Name: Joe Rogan Experience #2017 - Bryan Callen
Uploaded: 2023-08-04T00:00:00.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #2017 - Bryan Callen' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-08-04. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #2017 - Bryan Callen' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-08-04. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #2017 - Bryan Callen

Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out.
The Joe Rogan Experience.
Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day.
Oh, hi, it's been a while.
Yeah, we're talking about stem cells.
Yeah, huge believer.
Waste a well, I go to them in town.
They fixed everything.
Every time I have like an injury, I get stem cells on it.
How many times have you gotten stem cells?
A gang of times.
Really?
Yeah, dozens.
And you swear by it?
Oh, yeah, 100%.
Huh.
Yeah, everybody does.
All the elite athletes I know, all the jiu-jitsu guys, Gordon Ryan.
Gordon Ryan had something wrong with his shoulder.
He got shot it into his shoulder and it fixed his neck.
Really?
Yeah, he had a problem with his neck for over a year.
And it went away after putting stem cells in his shoulder.
They literally find where the injuries are.
Yeah.
And it gravitates towards them and it helps you heal.
That's wild.
Yeah, between that and BPC-157, which is a body-protecting compound 157, I
think it's called.
It's a peptide.
Body-protecting compound sounds like a complete marketing thing.
It does.
This is a body-protecting compound.
It's like humor.
Inner armor.
Yeah.
It's an exoskeleton.
Just take it.
Don't ask questions.
It's made out of spider skin.
Yeah.
The problem is, I don't know, like, I told you, I called you up and I'm like,
dude, supplements work.
Duh.
You're like, hey, fucko.
I've been saying that since I was 35.
Yeah, you fell into this.
All you need is a good diet thing.
Because they'll teach you that.
Well, I talked to doctors.
When I did my podcast, I had guys who were like, no, I don't do it.
People who worked at Harvard, I was like, do you take supplements?
I don't.
But then you look at them and you're like, well, but you don't do any sports.
You got to talk to a doctor that's jacked, like Huberman.
Yeah.
Jack Scientist.
Talk to that guy.
Jack Scientist.
Lane Norton.
Yeah.
Lane Norton.
Andy Galpin.
Andy Galpin.
Yep.
Dan Garner, all those guys.
Yeah.
Scientists that are fit.
Yeah.
Talk to those guys.
They'll all tell you supplements are valuable.
Yes.
Well, I had them look under my hood, that rapid health at Dan Garner, Andy Galpin.
And then they just prescribed me just some stuff.
Not a lot of stuff.
Like, you know, just like a multivitamin.
CQ10.
Tonkat Ali brings your testosterone.
Turn a little up a little bit.
I got a story about this.
You don't need that.
I got a story about this.
No, I don't need that, by the way.
My testosterone was 700.
That's good.
But my estrogen levels were at like 37.
You're a bitch.
I'm a bitch.
No, this is good.
So I have to make a speech at my friend's wedding.
I don't know what's going on with me, but I'm getting a little, I'm looking in
the mirror
and I'm getting, for the first time in my life, a little soft around the old
hips
in the back.
And I'm like, all right, I'm getting older, but this can't be.
That's just dying.
No, no, no.
No, it's not?
Oh, there's a twist.
Okay.
Then I'm with my wife and I'm crying over shit I see in a, I don't know, a
scene in a rom-com
or a fucking commercial.
And I'm getting, I'm not kidding.
I'm, you know, I'm dead behind the eyes.
You've known me a long time.
I'm not a very emotional, I'm certainly not going to share my emotions with you,
but I'm
bursting into tears.
At a commercial?
Now hold, please.
Now-
An antidepressant commercial.
I got to make a speech at my boy Tarek's wedding.
Oh no, you're all emotional.
Well, that's probably part of why you were emotional.
Your friend was getting married.
I get emotional at weddings.
I'll admit that.
Okay?
I love it.
And my friend's getting married.
His mother's an Afghan refugee.
I know she went through a lot of stuff.
So it's an emotional time.
But I'm there to be funny and make a speech.
That's what I'm there for.
It's a festive moment.
I couldn't get through the speech, sir.
You were crying?
In the middle of it, I started crying so hard.
I started crying that I couldn't finish the speech.
And I couldn't get it together.
Oh my God.
Something's wrong.
Well-
Why is it that men have to think that?
Oh, you're taking Propecia.
I was taking Propecia.
Yeah.
And I was taking Propecia and it was raising my estrogen levels.
And it was binding my testosterone up.
There's topical stuff that you can use to keep whatever fucking chemotherapy
hair you have left on the top of your head.
Bro, I'm going bald.
I don't give a fuck.
I'm not going to be bursting into tears.
Good for you.
Listen, man.
I love being bald.
I really do.
If I could grow a full head of hair, I would 100% shave my head.
You would?
I just, yeah, let it grow stubbly.
Yeah.
But then I'd shave it again.
It stops you from having to have any uncomfortable conversations with barbers.
Oh my God.
Just take a little off here.
Well, sometimes they'll tell you a story and then they're holding the scissors.
And I told that motherfucker and you're like, oh my God.
Yeah.
Please cut my hair.
Yeah.
Don't just fucking kidnap me.
And gossip with me.
And force me to listen to this story that has no ending.
About someone who disrespected you at work.
Like, oh no.
Do you know what I have?
I have a weird thing where if you clip scissors near my ear, I start getting a
tickly sensation
in my back and I start to twitch.
Oh, wow.
Yeah.
From when you were a kid maybe or something?
I don't know.
It's just a, it's a nerve thing.
I start to feel like, it's like when somebody blows in your ears and you're
like, like that.
I haven't had a haircut in like 12 years.
Yeah.
I just go.
