Name: Joe Rogan Experience #1991 - Protect Our Parks 8
Uploaded: 2023-05-26T00:00:00.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1991 - Protect Our Parks 8' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-05-26. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1991 - Protect Our Parks 8' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-05-26. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #1991 - Protect Our Parks 8

Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out.
The Joe Rogan Experience.
Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day.
The burp, the burp, the burp, the blanched in that, boys, boys.
Damn, that's thick.
That's a lizzo.
We just passed him.
You're not taking it?
That's Joey Diaz, Laughing Gas Week.
Oh my God, dude.
You both pussyed out.
You called him a pussy and then you pounced him.
Yeah, I was joking.
I was never going to smoke that.
Yeah, I'll be out of the table.
You smoke it, you coward.
I was already smoking it.
You can't bully me when I'm already doing it.
He's bullying and he's not doing it.
He bullied him and he didn't do it.
Shane is the king of that.
Here's my only impression of Shane.
You won't.
Yeah, you won't do that.
Whatever's brought up, you won't.
You have my favorite childish humor.
It's so fun.
And it works, too.
It's very fun to be childish.
Grab your friends, you go, you won't do that, dude.
It's very fun to be childish.
He's dumb.
He's like, give me that shit.
I'll do it right now.
I'll cut myself.
Well, he's jet lagged.
He came from another country.
I can't believe you're doing this.
He had a day to rest.
Yeah, I had a Athens.
Fucking five hours.
Did you go see the Acropolis?
I did.
Wow, shit, huh?
It's so cool.
What's Acropolis?
It's like a bunch of fucking rubble.
The Acropolis is the base.
The Parthenon is the building, correct?
Yes.
Dude, I tell you, I looked up that a bunch of times when I was there, and I
still don't know.
Nobody knows.
Yeah.
No idea.
Yeah, the Acropolis is the building.
The Parthenon is what it's built on.
Oh, interesting.
The Greeks were gay.
Greeks were gay.
Okay, the Acropolis of Athens is an ancient citadel located on a rocky outcrop.
Wait a minute.
Which one is the Acropolis, and which one is the Parthenon?
I think that...
Oh, yeah, I don't know.
I think the Acropolis is the building, and the Parthenon is what it's built on.
The most famous thing.
The Acropolis is, I think, the entire thing, and the Parthenon is one of the
buildings as a part of it.
But what's the structure that it sits on?
What's the Parthenon?
Yeah, Google that.
I'm pretty sure the Par...
One of them...
That's that one.
Okay.
That's under construction.
So the Parthenon is the building, the Acropolis...
They build it back up.
They realize it wasn't finished.
There's scaffolding everywhere.
Wow, the roof fell off.
How about that stamos?
The centerpiece.
The fixer-upper, for sure.
So, okay.
The Parthenon is a former temple of the Athenian Acropolis, Greece, that was
dedicated to the goddess
Athena during the 5th century BC.
Aha!
All those people were tripping balls, you know.
Goddess of beauty.
Yeah, there's a great book on it.
The Immortality Key by this guy, Brian Merorescu.
It actually opened up a field of study at Harvard.
This guy wrote a book about how they did...
They always suspected that their wine was laced with something.
Wow.
But then they got definitive proof because they found old vessels and they
tested these vessels
and they found ergot in them, which is a fungus that has LSD-like effects.
Wow.
Yeah.
So they were all tripping.
That they were gods?
Dude, that must have fucked them up.
That's where they came up with everything.
That's where they came up with democracy.
They came up with so much from tripping balls.
It makes sense.
Like, he hit this rock and it became a spring.
Tripping balls.
To fight him, he hit a rock and it became a tree.
All those old people were tripping balls.
And what they were doing was hiding it from the Romans.
And they had to move away.
Like, they started going into other countries when they got kicked out of
Greece.
They moved the Eleusinian mysteries all over the world.
The what mysteries?
Eleusis.
Eleusinian mysteries.
All the zoo stuff?
All the fucking...
All the trip ball stuff.
