Name: Joey Diaz on Quitting Xanax
Uploaded: 2023-04-21T17:38:32.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joey Diaz on Quitting Xanax' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-04-21. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joey Diaz on Quitting Xanax' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-04-21. Transcript available.

the Joe Rogan experience when I was on the Xanax it was basically during the
pandemic I had 10,000 of those things at the house 10,000 because he was
sending
me 90 a month from 2012 on automatic monthly how was it they were just going
in the closet they were just going in the fuck when did you take it 2012 was
when I got it prescribed when I had my little situation at the comedy store
that
we goofed about that was none of that's not that was not good there's no way I
should be on a standing walking 10 count that's what that was that night when I
had to follow Morgan Murphy a standing walking 10 count well I went up to I
asked
Paulie Shaw I told you this story and then we laughed about it but dog it now
thinking about it I should have done something I went to the comedy store I'm
in the back you weren't there I think you had you were coming in later yes you
were
coming in later cuz on Saturdays I used to do the close the original room uh-huh
talking bullshit with Paulie everybody's in the back no reefer maybe a joint
before I
got there you know Saturday night just look the girls I get there they take
Joey
you're up next I walk to the thing and as I'm walking I walk up the steps to
the
original room and Morgan's on stage and Paulie's standing there laughing at it
and I
walk up and I'm like damn I don't fucking feel good like this is not working I
was
starting to get anxiety I couldn't breathe I couldn't breathe but I went to
look at
that window for years whenever I had anxiety in the original room I had a
window when I'm on stage I got a window on the right remember yeah and we can
look
out the sunset yeah I was always good that day particular when I went in there
I
didn't see a fucking window so I was waiting for Morgan to get off and also I
got this anxiety joy couldn't breathe I couldn't fucking breathe so I walked
down
the stairs just to look at the door again and I got worse it got worse I
couldn't breathe I thought I was gonna fucking have a heart attack I go Paulie
I
can't get on stage I'm having a horrible anxiety attack he goes I just went up
dude and I walked up there and I told you but I didn't explain it to you
correctly because I was cracking a joke I woke up at the 12 minute mark hmm I
remember walking past Paulie and that's it Joe that's it and then I remember
waking up on stage and people laughing and I was probably on automatic pilot I
had a
bit that it was on automatic pilot that was when you got on Xanax no it was a
couple weeks I went to the doctor and he goes what was I kept having these
little
panic attacks kept having these little panic attacks little panic attacks I was
okay I wasn't gonna go to a psychiatrist we were working our asses off we didn't
know what the fuck was going on so I started taking the Xanax hmm and it would
help it a little bit I would take it on the road if I went on a plane or
something like that what does it do for you you got to remember to it was you're
a
walking contradiction I'm talking about myself because you said it best I'm
eating 2,000 milligrams of THC and scaring the fuck out of myself right you're
walking around fucking scaring then the Xanax I would take the Xanax to calm me
down off the anxiety come on man that's not gonna work those edible weed
sessions when
you do too many of them I do think they make people very anxious I think they
just I think
they did shift the pole of your brain you know I brought some water but now I
eat
them more to sleep I got him on a my big problem Joe is still to this day
asleep so
now two nights three nights a week I drink a bodybuilder sleeping thing what do
you
do you have a hard time sleeping because you're not tired do you have a hard
time
so because you're thinking I'm tired till 9:30 and I look at come on man the
comedy
timing I don't want to go to bed at 9:30 yeah you know I'm saying yeah I never
want to go to bed at 8 o'clock that's when you know you're almost done yeah I
don't want to bed at 8 fuck you man yeah I'm not looking to stay up till 4 but
I'm
not going to bed at 9:30 so I'm tired about 9 but I push the envelope a
little bit I like to read maybe listen to music 11 11:30 I'm like you I like to
read shit on the computer 11 11 I try to read it not I turn the TV off once I
go
up there bro I'm thinking about the guy who came to my house who asked me if he
could take an orange but he told me instead it's like 9 he took 9 instead yeah
and you're like that was 11 years ago Joey I think about the time I bombed in
the
original room following down my river like does it matter I think about the
time I ate a bucket of dicks in North Carolina Chapel Hill does it matter does
it really matter that you ate a bag of dicks you know I think of stupid shit
yeah
and I fall asleep eventually I'll tell you what helped whoop I got the whoop
watch to help me with recovery because I was lifting and going to jiu-jitsu and
my
back would hurt so I don't want to I want to figure out what kind of calories I
could do and I won't go over those if I could do those five days a week that's
