Name: Joe Rogan Experience #1969 - Sam Tallent
Uploaded: 2023-04-12T00:00:00.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1969 - Sam Tallent' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-04-12. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1969 - Sam Tallent' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-04-12. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #1969 - Sam Tallent

Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out.
The Joe Rogan Experience.
Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day.
I've been running Sam Talent with them headphones and joining the fucking party.
Get the microphone up about like a fist from your face.
Jamie, how's this?
Do I sound powerful and elegant?
Thank you.
Bro, you are powerful and elegant.
Thanks, man.
You are enough.
I appreciate that.
I'm good enough.
I had a friend of mine and she was asking me something just about comedy.
And I go, I just, you know, no one, I don't like my stuff.
No one likes their stuff.
Like you see it too much.
It just like it gets in your head and you're like, you like, I look at it like
a hater.
And she goes, I just want you to know, no matter what, that you are enough.
I go, what?
I go, no, no, no, that's not what I'm saying.
I'm not saying like, like, I don't like my stuff.
Like I have a problem.
Like I'm a crazy person.
No, I'm just like, that's just the process.
Yeah.
Like I feel good.
Right.
Like, but that thing that people say to people, you are enough.
I just want you to know that you are enough.
Look, I don't need validation from you, lady.
She's a nice lady.
I'm sure she's a nice lady.
She's a very nice lady.
But I don't think you're going to her to be like, can you hold my hand through
this difficult period?
I think some people do do that to people and they go fishing for that kind of
response.
Yeah.
That you are enough.
I'm like, no, no, I'm okay.
It's like, look, I know.
Look around, lady.
I kind of made Austin a thing.
Yeah, I know I'm okay.
I mean, it's sweet of her, but.
Yeah, she's awesome.
I also hate watching my shit, dude.
You hate it?
That'd be my Guantanamo.
That making me watch all my old specials?
Yuck.
God damn it.
Or like a YouTube clip from like 2007?
That's the thing that you have to do, too, like when working on new material.
I either watch or listen to it.
Yeah.
Have to listen to it.
Just have to.
I've got to know what makes me groan.
What makes me go, yuck.
What's the cringe in there?
Yeah, what's the yuck?
How do I cut the yuck out of that?
Yeah.
It's just like, you're going to have that.
You've got to look at your act like you're a hater.
Oh, for sure.
I do.
Luckily, I never have any moments where I'm like, oh, this is working out.
I watch and I'm like, why is your leg like that?
I can barely hear the joke.
I'm like, Jesus Christ, look at your hair.
When did that leave?
Look how far that's receding.
Jesus.
Yeah.
Have you always, how long have you been shaving your head?
12 years?
Yeah.
Something like that.
I'm going there, man.
Yeah, it's way better.
Yeah?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You don't think about it anymore.
It's like, oh, it's like one less thing to think about.
If you have a good shaped head.
I don't.
Some people have flat heads.
Yeah.
Their head's flat, but now you've got a new joke about having a flat head.
Yeah, then I have to turn around or have a mirror behind me.
That's fine.
Yeah, it's all right.
Give him a little fucking...
I'm going to get into props.
Give him a little look at the flat.
Yeah.
No, I don't have a good head.
It's bumpy.
I think if I shaved my head, I would go mutton chops.
I would leave the chops.
Why don't you go fucking full Sufi beard?
Yeah, just lower.
Just the lower beard, like from Dagestan.
Yeah, right here.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Amish, go underneath the chin.
Yeah, the apple butter.
Do they have Amish do it?
They go underneath, right?
I think there's some kind of like recessive allele where they're not like God
keeps them
from having any hair on their cheeks.
There's so many Muslims who fight in the UFC who have shaved heads and they
grow a full
ass beard.
There's the Amish one.
That's ridiculous.
So he is shaving it.
That shit is not catching on.
No.
Anybody.
No.
Yeah, that's a weird middle ground, right?
Because he could eat food with no problem at all, which is like kind of a cop
out.
You know what he's not eating?
What?
Pussy.
They don't eat pussy?
I don't think so.
They're not allowed to eat pussy.
Those guys' forearms, have you seen an Amish guy with his shirt off?
They jerk off a lot, I'm sure.
Your shirt?
They have to do it to memory, right?
Yeah, I think so.
Like they can't be watching porn.
No.
The Amish beer is typically a-
They just have wood carvings.
What did you say?
Because Amish men shave their mustaches off, you may be wondering how now if an
Amish are allowed to shave.
While married men may shave their mustaches only, unmarried men may shave their
beards too.
The only prohibition on shaving applies to the beards of married men.
Oh, okay.
So it's like a wedding ring.
So once you have a full beard, all the hoes need to leave you the fuck alone.
Yeah, it's like, hey, I'm taken, ladies.
Yeah, he's taken, bitches.
That's why he's growing this gross-ass beard.
Yeah, God forbid they see your chin.
Isn't it funny that you're on the marketplace if you don't have a beard?
You're like, you're this guy out there with no beard.
Yeah, you're swinging your peacock.
Yeah, imagine the fucking Mrs. Amish and Mr. Amish have a fight and he just,
watch this bitch.
Just half of it.
Just shaves his beard off.
I'm halfway out the door.
She starts crying, runs outside, makes some butter real quick.
Makes some butter.
They don't have any electricity.
They make their own houses.
Dude, those Amish, the way they raise houses so quick.
Oh, they're really good at it.
Yeah.
And then Mennonites, they're, you know, they're like rough around the edges.
I don't know any Mennonites, but I did meet one with Ari Shafir at the airport.
And I found out because he asked her.
What are you?
Yeah.
Classic Ari.