Well, people like scholars from all over the world would go there and
participate in these rituals.
And they would just trip their fucking brains out and figure things out.
How about those grape leaves?
I don't think that had anything to do with it.
That's Greek.
Those are just leaves.
Yeah.
They're not great.
They're not great.
Overrated.
Ray overrated.
Really?
They kind of dip them into aziki to make it even edible.
They're pretty bland.
Yeah, they got the same food as Middle Eastern.
A lot of pita, kebab, hummus.
Fucking delicious.
Or as David Tell calls it, terrorist peanut butter.
His joke.
Yeah.
So, did you have fun?
Oh, it was a blast.
Did you have a good time?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Athens is a cool city.
Did you get away from the tourist area?
I did get to walk and hike.
Yeah, it's a big national park in the middle.
It's like Central Park.
You walk through it at night.
Yeah, a park's a park, though.
Looking for rapists.
What?
You like to hike?
What?
Did you protect those parks in Athens?
People have asked me about the parks.
Yeah, everyone you try to protect goes away.
I saw one somewhere, like, have you protected any parks lately?
And I was like, no, I've only failed in protecting any parks.
We only tried one.
Yeah, utter failure.
But sometimes it's your first time trying to protect a park.
True.
Why do you like parks?
Your third joyous place?
Because he's a city dork.
It's the only nature he gets.
They stink.
It's the only nature he's allowed.
I took my nephew to a park.
I just looked like a fucking pedophile the whole time.
You were looking for the little tiny park.
Yeah.
With a swing set.
Yeah, I just said to go to a park.
I was just yelling at him.
You're not allowed to go without a kid.
Yeah, a lot of these places.
Right.
Yeah, that's weird.
Going to a park and just watching kids.
Boy, I love watching kids interact.
Yeah.
You can't.
You can't.
So innocent.
You have to go with your own kid.
Dog parks.
Otherwise you can't enjoy.
Dog parks, you can't go in without a dog.
Is that right?
You probably can.
No.
They won't stop you, but the rule is you can't go in without a dog.
Oh, really?
Is that the rule?
Yeah.
Is it written?
Yeah.
So it's written.
So it's told.
It is written.
That's the only way I know it.
It is written.
My niece's nephews are black and my dad took them to the park by himself.
My niece was on the swings and she was like, slap me, Pappy.
Slap it.
He was down there like pushing her ass.
Pretty funny, right?
People were looking at it like, what the fuck is going on here?
Slap me, Pappy.
Yeah, she was like, slap it, Pappy.
He was like, Jesus Christ.
I can see there's a playground outside my apartment.
And a mom was on her phone the whole time pushing this kid on a swing.
It killed me.
You could so easily steal a kid.
I know.
They're all so distracted.
Now's the time.
Yeah.
My friend almost got his kid stolen from a park.
What?
Yeah.
Yeah.
He noticed at the last minute that someone was calling his kid towards a truck.
Brian Laundrie.
And he stopped it.
He ran out and stopped it.
But I think he was just not paying attention for a brief period of time.
And somebody tried to steal his kid.
I got a hit on by a pedophile as a youth.
The thing is, it does happen.
I mean, it sounds so insane.
Yeah.
No, it actually does happen.
People steal children.
Because that kid will forget.
Just might be crazy enough to work.
Exactly.
That kid will forget.
Jesus Christ, what a horrible thought.
Remember milk carton kids?
Yeah.
That was a big thing.
Big thing.
I think a lot of them are stolen by the parent, right?
Like one parent.
That's almost all the stats of abducted kids are just the dad.
It's like, I want some vegetation roads.
Well, it's like people use their kids as leverage to get back at the spouse.
Yikes.
Like the husband and the wife get divorced and the wife won't let the husband
see the kid.
Yeah.
And he yells at her, I want my fucking kids.
You won't let that whore in the house with her.
Oh, boy.
That would be nice getting so hammered and just going to your fucking ex-wife's
house.
I don't want to see my fucking son, you bitch.
That's how people get shot.
Daddy, no.
There's a horrible video of a guy getting shot doing that.