fine but I can't go in there burn 800 fucking calories in jiu-jitsu and expect
the deadlift the next day I don't have that so I've got the whoop watch the
whoop watch put me on to sleep it's helped me sleep better because I finally
realized oh you slept four hours last night no wonder you feel like shit right
so
now I'm in contest with whoop so I got it up from four and a half hours of
sleep to
eight hours pretty much last night I only slept like five because of the flight
but
I'm sleeping eight hours now that's great yeah now I'm sleeping 11:30 to eight
don't get me wrong once every two weeks I have a little hiccup I go upstairs I
think of something I go back down I smoke some pot I read and I go back up and
I'm
alright but when I was doing comedy there was no sleep Joe yeah do you want me
to
tell you why why eight cups of espresso a day you know everybody thought I
would
leave the store because I was going to do something bad you know I was leaving
the
store before midnight think why because Starbucks is open till midnight in
studio city and God forbid I didn't catch my flat white before midnight God
forbid I didn't catch my grande flat white before midnight and then I'll call
you
tomorrow and tell you how I didn't sleep last night so you were drinking coffee
late into that we would always have espresso after dinner yeah no we now I have
an
espresso at five and I'm not sleeping that's so weird I could sleep right
after having one oh I loved it because in my world it takes you up yeah so you
catch it on the way down I eat a chocolate something I can't fucking sleep that
night now really I really focus on my sleep the last couple years you know
especially since I got this whoop about sixteen seventeen months ago that's
what's
really improved in my life is asleep and I've been taking naps too hmm if I go
to
jujitsu I do the blue belt class I need a nap check I need a little nap from
five to
six you know that's how I am hmm but when I started popping the Xanax the the
high
point was maybe May of during the pandemic like I couldn't leave the house
without popping the
Xanax and then when I get in the car I pop another one and it would stay in
your
system thank God I wasn't drinking and what was that doing for you though what's
the
feeling like calming me down I can't take sleeping pills and I can't take the
strong Xanax so I have to take the little footballs but I was taking eight
to ten of those motherfuckers a day Jesus and then when I landed in Jersey what
had happened was you know you and Tom had that conversation about my tolerance
yeah
okay that tolerance dog I think as you could tell I think a lot about this shit
yeah you had a conversation me a couple years ago about your Romero getting
punched in the face and his eye socket and when he got into the green room into
the when he wanted a doctor saw him after the fight his eye socket was healed
it
was healing healing okay I think about what you were talking about my tolerance
with the edibles and stuff now let's get back to early Joe Diaz when I was a
child the doctor would have to come to my house two days in a row for years
they'd
have to shoot me a penicillin on Monday and then come back on Tuesday and shoot
me
again because I would never take the penicillin you know I had a lot of
problems with my throat as a kid and whatever fucking tonsils and shit so I
was always in the hospital as a kid I was a sickly kid till I was about eight
all
those years Joe they would always have to shoot me two or three times with
penicillin the same penicillin they would give you one shot of they'd have to
shoot me
shoot me so I don't know you've always had a high tolerance always interesting
except for alcohol mmm and even alcohol because I could drink something with
Jamie
right now and I won't fall over I don't want to do it but that's what's always
pissed me off about alcohol that I could drink a few alcohol shots feel okay
but
if I push the envelope that's when I feel shitty but my tolerance with alcohol
and
with cocaine and alcohol shit I could drink a case of Budweiser you know cans
so my
friend Johnny you had a coke problem I always used to have to take him to the
corner store the liquor store to get 40 ounces yeah he'll calm himself down
with
like a big malt liquor that though I would drink it's always trying to like 20
something else 22 beers and it would calm you down so when the Xanax finally
what I
realized when I got the jersey that yeah I got the jersey August 9th or
something on
your birth August something two days after I got the jersey I have something
like a
weird mild heart attack my heart didn't stop pounding and that was because the
Xanax turned on me I didn't realize that till I went to the knee surgery
and one of the assistants caught it because I couldn't sleep and they tried
to give me something to sleep and the chick goes you you're withdrawing oh from
Benzo she goes you're withdrawing naturally that's why your heart beats
going up that's why you're fucked up it's very dangerous she told me you have
to
flip it so I had to read a journal about this about transitioning you just can't
quit you can't grab alcohol and you can't quit Benzo's yeah there's that you
know you
could die so what I had to do is take whatever I was eating which was eight of
those things a day and work myself backwards mmm how long did it take you six
months Wow work myself backwards fucking tough to write man I'm sure you know