Oh, no, it wasn't at the airport.
I'm sorry.
It was at a rest stop.
It was at a rest stop in Massachusetts, I think.
I think we were in between gigs, just driving to a gig.
What are you?
What did you ask her?
What are you?
Yeah, what is that?
Yeah.
She's wearing an outfit.
What's up with the bonnet?
Which one are you?
It is fucking weird, though, man.
You know what's weird?
Is that when people do a really shitty job, it's a cult.
When they do a really good job, it's a religion.
But it's basically the same system that it works on in the human brain.
Yeah.
It works on the same mechanisms.
Like, someone has all the answers and they have a connection to a higher power.
That's why.
You know, one of the things that creeps me out about atheism, it's not atheism
itself.
It's that I think that tendency to just find a group of ideas that you will
wholesale subscribe to is, like, built into us.
I think it's a cultural thing like war.
And I think when people don't have that, if it's not, like, if they don't have
Christianity or Islam or Buddhism or Judaism, whatever they don't have, they'll
put it into something else.
I think that, I think it's a normal part of being a person for some strange
reason.
Well, yeah, we were trying to find community all the time, right?
We're seeking ways to, like, make whatever our small group is be safe and maybe
work with other like-minded groups.
And when it comes to, like, atheism, it's wild when people become fundamental
about that, you know?
Like, when you're devout to the idea of atheism, it's like, I don't think there's
anything after this, you know?
But I'm also not going to, like, become an apostate for many other ideas, you
know?
I don't know why anybody would be sure one way or the other.
Oh, I don't know, because you have to be, I think.
Unless some, well, it would help you if you were.
Yeah.
So the thing about it, like, Jordan Peterson says this, that you should live
your life as if God is real.
And if you live your life as if God is real, you will definitely live a better
life.
I was like, that's a very interesting way of thinking about it.
Because if you're wrong, there's no consequences, because you just die.
But if you're living that way, at the very least, you'll have less anxiety.
Oh, for sure.
You'll have more of a sense of purpose.
Yeah.
And you'll probably do the right thing more often, because you'll be sort of,
like, aiming to that, like, looking to do, like, as a good Christian.
Like, I know a lot of people that are Christians that are really good people.
And it's because they aim towards that.
They think about that all the time.
Yeah.
They think about what would God want me to do.
They think about what does God teach.
And they, like, they're aiming in that.
They're still human.
They're still, we're all fucked.
For sure.
But they're aiming in that direction.
Let's underline that.
We are all fucked.
We're all fucked.
Let's not forget that.
The whole population.
I don't like when people do things because they are trying to cash checks in
heaven.
I do like it when you're just doing it because it's the right thing to do.
Like, when you give a homeless guy five bucks and he's like, God bless you.
Yeah.
I'm the kind of dickhead who's like, there's no God involved in this.
This is one man trying to help one man.
I'm doing this because I think it's going to benefit you.
Not because I'm talking, you know, trying to get up to the big man.
That's true.
But maybe he's saying, God bless you.
Like, he's so happy that you did that for him.
It's the nicest thing he knows how to say.
He really hopes good things happen to you as well.
Sure.
I know.
It's a weird thing, right?
Mm-hmm.
Because, like, you feel like if you buy into it, you're being a dupe.
You're getting duped.
You know?
Oh, they got you.
They got you with that nonsense.
What'd they get you with that?
Mormonism shit?
Yeah.
You think you're going to get your own planet when you die, stupid?
Which is pretty cool, let's be honest.
If you're going to pick one.
I have a friend in California, and she was a Mormon for a long time.
And she decided to stop being a Mormon.
And when she decided to stop being a Mormon, one of the craziest things that
she said was,
she goes, I realized that I was way more vulnerable to, like, weird culty stuff,
like spirituality
and yoga and that kind of...
She goes, I felt like because I'd accepted devout Mormonism my whole life, I
hadn't questioned
anything.
That as an adult, questioned, like, she left, I think she left in her late 30s
or 40s.
So as an adult, like, she just became vulnerable to, like, kind of hucksters,
energy healers
and, you know, that kind of shit.
Like, it seemed like, oh, that makes sense.
Yeah.
Like, that's what I'm looking...
Like, there's a fucking program in our head where we want to believe nonsense.
And whether that program is attached to the Republican Party, whether it's
attached to being
a fucking Buddhist or...
Yeah.
Being a...
Did you see the Dalai Lama sucking on that kid's tongue?
Of course.
Yeah.
What the fuck?
Oh, yeah.
Could you...
Slurping a boy tongue?
In front of a bunch of people.
Yeah.
Like, what...
A whole bunch of people.
What the fuck?
You thought you were going to get away with this?
What...
What the fuck?
What the fuck is that?
I watched it, I was like, this is wild.
I remember they tried to cancel him a few years back because he was talking
about marriage
and they said, you took a vow of celibacy.
Like, how do you feel about this?
And he's like, I have so many friends and they're married and then they get
divorced and they're not happy.
And then the woman takes all their money.
Ha, ha, ha, ha.
Yeah.
And this woman said something to the tune of, well, you know, some women, they
make money too.
He's like, ah, good one.
High five.
It was something.
Something.
Oh, sure.
Now I've heard everything, lady.
It was one of those fucking, it was a weird interview, man.
But it was weird.
Like, he's like parroting out these tropes.
Right.
You know, about marriage and divorce.
And it's really funny.
It's like, because some of them fail.
But this is supposed to be a spiritual leader.
Right.
He's supposed to be like completely ascended and bigger than any thought.
He's supposed to be, he's supposed to be saying that some marriages are
wonderful and beautiful.
Because they are.
Right.
Like, for him to say, oh, w