Name: Joe Rogan Experience #1947 - Chris Distefano
Uploaded: 2023-02-28T00:00:00.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1947 - Chris Distefano' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-02-28. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1947 - Chris Distefano' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-02-28. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #1947 - Chris Distefano

Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out.
The Joe Rogan Experience.
Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day.
And we're up.
Hello, Chrissy.
Hello.
Good to see you, brother.
Nice to see you.
I like the shades.
I know, I feel like Jeffrey Dahmer.
Are those Anthony Aden's?
Anthony Aden.
Dude, Anthony Aden, St. Mark's, Lower East Side.
I wanted to look like a 70s, 80s mobster look.
That's what I wanted to go for.
And Anthony was like, I got you.
Oh, yeah.
You nailed it.
Anthony Aden.
And he's one of those guys, he's like an MMA guy.
So it's like, he's selling these nice glasses, but then he's got the
cauliflower ear and he's always got bruises on his face.
Yeah, I met him in New York.
Very nice guy.
He gave me a beautiful pair of sunglasses with rose-colored shades.
Yeah.
They're very nice.
They're transition lenses.
Yeah, mine too.
And the thing is with these is this is, you know, I'm going for it, right?
And I've went a little crazy.
You're going for it?
I'm just going for it.
I've said, you know what?
Enough's enough.
Enough's enough?
I said, I'm done.
I'm putting on glasses.
I'm wearing a watch.
Wow.
And I'm changing.
What kind of watch you got?
AP Royal Oak.
Oh, that's a nice watch.
I just came.
I talked to Andrew Santino and I said, I want a watch.
And he sent me this link and I said, but what about that price?
He said, if you're going to do it, just fucking do it.
Wow.
And so he, and then I did it.
And then when I sent him a picture of it on, he was like, dude, I was kidding.
Like you, you just jumped like 10 steps.
And then he said, what is, you're like a different Chrissy with these glasses.
And I know I said to you before, I'm wearing them every day.
I haven't taken the watch or the glasses off in about two weeks and I feel good
about it
right now.
I feel centered with who I am, but it does feel like, you know, month from now,
I'll look
back and really regret this phase.
Why?
Cause I think that, um, um, um, I, uh, listen, I'm having fun right now.
It's no regrets, but I'm just saying, I know the way my mind works.
And I think I'm probably going too hard, too fast.
Like I just, you know, the glasses, the watch, you go, I got a tour manager.
I don't need any of this.
I'm just going.
Just keep going.
What are you worried about?
All right.
Then I'll do it then.
You need a coach.
Yeah.
You need someone in the corner going, keep going.
Keep going.
Keep going.
I ate a bag of chicken skin in your green room.
Look at you.
Look at the fucking look.
I like the new look.
Dude, cause you know what this is too.
What?
You know what happened is I started.
It's a glow up.
It's a glow up.
That's what it is.
Yeah, you're glowing up.
It's a glow up.
I'm like Elliot Page, glowed up.
I think you look great.
I appreciate that.
Fucking bracelet on too.
Dude, I'm not, I'm, I've completely went insane.
Wow.
That's not insane.
You're making a little cash.
You're doing well.
And you know what, Netflix special's doing well.
That's it.
Everything's good.
Kids tour and the kids making some shekels.
The kids, let's go.
The kids doing Radio City Music Hall, folks.
The kids doing Radio City Music Hall, folks.
September 22nd.
I mean, that's, see for a New Yorker, that's like, that's the thing.
Yeah, that's the place.
You go to Radio City and, and, and it's, and it's been amazing.
Yeah, that's a, yeah.
And it's been amazing.
Um, we're, we sold 4,500 tickets the first week.
So that's amazing.
It's like mind blowing for me.
So, um, that place is so, I didn't Roy Jones Jr.
have a fight there once.
Probably.
I think when Roy Jones Jr.
was just murking people, Roy Jones Jr.
put on a fight.
I'm pretty sure he did it there.
Yeah.
He did it at some iconic venue in New York City.
And Radio City Music Hall is one of the, the, the peaks.
It's, when I started comedy, I've, and still.
Yeah, it is.
There it is.
Roy Jones Jr.
produced a Radio City Spectacular.
Who did he fight?
That was when, what's that?
Oh, that's right.
Even fighting one-handed.
That was, yeah.
Well, that was when Roy Jones Jr.
was just the fucking king of the world.
Yeah.
People forgot.
Like, he had to make a song called,
Y'all Must Have Forgot.
He did it literally, he made a song called,
Y'all Must Have Forgot.
Because people forgot.
Right.
He was the fucking man.
There was a period of time, and this is the thing about fighters,
you can't keep it up forever.
It's impossible.
And a lot of times, we think about fighters as who they were at the end of
their career.
Right.
When their bodies were failing, and they had too much mileage on the tank,
it's like, on the, the odometer, rather.
Roy Jones Jr., when he was in his peak, in his prime,
was as good as anybody that's ever laced on gloves.
Yeah, I agree.
Did you watch the Paul Fury fight yesterday?
Yes, I did.
Yeah.
What'd you think?
I thought it was a very good fight.
Yeah.
And it's, it confirmed two things that I've been saying for a long time.
One, Jake Paul is 100% legit.
People that think he's not legit, he's conning you.
He's conning you with his antics.
He's conning you with his, his online persona,
and the shit talking, and the marketing.
But if you didn't have any of that, and me as an analyst,
like I, that's one of my jobs.
I analyze mixed martial arts.
I'm not a boxing analyst, but I understand it.
Right.
When I watch him move around, it's 100% legit.
When I saw him knock out Tyron Woodley, I'm like,
that is a fucking dangerous man.
Yeah.
100%.