how it
is with these fucking things you gotta dig deep and yeah look is a lot of a lot
of
soul-searching to it imagine yeah no while I was doing it I was fucked up as
hell
that's why I figured I'd do it then you did it while you were getting off the
Benzo's yeah well I was just I just moved I did the knee surgery mmm it was
like a
thousand things I didn't even know I was withdrawing like I said until I went
to I
did the knee surgery and something happened with my heart and one of the
doctors came in and we started talking and he kept looking at me weird he was a
Spanish dude and I fucking he gave me his card and I called him when I got out
and
he goes come see me something wasn't right that night hey did a physical and I
went back to see him blood that type of shit and he goes everything was right
you
know everything was okay I don't know what he put me on a heart monitor and he
goes your heart's fine I don't know what the fuck you're talking about hmm and
his
assistant said are you still taking the Xanax and I go yeah and she goes that's
what's going on with you look at the charts doc he's been on them since 2012
and I
go no I just been using them since the pandemic started and that's when she
goes
no you got to stop withdrawing I didn't even know I just had a horrible fucking
feeling how
long do you think it takes when you're on those things before you're addicted
two weeks
maybe really well I didn't see I would take them and then forget about them I
would put
them in my top pocket and then go to the store and not take them and then I
would just wash them
there was a lot of times I would take them I would bring it with me in case I
got like a
little fucking you know but Joe the funny thing about this if I tell you this
goes back to when I was a
kid in the simplest way you ready for this I was a little fucking fruitcake
when I came
from Cuba do you know I sucked the pacifier I thought I was six hmm so after
like I was
three they took them away from you but I'd hide them in strategic places and
whenever shit got
danger I go over suck it put it down and I fucking go back to what was going on
here so when I lived in
88th Street in New York City my mom had a jukebox at the bar so every week the
guy comes in and he
gives you the old 45s is that what they're called 45s so I don't know what they
were they were all
different types Spanish music you know black music rock music my mother had a
great taste in that in the
jukebox so I would have fucking boxes of singles I lived on the third floor and
if you go to 205 305
305 West there even today you pull up to it you'll see my where I live where I
grew up right down the
third floor but you'll see that there's a like a parking garage there they
never really it's like an old
building now it's redone again they did something when we were kids we played
back there so whenever I had
anxiety I would go upstairs to suck on the pacifier I didn't I didn't I wasn't
cool enough to put them on the street
yet I would later in time I would put them on the street and I would suck on
them when I was playing
basketball or something if things if they called a foul on me and I would panic
I would go upstairs and
I had a window that they couldn't see from below because it was the back of the
building so it was like
an indentation and all our windows you can't see that from there so I would
take those 45s and I would whip
them they're like boomerangs I would just sit there for 10 minutes and just
whip them whip them whip them
and I'd hear people downstairs what the fuck stop it you fucking scumbag what's
going on and then I run
downstairs and all these kids would be holding on to their heads and shit they're
like where'd you go
and I go I went upstairs to go to the bathroom you missed it the crazy guys
throwing records at us
do you know how long I did that for Doug I did that for about a year I threw
records at those
motherfuckers I caught them I did so many things to those kids they never knew
it was me but back to
it that's how I started going upstairs to suck on the pacifier so I always had
something you know
what I'm saying like I always had my little wanted something to like help you
out I always had something
to smoothen the humps and the bumps I didn't know that shit existed

Joey Diaz on Quitting Xanax

the Joe Rogan experience when I was on the Xanax it was basically during the
pandemic I had 10,000 of those things at the house 10,000 because he was
sending
me 90 a month from 2012 on automatic monthly how was it they were just going
in the closet they were just going in the fuck when did you take it 2012 was
when I got it prescribed when I had my little situation at the comedy store
that
we goofed about that was none of that's not that was not good there's no way I
should be on a standing walking 10 count that's what that was that night when I
had to follow Morgan Murphy a standing walking 10 count well I went up to I
asked
Paulie Shaw I told you this story and then we laughed about it but dog it now
thinking about it I should have done something I went to the comedy store I'm
in the back you weren't there I think you had you were coming in later yes you
were
coming in later cuz on Saturdays I used to do the close the original room uh-huh
talking bullshit with Paulie everybody's in the back no reefer maybe a joint
before I
got there you know Saturday night just look the girls I get there they take
Joey
