Name: Joe Rogan Experience #2030 - Protect Our Parks 9
Uploaded: 2023-09-05T00:00:00.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #2030 - Protect Our Parks 9' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-09-05. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #2030 - Protect Our Parks 9' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-09-05. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #2030 - Protect Our Parks 9

Joe Rogan podcast, check it out.
The Joe Rogan Experience.
Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day.
It's darts.
God damn it.
The pun gun.
Come on boys, let's go.
Oh, sunglasses.
Not yet.
They're options.
I'm ready.
I need them.
Norman doesn't fuck around.
He gets here, he's got them ready to go.
The lights hurt my eyes.
Well, you had a rough one last night, huh?
The city brings out the evil in me.
It's a party town.
It really is.
It's always been a party town.
It's great.
It's a fun town.
You guys went to see Nether Hour too, right?
Yeah, it was fun.
Those guys are cool.
They're really good.
I'd only seen them after the Vulcan shows, but this was like the first time I
saw them like
their own show and they were like, oh, you're crushing it.
And Uncle Lazer.
Yeah.
Uncle Lazer got on and fucking played the harmonica.
I just thought he was a local Coke fan.
Phenomenal.
He is definitely a local Coke fan.
I thought that's all he was.
A lot of guys who do Coke also are good at harmonica.
He's a good dude.
I like that guy.
He's funny.
He's fun.
Good energy.
It's like, he ain't faking it.
No, he's not.
You know what I mean?
That's that guy.
Yeah.
He's a wild boy.
Yeah.
But I had like one heart to heart with him and he pulled me aside.
He didn't break character at all.
He was like, brother, let me ask you something.
Is this good?
I was like, oh man, you're crazy.
Wow.
What a night.
Ric Flair, Waka Flocka, Uncle Lazer.
Waka Flocka, Uncle Lazer.
Like a Mad Lib.
It was crazy.
It's fun, right?
It's funny too, because my uncle is named Uncle Lazer.
He was a cantor.
Oh, that's hilarious.
Every time I hear that name, I'm like, we're different.
Your uncle's name was Uncle Lazer?
Yeah.
You had an Uncle Lazer?
Yeah.
Was he a fucking American gladiator?
What did he do?
He was a Holocaust survivor.
Night drop.
Bro, did you guys hear the story about those American gladiators?
They got like no money.
Really?
Yeah, they got like no money.
They were celebrities.
I know.
They got fucked.
Thank you.
They got royally fucked.
The Holocaust is the ultimate obstacle course.
I was reading something about it.
Jamie, were you the one who told me about it, Jamie?
Yeah, it was a documentary.
There's two documentaries actually.
Salute.
Cheers, boys.
Gentlemen.
Hey, praise Allah.
It's so good.
It's so good to see you guys.
Good to be back.
What is this?
Number nine, ten?
Nine.
Nine.
Let's fucking go.
Nine.
Nine, nine, nine, nine, nine.
Those American gladiators, bro, that's like pro wrestling.
Yeah, well, that's a hard-ass job.
That's like you're crashing into people and stuff.
You're taking people down.
Yeah.
You're fucking battling with big Q-tips.
Yeah.
You're taking steroids and you're just spearing strangers.
They beat the fuck out of some people.
Oh, they really unloaded on those guys, too.
Oh, yeah.
They were like, gah.
And those women.
They barely got paid.
Really?
They barely got paid.
It was NBC, too, wasn't it?
Oh, this is you, bro.
Remember that hamster wheel they would run in?
I sucked on it already.
I'm sorry.
Yeah, one of those broke, and I went in the guy's back and they said he needed
75 stitches.
The hamster wheel?
Yeah.
Really?
Jesus Christ, dude.
Damn.
I used to love that Ninja Warrior show.
Oh, that's just great.
That was a fun show.
Bro, some people are really good at that.
It's very entertaining.
Like, to be really good at that, you've got to be a fucking athlete.
You know who the best was?
Like, the 106-pound women.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, they could just hold themselves up forever.
