Name: Joe Rogan Experience #1954 - Bert Kreischer
Uploaded: 2023-03-14T00:00:00.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1954 - Bert Kreischer' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-03-14. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1954 - Bert Kreischer' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-03-14. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #1954 - Bert Kreischer

Joe Rogan podcast check it out. The Joe Rogan experience. Train by day, Joe Rogan
podcast by night, all day.
We rolling? Hey, we're up. Yeah. What a great fucking night last night. Fuck
yeah it was. Dude, I'm telling you, I woke up bubbling.
Yeah, I felt so good and last night was my first time in a managerial position.
Like I just came to hang out, make sure everything ran smooth for your show. It
was wild.
Like to be at my own club where one of my best friends is headlining and all my
other friends are opening for him.
I'm like, this is amazing. It was a pretty fucking sick lineup. I'm like, this
is what's crazy.
Incredible. If you said this 10 years ago, in Austin, Texas, the lineup that
was on last night was insane.
We've been doing that a lot though. That's what's crazy.
Like every, these Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday shows that we've been doing on
here, they're just stacked.
Dude, and then, and then let's just say highlight of my career.
They're telling, they're chanting the machine and I go, I'm not going to tell
it.
And they, they start cheering it and I go, all right, I'll tell it if Ron White
tells his tater salad story.
And then he comes on the stage.
People didn't even know he was up there.
Yes.
They go fucking crazy. He walks on stage.
I FaceTime Leanne.
I FaceTime Leanne, who's like, Ron's her favorite comic.
Guy in the front row is what, let, recording Tom Tell and Tater's, or shooting
Leanne watching it.
Yeah.
It was amazing.
I mean, I'll tell you right now.
It was so fun.
It'll show you how quick there are holes in your act.
Because then I was like, I don't think I can tell the machine right after that.
I know you were talking about that, but no, the machine's an amazing story.
It's an amazing story.
It's just, it's, you're just self-examining.
I could, I could have, I could have sat and broken down what I love about that
story for the next 15 minutes.
I could have talked about that story.
Yeah.
No, you said that on stage.
I believe it.
Yeah.
Ron's one of the best storytellers of all time.
Having him out here is, it's amazing.
Because he's like, he's such a, he's like the statesman of comedy, you know,
out here.
And he's so respected.
He's just, and he's such a good person.
He almost made me cry last night.
Such a good guy.
At the end of the night, I'm pretty loaded and he comes up and he was like, he
was like, thanks for bringing it.
That was really fun.
And he goes, I just came out to watch you tonight.
And I was like, what?
He was like, yeah, I came out to watch you.
I'm a fan.
And I was like, bro, you can't say that.
Like, that fucking killed me.
I was like, you're, that's, if there's careers that I've looked at and wanted
to emulate, it's him, Attell.
You know, those guys are the fucking, my goats, you know?
For sure.
I mean, everybody loves Ron.
Like, I've never met a comic who doesn't think Ron White's funny.
Yeah.
They don't exist.
You know?
Yeah.
I don't, I mean, I remember Leanne, Leanne's a redneck.
And when the Blue Collar Comedy Tour came out, we went and watched it in
Hollywood at the Arclight.
Oh, wow.
And she was fucking, Leanne likes two things.
Blue, that Blue Collar Comedy and fucking Steve Harvey.
If she's going to cheat on me, she's going to fuck Steve Harvey.
I can guarantee you.
She sends me clips of Steve Harvey.
Every morning there's a clip.
That's hilarious.
For the movie, when the movie's coming out, they asked us to do Family Feud.
Oh, wow.
And Leanne has never pushed our girls into anything, but she said, Isla Grace
Christ, you're doing Family Feud.
I don't give a fuck what you say.
Does Steve Harvey know this?
That your wife has a crush on him?
Oh, she has no idea.
Have you ever seen Steve Harvey eat, someone made like collard green dumplings
or something?
And he goes, takes a bite, and he freezes, and he goes, Now I'm having a black
people moment right now.
