Name: Joe Rogan Experience #1962 - Eddie Huang
Uploaded: 2023-03-29T00:00:00.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1962 - Eddie Huang' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-03-29. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1962 - Eddie Huang' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-03-29. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #1962 - Eddie Huang

Joe Rogan podcast, check it out.
The Joe Rogan experience.
Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day.
Hello.
What up, man?
Good to see you, my friend.
What's cracking?
Been forever.
I know.
2017, I think, was the last time.
Well, I have to go back and check, but was the last time that I saw you on the
podcast,
that the last time I saw you?
I think it was.
We came with, like, a voting expert before the election.
Like, it might have been, like, 2017.
That's right.
I think, because we did hot yoga, then I came back on the show.
Yeah, we did hot yoga for your show.
That was fun.
Yeah, that was dope.
That was fun.
That was fun.
Then Vice ran out of money and, you know, couldn't do the show anymore.
Well, somebody got money.
Didn't Shane Smith make a fucking ton of loot?
Shane's the man.
Yeah, I love that dude.
I still talk to Shane, but, no, it was, I think the end of Wong's World was
just, they
were like, yo, we still want to do Wong's World, but can we make it domestic?
And I wanted to do films, and I was just like, love you, I'm going to go make
this film.
So, they wanted to do it in the United States because of travel costs?
Yeah.
Yeah.
And just because Viceland, the first couple years, it was just, the accounting
was off.
People were just spending money crazy.
Bro, it started out, they would take these guys with glasses on, these nerds,
and send
them over to, like, the middle of a goddamn war zone.
These dudes would be filming with a flak jacket on, and bombs are blowing off
in the Middle
East, and they're just reporting there.
You're like, whoa, Vice is wild.
Yeah.
It was the best, because Vice would just pick the most dangerous shit and be
like, here's
$30,000, go with a, like, you know, 5D camera.
And fucking come back with some footage and try not to die.
And then, once it became the TV channel, it got crazy.
Because, I mean, I was probably the biggest perpetrator.
So, like, in all fairness to Shane, somebody needed to be like, Eddie, you're
burning money
crazy.
Because I was going to, like, F1 tracks, and I literally, the last episode, I
went
on an F1 track in Abu Dhabi, and Shane was there, and he's like, what are you
doing here?
You're a fucking food show.
And I was like, I don't know, I got to drive this car.
It's like getting caught by your boss.
That's hilarious.
Oh, you're going to try Formula One food, bro.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I was like, I'm going to try the concessions.
Dude, they sent David Cho to the Congo to look for a dinosaur.
Have you ever seen that?
Yeah.
That's the most ridiculous shit of all time.
It might be the greatest Vice episode ever.
Bro, it's an amazing episode.
Yeah.
That and Haimo's Arctic Adventure.
That's my favorite one.
That's the one about that dude who lives in Alaska.
His subsistence survives in this very small cabin, and he's the last person
that's allowed
to own this cabin in this wilderness.
I haven't seen it.
Woo, that one's heavy.
That's heavy.
But the Cho episode's the best because there's so many people now, especially
in LA, that are
like, for a honeymoon, or like, for the holidays, I'm going to go to the Congo.
I want to go to West Africa, and I'm just like, bro, watch that episode real
quick.
Yeah, watch that episode.
That's not where you're staying, but it's close to where you're trying to go.
Like, check that episode out.
You're in the middle of a conflict zone.
It's very dangerous being down there.
Yeah.
You know, it's just, poof, and probably no dinosaurs.
No.
There's probably no dinosaurs.
I want to go to Ethiopia, but I'm not going where Cho went.
Wherever Cho went, I'm like, I'm not going back.
David's wild, man.
He went, he camped with the Hadza, he stayed with the Hadza, and went hunting
with them.
Yeah.
He was saying that when they shot, they were shooting baboons to eat, and he
said, it's
crazy when they shoot a baboon, it grabs the arrow.
And like, you see it grab the arrow, you're like, yo, that's a little too weird,
you know?
Cho was really putting himself in danger.
Oh, yeah.
I was more like the Vanderpump Cho, you know what I mean?
I was like, let's have a nice fucking-
Formula One in Abu Dhabi.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Let's live it up.
Beautiful people, beautiful land.
Yeah.
Have a good time.
Let's see some fucking people here.
Have a good time.
Stay in a nice hotel.
Yeah.
I chose like the opposite of conflict zones.
You know, I haven't been- I've been to Dubai once.
I was there in- there was a UFC in Abu Dhabi, and we did the weigh-ins in Dubai,
and that
was the only time I've ever been there, but I was like, wow, this place is
crazy.
But everybody I know that goes over there says, like, you can't even believe
what you're
looking- there's no crime, and it's this, like, massive city.
Yeah.
And it's all- everything's, like, opulent and beautiful, and people are moving
there just
because it's an amazing place to live.
Yeah, but the funny thing is, I'm just like, how long is this thing going to
last?
Because they're, like, importing water for, like, plumbing, you know?
How are they doing that?
I mean, I think they're just stealing water from everywhere.
Like, we steal- like, we steal water, you know?
But it's like-
Who owns the water?
I have no idea.
I didn't look into it, but it's like, all the workers are brought in.
All the water is brought in.
Like, they don't- it's, like, in the middle of nowhere in the desert.
Bro, it's Daniel Day-Lewis.
I drink your milkshake.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
But I love Dubai.
Like, Dubai was a great time.
It's beautiful over there.
At least the small amount of it I saw.
Vice had a very disturbing piece about them back in the day, too.
About the construction.
Yes, the migrant workers get crushed.
Thank you.
They need to do, like, a sex worker special in Dubai, too, because the stories
I hear from, like, the people who have gone there for some work, like, shitting
in buckets, dog.
