Name: Joe Rogan Experience #2018 - Post Malone
Uploaded: 2023-08-08T00:00:00.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #2018 - Post Malone' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-08-08. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #2018 - Post Malone' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-08-08. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #2018 - Post Malone

the joe rogan experience train by day joe rogan podcast by night all day
i'm hanging out dude you look fucking great i told you that when i saw you but
i want to tell
you on air you look fucking great man you said you lost 60 like 60 i was like
240 now i'm like
185 that's amazing yes sir and you did just by cutting out soda yeah i don't a
lot of shows
yeah like shows soda soda so bad it's so bad it's so bad but it's so good i'll
have a soda i'm a bad
boy and i have a monster energy but celsius is so good too have you had one of
those yeah i have
they're good it's so yeah the the key to those things is just every now and
then that's the thing
you know every now and then you reward yourself with a coca-cola you're like ah
this is nice
um and these hot texas days i've been here we did dallas two days yesterday
back to back
yesterday and the night before i'm coming to see you tomorrow night let's go i'm
coming to houston
let's go let's go did we did you buy tickets yeah oh joe you didn't have to do
that because if he
said if you said we hooked you up i said like what the hell i didn't but since
you said you buy it thank
you so much for coming my pleasure my pleasure i'm excited me too i'm excited
man but yeah especially
especially out in this heat dude just like you know what i had a great show you
know what i'm feeling
a little bit naughty i'm gonna have myself coke on ice yeah so good reward
yourself the problem is when
people do it all day every day yeah that's when it's just your body doesn't
know what to do with
that kind of sugar because it's so unnatural your body never gets sugar like
that in the wild you get
sugar and fruit you know when you have like a glass of sugar water it's just
pouring right into your
bloodstream your body's like what the is this i like i like guarana oh that's
good stuff that is
crazy stuff yeah i don't it's naturally caffeinated or something yeah the
berries crazy yeah that's acai
that's the same thing as when you get an acai bowl that's guarana that's the
berries man i remember
going to brazil the first time and i was like oh this soda's so good yeah and i'm
also i was like
bouncing off the wall like i'm like oh my god dude i feel crazy right now it's
delicious it's so good
what is that called guarana is that what is the name of that soda this is like
and they have a
sugar-free one by antarctica is that what it is i think it's an antarctica
brand not from an art super
legit i love they know how to eat over there in antarctica no in brazil yeah guana
antarctica yeah there it is
that stuff's the dude and they give you a beer they you go down to the like the
beach and they
give you a beer in like this rock that's like ice cold well i don't know if it's
a rock but whatever
it is ceramic i don't know but it's really cold and the beer is like the coldest
beer i've ever had
and it was so good on the beach it was so good they know another party down
there on the beach in brazil
it's so fun yeah it's great great country we're going down there for tour nice
so we got a lot of
tours so we're doing this u.s tour then we're doing seven days off then we go
to south america i think
so i'm excited wow have you performed in south america before yes sir yeah yeah
rocking rio and stuff
and it's so much fun man yeah they love music it's like so much fun it's just
like there's not like a
piece like an ounce of hate in the whole crowd everybody's just having such a
great time and that
makes me more excited you know because like do you know sometimes i'll go do
these shows like a lot of
like more corporate shows where i'm just like hey do you guys even really like
me and know who i am
but it's like everybody there is just having so much fun right the corporate
ones are weird right
it's so it's i have fun but a lot of the time it's like you can't read the
crowd because everybody's
you know i feel like more like a like a jazz band or like a lounge band at a
restaurant or something you
know right which is weird it's weird it's weird they want to pay that much
money to have someone come
and then it's just that you're a big name and it's like look we got post malone
but you know i'm over
here talking to somebody not paying attention and yeah i don't know you know
people who pay
to come to the show i'm like okay you guys paid you guys definitely right you
guys at least know who
i am for sure um but yeah i'm not sure i can't read the crowd but i went uh to
my friend dana white
and he had a birthday party when he was 40 and they hired stone temple pilots
sick it was sick they were
first of all those motherfuckers performed like there was 80 000 people there
and it was one of
those things where we had to get people to stop and pay attention guys fucking
stone temple pilots is here
yeah i don't know they went hard i mean they did a like full energy show it was
very impressive it was like
very inspirational it's like wow these guys are at a birthday party yeah and
they're giving them
fucking stone temple pilots that's badass it was badass it was amazing it was
amazing i don't know if
i could like you just hear an interstate with an interstate love song yeah and
you're like how do you
talk how do you how do you not just like right how are you like what the wait
yeah i don't know well
just you know hobnobbing that's the thing and you go to those things like and
everybody's already
hobnobbing so people are like social networking and there's people with motives
and they're trying to
be more friendly with the guy at the top and this kind of and then all of a
sudden
but they went hard they went hard like they had the best fans in the world and
there was like 80 000
of them it was a amazing show it was so impressive man it was so impressive
another band with stone oh uh
