Name: Joe Rogan Experience #1909 - Stavros Halkias
Uploaded: 2022-12-13T00:00:00.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1909 - Stavros Halkias' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-12-13. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1909 - Stavros Halkias' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-12-13. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #1909 - Stavros Halkias

Joe Rogan podcast, check it out.
The Joe Rogan experience.
Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day.
It's kind of a weird thing that we're here, to be honest with you.
Yeah.
It's weird here.
Yeah, because LA, it's like famous people are everywhere.
They're everywhere.
They know how to act.
People know how to act.
Here it's just starting a little bit.
It's just like Matthew McConaughey.
Yeah.
Elon, but Elon never goes anywhere.
Yeah.
He's always working on five different companies.
Right.
Who else?
Who else is in Austin?
Zach Levy, but he lives out a little bit further out in the country.
Yeah, just McConaughey.
Dawson moved here.
James Van Der Beek.
Oh, there you go.
That's right.
He's here.
And then the other, there's a few guys.
Well, it's also, I think, podcast fame.
Sandra Bullock, but she's never here either.
She's always working.
Yeah.
So I think podcast fame and internet fame, it's like people, you're much more
approachable, too.
Yeah.
You know, because it's like you're in their ears.
Well, they 100% know you.
100% know you.
Yeah.
They know all the most embarrassing stories you told.
Seven years ago when you were like, podcasting isn't going to catch on.
And you talked about, you know, things you put in your ass in middle school.
They're like, oh.
Bro, 12 years ago for me.
Yeah.
Yeah, we started off with a fucking laptop using a webcam.
High as fuck.
Just recording directly to the webcam, like the laptop audio.
Yes.
Well, we had like some sort of a USB microphone.
Yeah, yeah.
But we also did like everything completely obliterated.
We were doing volcano hits.
Oh, dude.
The volcano.
That's a beautiful thing.
You didn't know why you were saying it.
Why you were saying it.
Like while you were saying it, you're like, what am I saying?
Of course.
Well, no one's going to listen.
Who gives a fuck?
I'm just having fun.
And then they did.
Back then it was like, you know, a good episode would have like 2,000 people.
For real.
Now a tweet that gets 2,000, I'm like bombed.
I know.
What happened?
What wrong?
It's fucking fascinating to see the difference in tweets now.
Because people aren't scared to post what they really think about something.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So like NBC News will post something and then underneath it, you'll just see a
cascade of people shitting all over them.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And harshly.
Right, right, right.
It's wide.
They're making death threats.
No, not that.
They're like, fuck you, Tucker.
But they can be funny again and not worry about getting banned or shadow banned
or any of that stuff.
Yeah, yeah.
No, I barely, I honestly barely use Twitter anymore.
It's just like.
Me too.
Purely for all social media.
Honestly, I just do the fucking, because it's comedy and you have to get people
out to stuff.
Promotion.
Yeah.
I really don't think people should use that.
I mean, I'm not breaking any ground here, but it's like, I barely, you know.
You and I are on the same page.
Yeah.
It's not, dude, I put my phone away for like this summer.
I went, I went back to Baltimore.
I got, I lost like 20 pounds to my brother.
My brother's a trainer and I just didn't use my phone.
I was fucking eating right.
I was working out every day.
Fuck it.
I felt great.
I was like, this is awesome.
I'm going to go into the next leg of the tour.
I'm in New York for like four days and I'm like, I'm just going to check
Instagram to try and get pussy.
And I haven't been off it for more than 20 minutes for four months.
You know what I mean?
It's like, and I was like, I know, you know what you have to do.
Yeah.
And it's like, you know, you can't stop.
Well, and then the, and then the fucking algorithm gets you, bro.
The TikTok algorithm.
I don't fuck with TikTok, but apparently that's the worst.
I was just going to say that I was listening to Chris Williamson.
Do you know him?
He's another guy who's out here in Austin.
Great.
Really interesting, intelligent guy.
He runs a great podcast, but he had Scott Galloway on and they were talking
about how TikTok is essentially engineered to like keep us engaged and also
accentuate all of our disagreements and arguments and make America look like a
real shithole.
I didn't even think about the disagreements and arguments because my feed is
like, they've completely got me.
It's like fucking just a nice sandwich.
It's like, and I'm trying to get fucking jacked these days.
So it's like just fat guys, like fat guys, weight loss journeys.
Like they know everything.
And then it's like a muscle girl, which I'm into now, you know what I mean?
They've created a new fetish for me just off of fucking, it started with just
like instructional stuff.
And now it's just like some girl who's just fucking, you know, crushing a
watermelon with her thighs and then deadlifting like, you know, 800 pounds.
And I'm like, I'm in.
I want those.
Because in my mind, that's got to be, there's got to be one of them that wants
to fuck a fat guy to like.
Straighten them out.
Because it's, exactly.
You're a project.
You fucking fat piece of, like just, just, just pinching my tits.
You know what I mean?
And I'm like, I'm a fucking little fat, I'm a fucking, I'm your fuck pig.
You know, she's got me oinking while she's eating my ass.
That's got to exist.
You know what I mean?
A hundred percent.
And you're going to find her after the show.
That's why I'm here, Joe.
She's reaching.
She's going to, right now she's got her thumbs moving.
Gals, hit me up.
The DMs are open.
Does, girls are that jacked have to be like really horny too.
You'd think so.
I bet they're super physical.
Yeah, all the, because you're in the, you're in peak physical shape.
So it's like all your hormones and shit must be firing off.
And I think nature would tell you that if you're a woman and you have to lift
all this heavy stuff,
then like you're in trouble.
There's a real, the men aren't doing their job.