He's the fucking greatest.
Leanne's obsessed with him.
That's funny.
Isn't it funny that no one has done like a movie tour like that since?
You know, they had Kings of Comedy, Blue Collar Tour, and then nothing.
Those were so successful.
The four people tour is the key.
I do Fully Loaded.
We bring eight for Fully Loaded per show, and we switch it up.
Have you heard of the lineup this year?
No.
Louis Black, Dave Attell, Chad Daniels, Shane Gillis, Mark Norman, Big Jay Oakerson,
Dan Soder, Fortune Feimster, Tammy Pescatelli.
All on one show?
No, no, Stavros is on it.
Oh, wow.
We got a fucking sick lineup.
It's fucking, look at this.
Wow, that's amazing.
Tiffany Haddish.
That's amazing.
Jim Norton.
That's amazing.
Jay Farrow.
Rosebud.
Ralph Barbosa.
That's amazing.
Yeah, this fucking lineup is.
I just found out about Ralph Barbosa.
He's a funny dude.
He's real funny.
I watched some of his clips, and then I found out that there was some sort of a
thing with George Lopez.
And then so I had the little bitch in me started watching some fucking beef
with George Lopez and Ralph Barbosa.
That shit makes me sad.
I don't like that stupid shit like that.
I don't like beef.
I don't like nonsense beef.
Like that's the dumbest kind of beef.
Like some young guy coming up beef.
Like you don't like, I think it's just a misunderstanding.
And I think Lopez called him up and.
Oh, did he?
Yeah, yeah.
I guess they talked on the phone or something like that.
It's hilarious that I know about this silly comedy beef, but.
Dude, he's funny.
Anyway, Barbosa's funny dude.
Got a funny laid-back style.
I think it's just generational.
You're talking about like, I think George Lopez is like even older than Ralph's
parents probably.
And so it's just two different styles of what you would say Mexican comedy is.
I don't think that's what it is.
I think it's just that George didn't know who he was.
Oh, really?
Yeah, like Steve Trevino was on a show and George had brought him up.
George brought Barbosa up and he's like, who the fuck is that guy?
You keep bringing him up.
Nobody knows who that dude is.
Oh, really?
Yeah, that's.
I just saw Schultz saying someone went up to Barbosa and he was like, ah, fuck
George Lopez.
Yeah, I think that's what it was.
I think it came from him saying something on a podcast.
But I think he was just annoyed with Trevino bringing the dude's name up over
and over again for whatever reason.
I don't know.
He's funny as shit.
Yeah, he's funny as shit.
He's funny as fucking shit.
Yeah, it's, you know, that's, nothing bothers me more than like, and I don't
think that's what he was doing.
I think it was just like, who is that guy?
Like, I don't know who that guy is.
I don't think it was like, I don't like that guy.
I think he just genuinely didn't know who he was.
But nothing bothers me more than like those old dudes that don't like the young
guys coming up.
They don't like the fact that young guys are coming up.
Because I remember being in that young guy position.
I'm like, ah, you old cunt.
Like, you fucking dummy.
Like, I'm never going to be like you one day.
One day, like, if I get to your position, I'm going to be very welcoming for
the young people.
It's so stupid.
But it's like a closed door once you go through it.
That's it.
Nobody else in.
No more funny.
No more comedians.
No one else is famous.
Just me.
Forever and ever and ever.
It was like that.
It was like that back then, too.
Stingy cunts.
Yeah.
Got that fucking weird thing that people have.
Or they just want to be the only one that gets the attention.
It's so strange, man.
It's so strange.
Like, the fucking fierce jealousy that some people have when other people start
to make
it.
Yeah.
It's so dumb.
You didn't have that.
I think you blessed us with not having it.
If you look at, like, Mark Norman and Shane Gillis, I take them when I do, like,
Red Rocks
or I do big, big venues, I'll hit them up to see if they want to do it with me.
Trust me.
Trust me when I say, like, we did the Super Bowl.