Oh, jeez.
Like, shitting in buckets in Dubai.
Oh, my God.
I feel like that would be a good title of a doc.
Shitting in buckets?
Shitting in buckets in Dubai.
That's what's so fascinating about people, that there's people that are living
at the, like, the top of luxury at the same time people are living on dirt
floors with no electricity in a shack that they built out of scraps just trying
to figure out how to eat that day.
And that there's more of those people than there are the people living in
luxury.
But if you look at any kind of, like, billboards and advertisement, depictments
of life, it's almost always the luxury one.
It's always the person, like, with the fucking fantastic view of the ocean
behind them when they're eating their breakfast at some luxury five-star resort.
Like, that's what people look towards.
Yeah.
But it's all existing simultaneously.
And then the guy that's actually living the luxurious life, not the actor on
the billboard, he's, like, painting an escort to shit in a bucket and then
fucking eat it with a caviar spoon.
Oh, my God.
No.
Yeah, bro.
That's what I'm talking about.
Oh, my God.
I thought they didn't have bathrooms.
No.
I didn't understand you were saying shit in a bucket because that's a kink.
Yeah, like, put your fucking clear heels on and shit in this bucket.
Oh, bro.
Yeah.
How much does a girl get paid for something like that?
Jamie just made a noise.
I'm going to plead ignorance.
Yeah.
Out of all the acts that you would have someone do, imagine, like, that's your
thing.
Yeah.
I would really like to watch you take a shit in a bucket.
Really?
Yeah.
Just, like, let's see what you had for lunch.
Oh, God.
Is that Terry Black's barbecue in there?
Jesus Christ.
Jesus Christ.
It just goes all the way around, man.
You get to the top, you get rich, and then I think you just want to eat, like,
I don't
know.
Different jobs that suck, but anytime you're dealing with human shit, that's,
like, as
far on the bad side of the spectrum as is possible.
If you are interacting with other people's shit, like, ooh, that's not a good
job.
Yeah, and human shit is different than, like, dog shit.
Oh, way different.
There's some, like, dog shit, I'm like, all right.
I had to pick up human shit once, and I was like, bro, this, this is fucking
crazy.
It smells weird.
It's too close to home, man.
Bro, our diets are terrible.
It is, yeah.
I mean, dogs, most of the time, they're just eating dog food.
What's interesting about a dog is if you give a dog something other than what
it's accustomed
to eating, they get diarrhea.
Have you ever had to pick up another human shit?
Other than my kids when they were little, you know, you have to, like, clean
their diaper,
and sometimes there's a mess.
No, I don't think so.
It's interesting when it's your child, though.
When it's a child, like, it's, like, it doesn't even phase you.
It's, like, it's you.
It's, like, cleaning your own shit.
It's really interesting.
It's, like, you know, if someone was right next to you on an airplane, they
were changing
a baby diaper, which has happened to me before, you're, like, yo.
Like, you kind of look away, like, it's, whoa.
The smell and this little baby's assholes all fucking covered in poop, you know?
It's just, like, okay, but what do you got to do?
Like, I get it.
You got to change.
But if it's your kid, it's weird.
It's, like, it doesn't seem even, like, you know, when you take a shit.
It's very rare that I take a shit, and I'm, like, Jesus Christ, let me get out
of here.
Like, what the fuck is that smell?
Like, maybe once every three or four months.
Yeah.
Most of the time I take a shit, it's normal.
I just flush it, it's normal.
That's what it's like when it's a kid's shit.
It's, like, it doesn't even, it's not even gross.
I think I'm once a month stinky.
Like, once a month, I'm, like, mm.
Once a month.
Mm, don't try that recipe again.
It's usually when I feel, like, a rumble before I know I have to take a shit.
Like, geez, what is that?
Okay, I better get in there.
And then when you get in there, just, whoa!
And whatever that rumble is, is probably some gases that have been stewing up
inside of
your bowels.
No, I knew I really loved my wife, because one day I had to pick up her shit,
and I was
like, bro, picking up adult, adult human shit is fucking, like, babies, I get
it.
Yeah.
Babies, you expect it.
I think a lot of your reactions in life, it's about expectation.
Like, if you're expecting to be punched in the face, it doesn't, like, you're
not going
to get knocked out.
People always say that.
Yeah, that's true, yeah.
You see it coming, you won't get knocked out.
Well, sometimes you still get knocked out.
Depends on how hard somebody hits you.
Like, if Francis Ngannou hits you in the face, even if you won't get out of me.
Yeah, I would be knocked out.
Most of us are getting knocked out.
For sure.
Almost everybody.
For sure.
If it really hits you.
But I think if it's somebody that's, like, on his level and sees it coming and
in a fight
with him, I feel like maybe.
Maybe, probably not.
But the point is that if you don't see it, it's amazing what knocks you out.
Yeah.
Like, a lot of things knock you out.
It could be light.
Yeah, it's not, it just has to hit you clean.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's what happened.
My girl had, like, a crazy food poisoning moment, and then she was like, yo,
Eddie,
come downstairs.
I was like, what?
What?
And she was like, I shit on the floor.
And it turned out, like, I can't tell the whole story because she's got to tell
it one
day.
But, like, it turned out it wasn't food poisoning.
She had a much more serious, like, health condition situation.
But, like, I turned when she's like, I shit on the floor, and I saw, like, a
little Hershey
kiss.
I'm like, all right.
Like, it's still weird.
You didn't make it to the bathroom.
But, like, that's not bad.
If you love her, it's a good test.
Yeah, I picked it up.
I picked it up, you know?
Whatever, which is people.
Yeah.
If you had to do it every day, I'd get tiresome, though.
No.
If she started testing your boundaries, Amber Heard style, she'