Name: Looking at Bryan Johnson's Longevity Protocol
Uploaded: 2023-07-11T17:19:07.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Looking at Bryan Johnson's Longevity Protocol' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-07-11. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Looking at Bryan Johnson's Longevity Protocol' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-07-11. Transcript available.

- The Joe Rogan experience.
- He's doing all that anti-aging shit.
- Yeah, he's going ham.
- Who's that one billionaire that I was telling you about?
He like, he takes blood transfusions from his son.
- That guy's weird.
- Man, but he does look younger.
- He looks great.
But I mean, you probably could look that,
there's guys that look that good that are his age
that just work out all the time.
- Well, that's why I don't know,
'cause he's doing so many things
that I don't know what thing,
what is he going overboard with?
Like he takes like 40 vitamins in the morning
and 40 more in the afternoon.
He always sleeps at the same exact time, no matter what.
- That seems tedious.
- I know, it's like, I'd rather just die sooner.
- You know, like I was telling you,
I had a headache last night,
'cause you know, all the shit that's going on at the club.
Nonsense, there's nothing bad.
But, so then I had a hard time going to sleep,
and then I got up in the morning and I was foggy as shit,
got in the cold plunge.
Like I know I'm not at optimum today.
- Yeah.
- I know it, but you know, that's life.
That's life.
- That's life.
- That is life.
- Suck it up, bitch.
Like, is that him and his son?
So he looks to me like a normal fit 40 year old guy.
- Nah, but show a picture of him from like five years ago.
- What, did he look bad?
- He just did.
- He looks better?
- He looks worse, yeah.
He looks better now.
- Well, maybe back then he was working too.
- Oh, see that's him right there.
See what the...
- Is he working still?
- Where do you see?
- Yeah, go back.
- Is that not him?
- Oh, that's him?
- Right, that's him right there.
- Oh.
- He also looks like he lost weight.
He got fitter.
- Yeah, he went goth.
- Which makes you healthier.
He looks like, boy, like a superhero than goth.
Like, what is that strap on his shoulder?
What is he doing?
Is that a bulletproof vest?
Is that guy a superhero?
What is that outfit?
Imagine wearing that outfit.
If you showed up at the mothership with that outfit.
Brian Simpson, what the fuck are you smoking?
- Tony might rock that.
- Tony would rock that with a big belt buckle.
- No, but I bet you it's probably something
that lets a certain frequency of light to his nipples
that helps him retain vitamin D or some shit.
- Right, right.
What is that stupid shirt, man?
That shirt's ridiculous.
Yeah, he's got them zero shoes on.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Oh, he's doing all the face stuff, too.
See, that's another thing that they can do.
They do this face thing.
Oh, Jesus, what happened to his face?
- I think he's just got cold.
- Oh, that's a different guy.
- Oh.
- He said I tried.
- He tried, okay.
- Yeah, but what is he doing right there?
It says 45-year-old CEO to the right of that, yeah.
So, what is he doing?
Okay, so there's--
- The way Cummings does.
- Yeah, there's a thing that they do
where they put these micro-needles all over your face
and then they rub stem cells in your face.
I know a few people that have had that done.
- But now imagine the son doing this from 18, you know?
- Yeah.
- That might be a whole different thing.
- Yeah, so he eats 2,000 calories a day.
- But he's vegan.
- Yeah, that's not good.
- That's a lot of vegetables.
- But that's interesting that he would choose that route,
the vegan route for longevity,
'cause there's a lot of nutritional pitfalls in that.
- Can you not make up for those?
- You can.
- 'Cause like you said, he takes like 50, 60 vitamins.
- Yeah, it's possible, it's possible to do.
But the most nutrient-dense foods are red meat.
That's the most nutrient-dense foods.
There's just a lot of weird propaganda.
- He might switch it up.
- Well, who knows?
I mean, he doesn't look that good there, though.
Show that thing again.
But it's like, for a lot of people on vegan diets,
it's hard to put mass on, I mean, he looks okay.
But he looks like a normal 45-year-old guy that's fit.
- And I think that's his dad, too.
See that picture right there in the middle?
- Oh.
- Him, his son, and his dad all did the transfusions.
- I'm not sure I like that picture.
Him in the middle looking like,
why were you looking at me like that?
Imagine if you go over to someone's house,
and the son and the dad and the little kid,
they're all posed like this.
Like, come on.
What are you doing?
If I went over your house--
- It's like a carbon climate.
- I'd be there with two other dudes.
I'd be like, hey, man, I'm gonna leave.
- When we're embracing?
- Yeah, I mean, I want you guys to be happy.
- The one on the right's not as bad as the one on the right.
- No, the one on the right is normal.
- Like, Joe, this is how we stay younger, Joe.
It's cuddle puddles.
- It looks like his dad's not listening.
- Intergenerational cuddle puddles.
- That bell puckle is fucking straining.
- Yeah, well, he's definitely holding in his stomach.
- Yeah, on top of that, like, that guy's not listening.
Isn't it funny, like, the son is on this crazy health kick,
and the dad looks like he's eating meatball subs?
- Oh, yeah, well, I think he was estranged
from the dad and the son until, like, recently.
- Oh.
- And they got back together for the transfusion.