Name: Joe Rogan Experience #2021 - Mike Baker
Uploaded: 2023-08-16T00:00:00.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #2021 - Mike Baker' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-08-16. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #2021 - Mike Baker' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-08-16. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #2021 - Mike Baker

That's a fine cigar. It's not bad, right? That's really nice. Foundation cigars.
Shout out to them. What's up, Mike Baker? How are you? I'm doing well, thank
you. What do you got in those pieces of paper to scare the shit out of me with?
Yeah, you know what?
I got notes because you know why? Because I'm always being accused of wandering
and not being as organized as I should be. That's just this podcast does that
to people. Yeah, maybe so. But I said to myself, fuck it, I'm going to write
some things down. Okay. Because there's so much has happened since the last
time we sat down. Yeah. And so I made a list. I'm going to run through that if
you don't mind. Okay. Since last show. See, I even headlined it.
Chinese spy balloon. Failed mutiny in Russia. Four indictments of Trump. No,
last night was the fourth. Bank account records showing the Biden family took
over $20 million. Pee Wee Herman died.
I'm glad you got that in your notes. I got that. I actually, yeah, I've got it.
It's right there. And it's right before the two-year anniversary of the Afghan
withdrawal. I probably should have put that above Pee Wee Herman.
Why did you put Pee Wee Herman in there? You know what? Because I, when I found
out that Paul Rubens died, I was sad. I mean, it was like, I'm old enough. I
actually went to a show that Paul did when he was kind of working out his Pee
Wee character, right?
Oh, really? And it was fantastic. It was a great show. When was this? This was,
oh, fuck, it was years ago. So it would have been, uh, before I, it was
probably like 80, shit, 82, 83, 81.
Oh, wow. Somewhere in that time frame, right? It was a long time ago. It was at,
uh, Georgetown University in DC. And, uh, and it was a great show.
Anyway, point. And then, and I always thought like he didn't get enough credit
for like Pee Wee's Playhouse. And I know that people are like, what the fuck is
he talking about? But, but, but he was, he was really, he was, he was a good
guy.
He kind of got, he got off the rails with the, a little bit for a period of
time with that. He was, he was, uh, wanking in, uh, in a porn theater.
Yeah. But isn't that what they do in those things? Especially a gay porn
theater?
I guess. Yeah. It's got to sound weird, right? The kids though. Yeah. Porn
theater. What? I know. Yeah. That's, they used to have to go to places.
You had to, I don't, I don't know if you had to. Back when he was doing it, I
don't think there was a law, but, uh, I think, uh, back when he was doing it,
there were still, VHS tapes were out.
I think DVDs were out back then too. Cause this was like, I want to say he got
busted in like 90 something.
Yeah. Yeah. It was, it was easily 91. 91. Okay. Yeah. So definitely VHS tapes
were, that was back when you had to go through the curtains or laser discs or
something.
Remember like beads? Yeah. These kids today, they don't know jack shit. They're
getting their porn off of a phone.
Well, that's just it. I don't think they don't have an appreciation for how
hard you had to work back in certainly seventies and eighties.
I mean, it got easier by the time the 1990s rolled around, but it was, you had,
you had to, you had to go on like a, uh, like a quest or something.
Yeah. You had to be shamed. Yeah. What is it? What is it that you see?
Simple facts. What happened Friday night in Rubens hometown of Sarasota,
Florida are familiar by now.
According to the County Sheriff's office, three detectives, they said it three
guys.
They catch people jerking off at the triple X South trail cinema to watch the
audience.
That was watching a triple bill of Catalina five Oh tiger shark nurse, Nancy
and turn up the heat.
After the sting operation had hauled in three men on charges of violating
Florida state statute, 800 point zero three exposure of sexual organs.
Detective William Walters allegedly saw a man masturbate in quotes.
That's how the rap sheet spells it. Spells it wrong. Instead of earth says E,
um, in the darkened theater at eight 25 PM and again at eight 35 twice.
Yeah. Twice. Yeah. The first, the first sighting wasn't enough. You had to go
back to get it.
Meanwhile, the guy's got amazing recovery powers. Yeah.
Eight 25 blasts off and then he's back at it at eight 35. That's a fucking stud
right there.
Yeah. And that was before Viagra place under, I don't know if that's true.
When did Viagra come around? Placed under arrest upon leaving the theater.
The alleged offender quietly told the detectives his famous pseudonym and
according to the police made a novel peewee-esque attempt at a buy-off.
He offered to perform at a children's benefit for the sheriff's office if the
charges were dropped.
A department spokesperson said that the deputies did not feel the time they had
enough probable cause to charge Rubens with attempted bribery.
Is that bribery really when you say you're going to perform at an event?
Isn't it money only bribery?
It's good. No, it's, it's, you're bartering.
Anything? Yeah.
Like if someone says I'll suck your cock.
Yeah.
That's bribery.
A local reporter recognized Rubens' name on the arrest sheet the next day.
Within hours, the scandal machinery was roaring at full throttle.
Oh boy.
Yeah, yeah.
But then he, you know, he did.
Okay, so everybody makes mistakes.
But then he recovered.
And, you know, he went on to, to, uh...
It's a fairly harmless crime.
First of all, if you're in a porn theater, I think you should assume that those
dudes with raincoats on are beaten off.
Yeah.
You know, I mean, just, you're wearing rubber gloves in there.
And, like, those things are disgusting.
And to be fair...
If people don't recognize, like, I never went into one of those.
So I'm just on anecdotes.
But I would imagine, like, porn theaters are fucking gross.
You'd have to think so, right?
I mean, a regular theater's bad enough.
Your feet stick to the floor.
