Name: Joe Rogan Experience #1960 - Andrew Schulz
Uploaded: 2023-03-24T00:00:00.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1960 - Andrew Schulz' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-03-24. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1960 - Andrew Schulz' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-03-24. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #1960 - Andrew Schulz

Joe Rogan podcast, check it out.
The Joe Rogan Experience.
Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day.
What's happening, big dog?
What's up, my man?
Hey, first archery shot ever.
Oh, that was cool.
40 yards with an 80-pound compound bow.
You got it right in the fucking vitals.
It was cool.
That's an amazing thing.
You should probably quit now.
Yeah.
I mean, to take, first of all, the bow's not even set up for you.
The way the bow is set up is for me, I have shorter arms than you.
You would have a longer draw length, so you have to kind of like move your body
a little
and you sent it that peep sight.
Bro, that's a long shot for a first shot ever in a bow, 40 yards in an indoor
range.
And you got it right in the vitals.
Yeah.
Now, what were you thinking when I struggled to pull it back?
Normal.
It's weird.
Oh, that is a common thing that happened.
Yeah.
Oh, you didn't have any excuses, at least.
Brian Callen had a fucking...
Wait, what did he say?
I'm reading a scroll of excuses now.
Wait, what did he say?
My labrum...
It's probably technique, you know.
No, it's a strength thing.
Yeah.
I mean, it is technique, but it's just 80 pounds is 80 pounds.
Yeah.
It's a lot of weight.
I have a new respect for bow and arrow folks.
It's hard.
Yeah.
It's very hard, but it's really satisfying.
Like, it puts in perspective, like, the people who can do it on horseback, you
know, you see
it in the movies and shit like that.
And I don't know why I didn't think it was that hard.
Yeah, that's a next level thing.
The horseback thing is crazy.
The Mongols would time their shot when the horse was in the air.
Yeah.
So when the horse was in the air, then they would release it.
Oh, mid-gallop.
Yes.
So there would be less disturbance, less jolt on their body.
So was that...
Yeah, we always talk about, like, Genghis Khan and how he was able to take over
the world.
Was the competitive advantage horseback weaponry?
They had a lot of things going for them.
They had strategy, first of all.
They had devious, wild strategies.
Like, they would set people up.
Like, they would send a small party out and those people would go after a small
party and
chase them down.
They would lead them into, like, a canyon filled with Mongols and just
slaughter everybody and
block the exit.
Yeah.
They would hold a siege.
They would attack a city and they would bring so much food and so much, so many
supplies.
They could just camp outside the city.
Oh, and wait for them to starve.
Until everybody starved out.
And then they would start killing people and lighting them on fire and putting
them on
catapults and launching them over the walls and light their own houses on fire
with the dead
bodies of people they killed.
That's motivational.
Bro.
Yeah.
Those motherfuckers killed 10% of the population.
That's the crazy thing.
Like, I don't know.
I always wonder about these times.
Like, what was, like, the Roman Empire's advantage?
And, you know, some people chalk it up to, like, roads.
You're like, why was Genghis Khan so effective?
But at a certain point in time, it has to be technology, right?
There was a lot, man.
A lot going on.
It was the knowledge of the recurve bow.
They were really good at the recurve bows.
They had catapults.
And they just had, like, Genghis Khan just had this unquenchable desire to take
over the
world.
Yeah.
It's really crazy that, you know, no one's scared of the Mongols now, you know?
But then when one of those dudes fights in the UFC, you're like, Jesus.
Wait, who's Mongolian in the UFC?
Let's see.
Who do we have?
The Mongolian murderer.
That's one dude.
But there's people from that Caucasus region of the world.
Like, there's a lot of people from Kazakhstan and Dagestan.
Ah, so all the stands are remnants of the Mongolian Empire.
Yeah, those guys that look a little Asian.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Rachmanov.
Yeah, Shavkat, Rachmanov.
Shavkat, Rachmanov, yeah.
Ooh.
Yeah, kind of a beast.
That motherfucker's so good.
Yeah.
But they're just so tough over there.
It's just crazy that they took over the whole world at one point in time, and
then it all
went away.
Like, that's a lesson for America to learn, because Americans have this idea
that we are
the centerpiece of the military of the world.
This is it.
This is the baddest fucking army that's ever existed, bro.
No one's going to stop us.
Yeah, yeah.
But the reality is, like, every single civilization that has been in control
has gone under.
They all go under.
Now, did those civilizations have nukes?
No.
No.
That's the problem.
That's the tricky thing.
Yeah.
The problem is, if we go out, we go out ugly.
But unless China is clever, and they slowly dismantle our power grid, and
slowly pollute
our country with, like, bombing chemical factories, and do it slow over a long
period of time.
Like, if you were a real conspiracy theorist, like one of them Reddit tinfoil
hat.
Let's go deep.
Let's go deep, my boy.
You would think that China would not do a big thing, but a constant series of
small things
that people get accustomed to.
Yeah.
You know, cyber warfare.
They would start, you know, hacking into Google servers, Amazon servers, crash
everything, financial disruption, crash power grids.
Do it slow.
Do it over decades.
You've got plenty of time.
As long as you don't nuke United States first, they're not going to nuke you.
That's right.
They're not going to.
We already did that once.
We're not going to do that.
If anybody is going to be a first bomber, it's not going to be us.
It's not going to be us.
Yeah.
There's no way.
Yeah.
That's a problem.
That's a strategic problem.
Yeah.
Because we're all worried about Putin.
We're like, what if Putin gets back to the corner?
What if Ukraine starts winning?