you're up next I walk to the thing and as I'm walking I walk up the steps to
the
original room and Morgan's on stage and Paulie's standing there laughing at it
and I
walk up and I'm like damn I don't fucking feel good like this is not working I
was
starting to get anxiety I couldn't breathe I couldn't breathe but I went to
look at
that window for years whenever I had anxiety in the original room I had a
window when I'm on stage I got a window on the right remember yeah and we can
look
out the sunset yeah I was always good that day particular when I went in there
I
didn't see a fucking window so I was waiting for Morgan to get off and also I
got this anxiety joy couldn't breathe I couldn't fucking breathe so I walked
down
the stairs just to look at the door again and I got worse it got worse I
couldn't breathe I thought I was gonna fucking have a heart attack I go Paulie
I
can't get on stage I'm having a horrible anxiety attack he goes I just went up
dude and I walked up there and I told you but I didn't explain it to you
correctly because I was cracking a joke I woke up at the 12 minute mark hmm I
remember walking past Paulie and that's it Joe that's it and then I remember
waking up on stage and people laughing and I was probably on automatic pilot I
had a
bit that it was on automatic pilot that was when you got on Xanax no it was a
couple weeks I went to the doctor and he goes what was I kept having these
little
panic attacks kept having these little panic attacks little panic attacks I was
okay I wasn't gonna go to a psychiatrist we were working our asses off we didn't
know what the fuck was going on so I started taking the Xanax hmm and it would
help it a little bit I would take it on the road if I went on a plane or
something like that what does it do for you you got to remember to it was you're
a
walking contradiction I'm talking about myself because you said it best I'm
eating 2,000 milligrams of THC and scaring the fuck out of myself right you're
walking around fucking scaring then the Xanax I would take the Xanax to calm me
down off the anxiety come on man that's not gonna work those edible weed
sessions when
you do too many of them I do think they make people very anxious I think they
just I think
they did shift the pole of your brain you know I brought some water but now I
eat
them more to sleep I got him on a my big problem Joe is still to this day
asleep so
now two nights three nights a week I drink a bodybuilder sleeping thing what do
you
do you have a hard time sleeping because you're not tired do you have a hard
time
so because you're thinking I'm tired till 9:30 and I look at come on man the
comedy
timing I don't want to go to bed at 9:30 yeah you know I'm saying yeah I never
want to go to bed at 8 o'clock that's when you know you're almost done yeah I
don't want to bed at 8 fuck you man yeah I'm not looking to stay up till 4 but
I'm
not going to bed at 9:30 so I'm tired about 9 but I push the envelope a
little bit I like to read maybe listen to music 11 11:30 I'm like you I like to
read shit on the computer 11 11 I try to read it not I turn the TV off once I
go
up there bro I'm thinking about the guy who came to my house who asked me if he
could take an orange but he told me instead it's like 9 he took 9 instead yeah
and you're like that was 11 years ago Joey I think about the time I bombed in
the
original room following down my river like does it matter I think about the
time I ate a bucket of dicks in North Carolina Chapel Hill does it matter does
it really matter that you ate a bag of dicks you know I think of stupid shit
yeah
and I fall asleep eventually I'll tell you what helped whoop I got the whoop
watch to help me with recovery because I was lifting and going to jiu-jitsu and
my
back would hurt so I don't want to I want to figure out what kind of calories I
could do and I won't go over those if I could do those five days a week that's
fine but I can't go in there burn 800 fucking calories in jiu-jitsu and expect
the deadlift the next day I don't have that so I've got the whoop watch the
whoop watch put me on to sleep it's helped me sleep better because I finally
realized oh you slept four hours last night no wonder you feel like shit right
so
now I'm in contest with whoop so I got it up from four and a half hours of
sleep to
eight hours pretty much last night I only slept like five because of the flight
but
I'm sleeping eight hours now that's great yeah now I'm sleeping 11:30 to eight
don't get me wrong once every two weeks I have a little hiccup I go upstairs I
think of something I go back down I smoke some pot I read and I go back up and
I'm
alright but when I was doing comedy there was no sleep Joe yeah do you want me
to
tell you why why eight cups of espresso a day you know everybody thought I
would
leave the store because I was going to do something bad you know I was leaving
the
store before midnight think why because Starbucks is open till midnight in
studio city and God forbid I didn't catch my flat white before midnight God
forbid I didn't catch my grande flat white before midnight and then I'll call
you
tomorrow and tell you how I didn't sleep last night so you were drinking coffee
late into that we would always have espresso after dinner yeah no we now I have
an
espresso at five and I'm not sleeping that's so weird I could sleep right
after having one oh I loved it because in my world it takes you up yeah so you
