Name: JRE MMA Show #140 with Gillian Robertson
Uploaded: 2023-05-31T00:00:00.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'JRE MMA Show #140 with Gillian Robertson' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-05-31. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'JRE MMA Show #140 with Gillian Robertson' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-05-31. Transcript available.

JRE MMA Show #140 with Gillian Robertson

How long do you have to stop smoking weed before you'll test positive?
Usually about five days.
Five days before a fight?
If you're smoking straight flour.
But if you're smoking like oil, dabs, anything like that,
then you need a little bit more time.
You got down to a science?
I figured it out when I tested positive one fight
because I was smoking oil and I stopped five days out.
Oh, smoking oil.
Those wacky kids and their dabs in oil.
You guys just go too far.
You guys go too far.
There's way too many ways now, I feel like.
You go to dark places.
You do dabs, you go to dark places.
Yeah, especially with dabs.
I'm like, that's the next level extreme.
Yeah, I'm not interested in that.
You just get too far gone.
Like, you don't even know how to move your hands right.
Just...
There's this stuff that...
I'm a medical patient in Florida.
And there's stuff you can get from the dispensary.
It's, like, little nose drops.
And that shit, like, makes you...
Like, literally I feel like I can't form sentences.
Is this a spray?
Yeah, it's just like a nasal spray.
There's so many wacky people in Austin spraying ketamine up their nose.
It is a real issue.
We had a girl go into a K-hole at our comedy club the other night.
Yeah.
And her boyfriend's like, "She just did a lot of ketamine."
And they're like, "Jesus fucking Christ.
Do that at home, you nuts."
They're doing ketamine and going to see comedy.
Uh, yeah.
From the moment I got here, it's been offered to me frequently.
And I'm like, "What are you doing?"
What is going on?
How's ketamine?
Ketamine's a fucking tranquilizer, right?
Yeah.
It's a powerful psychedelic, too, right?
It's also available in clinics for people to do, like, you know, PTSD work and
stuff.
I feel like there's a lot of people that are doing it, like, every day, though.
Have you done it?
No, no.
I've never messed with anything like that.
I took a little at Duncan's.
Duncan had one.
I think he made it in his bathtub.
What did it feel like?
Do you remember?
Weird.
But it was very little.
"Just take one pump."
So I took, like, one pump.
And I was like, "This is odd."
But I know the source, and I know where he's getting it.
And it's all medical-grade and legit, but it's like...
What is that?
Yeah, I don't know.
I like a lot of natural things better.
THC nasal mist.
Well, yeah, I guess marijuana's the ultimate natural thing.
I was just saying that I hurt my back a little bit.
I tweaked a muscle, and it was locked up, and I put on this CBD MD Recover
Cream.
I mean, that stuff is insanely good.
It's incredible how much better I felt.
No, that's crazy.
It's amazing that CBD has that kind of power.
Yeah, I've never used a topical cream like that.
But I've used, like, pills and things like that with CBD.
And I feel like it definitely does make a difference.
Like, there's...
I don't know.
There's a huge difference.
Huge difference.
My friend Dave Foley had real bad arthritis in his hands.
And he started taking CBD, and all of a sudden his hands started working fine.
Like, it just took a while.
It took...
It just...
Your body is filled with inflammation.
And CBD is just an awesome way to get rid of inflammation.
Yeah, especially as a fighter.
Oh, yeah.
It's like, everything's inflamed constantly.
Who needs CBD more than fighters, right?
And who needs marijuana more than fighters?
Just to fucking chill the fuck out.
Like, the stress that you go through on a regular basis is so bonkers.
If you really think about it, you're around, you know, all these other human
beings that are going about their day, driving their cars, going to work.
You're preparing to throw bones at girls.
You're preparing to strangle people.
You put people to sleep for a living.
You know, that is a wild thing to do, sister.
Oh, yeah.
It's like, pre-fight, when I'm sitting there and I'm feeling all my nerves, my
boyfriend, he's told me, he's like, you need to be thankful for this.
Because he's like, most people don't get to experience shit like this in their
life.
Most people don't get to, like, experience these kinds of feelings, like, these
extreme feelings because they just have their regular jobs.
Yeah.
It's like, what I'm doing is something crazy.
It's so crazy.
It's so crazy.
And when you do it in a place like when you, was it in London with Molly McCann?
Was that London?
It was actually Liverpool.
Liverpool.
Yeah.
That was crazy.
That was crazy.
When you got her back and put her to sleep, I was like, oh, shit.
Oh, yeah.
That was pretty much, it was my first fight out of the tough house, you know?
Mm-hmm.
So, my UFC debut was technically against Emily Wittmeyer, but it was still, we
were in the tough house.
Like, we didn't have our, like, our actual fight kits, things like that.
Right.
So, Molly McCann I feel like was really the first fight where I was like, this
is a real UFC fight for me.
And my flight was delayed, everything, she missed weight.
I feel like everything went wrong that week.
I got booed walking out.
So, it's like, I don't know, just to get that success after that I feel like
was such a great thing for me.
How did they treat you when you got out?
After I got out, honestly, everybody was great.
Like, even Molly invited me to her after party.
My brother flew out there, so I ended up going out with him.
Oh, that's cool.
And we were just walking around Liverpool and everybody coming up to me, trying
to get pictures.
Like, the Liverpool fans were 100% supportive.
It was great.
Well, that's cool.
Yeah.
Of course they're gonna boo you.
Yeah.
It's their girl.
Oh, yeah, 100%.
I expected every minute of it.
Plus, like, what a personality she has.