You know, we found that on Fear Factor.
When we did, like, these guys had to hang from a pole over some water, and the
men broke
way before the women.
Yeah, well, they're lighter.
Yeah.
Makes sense.
It's the only thing they're better at.
Die!
They say hanging is, like, really good for you, just to hang.
I mean, not for Epstein.
I do that every day.
Tell that to sit down.
Wow!
I do that every day.
Really?
Yeah, yeah.
I do that every day, and then I also have this thing that I do where I hinge
from my waist.
Go upside down?
Yeah, it's like, but you don't go upside down from your ankles.
The same company makes it, but I prefer this one because all the weight is
literally from
your waist forward.
You're not holding any weight in your legs, which I think makes you more tense,
and you might
tense your back up.
With this, you just lean forward.
What is that thing called, Jamie?
We talked about it a gang of times.
The decks, too.
The decks, too.
We have one of those out here.
That thing is the shit.
That is the shit for your back, man.
You also do, like, back extension exercises on it, but just to hang there, I
hang there in
the mornings.
Oh, wow.
Yeah, I get in there, and just, I feel everything go pop, pop, pop, pop.
You ever put the wife in there and really give it to her?
Hey, easy.
This is a family show.
You're making all these positions there.
Yeah, you could do a lot with that.
You ever do just, like, a jumping jack?
Just, like, a basic thing?
Do I?
Yeah.
No, I do not do that.
But it's a good move.
Jumping jacks are really good.
Yeah, trampoline, very good.
That side-to-side shit.
I used to do a lot of those, a lot of side-to-side things.
Yeah.
Till my last knee issue.
Jumping jacks is when I knew we were going to lose the war in Iraq.
You ever see those videos of those guys teaching the Iraqi military?
They're like, all right, we're going to do physical fitness.
Oh, like the terrorists?
Not the terrorists.
The, like, Iraqi police.
And, like, the guys that were on our side.
So we had our guys training them, and they would try to do jumping jacks, and
it was like...
Yeah, let's watch some of that.
I didn't know that.
They can't do jumping jacks.
ISIS does the bars.
ISIS does the monkey bars.
Yeah, monkey bars.
Monkey bars.
Hilarious.
The sleep-wake camp workout.
Did you guys ever see those videos of, like, kids in the 1960s in high school?
Love kids.
Doing physical fitness.
Yeah, just jacked.
Everybody's fucking...
Everybody's, like, ripped.
And they're all doing chin-ups.
They're all doing monkey bars.
They're, like, swinging.
Yeah, they're ripped.
They have 12-packs.
What happened?
What the fucking video games do?
We were chilling.
I think it's plastic.
Well, there's a lot of preservatives in the food.
There's these guys.
This is Ninja Warrior.
That's trouble.
That's trouble.
In the middle of that.
So bad trouble.
What fucking secret knowledge?
Look at this guy.
The secret knowledge of jumping jacks has been...
The other guy can't separate his legs at all.
This guy's hilarious.
He's opening and closing every jump.
It's like when the black comic brings the white guy on the dance.
These guys are amazing.
He's doing the Kremlin dance.
What the fuck is that?
What is he doing?
We're going to win.
He said they're doing the YMCA.
It does look like that.
It's fun to stay at the...
I-S-I-S.
Bro, everyone sucks.
One guy quit.
He was like, I'm done.
Yeah.
This is stupid.
I'm all about a la op-bar, but these jumping jacks are too much.
It's too stupid.
Why am I doing this?
When is this going to come up?
I just want to kill myself.
In real-life combat, when is this going to come up?
Oh, my body feels better.
A little hair of the...
Touch.
A touch of the poise.
Yeah, so here's the kids.
Look at these freaks, dude.
Wow!
These are fucking young boys in 1962.
Well, they were scared of the race war.
This is all before plastic hit.
What the fuck is this?
Preservatives.
It's plastics.
Body shaming.
Plastics?
Yeah.
Microplastics.
So thin.
They're not an ounce of body fat.