catch it on the way down I eat a chocolate something I can't fucking sleep that
night now really I really focus on my sleep the last couple years you know
especially since I got this whoop about sixteen seventeen months ago that's
what's
really improved in my life is asleep and I've been taking naps too hmm if I go
to
jujitsu I do the blue belt class I need a nap check I need a little nap from
five to
six you know that's how I am hmm but when I started popping the Xanax the the
high
point was maybe May of during the pandemic like I couldn't leave the house
without popping the
Xanax and then when I get in the car I pop another one and it would stay in
your
system thank God I wasn't drinking and what was that doing for you though what's
the
feeling like calming me down I can't take sleeping pills and I can't take the
strong Xanax so I have to take the little footballs but I was taking eight
to ten of those motherfuckers a day Jesus and then when I landed in Jersey what
had happened was you know you and Tom had that conversation about my tolerance
yeah
okay that tolerance dog I think as you could tell I think a lot about this shit
yeah you had a conversation me a couple years ago about your Romero getting
punched in the face and his eye socket and when he got into the green room into
the when he wanted a doctor saw him after the fight his eye socket was healed
it
was healing healing okay I think about what you were talking about my tolerance
with the edibles and stuff now let's get back to early Joe Diaz when I was a
child the doctor would have to come to my house two days in a row for years
they'd
have to shoot me a penicillin on Monday and then come back on Tuesday and shoot
me
again because I would never take the penicillin you know I had a lot of
problems with my throat as a kid and whatever fucking tonsils and shit so I
was always in the hospital as a kid I was a sickly kid till I was about eight
all
those years Joe they would always have to shoot me two or three times with
penicillin the same penicillin they would give you one shot of they'd have to
shoot me
shoot me so I don't know you've always had a high tolerance always interesting
except for alcohol mmm and even alcohol because I could drink something with
Jamie
right now and I won't fall over I don't want to do it but that's what's always
pissed me off about alcohol that I could drink a few alcohol shots feel okay
but
if I push the envelope that's when I feel shitty but my tolerance with alcohol
and
with cocaine and alcohol shit I could drink a case of Budweiser you know cans
so my
friend Johnny you had a coke problem I always used to have to take him to the
corner store the liquor store to get 40 ounces yeah he'll calm himself down
with
like a big malt liquor that though I would drink it's always trying to like 20
something else 22 beers and it would calm you down so when the Xanax finally
what I
realized when I got the jersey that yeah I got the jersey August 9th or
something on
your birth August something two days after I got the jersey I have something
like a
weird mild heart attack my heart didn't stop pounding and that was because the
Xanax turned on me I didn't realize that till I went to the knee surgery
and one of the assistants caught it because I couldn't sleep and they tried
to give me something to sleep and the chick goes you you're withdrawing oh from
Benzo she goes you're withdrawing naturally that's why your heart beats
going up that's why you're fucked up it's very dangerous she told me you have
to
flip it so I had to read a journal about this about transitioning you just can't
quit you can't grab alcohol and you can't quit Benzo's yeah there's that you
know you
could die so what I had to do is take whatever I was eating which was eight of
those things a day and work myself backwards mmm how long did it take you six
months Wow work myself backwards fucking tough to write man I'm sure you know
how it
is with these fucking things you gotta dig deep and yeah look is a lot of a lot
of
soul-searching to it imagine yeah no while I was doing it I was fucked up as
hell
that's why I figured I'd do it then you did it while you were getting off the
Benzo's yeah well I was just I just moved I did the knee surgery mmm it was
like a
thousand things I didn't even know I was withdrawing like I said until I went
to I
did the knee surgery and something happened with my heart and one of the
doctors came in and we started talking and he kept looking at me weird he was a
Spanish dude and I fucking he gave me his card and I called him when I got out
and
he goes come see me something wasn't right that night hey did a physical and I
went back to see him blood that type of shit and he goes everything was right
you
know everything was okay I don't know what he put me on a heart monitor and he
goes your heart's fine I don't know what the fuck you're talking about hmm and
his
assistant said are you still taking the Xanax and I go yeah and she goes that's
what's going on with you look at the charts doc he's been on them since 2012
and I
go no I just been using them since the pandemic started and that's when she
goes
no you got to stop withdrawing I didn't even know I just had a horrible fucking
feeling how
long do you think it takes when you're on those things before you're addicted
two weeks
maybe really well I didn't see I would take them and then forget about them I
would put