queens of the stone age oh those guys are great i want to see them so i have
not seen them live
but i had josh on the show how was he very cool guy very well we had a good
friend in bourdain
yeah he was good friends with uh poor dain too he's uh interesting dude though
very interesting
dude and their music is it's so smart so interesting yeah it's so smart yeah it's
it's
it's so distinctive like their music is so distinctive like you hear a song it
sounds like
them right you know what i mean he's got a voice man and he can write a hell of
a song hell of a song
yeah it's just i don't know like some of the stuff they do i'm like how do you
even think of that
right there's so many artists like that but i'm like in that setting and then
that first record
with with dave like just yeah banging on dude oh my god it's so it's so good
yeah it's so good
well we're at an amazing time for art for both music and a lot of other things
too there's just so
much good out there now that's true but i figured you know that the way things
are moving i got like
four or five months before people like the robot songs more than than my songs
i don't think that's
ever i hear some of them and i'm like oh man that's so good dude who wrote that
gpt wrote that man
that's a great song but it is a great song but people will know people will
know sure like there's
women that do not want diamonds that were made in a lab sure which is crazy
because it's just a diamond
like they have an ability now to man make diamonds they have some crazy machine
and they compress carbon
and they can make diamonds but women only like them if they're coming out of
the ground well i know how
to make gold um really yeah i can turn anything into gold i watched a video on
it you watch youtube
yeah it's yeah alchemy yeah i was watching a little alchemy video and uh so all
you need to do
is ferment your piss for like like a year or so and then you're good and then
eat it oh then eat it by
the way you gotta eat your piss yeah yeah yeah that's how you make gold yeah i
think so i think that's what they were saying
people used to try to make gold they used to try to figure out a way to make
gold isaac newton but
did he really yeah he was super into alchemy like one of the like smartest
dudes ever if you could
figure out i mean i guess back then they probably thought i wonder if you can i
wonder if there is
some way to do it with a certain amount of energy that we don't currently
possess where you can take
other metals and turn them into different metals i mean diamonds i mean yeah
but that's a pressure
spray paint yeah you can make anything gold really i love gold fool's gold yeah
um i have a friend who
lives up in alaska and he owns a gold mine have you ever seen uh the bone yard
um uh instagram page
no sir it's insane he's got this area in alaska that apparently there was a
mass die-off there that
probably had something to do with a comet impact somewhere around the younger
driest period and there's
tons of woolly mammoth bones there he has warehouses filled with them and it's
all his land and he's a
gold miner so it's like and he's wealthy he doesn't and he doesn't give a right
but this guy johnny comes
on here smoking cigarettes telling the story of his life and he's got warehouses
full of priceless stone
you know bones these ancient like uh cave bear heads and step bisons oh that's
just that's the junk drawer
so this is not like the most valuable in the world that he's got warehouses
filled with it
what is it was that an ariak i don't know what the that's like a horn is that
stem
he's got teeth and horns and they they found uh certain cats what is that they
don't know what
that is yet they found that it's mummified it's a tiny little mummified
creature oh that's one of
them alaskan uh chupacabras yeah yeah yeah they have to they have to get that
examined yeah so much
shit he has to i mean he's kind of an expert on it now but he kind of has to
bring people in to tell
them hey what the is this yeah that's crazy they just hose the side of this
cliff they just hose down the
permafrost and then bones start poking up and then they go in further and they
just been doing this
for years now it's insane that's so cool it's cool you never know what you're
gonna get they find
dinosaurs and stuff over they haven't found dinosaurs it's all stuff from like
uh this is a woolly mammoth
a dinosaur 60 000 no woolly mammoths and an ancient elephant right yeah so it's
not how long did they
exist for they did they hang out with dinosaurs no okay so they were never
hanging out with dinos
you never saw like a t-rex or a spinosaurus and the woolly mammoth hang out no
no i'd like to go to
that party though i think the t-rex would have ate them all um you know what i
just found out this is
fucking crazy sharks are older than trees sharks have existed before trees
existed i get what like 50
million years before trees there were sharks that's crazy that's crazy so i i
mean i don't know maybe it
makes sense since yeah look at that here it goes so uh trees uh it's so weird
to just talk about trees
is like did you hear sharks was older than trees like they're two people so
trees as we familiar familiarly
know them a primary trunk large height and a crown of leaves and fronds didn't
appear on the planet until
the devon how do you say that devonian devonian period some 360 million years
ago you might be
surprised to learn that sharks are older than trees they've been around for at
least 400 million years
that's crazy yeah that's fucking so i mean does it make did life come life was
from the water yeah
most likely so i mean it kind of makes sense i guess but imagine just like what's
what shark went up onto
the land and became a tree you know what i mean i don't think it worked that
way well i don't know how it
worked i wasn't there but there's must have been like some like some kind of amoeba
or life form that
slid up onto land and was like i'm gonna be i'm gonna be a plant i'm gonna be a
tree yeah and then
another guy's like you can be a tree i'm being this massive aquatic creature
that can
just bite anything in half what's bizarre is when you think of the variety just
the sheer variety of
life forms tha