Like, she's awesome.
I absolutely love her.
Probably, out of all the girls I fought in the UFC, Molly's definitely probably
the top.
She's a character.
Her and Patty together are fucking amazing.
It's hilarious.
It should be a reality show.
She's absolutely, like, genuine sweetheart of a person.
And, like you said, an absolute character as well.
And she could fight.
Yeah, 100%.
She could fight her ass off.
Her stand-up is nasty.
It's really, she's so tough.
She's so tough.
All girls, I feel like, from that area, they got that extra little toughness to
them.
And she definitely is superior in that.
Yeah, for her, it just feels like grappling came, like, a little later for her.
And that can be a problem with someone of your caliber.
You know, the thing about, like, grappling is, God, it takes so long to catch
up.
And while you're catching up, that person's still getting better.
If they're training every day, and they're, it's like, when someone is at a
super high grappling level, and if you're just getting into grappling now, like,
you're just, you're just surviving.
And it's a long time until you're doing anything other than surviving.
Unless you're some athletic freak.
Unless you're some just unbelievable specimen of a human that just learns
quicker than everybody else.
Most of the time, it's, like, really hard to catch up when you're a pure striker.
Okay, there's just so much to learn in jujitsu.
Even, like, I got my black belt, I think, two or three years ago now.
And I feel like I still don't know anything.
Yeah.
I feel like it's just, like, there's so much to learn.
So many different styles, different things.
Like, even, like, leg locks.
I don't know a lot of, I don't know deep into that game.
I know good defensively, but offensively, I feel like that's a completely
different world.
Mm-hmm.
The leg lock game is crazy, because that just took over.
It was so amazing to watch something that you used to get booed for.
Like, if they went to tournaments, especially in Brazil, people would boo you.
They did not like when you were doing stuff like that.
I guess because it really messes people up in training.
Like, they had to know it was really effective.
But too many people had to ruin knees.
Mm-hmm.
And they just decided, like, hey, this is a bad idea.
And it might be a bad idea in the gi.
You know?
In the gi, it's like, whoa, man, you can't get out of that very well.
At least in no gi, there's, like, a little bit more maneuverability.
When someone's, like, grabbing your legs and they've got your pants and they're
holding on to the cuff in here,
it's like, ooh, that's tight for a leg lock.
Oh, yeah.
That's scary.
I'm almost more nervous competing no gi now than versus fighting MMA.
Really?
Just because no gi girls are so well-versed in leg locks and that shit's
dangerous.
Right.
It's like, that can put me out for six months, a year plus.
Yeah.
Where it's like, the worst thing I've ever had happen in a fight is I got 11
stitches in my nose.
It's like, besides that, well, and even that I grappled a month later.
Who was that woman, that heavily tattooed woman, you got her back to?
She had a crazy nickname, like the Demon Slayer?
Oh, Maria Agpova.
Yes.
Yes.
Yeah.
He has a wild nickname, right?
Isn't it something like that?
Yeah, it's something like that.
Yeah.
When you were fighting her, she hit you with a bunch of, like, really hard
elbows while you
were trying to take her down.
And that was just a maze that you just stuck with the path.
You just kept, you just, you're like, uh-uh, I got you.
I got you.
I got, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, you're not getting away with this.
I'm going to hang on to you and I'm going to drag you to the ground.
I'm going to get you.
And when you finally did it, I was like, damn, that was systematic.
But you endured, like, some hard shots.
Honestly, I don't think, like, I don't know.
I didn't really have much damage off of those shots.
Wow.
I didn't really feel a lot of those and they weren't really, like, the only
reason
that I even thought about them is because the ref was like, you need to do
something.
I'm going to stop this.
And I was like, oh, shit, I got to change something up.
But I was initially going for a knee bar when she was just hitting me with
elbows.
And then I gave up on that because of the ref.
Isn't it interesting how subjective refereeing can be?
And that there's some referees that are really good at letting people just
fight out of stuff.
And then there's some referees that, like, just getting hit even with a few
hammer fists that aren't going to stop you if you don't defend them.
Some refs will just stop it right there.
It's just completely subjective.
Like, for that ref to tell you that, like, you can't endure these shots, you
don't have the time.
Like, actually, they're not that hard.
It sounds bad, but it doesn't really hurt.
I'm okay.
Like, but you can't say that in the middle of a fight.
So there's this weird, like, communication issue.
Like, he sees you getting hit by, I saw you getting hit by those shots.
I was like, Jesus Christ.
Like, can you see if you can find that?
See if you can find that.
Because in that exchange, when you're trying to take her down, I'm like, Jesus.
Those are some hard elbows.
Travis Brown was the master of that.
Oh, yeah.
I feel like no one had more power than him when he was delivering those elbows.
Oh, my God.
And I think he kind of invented it.
Or at least he popularized it.
We call it the Travis Brown.
Because he would drive down those elbows when you were trying to take him down.
That was a horrible place to be.
I don't think I've seen people drop like I have with Travis Brown.
Well, he obviously drilled it.
You know, it wasn't an improvised thing.
At least I don't think it was.
It just seemed so well-timed.
And the force that he could generate because he's so big and long.
When you're a long person, like a John Jones type person, the amount of extra
force that you have and all that length and torque.
Yeah, so somewhere in the clinch, we're going to get a view of your whole fight
here.
What is it like watching yourself fight?
Is it weird?
I guess I don't know.
I do it a lot.
I use myself as motivation of how I should perform.
A lot of times I watch my past wins just to really, I guess, relive that kind
of feeling.
So then it gives you something to chase the next fight.
Oh, that s