that, like, the Helium Club, they're a very cool club, you
know?
And that neighborhood is kind of like, it's like the warehouse, art district or
something like that.
And, you know, they have serious, like, housing problem there.
It's very sad and all that stuff.
But I talked to somebody who, like, you know, like, whatever, who lives there.
And I go, so these people are allowed to, you know, put up, like, whatever they
want, wherever they want.
And he goes, yeah.
And they really, you know, like, the sad thing is, like, fires.
You know, like, something will happen and, like, you know, it could catch fire.
They're cooking meth in a tent.
Could be.
Yeah.
They're cooking meth in a little plastic house.
What could go wrong?
So it's like, talk about, like, you know, I don't know.
Like, you didn't see that coming.
No, no one saw that coming.
I didn't see it.
Someone just filmed it the other day and sent it to me.
They were in Portland and showed me this road they went down.
All the tents and how crazy it is and how dense it is.
It's like, wow.
You're not going to do anything about that?
You're just going to let that happen?
It does not seem like a fucking safety hazard, a public safety hazard, a health
hazard, all
the above hazards.
Isn't it litter?
It's also litter.
It's litter.
It's like in New York, they have the outdoor dining.
Have you seen these things?
Yeah.
It's like, it's like, it's like a manger, you know, it's like, it's like
basically, it's
like, you know, you might as well do a reenactment in there, you know, but like
they were having
like people having sex in there.
Because we're all making jokes about it and everything like that.
But it's like, why wouldn't they?
It's like too tempting.
I mean, like, why wouldn't you?
There's no one in there, would you?
You got to, you know, like christen it, basically, you know, make it your own.
But it's just like filthy and I don't know.
I guess, you know, if people really want the grunge of New York, you're seeing
it right now.
Do you still enjoy living there?
No, but, uh.
Have you thought about bailing?
I can't.
I can't because of my mom, you know, I got to be close.
Thank you.