Yeah.
I keep one here too.
Like if I need a little touch up, I just fucking.
Yeah.
I cut my own hair.
Yeah.
It looks like it.
I know.
Do you have a flow bee?
Somebody took a picture of me.
Somebody took a picture of me.
I was with my kid and they took a picture of my profile.
Literally on the plane on the way here and I looked at my profile and I, and I
just, I, I texted my wife.
I go, listen, I know I'm very ugly.
Just so you know, I don't know how you went from, she dated like a black
professional athlete.
I was like, you went from chocolate and jacked to medium, narrow, gray and wrinkled.
And I don't get it.
It was just.
Stop thinking about yourself.
I know.
That's the problem.
Think about life.
No, you got to be nice to yourself.
Sure.
And I'm not good at that.
Oh, okay.
But you got to learn how to talk.
You got to learn how to, um, tell it, be truthful all the way across the board,
but with yourself
and then be nice to yourself, man.
It's one of the reasons why I work out so hard.
Because when I work out really hard, I have respect for myself.
Yes.
You know?
Yeah.
Um, if you force yourself to do something for that day, I know I'm not a lazy
piece of shit.
For that day, I know I'm focused for that day.
When I'm done, I'm like, I know who I am.
I get shit done.
That's exactly.
Yeah.
My philosophy on all that sort of self-restraint and discipline is that every
time you do something
like that, it's a victory.
Every time you don't do it, it's a defeat.
And in my opinion, you get weaker.
It's not about getting your body stronger and, you know, we're all flesh and
blood.
You can take me out with fucking, you know, it's more about the fact that no
matter what's
going on in my life, um, I show up.
I think mental resilience is like cardiovascular fitness.
I think you have to work on it all the time.
A one hunt.
It never, it never ends.
And I think that's the same with comedy.
I know that's the same with archery.
I know that's the same with playing pool.
I know that's the same with jujitsu.
It's one of those things where these are all perishable skills.
And I think mental resilience is a perishable skill.
It is.
And it's a perishable minute by minute.
Yes.
And you can never let off.
It's like, you know, you get to a point in your life where maybe you have a
bunch of goals
and you scratch them off.
In some ways, the most lost I was at 50, I think, I'd kind of like, I drew a
line through
a lot of the things I wanted, I came to LA to do.
And what I realized was that I'm not made to just, you need a challenge.
But more importantly, I think there's something that you gain from the idea
that anything that
happens to you, I don't care, especially bad things, especially discomfort,
especially something
new, especially something that's painful or creates anxiety or just the unknown.
I think that that is all of those things can truly be looked at as good.
And the reason they should be looked at as good is more, in fact, better for
you than
the good things that happen a lot of times is a very simple reason.
It's if you take the perspective that it is, you can call it God, the universe,
I don't
care what you call it.
It is the order of things.
Instead of looking at what you can get from the universe, try to look at it as
what the
universe is trying to get from you.
So anything you go through that's difficult, that's very uncomfortable, is
there to make
you grow.
There are hidden gifts in that great unknown, in that chaos.
And if you embrace it properly, you will come out the other side, proud of
yourself, much
stronger and with deeper understanding, maybe more empathy at the end of the
day for everything.
Yeah.
It's that old expression.
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
For real.
For real.
It really does work that way.
It's just, it's just like lifting weights.
Like why, why do you get stronger?
You get stronger because you're forcing your body to go through something very
difficult.
But do you ever have this, like with standup, I went to, I'm over it now.
And I'm, I'm really happy with it.
You went to a writer's block.
Bro, I was there for six months.
You don't smoke enough weed.
I started taking mushrooms.
Yeah, you don't smoke enough weed.
I think mushrooms, well.
It's steroids for comedy.
Mushrooms are weed.
100%, both of them.
Oh, dude.
Mushrooms make me so much nicer and so much more connected to my material.
Like when I, when I do standup on mushrooms, I am just like so locked into what
I'm saying.
I'm never like press and play.
I'm like really into what I'm saying.
I'm really thinking about what I'm saying.
I did acid for the first time.
Oh, yeah.
And that was, that was very interesting.
And then I had a set, a 45 minute set.
I was closing out the show in Venice and I was still very much.
in the mix of what, what, what was going on with me.
And I, I remember saying to my buddy Kaj, I go, dude, I don't know how I'm
going to do this.
I actually don't know how I'm going to do it.
And then I saw, they had a picture of me from like 10 years ago.
And I don't know how I did it, but I was, I started having, uh, I started
giving my younger
self advice on stage and it worked.
I was just improvising and it worked.
It, it was, it was one of the best sets I've ever had in my life.
And I'm not kidding.
Isn't that weird?
Because you don't want to try to repeat that.
No, no.
You don't want to get, you want to do acid every time we do stand up.
I wouldn't mind trying though.
You will go so far gone.
You'll be gone.
Yeah.
You can't, you can't.
But you can, I was coming, I was on the tail end of it.
That might be the best time.
That's the perfect time for weed too.
Like when you have an edible, like right when you're not scared of everything
anymore,
when it wears off, you're like, Oh my God, I can't wait to get on stage.
Yeah.
And just be free.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That stand up keeps you honest.
And I never want to be like, cause what I, what I was trying to avoid was I
said, I don't
want to repeat myself.
I don't want to be obsessed with the same questions that I'm always obsessed
with, which is really
my questions are always, what is masculinity?
What's the difference between a coward and a hero?
I've always, that's all your questions.
Those are my questions.
I've always been something in that area because I internalized, I think a warped
sense of what
masculinity is.
Interesting.
And so it's an interesting, it's an interesting battle for me, but, but now, uh,
I can, you know,
you have kids and like you said, you can't think 