Oh, really?
What?
He goes to the house where his kid lives and there's a guy there and the guy
and the wife
are there and he's yelling and the guy's getting, get off my fucking property.
And the guy's a big guy and he gets in his face and the guy goes and gets an AR
and
they struggle with the AR.
No.
Wait, they struggle?
Yeah, they struggle with the gun briefly and then the guy lights him up.
That's a good dad.
And he lights him up in front of the guy's mom.
Oh!
He's also there.
Wait, who shot who?
The biological father got shot by the stepdad?
Yes, the stepdad.
Ooh, that's it.
He got fucked.
Stepdad, who's a smaller guy.
The biological dad's a big guy.
Why would you get close enough with an AR for some other guy to grab it?
I think he was just trying to threaten him.
Like, if he pulled out a gun, the guy would be like, that's it.
Okay, you got a gun.
I'm going to leave now.
But this guy was an idiot.
I've seen quite a few of those people.
People get nutty and they don't understand risk and they don't understand
danger.
Even just with fights, when they get in people's face.
Yeah, man, fuck you.
Well, fuck you.
Yeah, do something, man.
You literally don't know how to fight and you're about to engage in one of the
most dangerous
things that people can do other than using weapons.
Yep.
It happens all the time.
But I saw a video the other day of this guy.
They're in front of like a truck and this guy's yelling at this guy, come on
pussy, fight
like a man.
I saw that one.
He takes his shirt off and the guy just shoots him.
What?
Oh, I didn't see that one.
I saw a punch.
Holy shit.
I didn't see that one at all.
The guy just shoots him.
The guy's got a gun out.
The guy's got a gun out and he's like, stop.
And the guy's like, come on pussy.
He takes his shirt off while the guy has a gun out.
He's the machine.
And he comes towards him and he just, boom.
Nope.
The guy goes down screaming.
The guy died.
That's right.
Yeah.
What happened?
Yeah.
Indiana Jones.
It was just like enough.
Oh, Indiana Jones.
Yeah.
What, did he have a whip or something?
No, he had like a sword.
Yeah, yeah.
He had a sword.
You know, that was like a supposedly like, no, it wasn't supposed to happen.
Adlib.
It was like an adlib.
Yeah.
Oh.
He was high all the time.
Harrison Ford.
He gets high all the time.
No.
He rips him.
I don't know about then, but now he's just high all day.
He's really depressed.
I think when you get older, that's the move.
Yeah.
Still nails it.
You can't control this world.
He knows what he does.
It's so out of control and it's so not what you grew up with.
You're like, what?
What's the kids these days?
What is happening?
You're changing genders.
Just get high.
Just get high and just go through life spaced out.
Indiana Stoned.
Oh, there we go.
His alternative pastime.
His wife is hideous.
Hey, how dare you?
Yikes.
That's not his wife.
That's Chewbacca, you son of a bitch.
Jesus Christ.
Got it.
He's got that gay earring, too, still.
So he's a lifelong stoner?
That's right.
Is that what it says?
You ever see Scrape take that kid, steal that kid?
Scrape?
This guy Scrape, they shot a video, they just distracted someone and grabbed
their kid.
And they go, no, no, I'm just kidding.
I'm just kidding.
They kicked the kid back.
It was great.
It was so funny.
Jesus Christ.
What was funny?
What?
What was funny?
That they stole the kid and the parents are freaking out and they're like, no,
I'm kidding.
Ari always wanted to be stolen when he was a child.
Yeah, I did.
Oh, definitely.
Went you in like a shitty cult.
Wanted to go to a Christian family.
It's called Jewish.
Oh.
You ever heard Metzger talk about his cult life?
A little bit.
Yeah, Jehovah.
Wild shit.
Yeah.
It explains a lot.
Wild shit.
It's so, well, it explains a lot how he won't tolerate any bullshit.
Right.
He hates religion.
He'll call me sometimes.
Like, what about Abel?
What about Abel?
I'm like, all right, let's go.
Well, as I know enough.
He will rant.
You send a text to 