They're endocrine disruptors.
Look at that kid's in high school.
Well, there was war in the air.
You still had to fight in the war.
There was war in the air.
You know, World War II had just ended.
We were talking about going to Vietnam.
Damn, look at these hot-ass kids.
This is ninja warrior shit.
Look at these kids.
Animals.
This is sexy.
Look at this.
They're all shirtless and sexy.
But I bet none of them wrote a good book.
I bet none of them sang a song anybody wanted to listen to.
That's fun.
This is like fully loaded.
We're hyper-aggressive Americans.
Yeah.
I wonder.
I think that the microplastic thing is real.
If you look at, there's a woman who wrote this book called Countdown.
Her name is Shanna Swan.
She's a doctor from Harvard, right?
I always ask.
Yeah, the taint lady, right?
Taint lady.
Yeah.
Taint lady.
Talk to taints on here.
When you exposure to phthalates, like it's a type of, it's a chemical that's in
plastics
and some other things, it disrupts her endocrine system and it fucks up with
mammals.
With the males, it makes their taint smaller.
It makes their dick smaller, it makes their balls smaller.
It makes your sperm count grow up.
And they find them in human beings.
These are like studies they've done in mammals.
So they did studies, one of the best ways to determine male or female in young
mammals
is the male's taint is 50 to 100% larger.
So they look at that to see if it's a boy or a girl.
And when you expose the animal to phthalates, that shrinks.
And it sort of feminizes the boys.
They have less testosterone, their penises shrink, their taints shrink.
Son of a bitch.
And there's a similar effect in human beings.
And she believes that that's the driving force.
And she thinks that we've been exposed since people have been using microwaves
and everything's in plastic and water bottles in your car.
Water bottles in your car, yeah.
All these different chemicals.
And then there's fertilizers and pesticides and herbicides and all that shit.
Fish that eat the plastic.
All that shit's getting into your body.
Sucks to be the guy that was dating her.
He was like, what are you researching?
And she's like, why is everybody's dick small these days?
What are you talking about, honey?
She's a hilarious older woman.
She's really funny, man.
She has a thing on her Instagram called the jizz quiz.
Whoa!
I love that.
It's like, she's funny.
But she's talking about real science.
And she's like, it's kind of a disarming way to do it.
Because she's such a sweet lady.
And she's so fun.
But she's talking about what's going on with microplastics.
If you jizz in her face without telling her, it's a pop quiz.
God damn it.
You motherfuckers.
God damn it.
You never know when it's going to come up.
Imagine if that really is it.
And imagine when they introduced plastics to humans.
It was just inevitably going to weaken us as a species.
Altered us.
And there's no way we could have known.
Because we'd never had plastic before.
So there was no plastic forever.
And then 19, whatever it is, 50s?
When does it start?
Where people start using plastics everywhere.
Milk used to come in a jar.
At that same time, there's a direct drop.
Really?
In like sperm cell count.
And women are having more miscarriages.
Whoa!
Yeah, less fertility from both the male and the female.
And the males.
So it's not just like feminizing.
It's messing up the females too.
And it's doing something to the males.
It's like crushing its reproductive system.
I think she said we'd eat a credit card of plastic a week.
Yeah, that's what she said.
But there's some dispute about that.
It's like it's an average thing.
Like are some people getting way more of it?
Are some people getting none of it?
Like is there a way to avoid it?
Yeah, you know what's weird when you check into a hotel
and you see a family
and they bring in like a 20 case of bottled water?
And you're like, what are you doing?
You're going to be here two nights.
You need all that bottled water?
See, you just buy bottled water.
Where the fuck did it come from?
Was it on a boat in Thailand for a month?
Drifting across the ocean.
Where did your water come from?
I don't even ask.
I just drink it.
So what if I'm drinking some bullshit fucking chemicals?
It's going to make my tank shrink.
I'm a tap man.
I love tap.
It's really not good for you.
What?
Tap?
Yeah, tap water is not good.
Everybody in New York loves saying New York has the best tap water.
Tha