What if you could, what if this, what if that, what if Putin really does have
cancer?
What if he decides to go out with a bang?
Like, we're worried about that.
No one's worried.
What if Biden just nukes China?
What if Biden's like, what's this, TikTok?
You don't want to talk?
You don't want to talk?
You don't want to tell us about the code?
How about this?
Boom.
Never.
Never.
We would never think that the Biden administration would go and nuke someone.
Never.
And they know that.
And because they know that, they're comfortable.
Yeah, so that you could do sneaky things.
Yeah.
I would do sneaky things.
If I was China, or if I was Russia, or if I was Iran, if I was some country
that didn't
like us, I would do sneaky things.
So is that the concern with TikTok?
Oh, yeah.
There was some fascinating conversations today.
Because it looks like they're going to ban it.
For sure, they're not telling the truth.
Like, the way this CEO was talking to the senator today is like, oh, my God.
It's like, they just want to say whatever they have to say to get out of there.
Like, he doesn't answer the questions.
He dances around.
And the senator keeps trying to say, that's a yes or no question.
Right.
That's a yes or no question.
Yeah.
Like, these dudes have been sending data to China from day one.
Yeah.
And they're doing something with that data.
They're accumulating.
They're finding out how coordinated our kids are.
Yeah.
They got facial recognition on all of them.
That's what the dances are about.
They're just trying to find out how coordinated.
Imagine.
Bro.
Wow.
Every TikTok trend is just a little bit of a little information about our youth.
Hmm.
Also, how easily, like, led they are.
You could get them to that app.
Well, cloud is the currency.
It's cloud.
But they have so many things going for them.
First of all, it's very easy to get a big following there.
It's very easy to get shared.
Instantaneous, it feels.
You can blow up.
Yeah.
So that gets people excited about it and they use it.
And it's genuinely a really good portal for creativity.
Like, some people do some interesting shit on there.
It's amazing.
This is, I almost think it's our fault it's successful because we didn't think
of it.
Yeah.
Like, we need some responsibility here.
Like, why is another country coming up with the best form of social media?
That's on us.
We dominated social.
That's Adam Curry's theory.
What do you say?
Adam Curry doesn't believe it's any different in the way it gathers data than
what the American social media platforms are.
It's just a better distributor of that data.
He just thinks that, no, this is just China kicking our ass and we want to stop
them from doing that.
Yeah.
That we're not doing things that are that much different than what they're
doing.
I don't know if that's true.
Well, I don't know.
It's just Adam is very smart, though.
Yeah, no, I think that there's something to that.
It's like, you want to win the culture war and we've done that so well, right?
Like, we had all these movies, these TV shows that, like, shared our culture
around the world and that culture was romantic.
It's sexy.
You want to watch fucking Top Gun.
You go watch Maverick and you're just like, oh, my God, how amazing is it to be
American?
How about when Rocky wins with American shorts on?
Got American flag shorts on?
The best.
Away game, too.
You know what I mean?
Like, over there running in the snow.
The Russians are cheering for them.
Yeah.
If we can change, you can change.
We all change.
30 years later, same fucking problem.
Same fucking problem.
Bro, I remember when that problem went away.
I remember when the wall came down, we were so relaxed.
It was amazing.
Take me back to this.
All right, see, when I was in high school, okay, in the 1980s, I was a freshman
in 1981, and back then, we were terrified of war with Russia.
It was a terrifying fear of a nuclear war with the Soviet Union.
And break this down to me, so it's like, is it, you're watching the news, and
they keep, is there, like, fear-mongering?
Do you believe it?
Does it feel less propagandist?
100% fear-mongering.
100% there was fear-mongering.
Hmm.
There was, look, it's always been, if it bleeds, it leads in the news.
You know, we talk about how bad the news is today, but the reality is, like, 5
o'clock news, when you get home from work, it was always the worst shit that
happened.
Double homicide in Brooklyn.
Yeah, yeah.
It's always the worst shit of the day, and also out of perspective, because it's
the worst shit out of millions and millions of people, right?
But the big one was always Russia, and you would see the Soviet Union, and, you
know, you would see their leaders, and you would see their army, and it was
terrifying.
Yeah.
They were the last great communist empire, you know, before China, right,
before China really blew up militarily.
Yeah.
Back then, we weren't worried about China.
Everybody was worried about the Soviet Union.
And you felt fear.
100%.
I talked to my wife, and she's younger than me, and she felt the same thing.
And some of my other friends, I asked them, they grew up in different parts of
the country, and they were like, oh, yeah, everyone was scared.
Scared of the fucking Russians, man.
Like, there was all those movies, like, Red Dawn, where the Russians invade, we
kicked our fucking ass.
Send them back home.
Yeah.
You know, that was what everybody was afraid of.
And then the wall fell.
And so, when the wall fell and the Soviet Union collapsed, we have to realize,
like, that was a monumental change in the world.
Yeah.
People relaxed.
Yeah.
Look, we relaxed.
I was like, thank God.
There's no more war anymore.
So, what year is this?
What year was the collapse of the wall?
What year did they blow?
I want to say, I want to say 89?
90?
So, then the 90s comes on, and then in the-
What year was it, Jamie?
89.
89.
89.
Okay, so 90s.
So, the 90s come along, and no one's worried about war anymore.
Yes.
Is there a cultural apathy?
Well, there was a lot of bad things were made in the 90s.
Some of the worst American cars that have ever existed were made during the 90s.
We got real sloppy in the 90s.
I look at, like, one of the things I look about with America, like, how in tune
America is, what's their cars like?
What's their cars like?
So, Spa