And that's just from the Pepsi.
Yeah.
Yeah.
A porn theater.
I gotta tell you, and honestly, the Nurse Nancy was an underrated film, I think.
So there was that.
So that's Paul Rubens.
That's Pee Wee Herman.
He died.
I just made a note because I thought...
My friend Phil Hartman worked with him.
That's how he kind of got his start in show business, on Pee Wee's Playhouse.
That's interesting.
I didn't know that.
Yeah, he was on Pee Wee's Playhouse.
He was one of the writers for Pee Wee's Playhouse.
I'll be damned.
Yeah, he always spoke very highly of Pee Wee.
Yeah.
Oh.
Yeah.
I fucking loved that show when I was a kid.
Yeah.
It was hilarious.
And Pee Wee's Big Adventure is a fucking amazing movie.
Exactly.
And that was...
When did that come out?
That was...
I want to say 80...
Yeah, 89, I must say.
Yeah.
Well, I was dating this girl.
I remember specifically the girl that I was dating at the time that I was
dating like right
around...
I was graduating high school because we were crying laughing.
It was so funny.
Like back then, it was so unique.
Don't forget to tell them Large Marge sent you.
Fun fucking movie.
Yeah.
I remember I took a date to Pee Wee's show, his comedy show.
I mean, the place was rolling, right?
He really was.
It was an interesting cat, but anyway.
I like that I'm seeing that side of you, Mike Baker.
Yeah.
The Pee Wee Herman fan.
Pee Wee Herman.
I still have a pair of his...
This is going to sound weird.
Signed Big Underpants.
I kept him all these years because they're so fucking funny.
And yeah, I'll give him to one of my boys.
I'm not sure which one.
Yeah.
Maybe put it in a museum somewhere.
Probably worth a lot of money one day.
Yeah.
I don't even know where we go from Pee Wee Herman.
We go from that to whatever notes you got.
Oh, yeah.
Anything else crazy?
Yeah, well, we're going to unfreeze a lot of money for the Iran prisoner swap.
That's another story.
But we could start with the Chinese spy balloon since I started there first.
So, what is your take on the Chinese spy balloon?
They said that Trump, that there was a bunch of those that were happening while
Trump was
in office, but they didn't tell him about it because they were worried he was
going to
shoot him down, which I thought was fucking amazing.
That might, you know what?
I'm not going to, at this stage of the game, I'm not going to say anything who
doesn't
sound plausible.
Everything sounds plausible nowadays.
Yeah.
So, the Chinese regime continues just like with the fucking Wuhan lab.
The Chinese regime continues to just say it was a weather balloon, right?
It got blown off course.
It was a weather balloon.
Well, A, it didn't get blown off course.
It had a massive array of propellers.
It had a rudder.
It had solar panels to keep those propellers churning.
They knew exactly what they were doing and where they were going.
And, you know, it shows up over, whatever, Alaska, the end of January, whatever,
and proceeds
to travel across the country in a path that is clearly designed to, you know,
collect intelligence
from sensitive facilities, right?
It flies over Montana.
What's in Montana?
A lot, but there's Malmstrom Air Force Base, and that's part of where we put
our land-based
nukes, right?
What part of Montana is that in?
Yeah, the northern part, if you...
Close to Canada?
Yeah.
Yeah, not, well, a little further south than Canada, but it's, it's, it's like
the top
quarter, I guess.
I think that's right.
And it is 150 or so, you know, silo-based nukes there.
There it is.
So, there it is.
So that's the base?
Yeah.
And so it was flying over that?
Flying over, flying over Malmstrom.
And so they were aware of it?
The Air Force Base was aware of it?
They, by the time, yeah, and look, it's not as if we're not, you know, taking
measures
or countermeasures to prevent surveillance, because the Chinese have spy
satellites, very
technical, very, very advanced.
So, we know how to protect communications, we know how to protect, and we also
know what's
available, right?
So, satellite imagery is going to give you a fair amount of information anyway.
So, the question is, okay, well, why the hell was this thing, which was as tall
as the
Statue of Liberty, why was it floating around up there?
With an array of antennas, obviously there to collect.
But it went over there, it went over Omaha, or near Omaha, where we've got U.S.
Strategic
Command and Ofut Air Force Base.
And, you know, the U.S. government, the military was like, well, we don't
believe, after the
fact, after we shot it down, they're like, we don't believe that it was
collecting, you
know, and we took measures to prevent it from collecting.
And not only that, we didn't shoot it down at the beginning, because we were
monitoring
its capabilities and learning from that.
Now, part of that is true, right?
If you've got a target, you identify a target, unlike with law enforcement in
the intelligence
world, you let that run, right?
Because you want to learn everything you can about that target, you know, who's
there to
support it, what does, you know, what's that look like?
How do they know that?
Can they figure out what it's transmitting?
Can they, can they tune into it?
Um, it most, yes, most of it's signals intelligence and capabilities.
It's not really imagery that you're getting from it, although that's part of it.
Um, but, you know, so I have no doubt that, you know, because everyone was
saying, well,
why don't we just shoot the fucker down when it showed up over Alaska on the,
whenever the
28th of January and, or when we became aware of it, um, initially.
And, you know, because we live in a, you know, this highly partisan world,
everybody was saying,
well, because Biden's inept and, you know, they didn't know what they were
doing and they
let it float all the way across the States.
So you can't discount the argument that says, well, part of it is we let it go
because we
were gathering intelligence ourselves from their capabilities.
It's always interesting to know.
It's just like when we, uh, here I go disappearing down a rabbit hole when we
lost that, uh, platform,
that era I said, uh, during the about about rate, 