They're not defending the village.
You're preparing for war.
Yeah.
So you probably, all your testosterone ramps up.
I didn't know.
You're floating the pheromones out there to get a warrior.
So you're probably, the pussy's probably a top notch.
Top notch.
Because if, if your body thinks you're in distress.
Oh yeah, you're ready to rock.
They want to get a, a mongol to make you his wife.
Yeah, yeah, some super fucking killer viking character.
Yeah, but thank God.
It's probably tight like a drum too.
Absolutely.
A hundred percent.
Oh my God.
They could probably lift me.
They could probably do deadlifts.
Put my dick in.
Right.
Clench.
And then just do squats.
Have you ever seen that picture?
That's probably possible.
Picture, there's like a, it's a meme.
The type of men who wear masks in their car.
And it is a woman holding a guy up while they make out.
And the guy's got his legs wrapped around the woman.
By the way, I'm in.
Sounds awesome.
Do you want her to keep the wristbands on?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Chalked hands.
Like she's deadlifted.
Oh my God.
I want my dick to get chained from the calluses.
I want my dick to feel like it's, you know, it's been at the spa all day.
Like it's been completely rubbed off.
A new layer of skin comes off every time I get jacked off by those.
Like a salt bath.
Yeah, exactly.
Like you've been scrubbed.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
A hundred percent.
That's what I want.
I didn't know that about myself, but I'm in there.
And then listen, I'm still.
You find out things.
You find out through the algorithm.
You don't know what you like until you see it.
No.
I did hook up with one girl that was like strong.
And I think she had that thing going on.
She just kind of DM'd me.
And I was like, fuck yeah, let's get in there.
And it was nice.
I was like going down on her and I had like giant thighs just wrapped around my
head to
the point where I was starting to, no joke, I'm not exaggerating, just blackout.
Like I started seeing spots.
And I was like, if I don't make her come, I'm going to die.
And there was like a fucking thrill to that.
There was like, it felt like Indiana Jones sliding under the fucking thing with
the, you know what I mean?
I was like, I have moments to make this woman bust before I lose consciousness.
It was fucking thrilling.
Yeah.
So I don't know.
But I guarantee you there's a thing like that where a woman like doesn't even
want a powerful
man.
She just wants a guy that she could turn into a project.
Right.
Because women always do that with guys anyway.
Sure.
The same type of women that adopt like sad dogs.
You know, like, oh, I'm going to help you.
I'm going to fuck the bulldog.
I'm going to help you.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know, a lot of people, they'll take on projects with people.
Yeah.
Brian Callen used to always do that.
Okay.
He used to have these gals that he would date.
I'd be like, Brian, fucking stop.
Interesting.
And he'd be like, it's okay, you know, I'm going to help her out.
And it was always a disaster.
They want meth heads, like wild shit.
I'm ready to be someone's disaster.
I'm ready to have a good three months until I slip off my diet and they're like,
what?
I found fucking oatmeal cream pies in the, wrappers in the garbage.
I'm like, I don't know what to tell you, babe.
Somebody must have broken in and had fucking a dove bar because it wasn't me.
I was doing, I was doing fucking, uh, I was doing burpees.
I was doing lat pull downs.
I swear to God.
That was when I was doing hot yoga, babe.
Kick me out.
She fucking, I've been, there's a PS5 and she kicks it and just snacks fall out
of it.
I've taken all the hard drive.
I've taken all the games out and it's just fucking Twizzlers and fucking
chocolates.
She finds a secret fridge filled with Coke.
Mountain Dew.
I'm like, those are my family heirlooms from Greece.
That's the sad thing.
If you're in a relationship and you have to hide what you actually like.
Oh yeah.
Like, Oh man.
Well, I think part of it is because a lot of my relationship, um, you know, I'm
big on therapy.
I've been thinking about this shit all the time.
A lot of my relationships, what I'm into is someone who just treats me way too
good.
Cause it's like, that's my mom kind of coddled me.
I was a mama's boy.
I was the first born.
I was like a, one of those like smart, precocious little kids.
Who's like always saying something fun.
Right.
And so every time I've really, really liked a girl to like be in a serious
relationship.
She's just kind of like over the top kind of met.
Like I wouldn't have to hide anything.
Cause they're like, Oh, you can't even help it.
You know?
And I'm like, I'm sorry.
I can't, you know?
And so I think part of me wants like, yeah, fucking throw me through the ring.
Some hot mama.
Yeah, dude.
How much step mom porn is there out there?
There's a lot out there.
It seems crazy.
I think it's like, what happened?
When did this emerge?
Every now and then I check in.
Yeah.
There's a whole different wave of genre going on.
That is huge.
Um, I don't know what it is.
I'm not, see, that's the weird thing.
You would think I would have like mommy shit.
I don't have that.
I find it disgusting.
Well, I think step mom shit is different.
Step mom is like, dad is divorced, but dad's rich.
True.
And dad marries this really hot slut.
Right.
And he's out at the meetings.
But dad's at work all day.
He's got to fucking run the corporation.
He's got to close the account.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And you're this jock son in college.
Oh, yeah.
That's like all of them.
Absolutely.
That sounds pretty good.
You know what I'm in?
It's like a classic fucking Joseph Campbell genre.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's the hero's journey.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It starts at dinner one day.
Because no one feels bad for anyone involved.
Right.
Like no one feels bad that she's cheating on the son.
The son is in college.
Of course.
So that's fine.
The dad has been-
The dad is probably some rich piece of shit.
Yeah, emotionally abusive, neglectful.
He got what's coming to him.
Probably cheated on his mom, who was an amazing woman.
You're right.
And now he's with th