Name: The Story of Russians Soldiers Who Turned to Stone After Shooting Down an UFO
Uploaded: 2023-08-08T17:21:56.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Story of Russians Soldiers Who Turned to Stone After Shooting Down an UFO' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-08-08. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Story of Russians Soldiers Who Turned to Stone After Shooting Down an UFO' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-08-08. Transcript available.

The Joe Rogan Experience.
You're an Applebee's guy.
I love Applebee's.
Really?
Yeah.
What's it about Applebee's?
I love the neighborhood, man.
The atmosphere.
I love the atmosphere.
I love the drink they give you that comes with a gummy shark.
Which one's that?
I don't know what it's called.
It's like one of them signature cocktails?
Yeah, but it's so good.
And they have a special Mountain Dew at Applebee's.
They do?
Yeah.
It's special?
Yeah, it's special.
What's this special?
You looking for another one of those?
No, I got this one right here.
It's like a raspberry flavor, I think.
It's called like Space Punch.
Darkberry Bash.
Darkberry Bash.
It's called, actually, NASA uses orange filters on Mars Bash.
I swear to God, check that shit out.
Look into it, guys.
They might.
I think what Jamie is saying about color correction, though, is accurate.
Yeah, like when I was just looking at the photos, they all come black and white,
I think.
Right.
I think the thing is that they're just getting data.
They're getting data and that data has to be interpreted into an image.
And it's a lot more complicated than like you taking a picture on your iPhone
and texting it to me and I get it and it's in full resolution.
Look up Mars, look up Mars copy and paste.
Look up NASA copy and paste.
NASA copy.
Let's see if this works.
I'll add Mars.
Just add Mars for a buzzword.
What do you think about all this UFO disclosure shit?
Are you paying attention to it?
Yes, sir.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's it's I think it's pretty cool.
That's pretty interesting, right?
Yeah.
You know, it's interesting like how little people seem to care.
Because we already know.
I know, but it's interesting that like there wasn't like some moment where
people like were like, holy shit, aliens are real.
Pretty soon that's coming.
You think I think it's because the slow trickle, it's going to be we just
accept it.
Well, they try to normalize it with like, yeah, like War of the Worlds, which
is like the world or Battle of Los Angeles and shit like that.
That was a real fucking thing that happened.
The pictures of Battle of Los Angeles is crazy.
What happened exactly?
There's this big object in the sky and we're shooting machine guns at it.
We got spotlights.
This is like in the 50s, maybe.
I've never seen it.
There's this photo.
Look at this shit.
Wow.
So we're putting fucking rounds on this fucking thing.
Spotlights on this thing in the sky.
Look at the rounds.
Right.
But what is it?
What is it that they see?
That's weird.
So he could see his spotlights.
1947, it says in the corner.
Boy, that looks like a fucking flying saucer.
Look at them.
Look at in the middle and look at.
But those things around it.
Those are fucking like my deuce rounds.
Like they're shooting at this fucking thing.
They don't know what it is.
Well, you know that there's a there's a famous story from the Soviet Union that
these guys shot at a UFO and it turned them into stone.
Is it true?
I don't know.
The CIA investigated it.
Here, I'll send it to you, Jamie.
Because I sent it to Jeremy Corbell.
That's what I asked him.
Fuck, I should have had links, Jamie.
God damn it.
Well, this is the only link I have.
It's a CIA UFO turned into STEM.
You're definitely on a watch list, Jamie.
Yeah, so there's literally like a CIA document about it.
That these guys supposedly shot at a low-flying spaceship.
According to the KGB materials, a quite low-flying spaceship in the shape of a
saucer appeared above a military unit that was conducting routine training
maneuvers.
For unknown reasons, somebody unexpectedly launched a surface-to-air missile
and hit the UFO.
It fell to Earth not far away and five short humanoids with large heads and
large black eyes emerged from it.
It is stated in the testimonies by the two soldiers who remained alive that
after freeing themselves from the debris, the aliens came close together and
then merged into a single object that acquired a spherical shape.
That object began to buzz and hiss sharply and then became brilliant white.
In a few seconds, the spheres grew much bigger and exploded by flaring up with
an extremely bright light.
At that very instant, 23 soldiers who had watched the phenomenon turned into
stone poles.
Poles.
