Name: How Matt McCusker Got Scared Straight
Uploaded: 2023-01-14T18:24:00.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'How Matt McCusker Got Scared Straight' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-01-14. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'How Matt McCusker Got Scared Straight' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-01-14. Transcript available.

The Joe Rogan experience I'm pretty sure anxiety and depression are baked into
the human experience
I don't think you can get away from it. Yeah, you sound like a good Catholic.
That's what I'm saying, man
That's what being Catholic is all about. I used to have wicked panic attacks
when I was 23
And I was also a gigantic piece of shit and it was the thing that like made me
start thinking about my life
I was like shocking in my else's like
And if I had just gotten medication, I just would have kept being a giant piece
of shit
Mmm, so I'm always like, but sometimes you got to go through you know what I
mean?
Yeah, you got to slow through that stuff. Yeah, I was a fucking how'd you pull
out of it shit?
I just fucking had to come to grips with the fact I was gonna die eventually
Well, you wouldn't say a piece of shit. You were just dude. I was just a
monster bro. We taking that
I wasn't even I was just we doing just like selling drugs. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
I was a bad kid
I had no excuse. I'd like, you know
I wasn't like I was like my back to the wall. It's like I just like got a
couple jobs like I don't like this
I was like, I just sell drugs drugs. Are you selling pretty much everything?
Really? Weed was the main weed was the mainstay, but then I started like I got
I got coerced and I didn't even know what pills did
So I like my friends would talk me into going and like finding pills for them
turned into a whole thing dude
It was it was bad news. How'd you get out of it? Just stopped eventually. Wow.
It stopped. Yeah
Thank you patreon
No, it was I had like amazing I didn't know what pills did and I remember
watching a whole not even a whole but like it was an apartment complex and
There's these two buildings full of like all these kids were living there
There's a long story, but like I somehow got my hands on like Watson
pharmaceutical drugs of fucking it was there are Vicodins and
And like they were just I didn't I thought I love that I somehow got my hands
On jugs of Vicodins. How did that's never happened to me?
Weird. I've never stumbled upon any jugs of Vicodins. I've never opened up a
cabinet look at these jugs
I don't think I've ever seen a Vicodin. What's a jug of Vicodin? How many are
we talking?
Dude, it's you know when you're in the pharmacy and you look behind the counter
and it's those big boys
Oh, like a whey protein bottle yes, like one of them big scoop protein. Yeah,
how much was that worth?
At the time it was you're going to jail. You're talking about this on the
podcast. You're fucked. Yeah, statue of limitations
What is the statue of limitations? I don't know
Okay, here we go, but no, it was that's basically a thing. I was just a fucking
nightmare
That was the thing I'd be you statute of limitations that before the statute
the French gave us this I was laying in bed just going
Having panic attacks and it forced me to be like yes, probably pretty bad idea
everything
So how'd you how'd you phase out of it? I just stopped it made me develop like
a sense of like yeah
This is fucking other people up and I like saw people getting fucked up and I'm
like, I'm gonna stop doing this
You kept getting robbed at gunpoint
And I kept getting robbed at gunpoint. How many times you get robbed at gunpoint?
Twice
Whoa. Yeah, twice. Twice. After the first time you're like, this is never gonna
happen again
After the first time I went back the plug robbed me at gunpoint and he's like,
I won't do it again. I was like, okay
You said yes, daddy. The plug?
What's the plug? The dude who's your supplier. Oh, your supplier robbed you at
gunpoint. Well, yeah
It was like a it was kind of a mess he I would give him money and he would go
get them
And then one time he came back without them and he I was like dude just have
them
I was so scared of these guys and I was like you can just keep it all
I don't care and he was like, how do I know you didn't set me up and he's
pulled a gun out on me and I was like
And my roommate walked down and went
And he just ran out, but yeah, and so then you tried to buy from him again
No, I told him he like time passed. He's like, dude. I'm so sorry. I found out
who actually robbed me
He's like if you could come back. I'll take care of you know, I'll like make it
worth your while
And I'll just you'll never have to put any money up ever again
And then what happened? I just went back started, you know, and then he
happened to just pull his gun
Then apparently he got in trouble for I think he tried to shoot at somebody
So I went back to pay him back one time and then some guy was like nah, he's in
jail
He tried to shoot someone but he tried to you said he pulled a gun on you twice
once a different guy pulled a gun on me
You said he said he would never do it again. He didn't he was true to his word.
So that guy would never do it again
He was the other guy did it some other guy. It was some guy. I was in a house
and a guy came in with a gun
I was that stunk. What was this about?
weed
pounds
They said give me your weed
Yeah, he it was like kind of like one of those things were like a guy comes in
he goes
Oh my god some guy happened to be behind me with a gun everyone get down and I
was sitting there like this is bullshit
So then he like just took the money took like the weed and then he was like
just like who the fuck you know, he started telling me like I was on his
territories and I was like dude come on man
And I just sat there and he just talked for like two minutes and he's like if
you guys try to look out the window
We're gonna there's people outside. They're gonna shoot you took all of her
cell phones
I did have a thousand bucks behind my back though. I didn't tell him about so I
got to keep that
Yeah, that's pretty sweet. That was pretty tough. A lot of people would have
lost the composure
Thankfully that other guy pulled his gun on you before so you do know what but
know what happens though is you lose
Everything slows down and you're able to like I was in that the first time I
just shit my pants the second time I was like
Looking at the kid who I never met before who I knew kind of set this up
because I watched one kid
I knew like being a real state of fear and I watched this other guy pretending
to be scared all
All this guy in a ski mask was like whoa the gun and it was just like fuck
I really like the part of my brain like I might get shot just went offline and
I was able to watch and be like
I'm gonna fucking kill this little motherfucker when this guy, you know blah
blah blah
And so how long after that did you stop?
Couple years
I was chasing the bag dude
I got robbed. I didn't make any money. I got robbed constantly. I was too
trusting
I got robbed constantly. I got robbed by club one time club point and sucked
Club these guys were like what Irishman with a shillelagh
It's like oh you better give me the weed
It's that weed you got
Not again fuck
Damn
Yeah, it's done
He's a non-violent drug dealer
Yeah
So how did you how did you start making money when you quit I always worked in
construction and stuff too
I'd always have a side gig
So I never depended on one too much so I could always say like fuck you to my
job if I didn't like it
And if I ever things got like weird I could like I'm not gonna do I would chill
Mmm, so I had a kind of like hybrid approach
Mmm, and how'd you get into podcasting? I was just a comedian me and Shane were
just living together
I'm like dude. Can we please do a podcast? I'm fucking dying here
Yeah, I was just I mean that was what is it called again in case we forget Matt
and Shane's secret podcast
Yeah, there you go, but yeah, man. That was a
It's not the way that was not the way no doesn't sound like the way
But I was like I'd say you got some good stories out of it though, and you
lived pretty good
Yeah, pretty good
But I lived I was living according to a fucked up system and it was like things
called mental disorders got me out of it
That's what I'm trying to say