Name: Joe Rogan Experience #2014 - Jim Gaffigan
Uploaded: 2023-07-28T00:00:00.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #2014 - Jim Gaffigan' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-07-28. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #2014 - Jim Gaffigan' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-07-28. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #2014 - Jim Gaffigan

Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out.
The Joe Rogan Experience.
Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day.
No, no.
Yeah, I know.
No, I just saw that clip of Jordan.
I don't eat, I don't miss it either.
Yeah, he's got weird autoimmune issues.
So for him, there was like an elimination diet.
Then he found out there was just a bunch of things that his body was reacting
to in a
very negative way, and one of them apparently was vegetables.
A lot of it is like just complex carbohydrates.
You know, a lot of it is bread and pasta and stuff like that.
A lot of people get really inflamed eating that, and it causes a host of issues.
Isn't that great?
I mean, it's, well, eventually it isn't there, you know, like even the problem
with chemo,
you know, I'm a guy who tells diarrhea jokes, so I know a lot about this.
Isn't it, isn't the expectation that if they could kind of concierge your
cancer treatment
to your specific type of cancer for your type of body or your type of cells,
that that's
why people are going to be able to live to 100, rich people are going to be
able to live
to 100?
I think there's definitely a lot of research that's done in that way, but I
also think that
it depends, there's so many factors when it comes to cancer.
There's environmental factors, there's lifestyle factors, like what you're
eating, like how
much stress you're under.
There's a lot, there's genetic issues.
There's a lot going on when it comes to cancer.
Yeah, I mean, there is like, I mean, you just hear about, you know, people from
the Philippines,
like an entire family, everyone died of cancer at 40, and you're like, what's
going on there?
Yeah.
Unfortunately, some of it is genetic.
Some people just have a shit roll of the dice, genetically, you know, and then
there's...
Are you saying that because I have all recessive genes?
Do you?
I mean, I am literally, I'm like, everything's recessive.
I literally went into the dermatologist and he's like, you know what, we're
just going
to, like, you know, because I don't know if you ever get the cancer stuff, the
basal cells.
He's like, we should probably just chop off your arms, because they're just all
basal cells.
So it's like, I am, you know, I'm all recessive genes, blonde hair, blue eyes,
pale skin.
How many people, really white people, deal with the sun back in the day before
sunscreen?
Well, I think some of it is, you know, if they're in Northern Ireland or
Scotland, I think it's
all right.
Yeah.
And they're also not living past 40, right?
I mean, they're kind of, they're like, look at this thing called alcohol.
And then they're like, let's do this for the rest of our time we're on earth.
Well, back then, like in the early, early days, they drank it because a lot of
water was tainted.
Right.
Oh yeah.
During Jesus's time.
Everyone drank wine and beer.
Yeah, that's why the apostles fell asleep, is because they weren't drinking
water.
It was cheaper to drink wine.
Yeah.
And it was more of a party atmosphere.
And probably better for you than getting horrible toxins in your water, you
know, viruses and
bacteria and whatever the fuck is in still water that's sitting around for a
while.
Yeah, it is.
Like, are, is there any difference between any of these waters?
Because, you know, like there's, oh, this water.
I mean, I like Fiji water.
Hopefully they'll send me a case now.
It's supposed to be pretty good.
But is there, and that's got to be very good for the environment to have water
shipped from
an island in the North Atlantic.
Sure, as long as they're using fossil fuels to get it here.
I mean, there's water 10 feet from me, but I'd like to get mine from, like,
this Nordic
country that's, like, really far away.
No, but is there any difference between these waters?
Yeah.
Except for the Poland Springs.
There's a guy that Tom Segura and Christina Pazitsky have had on their show.
What's his name?
Martin Rintz?
I forget his name.
He's an actual water connoisseur, like a water expert.
Oh, wow.
And he rates the different mineral content in waters.
So he's like a sommelier for water.
Yeah, a sommelier of water.
Yeah, he is.
Oh, that's so interesting.
What is his name?
Martin Ries.
Martin Ries, yeah.
Interesting guy.
And he talks to them about water.
It's all, he brought a bunch of different kinds of water and tells them what's
good and
what's bad.
You really ideally want water in a glass bottle.
You don't really want it in plastic.
There's a lot of issues with plastic, with leaching, if the water gets, you
know, you
don't know what's happening between the time it gets bottled and how it gets
shipped to
you.
It could be sitting in the sun.
It could be sitting in a hot warehouse and plastic bottles leach these
chemicals into
the water, which are endocrine disruptors.
Oh, yeah.
Not good.
Yeah.
No, that's scary.
Even water.
Even water.
Well, I remember I watched this thing about, I don't know, all the plastic that's
in the
ocean and then the fish eat the plastic.
And then, and I just was like, I'm so relieved I don't like fish.
Because you're always like, oh, fish is so good for you.
And I'm like, yeah, well, now I'm going to stick to burgers.
There's mercury too.
Mercury is a big one.
Yeah, but there's a lot of plastics in there that, that some of these, these
fish, they
can't even like, they, they can't mate or whatever.
I don't know.
I know I sound scientific.
You're so specific.
Did you do a lot of research?
He can't, they can't do things.
They can't mate or something.
They can't mate.
They're not interested.
They're not interested.
Yeah.
Not good.
Yeah.
And it's a lot of people think that when you recycle plastic bottles,
that they get recycled, but they don't.
Most, I think it's something around the neighborhood of 90% of all plastic
single-use bottles get
put into landfills.