We did four shows at the Mullet Arena.
Four shows.
That's how big those guys are getting.
I love that you went to the Mullet Arena.
Yeah.
How did you not bring Theo with you?
You know, he was in town that week.
I hit him up.
I hit him up and he was like, I think I lose my powers when I walk in there.
That sounds like something he would say.
Oh, he wants to move out here.
Does he?
He doesn't.
He's like a fucking vagabond.
But he's got to have a tribe.
You know, a lot of these guys, they, like, they didn't understand what was anchoring
them
in L.A.
And one of the things that was anchoring them in L.A. was that we had a tribe.
Yeah.
We would all get together at the store.
We'd all hang out in that back bar.
We'd all have fun together.
We'd all laugh and joke and fuck around.
And then we'd see each other's sets and we'd talk to each other about comedy
and shit.
You know, Theo's, he's out alone now in Nashville.
What's he doing in Nashville?
He just decided he had to get the fuck out of L.A. for his mental health.
And so he wanted to be, like, a more laid back place.
And Nashville clicked with him.
He is all over my algorithm.
Is he?
He shows up and it's gay dudes, boat crashes, and Theo.
With me, it's girls with giant asses doing squats.
It's all, like, CrossFit ladies with six packs.
Those girls, those girls will inspire me to work out.
Yeah.
There's something about a fucking jack chick with big thighs.
Yeah, that's what I like.
My God.
I like a gal who can help you move a couch.
That's what I like.
I like I'm sturdy.
My wife does not like it when I say that, by the way.
Oh, for real?
It's just like when I call her sturdy.
But she's strong.
She's strong.
I like strong women.
I like it.
I don't like, you know, I just don't think that, like, the weak, like, wafy
sort of, like,
some people are into that weak sort of wafy looking thing.
Like, that doesn't make any sense to me.
No.
I like an older woman, too, now.
Yeah.
Imagine dating a girl who's 20 now.
Oh.
Like, what?
What are you talking about?
Like, when I see Leonardo DiCaprio going out to a 19-year-old, I'm like, bro,
what do you talk about?
Yeah, what?
I mean.
What do you talk about?
Unless she's the most genius, brilliant, world-traveled, nuanced.
Dude, my assistant's 25, and I'll say things to him, and he'll go, I have no
idea what you're talking about.
You can reference a movie, like Ace Ventura, and he's like, ah, what is that?
Jim Carrey, who's, I don't know who that is.
Well, Jim Norton was on stage last night, and he had a Three Stooges reference,
and no one laughed.
I'm like, Jim, you're 55.
Like, these people do not know who the fuck Three Stooges is.
Why don't you just say Laurel and Hardy?
Yeah.
Like, go even deeper into the old-school comedy people.
Yeah, I couldn't live that life where you couldn't make references to the
things you grew up on.
Well, you can.
You know, it's like Dennis Miller always used to have references that nobody
knew what the fuck he was saying, and he had to catch up.
Yeah, but we, I don't, like, it seems like the gap of experience and what we
know has gotten so closer where it wasn't that way.
I feel like my dad and I still knew all the same references, whereas my
daughter and I do not.
They don't know anything that I've ever lived or experienced, and then they'll
say things to me like, have you ever heard of the band Tool?
And I'm like, are you being fucking serious?
Are you being serious?
I buy the guys fucking wine.
You kidding me?
And then, like, the other day, Ayla said to me, uh, uh, you ever heard of Alice
in Chains?
And I'm like, yeah, that was, like, what I went to college to.
But I, but I knew Creedence Clearwater Revival.
I knew the Sha Na Na's.
I knew all the stuff my dad listened to.
I knew Sam Cooke.
I knew those songs.
My daughters have no fucking clue of any of that.
But you also have to think about just the landscape of information that's
available to them as opposed to what it was for you.
When you were growing up, the stuff that you got was off the radio or off
television.
Like, that's it.
So you heard it.
Either you heard it at a p