Name: The Kind of Girl Stavros Halkias is Looking For
Uploaded: 2022-12-13T19:34:54.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Kind of Girl Stavros Halkias is Looking For' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-12-13. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Kind of Girl Stavros Halkias is Looking For' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-12-13. Transcript available.

The Joe Rogan Experience
I'm trying to get fucking jacked these days so it's like just fat guys like fat
guys weight loss journeys like they know everything and then it's like a
Muscle girl which I'm into now, you know what I mean? They've created a new fetish
for me just off of fucking it started with just like
Instructional stuff and now it's just like some girl who's just fucking you
know crushing a watermelon with her thighs and then deadlifting like
You know 800 pounds and I'm like I'm in
I'm in
I want those because in my mind that's got to be there's got to be one of them
that wants to fuck a fat guy
To like that straight amount. It's exactly you fucking fat pieces like just
fuck just just pinching my tits
You know she's got me oinking while she's eating my ass. That's gotta exist.
You know what I mean?
A hundred percent and you're gonna find her after the show. That's why I'm here
Joe
She's gonna right now. She's got her thumbs moving
Gals hit me up. The DMs are open does girls are that jacked have to be like
really horny, too
You'd think so the all that they're super physical. Yeah, although cuz you're
in the you're in peak physical shape
So it's like all your hormones and shit must be firing off
And I think nature would tell you that if you're a woman and you have to lift
all this heavy stuff
Then like you you're in trouble
There's really you're under duress aren't doing their job. They're not
defending the village
You're preparing for war. Yeah, so you probably all your testosterone ramps up
I didn't know you're floating the pheromones out there to get a warrior
So you're probably the pussy's probably a top-notch top-notch if your body
thinks you're in distress
Oh, yeah, you really want to get a mongol to make you his wife
Yes, I'm a super fucking killer Viking character. Yeah, but it's probably tight
like a drum, too
Absolutely. Oh my god. They could probably lift me. They could probably do deadlifts
Put my dick in right clench and then just do squats
If you're seeing that really possible picture is there's like
It's a meme the type of men who wear masks in their car
And it is a woman holding a guy up while they make out the guy's got his legs
wrapped around the way
I'm in
Sounds awesome. Do you want her to keep the wristbands on? Yeah, yeah, yeah
Chalked hands like she's deadlifted. Oh my god. I want my dick to get chained
from the calluses
I want my dick to feel like it's you know, it's been at the spa all day
Like it's been completely rubbed off a new layer of skin comes off every time I
get jacked off by those like a salt bath
Yeah, you've been scrubbed
A hundred percent. That's what I want. I didn't know that about myself
I'm in there and then listen. I'm still you find out things you find out
through the algorithm and you don't know what you like until you see it
No, sir. I did hook up with one girl that was like strong and I think she had
that thing going on
She just kind of DM'd me and I was like fuck. Yeah, let's get in there
And it was nice
I was like going down on her and I had like
Giant thighs just wrapped around my head to the point where I was started to no
joke. I'm not exaggerating just blackout
Like I started seeing spots and I was like if I don't make her come I'm going
to die
And there was like a fucking thrill to that there was like it felt like Indiana
Jones sliding under the fucking thing with that
I was like I have moments to make this woman bust before I lose consciousness.
It was fucking thrilling. Yeah
So I don't know but I'll guarantee you there's a thing like that where a woman
like doesn't even want a powerful man
She just wants a guy that she could turn into a project right because women
always do that with guys anyway
Sure, the same type of women that adopt like sad dogs
A lot of people they'll take on projects with people. Yeah, and I think Brian
Cowan used to always do that
Okay, we used to have these gals that he would date. I'd be like Brian fucking
stop interesting like it's okay
You know, I'm gonna help you out and it was always a disaster. They want meth
heads like wild shit. I'm ready to be someone's disaster
I'm ready
I'm ready to have a good three months until I slip off my diet and they're like
what I found I found a fucking
Oatmeal cream pies in the wrappers in the in the garbage. I'm like, I don't
know what to tell you, babe
Somebody must have broken in and had fucking a dove bar because it wasn't me. I
was doing I was doing fucking
Burpees. I was doing burpees
I was doing lat pull downs. I swear to god. That was when I was doing hot yoga,
babe
Kick me out she fucking I've been there's a ps5 and she kicks it and just
snacks fall out of it
I've taken all the hard drive
I've taken all the games out and it's just fucking twizzlers and fucking
chocolates. She finds a secret fridge filled with coke
Yeah
I'm like those are my family heirlooms from Greece. That's don't touch those.
