Name: Joe & Duncan Have a Confession to Make on Episode #2000
Uploaded: 2023-06-20T17:00:53.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe & Duncan Have a Confession to Make on Episode #2000' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-06-20. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe & Duncan Have a Confession to Make on Episode #2000' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-06-20. Transcript available.

- The Joe Rogan Experience.
- Hi Meow Meow.
- Hi Ruff Ruff.
- Um, I'm so excited to be here with you today.
- Yeah.
- This is our first podcast coming out as our true selves.
- We're furries.
- Yeah, we've been holding it in forever.
- This is my true identity.
And you know what?
It just eats me alive to not tell how we met at a furry con.
- Well, we didn't know that we met there, remember?
- Well, yeah, I didn't know who you were for a long time.
- Yeah, we didn't know.
I'm like, oh my God, you're Meow Meow?
- Dude, it blew my mind.
I mean, to me, that is proof we're in a simulation.
- Mmm.
- 'Cause what are the odds?
- They're not good.
- What are the odds, man?
- The odds are also not good
that I'm gonna keep this fucking helmet on.
- No!
- Oh my God, I'm sweating.
- This is not good for me.
I'm not keeping this on, dude.
- I can barely breathe.
- How do they do it?
- I don't know.
They fuck with these things on.
- How do you fuck with this on?
- They're heroes.
Those people are heroes.
- Total respect for furries now.
- Respect for the furry community.
Look, I got the feet on and everything.
- It's like Bikram fucking.
- Yeah, it's very hot in here.
If you can fuck with this on, you're an American hero.
- Yeah.
- That's what I feel.
- David Coggins needs to put on one of these things
and fuck for an hour.
- He should.
Yeah, you think you're so cool running for a thousand miles?
How about fuck for four and a half minutes with this on?
- I can't fuck for four and a half minutes without it on.
- This is like sprinting uphill.
- This is really brutal.
And just thinking about patting around a Ramada
in one of these things.
- But I get it.
Orlando outside during the summer.
- I get it when I put it on.
I get it.
I know why they do it.
I mean, I don't know why all of them do it.
- Wait, why do you think they do it?
- I think they do it because it offers you an anonymity
that is impossible any other way.
- Right.
- And it turns you into your image.
The visual that people get of you
is this adorable, cute mascot.
- Right.
- Everybody loves a mascot.
The mascot is literally there to pump everybody up
and yay, and they don't talk, and everybody loves them.
- Yeah, right.
- And people at Disneyland, same thing.
- Wait, they don't talk?
- No.
They don't talk.
Like if you meet Goofy,
Goofy doesn't say jack shit to you.
We went to Goofy's kitchen.
Goofy doesn't talk.
- Yeah, it's like...
- I can't.
- I can't do it.
Oh my God.
- It's so hard to breathe.
- It's so hard to breathe in these things.
- Horrible.
- How about those fucking people that work at Disneyland,
that wear these things and they walk around in the heat in the summer?
- Jesus Christ.
- Respect to them.
- Dude, those Disneyland, like, the people who do this at Disneyland...
- Heroes.
- They party.
- I bet they do.
- I heard it's like insane when they get off work.
- I'm sure.
- Like they fucking party.
- First of all, it's not even their fault.
Their brains have been cooked all day.
- Do you know what kind of effect that must have on your cognitive function?
- Dude, like while we're bitching because they made us wear masks on planes,
they're going
around in a hot box.
- I bet they made them wear a mask under their stupid mask.
- Guarantee it.
- I bet they did.
- Guarantee it.
- I bet they did.
Those fucking dorks.
- You had to mask up in your goofy outfit.
- Oh, you got good outfits though.
These are dope.
- Dude, these are incredible and it's kind of sad that...
- We can't, we're pussies.
- Of all the costumes we've worn, I think this is the least time we've spent,
even the hoods.
- But I was like almost like hyperventilating in there.
- Dude, I was panicking.
- You can see this awful wall.
- Yeah.
- It's terrible.
- But don't you get it though?
If you were like a very tortured, socially awkward person, your life has just
been a mess,
but you are for whatever reason attracted sexually to the idea of it, or maybe
not even sexually,
maybe just attracted the idea of it, but then you do it and you just, you get
to be not just innocuous,
not just like someone that doesn't get like someone that gets picked on, not
just not that,
but instead attractive.
You're this adorable thing.
You're adorable.
Like, hey, and people want, they come up to you with a different energy.
- Dude, I've seen some really hot furry porn.
Like, I've seen some incredible furry porn.
- What's the worst furry porn?
Have you ever seen something like, God, you guys aren't even trying.
- I, those are still shots, usually.
Like weird Polaroids and stuff of like, like, and generally those are like solo
furries,
who are banging a stuffed animal.
- Oh, Jesus.
- That sucks.
That's not cool, that's not cool, but some...
- What do they do, like put a fleshlight in a stuffed animal?
- No, they're not that advanced.
They just rip a hole in the fucking thing's butt and just like, leave their crusted
jizz on it as some mark of achievement or something really bad.
- Oh, dude.
- Really bad.
- Human beings are so weird in so many ways.
- Yes.
- In so many ways, but it's like, it's so funny.
It's like media, like Norman Rockwell paintings.
There's just like image of us that we are when we're at our best.
The family dinner table in a 1980s movie.
- Yeah, yeah.
- You know, that's us when we're at our best.
Everyone's getting along.
How's school going?
Junior, Junior's doing great.
But the reality is like, there's no license to get a person.
You don't have a license to become pregnant.
You don't have to go through any qualification process.
It's literally the most important thing for the future of the human race.
- Yeah.
- That people who have children and raise those children are capable of doing
it.
You're capable of raising a well-adjusted person.
- Yeah.
- Like any person growing up as a human being today, baby to grown up.
Like you're born today and you got to become a grown up in this fucking wacky
world.
- Yeah.
- Good luck being normal.
- Oh my god.