Or they get shipped to other countries and other countries wind up polluting
with them.
Yeah.
So what's the solution?
Well, really, there, there are biodegradable plastics and biodegradable
plastics that are
made out of hemp fiber.
It's a, that's a real thing.
Like they can make plastic made out of things other than petrochemical products.
Yeah.
But isn't it a little bit like the fake sugar?
Like there's always, I had a joke about it.
Like there's a, oh, every, you know, when we were growing up, there was saccharin
and then
they're like, oh no, it causes cancer.
And they're like, oh, here's a new fake sugar.
And then two years later, that one causes cancer.
It's like everything causes cancer.
They're just coming out now about aspartame.
They're talking about aspartame, which everyone's been saying, that's the one
that's okay.
Yeah.
I'm like, no, that's not good for you either.
It's just sugar is the great Satan, right?
Yeah.
It's, it's just, it's just not good in the form that we have it mostly, you
know, mostly
it's added sugar to things and sugar from fruit is fine because it comes in a,
in a digestible
way.
It's connected to fiber.
It's connected to the material of the fruit.
It's good for you.
It's actually, it's okay.
I mean, it has sugar, but the way your body digests it, it processes the fiber.
It's a slower release.
What's really bad is drinking sugar.
Like when you're drinking like Coca-Cola, like that is alien to your body.
Your body's like, how is this here?
Like this is, you never, there's nothing in nature that gives you sugar in that
form.
Did you ever see that video of the evolution of the, cause Coca-Cola, like in
the,
twenties or thirties used to be something that you would go down to the soda
shop and you
would get a tiny bottle of Coke and you'd kind of have a tiny, and then just
the size is growing
over decades.
It's just your thing.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You know, and then the seven 11 slushy is just bananas.
It's the, the, you're mainlining sugar, just right into your blood.
But, all right.
So, so I think that everyone understands that like sodas, uh, cause I want you
to get sued
by a, sued by the Coca-Cola company and the Pepsi company.
Uh, but that is something that is obviously some, I, but I think most, even,
even people that
do drink diet Cokes are like, I know this is bad.
Yeah.
I mean, but I do think the, the, you know, I don't think that we, uh, as a
society have
embraced the fact that social media is one of the worst things that has
happened to human
beings ever.
For sure.
For health, for like mental health, mental health.
Yeah, for sure.
It's terrible.
There, there's documentation.
There's, there's a great book called the, um, what is it?
The American mind, uh, the Jonathan hate book.
What is it called?
Coddling of the American mind.
And, uh, it's, it's, it, it documents the self-harm and suicide rates of young
kids,
particularly girls.
Yeah.
It's real bad.
It's a lot of online bullying between each other, like hate and vitriol and
just the,
the comparing themselves to other people unfavorably.
And now with filters and like, you're, you're essentially comparing yourself to
fiction.
It, you know, it's interesting when you consider for generation upon generation,
uh, people would
look at their parents and their parents would say, you know, I had to walk five
miles to school.
I had to walk uphill both ways.
Yeah.
And all that.
And I look at my teenagers and I'm like, oh, they have it harder.
They, they definitely have it harder.
Like, you know, like in high school dealing with, you know, you were compared
to people
in your high school.
Now these kids are compared to everyone on the internet.
Mm-hmm.
It's like the, just the, you know, the, the, uh, the acts, you know, like the,
you know,
like we used to, when we were kids, you're like, hey, Tommy's dad who's
divorced has a playboy.
We're going to go over there and we're going to look at it in a field.
Like we did that when we were like 13.
And now it's like the porn is thrown at you.
Mm-hmm.
And so like, I look at, you know, I think kids got a much harder.
They definitely have it much harder psychologically.
Yeah, no doubt.
And just, just the online bullying and the, the way they, they tweet to each
other and,
you know, and leave Instagram messages and Snapchats.
It's just, it's evil.
Yeah.
And they, they do it to each other on a daily basis.
And it's a normal thing for kids to just be real shitty to each other online.
And, and they don't have to see the, the reaction.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And it is strange because among, you know, it's, there is this kind of the banter
of the,
you know, the greatest form of affection you can give another comedian is to
give them shit.
Yeah.
Right.
But that's also, you, you also can get a temperature of how they're truly
responding to it.
You know what I mean?
Like you, you know, you guys pick on Bert and everything, but like if you got a
sense that
it was truly hurting his feelings, you would be more constructive about it.
Yes, for sure.
You know what I mean?
For a little bit and then go right back to it.
Then you go back to it.
And then he would be like, excuse me.
I have to go sit on my pile of, uh, Jimmy Buffett like money.
Margaritaville.
He's going to have the machine restaurants.
It's just inevitable.
Yeah.
He has to have them.
They'll be in Florida.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But they will be, and there will be, it is, it's just inevitable.
There's no stop.
There's worse food for you.
Yeah.
For sure.
Yeah.
It'll be great.
And by the way, he's going to outlive everyone.
That's the great irony.
Well, there's a balance, right?
He's going to be crying at your funeral.
He's having so much fun and yet he's so unhealthy, but yet he's always laughing
and having fun.
There's got to be a balance in there that's being achieved.
He's so unhealthy, but it's, but there is like, you see him like, uh, snowboarding.
Yeah.
He's not like somebody, like there is.
He's not ambulatory.
Yeah.
And you know, like, like when I think of how my dad used to drink, like my dad
would come
home, he would have a vodka.
And then at one point he would switch to scotch.
I thought that was normal.
I'm like, you know, when your dad has two 