If you're in a relationship and you have to hide what you actually like
Oh, yeah, like oh
Man, well, I think part of it is because a lot of my relationship, you know, I'm
big on therapy
I've been thinking about this shit all the time a lot of my relationships what
I'm into is
Someone who just treats me way too good because it's like that's my mom kind of
coddled me. I was a mama's boy
I was the first born I was like a whether it's like smart precocious little
kids who's like always saying something fun, right?
and so every time I've really really liked a girl to like be in a serious
relationship
She's just kind of like over the top
Kind of met like I wouldn't have to hide anything because they're like, oh, you
can't even help it
You know, and I'm like, I'm sorry. I can't you know
And so I think part of me wants like yeah fucking throw me through the ring
some hot mama
Yeah, dude, how much stepmom porn is there out there? There's a lot out there.
It seems crazy
I think it's like what happened when did this emerge every now and then I know
yeah
There's a whole different wave yeah genre going on that is huge. Um, I don't
know what it is
I'm not see that's the weird thing you would think I would have like mommy shit.
I don't have that
I think that mom shit is different step mom is like different dad is divorced
But dad's rich true and dad marries is really hot slut right and he's out at
work all day
He's got a fucking run the corporation
And you're this jock son in college. Oh, yeah, that's like all of them.
Absolutely
That sounds pretty good. You know what? I'm in it's like a classic fucking
Joseph Campbell genre. Yeah
It starts at dinner one day because no one feels bad for anyone involved
Like no one feels bad that she's cheating on the son. The son is in college. Of
course, so it's that's fine
The dad dad is probably some rich piece of shit
Yeah, emotionally abusive
Neglectful he probably cheated on his mom who was an amazing woman and now he's
with this she died
She had chemotherapy maybe she wasn't there. He wasn't there. He wasn't there.
He didn't give a fuck
He was at the office
He was at the office and now he's got this new one
Exactly, and she's a fucking weight lifter now. Yeah, yeah, let's fucking get
it all together
giant thighs
She comes into my room. She's like why haven't you done your homework? I'm like
you're not my real mom
She's like what the fuck did you say to me shoves me up put picks me up against
the wall?
And that's now we're thought and then you lean towards and she just goes for it.
Yeah, she starts making out. Oh my god
Yeah, she holds you up with one arm where she's grabbing your dick with the
other one. Oh, just choke crazy. Yeah
But doesn't let me come the first time she's like finish your homework. Maybe
you'll bust next time. I'm like yes, ma'am
Become a model student
I'm in a little tie suit and tie. Well, hello father. We might just created the
new genre of porn
It's got it's got to advance
Female trainer like muscular feet. The thing is like how many like really jacked
muscular females go into porn true
They're a very small very small minority. I've done the research. It's not that
many
Videos, I don't think that's a genre yet. No, but we'll get you have to like
Get people to train for it like Cirque du Soleil. Yeah, you know, I get these gals
going look look. There's a whole new genre
Right like if yeah porn was organized the way like film and television was yeah
Yeah, we need it. We need it. Look at this gal holding that guy overhead. Holy
shit. Look at the size of her
How is that how big is that dude? He's a little guy, but bro. She looks like
she's got some fucking stock genetics
Oh, yeah, like that will make you a barbarian. I mean that guy's that guy's
foot could fit in her pussy
Look at the size of her fucking legs in her her ass muscles the way
She's hoisting that guy one arm over her head. Let's just assume. He's a tiny
guy tiny guy. He's got away a hundred pounds
Let's say five to a hundred pounds
Even if he's do a hundred pounds over your head with one arm like that. It's
crazy
Yeah, and the fact that it's this woman who's very womanly when is this from 19th
century muscle women
Other pictures and just saw that bro. That is 100% like Viking genetics
Yeah, right? Yeah, a hundred percent. Oh, you got two little guys two little
guys with one arm over her head
And that's the thing no one could you weren't allowed to jack off to stuff
You know plainly this couldn't be a sex thing
But this was 100% a sex thing back then look at the size of her and she's
holding three guys on her arms
What did she do? This seems like the same lady
No offense this long since past woman. Yeah, but she has a very masculine face.
She does that easily could be a guy that sells you IT service
Right? That's the guy who comes in with a clipboard and says like do you guys
want high-speed internet. Yeah
Like what how many what how many gigabytes you guys think you use?
Oh, you don't need that upload speed. You guys are fine where you're at. Go
back to that picture
I don't like when I say this, but your guys are fine. Is that the same person?
Come on, man. That easily could be a guy who works at Google
Yeah, so throw a vest on her. Yeah, like a stout guy too. Look how stout she
looks
Yeah, cuz she's got the corset who knows what you actually be look at the
fucking guns on that lady. Hell yeah, dude. Oh my god
You like that