Yeah, he's, I was watching it illegally on a phone.
Why don't you pay for it, you fucking piece of shit?
I didn't, no, I, I, cause I, I ran out of money.
I bought, I bought too many glasses.
I spent it all on the watch.
No, because I didn't even know, I love sports and stuff,
but I'm not into, not that I'm not into boxing,
I just don't ever like watch it that much.
And so the, the guy that I'm with, he was like,
oh, the fight's happening now.
So he's like, I got a site and we started,
so we were, I was eating ice cream yesterday
in San Francisco in Little Italy.
And we're, and I only eat sweets once a week now.
So yesterday was my sweets day.
Nice.
And I was eating, I ate, I got four scoops of gelato.
So I was three and a half scoops in and the blood sugar,
the way it hit, you know, I was getting woozy,
but it's like what I've been waiting for.
And I'm watching the fight happen.
And then, you know, San Francisco, right outside,
I see two homeless guys fighting, like legitimately fighting.
And it was kind of one of those things where I swear to God,
even though amazing fighters that, you know, Paul and Fury,
the fight outside was so much more entertaining.
I mean, I've never seen this.
I saw a homeless man yesterday in front of,
as the kid out in the green room, as my witness,
roundhouse kick another, land a roundhouse kick to the chin.
Another, the other homeless guys face,
the guy hit up against some outdoor dining,
was like shell-shocked, like, you know, like woozy,
bleeding from his lip, and then just scurried off.
And I was like, wow.
And then I bought the homeless guy who won the fight ice cream.
I swear to God.
But did you know whether who instigated the fight?
Maybe the homeless guy with the roundhouse kick
is like a crack stealer.
I was going to say, I think most likely Fenton Hall
instigated the fight.
I would feel like Fenton Hall would calm it down.
Yeah, that's true too.
It was, I don't know if it was the last time you've been
to San Fran, but I mean, it got,
you know, it was wild there in North Beach,
you know, Little Italy.
And I was like, man, this is next level.
But I thought, my mother always instilled in me,
like, always buy homeless people food.
If you see them, buy them food.
And so that's just what I automatically do.
And I bought him ice cream.
And you know what this guy says to me?
Granted, he just won a fight.
But I came out with chocolate ice cream.
He goes, I don't like chocolate.
I was like, Jesus Christ.
Well, that's probably why he's homeless.
Seriously, right?
Because of the ego and like.
Disagreeableness.
Yes, so I went and got a vanilla
and he ate the vanilla.
Oh, you did that.
That's good for you, bro.
Yeah, because you know, it's my sweets day.
I just had the chocolate.
Good for you.
Good for you.
Thank you.
That's a lovely thing to do.
Yeah.
I wish it was just, you know, that the people are down on their luck.
I wish it was just that.
Yeah.
But there's like such a combination of factors that humans have to address.
If they really want to address homelessness, you really have to address kids
that grew up
in the foster care system.
You have to address childhood abuse.
You have to address family history of drug addiction.
You have to address crime.
Like, there's so many factors that lead into someone being homeless.
And the idea that you're just going to give them housing or you're just going
to give them
tents and everything's going to be fine.
It's like, no, like you can't just like ignore that as an issue.
Like, if you're going to, the amount of money that it costs to have massive
populations of
homeless people is extraordinary.
If they just put the same amount or maybe more to prepare for the future into
some sort
of like comprehensive program to try to help people that are fucked up like
that and clean
them up and it would probably have to involve psychedelic drugs.
Yeah.
That's what I was, I think that you probably, because, because it's not a money
thing, right?
People, they have money to, it's not a cure.
It's not a financial cure.
It's these people, people that are just so damaged by life in, in whether it's
chemically
damaged, psychologically damaged, maybe they don't have the right psych
medications.
Maybe they're off their meds.
You know, a lot of them have gone through horrific abuse.
Like, you don't wind up in a tent in Skid Row unless shit has gone.
It's literally the bottom of the country.
Skid Row is like the bottom of the country.
Right.
But then I wonder if you get to talk to some people and they're like, we, this
is where
we want to be.
You think some people are willingly that?
Because they don't, they're, they don't know anything else.
Right.
Right.
They don't know love.
They don't know like, uh, the accomplishment of like doing a thing and getting
better at
it and like improving upon and realizing that's kind of a vehicle for improving
yourself.
Like they, they haven't experienced like positive things.
Like the life, life is like, this is why it drives me fucking crazy when any,
everybody says
like, whenever anyone says like, pull them up by their own bootstraps, like to
tell people
to go, you know, figure it out yourself.
You know, I did or like these people, you're not dealing with the even starting
line.
If everybody had an even starting line, that would make sense.
If everybody had a mom and a dad and they grew up in a house where no one
smoked crack
and fucking shot at each other.
If you grew up in a place like that, okay, if we all grew up like, and we all
like had
a good school to go to with good education and nice teachers that cared, but
that's not
everybody's experience.
And until we fucking fix that, you're never going to fix this homeless problem.
Like I, I, you know, was lucky to grow up, how I grew up in New York city,
great parents,
whatever.
But then I just had a show in Fresno a couple of days ago.
And I said, if I grew up here, I'd be a little different.
You'd be a lot different.
Because Fresno is one of those places where I went at great time.
But I mean, those just, just being there, just being in that city for 24 hours,
I was like,
I don't know if this was my every single day, you might turn to drugs.
It's depressing.
It's depressing.
I drove from Fresno to San Jose and we were passing through Stockton and I
thought I was
in Switzerland because that's what an upgrade it was from Fresno.
I was like, what are we in the fucking Alps?
Bro, I was driving through a street in Fresno and people were walking out on in
the middle
of this tree.
Like, what the fuck are you doing dri