Yeah, only two soldiers who stood in the shade and were less exposed to the
luminous explosion survived.
No shit.
The KGB report goes on to say that the remains of the UFO and the petrified
soldiers were transferred to a secret scientific research institution near
Moscow.
Specialists assumed that a source of energy that is still unknown to Earthlings
instantly changed the structure of the soldiers' living organisms,
having transformed it into a substance whose molecular composition is no
different from that of limestone.
Oh my god.
It turned them into limestone.
Turned them into limestone.
Turned them literally into limestone.
And this is a CIA paperwork?
Yeah.
Well, this is, you know, they're reading from a KGB file, right?
So, it's just, go to the very bottom of that again, Jamie, at the very bottom
of that.
It says, one of the things that says, the CIA representative stated, "If the KGB
file corresponds to reality, this is an extremely menacing case.
The aliens possess such weapons and technology that go beyond all our
assumptions.
They can stand up for themselves if attacked."
All right.
The thing is, they're saying, if the file corresponds to reality, that means
there's a question.
If this is real, they're tough.
Yeah.
They can fuck with you.
What year was this released?
I don't know.
Source is a newspaper.
1991?
93.
93.
So, there, you know, there's all these disclosures that are going on right now,
and they're very, very fascinating.
Because it's hard to know what's true and what's not true.
But it's interesting that they're talking about it.
But no one showed me anything yet.
I'm waiting for them to show me things.
I've seen some things already, like those videos that they took off the FLIR
video and the Go Fast video.
And these videos of these things where these jet fighter pilots are trying to
track this thing.
It's like zipping across the sky.
And they're like, "What the fuck is that?"
I've seen a few of those.
I've seen, talked to two different fighter pilots that have had encounters.
And they're all in.
They're all in.
I think there's a real thing going on.
What that real thing is, is what's confusing to me.
I think some of it has to be ours.
I think some of it has to be, like, super advanced drone technology that we don't
want everyone knowing about.
And it's probably some black-op shit.
But I don't think that's all of it.
I think it's also possible that we've been visited.
It just makes sense.
It sounds so stupid.
That's part of the problem of even talking about it because it sounds dumb.
Because there's no evidence.
So you have to believe in something where there's no evidence of it other than,
like, some blurry photographs.
But then when you just think about the size of the universe itself and the fact
that we exist.
We exist here on this planet.
We're real.
We know we're real.
What if it's fucking a Martha or whatever and they're from fucking the center
of the earth and the holes in the polar, the poles or whatever, north and south.
And that's where the holes are.
And that's why Google Maps blocks it all out and all that shit.
Well, that would be a great theory before cell phones.
Like that and satellites.
But it's not there.
You still can't see it.
Yeah, but you can with satellites.
And also flight patterns.
Like the people that...
Copy and paste, by the way.
You know who doesn't think the world is flat?
Pilots.
True.
Or anyone who's been in an airplane.
They fly around these motherfuckers.
They know where they have to go.
They know the flight patterns.
You look at it.
You see it.
Yeah, you look at it.
Also, by the way, everything's round.
Go out in the fucking sky and look at Mars, look at Jupiter, get a telescope,
look at all the stars.
Notice how everything's round?
Seems like there's a pattern going on.
Yeah.
Why would this be different?
This ass is round.
Yeah.
I don't know.
It's so weird, man.
I don't know.
And you're talking about the oh shit moment.
I think we've been so normalized to it.
Like ET all this shit.
Yeah.
Growing up watching this shit.
To where it's like, yeah, no shit.
Everyone, no matter what the surveys say or anything, everyone thinks there's
something going on.
Everyone.
Yeah.
There's a few people that still are very incredulous.
Elon, believe it or not, is incredulous.
He's famously said if the aliens are real, they sure are subtle.
They're very subtle.
Bigfoot's subtle too.
Bigfoot.
Doesn't mean he's not an interdimensional being that could teleport at will.
And knows where the cameras are.
He's an omniscient being.
He shuts down trail cams.
Bigfoot is just Jesus Christ full beard all over.
All right.
He's just woods Jesus.
Yeah.
That's what he is.
Y'all seen the woods?
Jesus.
He's a mythical creature that's looking out for humanity.
Our brothers and sisters, they need our help.
He's a benevolent, kind being.
He's got a big heart.