Name: The Burmese Python Invasion of Florida
Uploaded: 2023-04-20T17:28:50.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Burmese Python Invasion of Florida' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-04-20. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Burmese Python Invasion of Florida' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-04-20. Transcript available.

- The Joe Rogan Experience.
- Yeah, I feel like zero connection to birds.
Like, I don't want to pet bird, you know?
- Right, right.
- Pet dog, pet cat, even pet weird pets,
like pet horse, I get it.
- Yeah, I get it too.
- Yeah, but like a pet snake?
The fuck are you doing?
- Oh, that's--
- You got a monster that lives with you.
You got a monster that you feed.
That's all that is.
That is a heartless serpent. - They size you up.
- Yeah, they size you up.
And the only reason why they're not eating you
is 'cause you're not big enough.
- Or they're not big enough.
- They're not big enough, and if they grow up,
but this is what I was talking about,
the guy, the python hunting.
I think in Florida now, anyone can hunt a python
and you get a prize too, like you get money.
Then you get serious money.
I don't know if it's like a thousand bucks or what?
- Did you ever see the video of the guy,
there's something wrong with his ceiling,
and they're pulling on the ceiling,
and the pythons were in the ceiling and it collapses,
and you see like three or four pythons
- Yes. - Are in his fucking ceiling?
- Yes. - And they're huge.
- Huge. - Huge.
- Like where the fuck is that place?
And how do I make sure I never go there?
- Malaysia.
- Where was it? - Malaysia.
- Malaysia.
- Holy shit, Malaysia.
Watch this video.
This is so crazy. - Oh God.
- Look at this.
- Look at the size of them! - Bro!
How many is there?
There's two?
Three?
There's the tail, that might be one.
- Three. - It says three all over ten feet long.
- Three.
Three all over ten feet long.
In the fucking ceiling!
- Even when you get them out, how are you going back to sleep?
- How do you go back to sleep after that?
You're never going back to sleep and you're not getting them out.
They obviously have nested up there.
- Oh my God.
- Look at the size of these.
- Look at the size of these motherfuckers.
So they must have heard them scurrying around the ceiling.
They caught one in my development.
- A python?
- Yeah.
- How big was it?
- I think it was like 10 feet.
- Oh my God.
- And that's like, I mean, they found a record size one recently.
I think it was 18 feet.
I think it was 18 or 19 feet.
And they think they get bigger.
Like they don't even know how big they ultimately get.
This is not their environment, right?
- Did you see this video?
- What?
- These guys were...
- Pulling out a snake?
- No, they got in trouble.
- Something happened like, it's at a pet store.
- Killing over 300 pythons and a boa constrictor.
- But they did like, they killed the wrong one
or something like that.
One of these was pregnant.
It had like 50 in it, inside of it or something.
- So why are they killing these things?
- I mean, they're in Florida and they're...
- Oh, so now he realized he killed the wrong one.
- They killed the wrong one or something like that, yeah.
- Oh, the longer video of like them killing it
is pretty intense.
- I don't need to see that.
I mean, the whole thing is weird that they allowed those
as exotic pets and then these people just let them go in the swamp.
- Right. And then you just keep multiplying.
Don't you remember that too?
- Apparently that's only a part of the problem though.
I thought that was the whole problem.
Another part of the problem was that there was a wildlife research facility
where they were studying pythons.
And somehow or another, it got destroyed in a storm
and the pythons got out.
- Oh, the hurricane injury, I think.
- Is that true?
- So yeah, so that's also part of the problem.
So some of it is exotic pets and some of it is these ones
that they released from this research facility.
- But it's more mind boggling to me how just a couple can turn into completely
taken over.
- They took over everything because they're invasive.
There's nothing knows to fear them.
- But even when they're little, I figure, what is the survival rate if they're
in the water with gators
and you have bobcats?
- Yeah. Hurricane Andrews, it was that.
That is part of the python problem.
- Right. I think they don't know exactly what, you know, which percentage comes
from
the pets from the 1970s and shit, people let go.
- Right.
- Thousands of specimens of exotic species escaped their cages and enclosures
during the passing of
the storm through the South Dade County. State environmental inspectors
reporting reported 10 days
after the hurricane, witnesses spotted hundreds of large snakes and non-venomous
snakes loose.
- Mmm.
- Wow. Hundreds.
And now those hundreds are half a million. There's a half a million pythons,
they estimate.
So because Burmese python invasion of South Florida Everglades, populations of
raccoons and opossums
dropped roughly 99% and some species of rabbits and foxes effectively
disappeared. Species that had long
flourished here were being decimated by the aggressive newcomers.
- Wow.
- Wow. That's amazing.
- Yeah. That's why it's, it's a free-for-all now.
So go ahead, go get them.
- It is a free-for-all. You know what else they've spotted in the Everglades?
- Go get them.
- They spotted Nile crocodiles.
So they don't know how they got in there. They don't know if someone's pet, but
they had a
kill on sight order for Nile crocodiles. They don't know if it's a breeding
pair. They don't know,
you know, they just, they, they have spotted at least one Nile crocodile in the
Everglades.
- Crocodile is a whole different animal.
- That's a whole different animal.
- It's a whole different set. But I...
- That's like a wolf compared to a German Shepherd.
- Right. I was in Costa Rica, kids were just doing like a vacation, staying in
whatever.
And I remember being in the water, in the beach.
- Yeah.
- Yeah. I was swimming around and I didn't go, the, the, the beach dropped off
where we were. It was like a
river that let in the, and the ocean was close and it dropped by a little bit.
And I mean,
I was in there, I was toying around. I wouldn't go too deep and I stayed close.
And the next day
we went back there. It was a big freaking...
- Crocodile slide.
- No, he was banked on there.
- Yeah.
- And I went, oh my God. And I just couldn't believe no one else was in the
water.
- Yeah.
- Dude.
- Yeah.
- Could have been it.
- Could have been it.
- Could have been it.
- Could have been it.
- See that? I'm safe in Florida, kayaking.
- I was on a, um, a tour of, uh, the crocodile habitat with my kids when they
were there. The
youngest were like, they were probably like six and eight somewhere around then.
- Yeah.
- And, uh, it was so creepy, dude. I was so, like, every time they moved, like,
get away from the edge, get away from the edge. I was like, I was so hover
parenting,
which is like, and the kids are crazy. Like, I want to sit on the railing. I'm
like,
fuck, no, you can't sit on the railing.
- Right.
- Like, don't do this. Like, if you go in that water, I'm going in that water
too. And we're both
- You see, you see the guy?
- Yeah.
- The guy who did that?
- What happened?
- The guy with the dog?
- Oh yeah, I did see that, but that was a little one.
- It was a little dog, but yeah.
- Little gator too. It wasn't a big gator. And that guy did get his dog back.
That guy's a
fucking savage.
- I don't know how you did that with your kids. You must have been freaking out.
- Freaking out. Freaking out.
- Freaking out.
- And we saw them and they slide into the water right in front of you. There
was this alligator slide,
- Yeah.
- Or crocodile slide rather. So you're on this body of water and then right
where the bank is,
you see the crocs sunning themselves and then you see them slide into the water.
It's so creepy.
- It is creepy.
- It's so creepy because they are just killing machines and you're in just this
fucking boat.
- It's just a boat.
- And you see them on land too. You don't think they're fat. They can move on
land.
- Oh, they move.
- They move quick.
- They move faster than we can. They can run faster than us.
- Wait, what is this?
- He's in their tent and they turn those up. It says hundreds of alligators or
crocodiles behind them.
I don't know.
- In their tent.
- I mean, whoa!
- So they camped on the beach?
- Yeah, they're hanging out.
- Did you see the one on the right?
- Oh my God. Look at that. He looks outside his tent.
- Oh my God. Oh my God. You literally camped at the spot where they go.
- Where they knew he was there and they were going to go eat them.
- What the fuck do you do? What the fuck do you do there?
- Do you leave?
- Do you leave?
- Yeah.
- What if you run into another group of them?
- Right.
- Like higher up the hill.
- Right.
- Imagine you're out of breath. You're running up the hill, running up the hill.
And you get to the top and you realize there's more alligators up there.
- There's ten times the amount.
- Yeah. And you're out of breath now.
- I can't run.
- No.
- I mean, you've got to do some research before you go there, I think.
- You know what freaks me out more?
- Young kids. They're reckless.